Pancakes & French Fries

One Year of Ugly

Books

*I received this book for free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. There are affiliate links throughout.

I did a cursory search of Trinidadian authors to confirm what I suspected: One Year of Ugly is the first book I’ve read by a native Trinidadian, and it is not technically an #ownvoices book. I didn’t pick the best book to represent a country, but so be it. I’ll start with my brief synopsis of the book because, as of right now, my chief complaint is with the marketing. In short, the marketing ruined this book for me.

After Yola Palacio and her family flee Venezuela for Trinidad, she thinks the worst is over. Sure, she and her family are now unauthorized immigrants, but they have a new life and can make it work. That is until Aunt Celia dies and Ugly, the crime boss Aunt Celia secretly owes, comes to collect. Now the Palacio family is active, if unwilling, participants in a crime ring and Yola, well, she can’t stay away from Román, Ugly’s right-hand man.

One Year of Ugly is promoted as a dark romantic comedy. If you are a fan of dark themes like I am, please scrub dark from your expectations. Lemony Snicket is darker than One Year of Ugly. The only reason this book is dark is that we root for unauthorized immigrants and an illicit romance. The book is funny throughout, with Mackenzie using the sardonic voices of Yola and her beloved deceased aunt to make safe commentary on Venezuelan politics.

Publishers describe Mackenzie as a mix of Junot Díaz and Maria Semple but, again, don’t believe the hype. I was an enormous fan of Junot Díaz before the allegations, and the comparison doesn’t hold up to review. Like Semple, Mackenzie is a beach read. Anyone who reads One Year of Ugly expecting more than Where Did You Go, Bernadette will be disappointed. I would not have been able to finish this book if I held to the expectation that I would read a woman’s answer to The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

Did I like it? I gave it three stars, and if you’ve been here a while, you know that is nothing new for me. I rarely give books more than three stars, and I stand by my unmerciful rating system! If I give every book is 4 and 5 stars, there are no great books. If everything is fantastic, nothing is fantastic.

If you like romantic comedies, you will like this book.

If you loathe discussions of controversial politics, you will like this book.

If you love Netflix, you will love this book because they already acquired the rights. And here, oddly, is what redeemed the book for me. A Netflix production might be what we need to make this romantic comedy truly dark beyond the superficial gloss-over of a complicated subject and a few bad words.

I look forward to seeing how the Palacio family fleshes out on film.

 

Higher Learning

Friends + Family

I was a mediocre tennis player in high school. I often choked under pressure and didn’t relish competition. I had no desire to play tennis in college and went to a small private high school. We competed in a bottom tier league full of similarly talented players. I played during the offseason to keep my skills up and progress in rank, but I had no desire for state or regional glory. The balance sheet in my head told me the added stress and commitment wasn’t worth it if I didn’t plan to play competitively in the future. Whether this was my INTJ personality formulating excuses to appease my perfectionism and avoid the risk of failure is up for debate. Without a doubt, it’s possible. All I know is that I had fun. I made my teammates laugh, and they gave me the most inspirational/team spirit award at the end of the season. I turned bright red and made a self-deprecating joke as I reached for my plastic trophy.

At some point, I joined the Spanish Club, though I don’t recall attending any meetings except for the one where we took a group picture for the yearbook. In the photo, my hair is a gigantic curly mess, and I’m wearing an ugly patchwork sweater that, at the time, was the height of fashion. I didn’t participate in any other activities that I can recall.

My grades were okay, especially in English Language Arts. My SAT scores were strong, but nothing extraordinary. I know I did far better in English and writing than in math. I don’t remember details, but this was a long time ago. For me, looking back on high school is like staring into a foggy mirror. I know I’m in there, but it’s all a blur.

I read a lot, far more than my peers. I skipped most parties but listened to music and made mixed tapes. I went to the movies and hung out at the mall. I worked on my tan and laid out by the pool. I traveled with my family for two weeks every August. I was timid and introverted, but overall I was a typical teenager. I graduated (middle of the pack?) and went to an excellent university.

Today I wouldn’t fare as well. I know this because we recently had a telephone call with a college coach, something we hadn’t considered until we heard it was part of my husband’s benefits package. When a friend asked me how it went, all I could say was that it was everything we feared but didn’t want to contemplate.

My favorite parenting book of all time is Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. It’s my standard baby shower gift, and I recommend it to any parent willing to listen to me talk about slowing down. That book changed me. The college process is asking me to pluck my favorite book off the shelf and light it on fire.

We are late to the college process. We should have started in middle school. We should be working off a plan and creating an identity package and thinking strategically. It’s not enough to have good grades or be a good kid. Teenagers today need to invent Google 2.0 or swim backstroke while playing the violin at the Olympics. Mikey plays clarinet, and we don’t have a pool.

Right here. Right here at this sentence, at this painfully restrained string of words, is where I should stop writing. I should turn off my computer and read a book or listen to music or create a Spotify playlist since mixed tapes don’t exist, and all the malls are closed. Instead, I will sit here and ask the internet if anyone else wonders what we are doing to our kids.

I know good, smart kids who didn’t get into the colleges of their choice–and they weren’t aiming exceptionally high. To be fair, I also know good, smart kids who played the game and got into fantastic schools. The college coach told Mikey that while he appreciated his humble attitude as a character trait, it wasn’t going to get him into college. “You need to sell yourself, really make yourself stand out. Don’t forget; you’re competing against the OC kids. Colleges need to believe you’re special.”

He is special, they all are, but that argument won’t get anyone into college.

You spend your time as a parent regretting the past or worrying about the future. Occasionally, you get to do both. Should we have pushed the extra-curricular activities? I knew I should have sent him to that fancy science camp! What if he doesn’t like his chosen major? Fifteen is too young to know what you want to do for the rest of your life! Years ago, I got off the roller coaster. I didn’t think to worry about the people still willing to ride or that the barker was on the admissions committee.

I am confident both my sons will be fine. They’ll graduate from great colleges and have great jobs and become great people. But a part of me is sad; they may not ever have the opportunity to be okay with good. They may not want to take a class just because it sounds interesting, or read a book without linking it to their Goodreads account as proof, or make a playlist with their favorite songs because everything is traceable! What would the UC system think if they knew that in 2011 they were really into Minecraft parody songs? It would not do. It simply would not do!

What a blessing it was to be a typical teenager, growing up anonymously with books and music and a thoroughly mediocre tennis game.

 

Turmoil Beyond Reproach

Entertainment

My taste in movies and television swings like a pendulum. So does my taste in books, now that I think about it. I am happiest while consuming the most profound misery or cloying sentiment. Mentally unstable detective walks a path of self-destruction that threatens to destroy the tattered remains of her life? Don’t mind if I do! Super cute jock falls in love with the chubby nerd on a quest to lose her virginity? Saw it twice!

Right now, perhaps predictably, I am in what I like to call a phase of enchantment. I want jocks and nerds and proms and unrealistic happy endings. I want to float in a state of suspended reality and snark at the screen that “no way does that girl look like a junior in high school” and then rewind to my favorite parts. I want smoldering glances from across the room between members of polite society. I want John Thorton to look up and smile when he sees Margaret Hale in the train station.

I’m having a bit of trouble finding “enchanting” television. I’ve been enjoying watching fictional despair on TV for so long now that I don’t know how to find a proper romantic comedy or drama. I’m incapable of finding joy in life! This discovery is in line with my enneagram results, so at least I know I didn’t waste that $19.99.

Turmoil, on the other hand, is my specialty. I decided it would be convenient to post a list of my favorites here and update it regularly. I present to you my List of Turmoil Beyond Reproach. I am working on a List of Enchantments, but that will take time. Ronald Miller didn’t win over Cindi Mancini overnight.

List of Turmoil Beyond Reproach

(in alphabetical order)

I’ve linked to where you can watch when possible. Most Amazon links should be free if you have Prime. I haven’t paid to watch anything, and, aside from Prime, I don’t have any select subscriptions. Assume none of this is uplifting or family-friendly. You may recognize many of these if you have followed me online for more than a minute.

  • The Americans: This was another show my husband enjoyed. My husband is a big government action/thriller guy, whereas I am a more tortured detective gal.
  • Bodyguard: My husband enjoyed this more than I did, but I loved Richard Madden’s inscrutable countenance throughout.
  • The Bridge: Yes, it’s in Svenska. Yes, it’s worth reading the subtitles and I’ve written about it before. There is an American adaption set on the US/Mexico border, but it’s just okay.
  • Broadchurch: This series featured both David Tennant and Olivia Colman, so you know to expect complicated characters and outstanding performances. I don’t care if it’s a Cheetos commercial; I will watch anything with David Tennant or Olivia Colman (especially Oliva Colman).
  • Endeavor: slow to start, but I was eventually charmed by his mess of a life.
  • Father Brown: This is the closest to family-friendly you will get with this list. I watched it for free on Netflix, but it looks like it’s only available on Amazon with BritBox.
  • The Frankenstein Chronicles: Not going to lie, this got weird.
  • Good Omens: David Tennant. Mostly tween-friendly.
  • Grandchester: Not my favorite (think of it as an alcoholic Anglican Father Brown knock off), but Al Weaver kept me coming back.
  • Hell on Wheels: This is a Western, which isn’t usually my cup of tea, but Anson Mount is a strong character actor. The first few seasons are better than the last.
  • Hinterland: Once you accept Mali Harries’s suburban mom’s haircut, you’ll be fine.
  • Hunters: My husband enjoyed this more than I did. It has that Quentin Tarantino vibe he likes, and has me shrugging my shoulders.
  • Jack Taylor: Good if you’re in a pinch, but it’s nothing special.
  • The Killing: This is a classic and one of the first canceled series that Netflix picked up and made their own. It’s not available on Netflix anymore, but you can be alerted when it is or just watch it on Amazon.
  • Lucifer: Not dark! It’s quite goofy and ridiculous, but I Iove it and can’t wait until the final 5th season.
  • Luther: This series is exceptionally dark but very, very good. I would happily listen to Idris Elba recite tax code. Ruth Wilson is also excellent.
  • Manhunt: Unabomber: Great if you’re a fan of true crime and want to debate if Ted Kacynzski had a point.
  • Marcella: This female detective is an absolute disaster. Dark and satisfying. I’m waiting for the next season.
  • Mindhunter: It’s all the more disturbing because of the hints of truth. Cameron Britton, as Edmund Kemper, makes my skin crawl.
  • Narcos: My husband loved it.
  • Ozark: I have what I call a two-season curse. Sometimes I will enjoy a show until the second season and then be done with it. Ozark was like that for me. I’m trying to get back into it because I know so many people love this show.
  • Paranoid: Enjoyable, if not memorable.
  • Peaky Blinders: I picked this one out for my husband when it first came out, and he loved it. I suspect this show started the undercut hair trend.
  • River: It’s no longer available on Netflix, but it is on Amazon. Stellan Skarsgard is fantastic in this. The ending. Ugh.
  • Sherlock: The BBC show with Benedict Cumberbatch, which is outstanding, not the Robert Downey Jr. movie, which is not. Sherlock is one of my favorite shows of all time. I’ve watched the series twice, which I have never done before.
  • Shetland: This was on Netflix, but it looks like it’s only available via BritBox now.
  • The Suspicions of Mr. Witcher: Olivia Colman
  • The Umbrella Academy: I normally steer clear of superheroes, but this one I enjoyed.
  • Unforgotten: SO GOOD
  • Unorthodox: Do not ask me why I found Orthodox Yanky Shapiro (Amit Rahav) so sexy, but boy, I sure did. I’m not alone.
  • Wallander: Kenneth Branagh not doing Shakespeare or Star Wars! (I’m still not over his split with Emma Thompson)
  • Wind River: I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I forgot to add movies. Here’s one about a murder on a Native American reservation.
  • Zodiac: no longer available on Netflix, but check Hulu.

The Most Wonderful, Awful Thing

Books· Entertainment

I could say I woke up early to write this post before work but the truth is I was already up with food poisoning. We gave up all eating out for Lent this year. The Coronavirus pandemic shutting everything down three weeks later made this a fairly easy Lenten Sacrifice and when Easter arrived, we continued to eat from home. Then, one day I decided we should treat the boys with McDonald’s. They were so, so happy. Too happy for mediocre food that really doesn’t do anything for them other than provide calories. The following week I caved and got Miguel’s Jr. for dinner. Yesterday I agreed to donuts and pizza. Either my husband and I got food poisoning from the pizza or our digestive system waved a white flag all night long.

No matter. This allowed me to be up in time to see Stephenie Meyer is, indeed, releasing Midnight Sun. Meyer says the book will be “decidedly dark.” That hilarious statement, coupled with the cover I believe we are supposed to think is sexy, has me as excited as the boys were when presented with cheap fast food. There will be no nutritional value involved, and at one point there may be regret and pain, but I will savor every last morsel of this unexpected dessert set before me.

Two Scoops

Entertainment

As a diocesan employee, I am limited in what I can say or do online. Better stated, I self-censor because it’s the prudent thing to do. So, although I am an opinionated person by nature, I have resisted the temptation to comment on what is on everyone’s hearts and minds. My will is wavering. I want to jump into the fray with my own opinions and conspiracy theories. Unfortunately, I can’t. I’m a fact-driven person who relies on data, and I don’t have enough information to do anything more than speculate. I have no idea what the countdown clock on Stephenie Meyer’s website means.

Trust me when I say I have done my research. The links at the bottom of the website lead to the social media accounts of her production company, which suggests a movie announcement is on the horizon. A red herring if I ever saw one.

Meyer never did finish her Midnight Sun project, and all the Twilight books do have astronomically themed titles. Might we finally figure out what Edward saw in Bella?

No, I can’t comment without more information.

Perhaps it’s for the best that I keep my mouth shut. I’m still a diocesan employee, after all. And people don’t want my opinions, especially when there are already so many opinions being tossed around online. Even people who don’t work in arts and entertainment have views on this countdown clock. Everyone is an expert!

The other day a wellness blogger who gets paid in pili nuts said in her Instagram stories that she didn’t want to tell anyone what to believe, but she could point people to the truth when they were ready. I sent her a DM and told her that I, probably more than anyone, wanted an explanation to Edward’s attraction to Bella. Unfortunately, we’re in it for the long haul and need to wait until May 4th. She suggested a blend of lavender, frankincense, vetiver, lemon, and peppermint oil to reduce brain fog and promote mental clarity. She gave me her discount code, which was kind of her.

It’s definitely for the best that I keep my mouth shut. I don’t want to get fired for offensive behavior online. I don’t even want to get laid off due to the economy. I love my job and want to keep it, which is why I decided to make this a safe place for people to go when they want to go online but don’t want to speculate on Twilight.

I can be the most boring, plain vanilla blogger the internet has ever hosted. Think about your least favorite ice cream flavor. Does it not still do in a pinch? The answer is yes. I can post about sock drawers, what I ate for lunch, and the books everyone has already read. I’ll save the racy sourdough starter content for my Instagram stories since those only last 24 hours. You won’t believe the bubbles.

This is a great idea; nothing can go wrong.