Pancakes & French Fries

Blogging, a History

Friends + Family

This is my last week before I go back to school. Summer is almost over.

I started this blog 10 years ago on my 35th birthday. Nico was 9 months old and Mikey was 3. I was a stay at home mom. The boys and I kept mostly to ourselves. I felt out-of-place in “mom groups” and didn’t take part much in activities like Gymboree or similar toddler classes. Instead, we did a lot of activities at home. I cooked a lot from scratch and tried, without success, to like crafting. I watched a lot of dinosaur cartoons and documentaries. I read almost nonstop, mostly romance, but also a bit from the book list in The Western Canon. I also read a lot of John Irving. I adored A Prayer for Owen Meany. My weight yo-yo’d throughout.

I used to blog about family life without much fanfare until Nico marked up our living room with a red sharpie. That was my only experience going viral. Some guys invented Twitter and then another guy invented Facebook. I signed up for both. I continued to write about anything and everything until my friend’s parents became suddenly and gravely ill. That experience changed my life. I began The William Morris Project. Decluttering and organizing became the focus of my life until I started volunteering at the boys’ school as the librarian. One day I looked up and realized I had a job. It was getting harder to write regularly and the boys were getting old enough that writing about them didn’t feel as harmless. I felt the eyes of the parents at school and started censoring myself. Blogging was no longer a fun way to express myself creatively. I would stop and then miss it and then start again. I tried writing only about books, and then only about decluttering. I stopped trying to make blogging a thing and decided to write when I felt the urge. That turned into blogging my summer projects.

Mikey is now 14 and starts high school in a couple of days. Nico is 11 and going into 6th grade. I work as a school librarian, a career that just happened. I’m still married to a wonderful, quiet man who avoids the internet. He doesn’t even like to go on Amazon! He travels a lot.

I grew a spine during the last 10 years. I’m less tolerant and forgiving of selfish people with bad intentions. I find it easier to erase people like that from my life. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. How I spend my time has changed as well. I no longer read romances. They’re all the same, and that drives me batty. Funny, because that familiar predictability is exactly what I loved about the genre 10 years ago. Young Adult books, now that I read them for work, are an absolute chore to read. I wish publishers would realize that teenagers are capable of enjoying well written, complex storytelling. Until then, I guess I’ll keep reading this book about a teenage girl who sets off to save the world from mean adults with a guy she can’t stand but is kinda cute and maybe she likes him? I wonder how it will end. 

I was Catholic by culture, not really knowing more than the bare minimum about my faith, but now I am Catholic by study. Reading and studying Catholicism has given me a surprisingly fulfilling intellectual challenge. Reading more literature and classics has done the same for me. This is good and happened out of necessity. I felt bored with everything and unable to comment or participate in anything interesting. I love my job and the little ones at school, but that coupled with too much time in some corners of the internet had done a number on my brain cells. I still feel that way. I’m working on it. 

I’m not where I was 10 years ago. In some ways I’ve grown, in some ways I haven’t. Time keeps marching on and I’m glad to have documented at least a bit of this journey along the way.

One Kitchen Cabinet Down

KonMari / WMP / Decluttering Flavor of the Month

We registered for Pilsner glasses for our wedding. We also registered for wine glasses (red and white), everyday glasses, tumblers, and coffee cups and saucers, but the Pilsner glasses are what embarrass us the most. We drink Coronas, rarely, and lick the salt off the bottles. Our Mexican beer has a direct line of travel from the bottle to the gullet.

I do not know how many drinking glasses and average family of four needs, but I know they do not need Pilsner glasses.

They do not need twenty three coffee mugs, either, but our kitchen cabinet suggested otherwise.

I decided 16 glasses is enough for a family of four. I based this decision on research and the fact that glasses I bought came in sets of 16 (eight high balls and eight tumblers). If I am wrong, I will buy another set. I also kept three novelty glasses the boys love and 8 coffee mugs. The coffee cups and saucers from our original wedding set remain, but they will go soon.

I wrapped up with newspaper enough glasses and mugs to fill a large moving box. I did end up commandeering the very bottom shelf of this cabinet instead of the corner cabinet shelf.

I loved Deanna’s suggestion to buy a lazy Susan and was pleased to see they now come in 18″ diameter. I do not love that it is white plastic, but the functionality far outweighs the form in this case.

This area of my kitchen feels so good now. I need to remember the impact small projects can have in the home. I should have done this sooner!

Something About July

Friends + Family

On July 6, 2015, while in Lake Tahoe, Nico went into anaphylactic shock. We never could figure out what happened. He is allergic to nuts, especially pine nuts, so all we can surmise is there was cross contamination. In the years since, I refused to go back to Lake Tahoe, though I have vacationed their almost yearly since I was a child.

My entire family ganged up on me this year and convinced me to try Lake Tahoe again. I agreed, grudgingly, and made plans for July 20, the day Mikey finished summer school. On Tuesday, July 17, The Mister and I were on our way to pick up the boys from karate when Mikey called us from his cell phone. Only when The Mister answered the phone, it was not Mikey. It was a parent calling to tell us there was a problem. Mikey stepped in a fire ant hill and he was getting a lot of hives, everywhere. After some deliberation, we asked her to meet us at the urgent care with Mikey to save time. I knew something was wrong. I just knew.

We arrived at the urgent care first. I ran in and told them my son was arriving soon and was having some sort of allergic reaction. I didn’t know how serious it was, but we had a family history of severe allergies. They were polite and had me fill out forms. They didn’t seem alarmed, they didn’t clear a room, and the doctors sitting at the nurses station looked up but didn’t move. I expected this. I’m sure many people run into urgent cares frantic over nothing. I filled out the paperwork and waited for Mikey outside.

My heart dropped when I pulled Mikey out of that minivan. His skin burned red everywhere, including the whites of his eyes. He was also swollen and his skin so hot, so hot. He was lightheaded, scared, and leaning on me for support as we stumbled into the waiting room.

“He’s here!” I yelled from the middle of the waiting room as Mikey just sort of leaned his body over mine. As it was with Nico 3 years and 11 days ago, that is when everything escalated. Every single person behind that counter jumped out of their seats. One nurse came at Mikey with a wheelchair so fast it was like the cartoons where the character gets knocked behind the knees by a car, does a flip in the air, and lands in the driver’s seat. They ran us to one room and then a doctor yelled, “No, The Bay.”

The Bay is a room with a wall of large sliding glass doors that can accommodate an ambulance stretcher. It’s enormous so several medical personnel can fit in there at once. There is no privacy because your condition is serious enough that someone needs to be watching you at all times.

Epinephrine. Benadryl. Decadron. I.V., just in case. Wires, machines, 2 doctors, 4 nurses and me, watching my world splinter for the second time.

“Are you scared, Mikey? It’s going to be okay,” I said when I noticed he was shaking uncontrollably.

The doctor put her hand on my shoulder. “It’s just a side effect from the epinephrine, mom. He’s okay.”

Mikey was so tough. So tough. He was terrified, but still calm. He cracked jokes. He complained that what hurt most was all the shots. “I’ve had at least 6! When will they end?”

“You’ve had 2 and the I.V.,” I said. I’m glad to know that even when terrified I retain the ability to accurately report the facts.

“Well, it might as well be 6 it hurts so bad!” I placed ice packs on both of his shoulders. I asked the nurses if The Mister and Nico could come back to see Mikey. They agreed, despite the policy and crowded room.

Nico came in and stared at Mikey as if the force of his will could return everything to its natural order. He was unaccustomed to being the observer and not the patient in a medical emergency.

“Hey Nico,” Mikey said. “It’s like that scene in episode IV when Darth Vadar tells Obi-Wan, “We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.”

One of the nurses looked up from her notes. “Star Wars reference,” I murmured.

I tried to take pictures throughout, just like our allergists have told us to do, but a few times I was too nervous and caught up in the moment. I should have taken pictures of Mikey when he first came in to document his appearance, for example, but it was the last thing on my mind.

When the ambulance arrived to take us to the hospital, the mood in the Bay was decidedly more calm. Mikey’s face was starting to regain its natural color and the hives on his extremities were going down. His feet and torso were still a mess but everything was progressing nicely.

“Are you scared, buddy,” the paramedic asked. “We’re here to help. You’re going to be just fine.”

“I’m okay,” said Mikey. “My shaking is a side effect of the epinephrine.”

The paramedic smiled. “So it is, bud. You’re a smart kid.”

The ambulance ride to the hospital was quiet, almost peaceful. Mikey was getting sleepy from the stress and medication, so the paramedic kept up a steady stream of chatter to keep him awake. When he finished explaining every single machine in the ambulance he asked Mikey if he had anything to say.

“Just this. Did you ever notice that your lips don’t touch when you say the word touch, but do when you say the word apart?”

“I never…”

“And there are more planes in the sea than there are ships in the sky.”

“I…”

“The brain named itself.”

“What?”

“Think about it.”

“Holy crap, kid; you’re something else. I like you.”

I like Mikey, too. He’s doing better now, though the stress of dealing with the bites has me gnawing at my cuticles until they bleed. I guess they can take weeks to get better and the pustules that form is dead tissue, not infection. We were told to keep everything clean and dry and to not let anything pop. I need to schedule an appointment with Nico’s allergist. I read venom allergies respond well to shots.

We did end up going to Lake Tahoe on the 20th, and basically all I do is stare at Mikey’s feet. It’s been hailing. We leave tomorrow.

It’s Okay to Take up Space

KonMari / WMP / Decluttering Flavor of the Month

I never did decide what to do with the corner cabinets. The one on the left managed to stay clean (and unused) over the past two years but the right cabinet, positioned as it is next to the dishwasher and the counter of doom, collected grime, and dust, and the all the odd kitchen items without a home. I decided to tackle the cabinet and the counter without a plan and hoped inspiration would strike as I worked.

That’s not entirely true. The cabinet where we keep our glasses is due for a purge. It’s cluttered and full of mismatched glasses. I have way too many coffee cups–gifts from students–taking up precious room, forcing us to put my large, tall smoothie glasses on a higher shelf. I can’t reach the higher shelves and since I have my favorite coffee smoothie almost every single day and never use the coffee cups, reorganizing that cabinet is a priority this summer. I figured cleaning out the corner cabinet and counter would create space that would allow me to store my smoothie classes on a lower shelf.

Every home has a surface that collects clutter, and for us one of the surfaces is the counter above the dishwasher. This is a collection of tins from Christmas. Empty gift tins from students, a gift card, a Metrolink schedule, a pair of new Christmas socks, and a PopSocket. I gave Mikey the PopSocket and told him to use the smallest tin to store his device cords. Everything else went into the trash or the donation pile. I stared at that pile for seven months and it took me less than 7 minutes to get rid of it.

The corner cabinet took more time. I had countless Trader Joe’s orchid and flower pots, Starbucks mugs, and other remnants of student gifts. Those all went into the donation pile. I threw away the nearly empty bottle of bubbles. (?)

This is all that was left: a hot pad, marbles to stabilize flower arrangements, my tea cup, a vase, cocktail sticks, and a bowl my mom bought when she found out I was pregnant with Mikey. I’m keeping it for future grand-babies. :)

After I put away the hot pad and vase, I realized what was left was mine. At first I debated how I would fit my stuff on a shelf without taking up too much room, but then I realized that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I took the entire bottom shelf of the corner cabinet for myself.

It’s amazing how scandalous this idea was, if only for a split second. A whole shelf, to myself? The idea seemed decadent and a waste of space. Perhaps it is, but I will not allow the urge to take up as little space as possible extend to a kitchen cabinet. In a couple of weeks, when I tackle the glasses, I will see if this is the best cabinet for me. This cabinet is deep and in the corner, so maybe I should take up the bottom shelf of the cabinet above the dishwasher. It’s the easiest for to access, so it’s something to consider. In the corner, or not, I’m taking a shelf.

The Board and That Crumpled Paper

KonMari / WMP / Decluttering Flavor of the Month

Last year I read two books that significantly changed the way we managed the boys’ schoolwork. The Board is a result of reading those books, and while I never planned to post this project here, it made such a difference in our lives that it’s worth sharing.

It’s best to begin at the beginning, which in this case was 2016. I was at my wit’s end regarding the boys’ lackluster executive skills. This is the diplomatic, millennial way to say they were disorganized, messy, and constantly forgetting their homework and obligations. They always did their homework, but they didn’t always turn in their homework. Sometimes it was on the table, sometimes it was in their backpacks. Sometimes they forgot their music instruments. Sometimes they forgot their altar serving assignments. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes I felt like I was always yelling.

The first book I read was Smart But Scattered. This book was great in helping me identify their strengths and weaknesses and reminded me of the obvious–we don’t all share the same gifts and what comes naturally to one (mom and dad) may seem daunting for another (Mikey and Nico). It also disabused me of the notion that once they hit middle school they magically mature into multi-tasking wizards.

Once children reach middle school, the demands on executive skills increase dramatically–and, we would argue, in many cases unrealistically. […] That means more support, rather than less, is critical. Think about how children learn to ride a bike. At the point where the training wheels are removed, they need more guidance, encouragement, and support from parents than they did when they were riding around with training wheels. The onset of adolescence, and the brain growth that accompanies this stage, requires the same thing.

The second book I read was even more amazing and focused on boys: That Crumpled Paper was due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life. This is the book that inspired The Board and changed our lives forever. The Board is the tool that helped me guide the boys while still allowing them to build and develop their executive skills.

Warning: The Board is not for everyone.

Based on their “dis-organizational” style, I determined that Mikey and Nico function best with clear, visual reminders displayed in a prominent location. They also needed set locations for frequently accessed paperwork/longterm assignment instructions, a bin to place items for us to sign or review, and several calendars. I bought a 5’x3′ bulletin board and turned my dining room into a War Room.

This is what it looks like after the end of a very successful year. The bottom row has been usurped by Nico’s artwork, but I’ll walk through what it looks like normally.

I took the boys to a school supply store and had them pick out nameplates for me to use as headers. Nico chose a Woodlands Animal theme. I used the nameplates to create the following sections, which you can see starting from the top left moving in a clockwise formation.

  • Altar Serving (their quarterly assignment calendar)
  • Extra Curricular Activities (karate, game schedules)
  • Every Day (not seen as well in this picture because it’s blocked by a golf camp flyer, but there’s another picture below)
  • Amazing/So Proud (where they pinned whatever work they were proud of)
  • Long Term Assignments (where they pinned instructions for longterm assignments, MLA format guides, or anything they needed to refer to more than once)
  • Misc/Special Events (here is where they pin school flyers, coupons, party invitations, etc.)
  • Mikey’s Schedule (Mikey posted his weekly homework schedule here, though by the 2nd trimester he didn’t need to anymore)
  • Mom/Dad Sign or Review (filed trips forms, permission slips, etc.)
  • Nico’s Schedule (Nico pinned his spelling words/homework contract here)

Here is a closeup of the Every Day schedule (blurry, sorry, wasn’t expecting to share this online). This is a quick list the boys checked before heading out the door. Nico chose the fonts and colors with Mikey’s approval. Both books made it clear that the children have to be a part of the process or it won’t work. I came up with the idea for The Board because Mikey did well with a tiny board he had above his desk and Nico kept trying to put his stuff on it, too. They said they wished their whole life could be on a board. Wish granted.

Close up of the Amazing/So Proud section.

Here is The Board with everything down for the summer. The only calendars left are altar serving and karate, which are year round. I know it looks like a cluttered mess above, but during the year it was pretty tidy and, more importantly, it worked so well for us! Because Nico’s homework contract was right there while we ate, we ended up doing spelling bees during dinner, or helped him memorize the Preamble to the Constitution, or talked to Mikey about the school dance coming up, or discussed our plans for the weekend based on the calendars. The War Room made dinner peaceful.

Many of my friends told me straight up that they would never, ever do this to their dining room. That’s fine! I agree it’s not for everyone. Most people use their phones to do what I did, but that didn’t work for us. A friend of mine adopted the idea for her son and bought a large board for above his desk. Another friend relies heavily on a planner. At the end of the day, you have to do what works for you or it won’t work at all. Three cheers to finding what works!

EDIT: I had a request for a picture of The Board when I first posted about it last year on FB (personal page, no link). Here is a cell phone picture I found from October 2017, shortly after our lives changed for the better.