I Get Around

This is a picture of Mikey’s reading and writing skills homework. I posted it a couple of weeks ago on my facebook fan page. We all agreed the aunt sounds like trouble.

He was so sweet about showing it to me. Actually, he seemed nervous and eager for my approval. He walked up to me and said, “Mom, I want you to read my short story and tell me if you think I did an awesome job.”

Done and done.

I post a lot of stuff like this on my fan page. I rarely talk about being on facebook, mainly because I absolutely abhor the phrase fan page. Every time I type it, speak it, or reference it, a Humility Fairy dies of suffocation under a pile of letterpressed business cards with neon accents. (Hand-painted, watercolor.)

Can we call it something else? Something catchy like, That Place Jules Uses to Post Really Random Thoughts. T.P.J.U.P.R.R.T. for short. And we won’t call you Fans or Followers (Gah.) because I can’t possibly describe anyone as either and still look at myself in the mirror. The people who like T.P.J.U.P.R.R.T. are just Really Good Listeners.

Because you have to be. A good listener, that is. Every week I get almost as many unlikes as I do likes on Facebook. With the exception of today’s post (have mercy) I tend to be more serious on the blog. I’m not sure why, and people who meet me in real life are often taken aback by my supreme dorktitude. It’s true, and maybe one day you’ll experience it yourself. In all honesty, my great hair is all that saves me from a lifetime of quizzical sidelong glances.

Sadly, I can’t post pictures of my hair with every post I publish on Facebook, so I get unlikes. On Facebook I’m more opinionated, more crude, more loud, and more willing to make fun of people in a public forum. That comes as a shock to people who like my facebook page expecting to read tips on how I organize sock drawers. (Roll them and separate them by color. Follow through for a week. Then lose hope.)

And so, I get unliked. A couple of weeks ago I might have kind of maybe a little bit made fun of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. That cost me a small percentage of my Really Good Listeners. In my defense, I couldn’t resist. I read an excerpt online and the female character cries out, “Argh!” during an intimate moment. Argh? Of all the onomatopoeias in the world, E. L. James picks Argh. I have never ecstatically cried ‘argh’ in my life. Not even on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Thus concludes my disclaimer. If you are at all easily offended, bored by proud mama moments, or wear an eye-patch and carry a parrot on your shoulder, maybe being a Really Good Listener isn’t for you. If not, please feel free to like T.P.J.U.P.R.R.T. today. I promise to give you absolutely nothing in return for your kindness, other than ammunition to use against me in a heated Twitter exchange.

Speaking of Twitter, you can follow me here and read the broad proclamations I present as truths.

I also take a lot of pictures of pets, food, plants, and shoes and then publish them on Instagram. I’m @pancakesfries. I’d link to something, but it’s doesn’t work that way. Instagram wants you to work your sausage fingers in a miniscule search field and then cry out in frustration.

And finally, when I’m in need of another s’more recipe, I troll Pinterest. I’m pancakesfries over there, too. Make sure to check out the book club board because new books are added every day.

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. I think that’s it. What can I say? I get around. Argh.

Comments
41 Responses to “I Get Around”
  1. Monica says:

    On what other blog could I ever learn about rolling socks, gold fish, the word onomatopoeia, and life? Let’s not forget the lesson about octopodes vs. octopuses. There is no other, none, zippo, zilch that I can think of. Even if someone else did write about these things I most likely wouldn’t read it. So there, or like. :)

  2. Oh my gosh – I can’t stop laughing, “not even on talk like a pirate day”. Classic. I’m with you all the way on “fans” and “followers” and what in the world do I call my blog Facebook page?! Speaking of which, I’m off to find you there. ;-)

    • Jules says:

      My husband and I now use “argh” on an almost daily basis. The other day I was dressed up and he said, “You look really nice. Argh.” Or when I see a pretty girl on a show I’ll ask him, “Does she make you want to argh?” Sometimes he’ll just walk up to me an argh in my ear.

  3. Rita says:

    I think I could only like you more if you are dorky, crude, loud, and opinionated. (All my best friends are. Real friends. In real life. You know what I mean.) Off to click the button that says I want to see the whole meal deal (though just the pancakes and french fries are pretty good!). :-)

  4. Susan G says:

    Onomatopoeia. One of my favorite words to say although I have just discovered I don’t really know how to spell it. All those o’s that seem they should be a’s. But argh???? Really????? I also have not read it, and probably will not. But have you seen Ellen D.’s video? She could make me laugh by reading the phone book, I think, and even without reading the books I laughed out loud at her.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on3JCwnwHbU

    And don’t you love the confidence and high expectations of kids? Mom, tell me if this is awesome. Not – tell me if this is OK. Tell me if this is acceptable. Tell me if you don’t hate this. All phrases I’ve been known to use. And yes Mikey – it is most definitely awesome!

  5. Amy says:

    Yeah, what in the world? Fans, followers . . . then we wonder why narcissism tends to run amok. Weird. Actually, the other day I mentioned Pinterest to my mom and whispered ‘follower’ . . . she didn’t hear me so I whispered it a bit louder. ‘I still didn’t hear you’ so I said it out loud. It didn’t go over–so then I had to spend the next several minutes explaining that I have not been placed upon a pedestal, with gold coins thrown at my feet . . . though, I must say, the gold coins would be awesome!

    FYI–it looks like Twitter is in my future (you’ll not be able to get rid of me then). Speaking of dorktitude–it’s going to be so sad to have 10 followers . . . most of whom will probably be family and friends I’ve paid a small stipend. Sigh.

  6. Jenn says:

    Ack. Can’t. Keep. Up. With. Social. Media. or A.C.K.U.W.S.M
    Followers is the one that gets me. It reminds me of a cult…. The Pancakes and French Fries Cult or is it The Cult of Pancakes and French Fries?

  7. Zakary says:

    “Every time I type it, speak it, or reference it a Humility Fairy dies of suffocation under a pile of letterpressed business cards with neon accents. (Hand-painted, watercolor.)”

    I just died laughing.

  8. You’re on Facebook?? Well sign me up! I’ll totally be a FAN! Dorky, crude and loud? Baby, don’t tease me! (sometimes I wish I could talk the way I really want to on my little children’s book bloggy. I feel like my real self comes out more in comments on other people’s blogs. But I worry might scare people. Bits and pieces of the weird come out though. I know it’s all going to come tumbling down like a house of cards soon…)

    Are you serious about the argh in Fifty Shade of Grey? HILARIOUS. I keep thinking I have to read this book just to see what all the fiddly dee dee is all about. I think it’s going to have me in stitches. Maybe I should review it on my Kid Lit blog? and watch all the mommies heads IMPLODE….

    • Jules says:

      Oh, the 50 Shades conversations we have had over there are some of my favorites. People are damn funny on facebook.

      p.s. I worry I might scare people, too! ;)

  9. Mandy says:

    ARGH!

    Oh. I feel so much more relaxed now. Oh yes. aaaaaaaaargh.

    Now I actually want to read Fifty Shades of Grey. Man.

  10. Kendra says:

    I can’t even begin to tell you how many times a week I honestly say Argh.

    I can tell you it’s not while being spanked.

  11. Kirsten says:

    bring it Jules! hilarious as always! watch out for the aunt with the six-shooter and keep on with the dorky wonders!!!

  12. Kirsten says:

    bring it Jules! hilarious as always (some days :))! watch out for the aunt with the six-shooter and keep on with the dorky wonders!!!

  13. Kathy says:

    I forced myself to read 50 Shades if only to see what the heck was going on. And it was horrible. I then found out it was originally a fan fic for Twilight which makes so much sense. Except, the writing is terrible. So awful, it read like a teenager read it.

    The fact that it actually talks about BDSM and sex and for some reason doesn’t seem to be in the erotica section is why it’s getting such press. I can think of a dozen more amazing erotica stories that actually have good writings.

    And yay Facebook fan page!

    • Jules says:

      Kathy, I had this exact conversation with someone the other day on FB. It’s not that I object to erotica. People can read whatever they want. It’s that people are reading bad erotica. Yes, I’ll probably break down eventually and read the books before the movies come out but, seriously, why do these books take off? There has to be a compelling storyline. That’s what I’ve been told, anyway.

      • Kathy says:

        Nope, not really a compelling storyline at all. It’s pathetic actually. Even worse than Twilight. At least in Twilight I kinda cared about the other characters (Bella and Edward could be thrown out of a window and I would have been fine….but I liked Alice and Carlisle and Esme and the rest of the Cullens…they were more dimensional to me.) but every other character in the story was so flat. The best friend was typical “zomg you are not safe” to magically being okay with everything after a betrayal. Her mom was worse than Bella’s. In fact, the most interesting character to me was the ex-sub that shows up. And even she was flat.

        So yeah, the storyline isn’t compelling and the writing isn’t even close to being good. Read it if only to know what everyone else is talking about. The good part is, they are short and such bad writing you can read them really fast!

  14. Sarah says:

    Mikey’s story left me wanting more, which is more than I can say for a lot of adult books. The kid has talent. I think I may be the only person left on the planet not on social media. But, Mikey’s writing has me tempted to join.

  15. Tiffany says:

    I can’t believe you haven’t read that book yet. The “argh” is definitely lame. How could someone unlike you for that?

    Mikey’s story is cute minus the six shooter (six shooter?) Is the Aunt Annie Oakley? Boobear told me a “spooky” story she made up the other day when we were having a pretend campfire. It literally ended with her being put in a cage by a witch. A feelgood story which we had to tweak a bit.

    • Jules says:

      Oh, they probably unliked me because I said that I refused to read it and got on my high horse. I’ll probably break down eventually, but I’ll bitch about it the whole time! ;) I got another unlike today, too. At least one!

  16. Shaina says:

    I read, “more opinionated, more crude, more loud, and more willing to make fun of people in a public forum” and instantly put a task in my head to go to FB and find your page. Then you linked it. Bam!

  17. Andrea Howe says:

    PS did you know you could “buy” Facebook likes? No? I didn’t know either! Apparently there’s services out there that you can pay for, where they have people in random countries all pool together to like your page and up your tally. Who the heck knew?!

    • Jules says:

      I didn’t know for sure, but I suspected. There are bloggers out there with HUGE FB likes. I’m not saying they paid for them…at least not the big bloggers…but I do know a lot of them make FB likes an additional step to win a giveaway, and that I won’t do.

      • Andrea Howe says:

        oh Jules, you sound so judgey when you say things like that ;) I always make it an optional entry. Those that want to, do, and they usually always stick around. Those that don’t, don’t. I figure I’m the one that has worked on the partnership to bring them the opportunity to win something, I might as well receive some benefit as well. FB likes is not something readers always think of doing, but it is important. I get a lot of referring traffic from my FB page so the way I see it, every extra like counts :)

        • Jules says:

          Hah! I’m not being judgy. I’m just following the letter of the law. ;) I would love to give people a reason to like me on FB.

  18. Kasia says:

    I so say Argh! But usually when we are being pirates and that is when I have the parrot on the shoulder and a patch. thank you very much. I agree with your 50 shades opinion, have not read it but I refuse to be a sheep. baaa

  19. Karrie says:

    Well, I rushed over and liked you. I was curious about Fifty Shades until I read the reviews on Amazon. I think I spent an hour reading them because I was so entertained. Now, I’ll be reading the fb convo you had that cost you “likes”. I broke down and read a sample on Kindle and I have to say the bit I read didn’t compel me to keep reading.

Leave A Comment

Hi! I’m Jules.

I used to be an attorney, but it made me grumpy. Now I write about life, sweet and savory, as a wife and mother to two small boys. My knowledge of dinosaurs knows no bounds.

You can read more, including the meaning behind the name Pancakes and French Fries here. And, yes, I really am phenomenally indecisive.