It took 42 years, but I finally found a breakfast I can stomach that also keeps me satisfied until lunch.
I never drank coffee until I started working at the school. Even then, I didn’t drink coffee. I drank what my middle brother not-so-affectionately referred to as a Grande Frappuccino of Chemicals and Corporate Wealth, with Soy. (AKA: Salted Caramel Frappuccino.)
Then, over the summer in Lake Tahoe, I had a blended drink from Peet’s Coffee. I was, like, oh. This is why everyone says Starbuck’s is crap. I had no idea Starbuck’s uses coffee syrup in place of coffee in their drinks. Go ahead and laugh–the Mr. did. So did my brothers and Mikey, my son who isn’t even allowed to drink coffee. I know, ridiculous, but I wasn’t paying attention. I just figured it was coffee, soy milk, and chemicals blended up. Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault.
I knew I had to come up with something different when I cut out sugar a while back, and this smoothie is the result. Fair warning, this smoothie is not sweet! The only sugar comes from the banana and nut butter, so the dark, bitter coffee flavor plays a starring role. It also has a thin consistency. I only use one frozen banana so the texture is like a thick chocolate milk. If you’ve been waiting your whole life for a watery, bitter smoothie to have for breakfast, consider this your lucky day.
Coffee Nut Smoothie
1.5 cups milk (I alternate between unsweetened soy and almond)
0.5 cups cold brew coffee
1 frozen banana
1 TB nut butter (I alternate between Sun Butter and Justin’s Maple Almond Butter)
2 TB unsweetned cocoa powder
This makes almost 4 cups (!) of smoothie at around 300-400 calories, depending on the milk you use. Using almond milk gives you a slightly better nutritional profile for less calories, if you’re interested in that sort of thing. And, yes, I do use canning jars for my smoothies and have done so for 9 years–long before hipsters made it twee. The lid and straw are a recent and much welcome addition since driving to school with an open canning jar was a huge pain. Whatever you use, it has to be big enough to hold 4 cups.