Summer is winding down. The boys wore sunscreen SPF 3000 all summer long but they still ended up brown like coconuts. I guess they have their mama’s Spanish/Italian skin, huh?
Monday
It was our first day back from Lake Tahoe, and it’s always great to be home. I like that when we get back our kitchen feels enormous after working in the teeny-tiny one in Tahoe. Our kitchen is far from enormous, by the way.
Tuesday
I had a really bad headache for a couple of days there, and I was so glad the Mister was still on vacation. I got to sleep most of the day and he picked up Miguel’s Jr. for dinner.
Wednesday
I accepted the library position, and you all sure do know how to make a girl feel good about a scary decision. Thanks for the vote of confidence, which you will promptly regret come November after my 412th post on the Dewey Decimal system, picture books, and DIY hand sanitizer dispensers.
Thursday
Our goal for this summer was to get Nico water safe. He is, so now our goal is to get him ready for swim team so he can join Mikey. Since Mikey hasn’t swam in a year, we put them both in a two week block of lessons. They both love it, and I love the idea of spending this fall at one practice at one location at one time.
For now, Mikey and Nico wear jammers. Mikey already told me it would take a firing squad to get him into briefs. From what I’ve heard from swim moms, the older the boy and the more competitive the swimmer, the more likely they are to wear briefs/Speedos.
They aren’t kidding. Mikey and Nico practice at a college, and this week water polo players and divers practiced in the same pool. Awkward. So very, very awkward. These are collegiate level athletes. We’re not talking doughy, pasty, out of shape middle-aged men on the Riviera wearing gold chains that get tangled in their chest pelts. These man-boys are extremely fit, bronze from the sun, and next to naked.
The other day the senior water polo boys had to finish their practice early, which meant they had to exit the pool while I sat there like a stunned, prudish deer. They surfaced like selkies from the sea and I’m surprised they didn’t do it with Poison playing in the background.
These guys are so accustomed to walking around nearly naked they don’t realize they are nearly naked. Two things occurred to me in that moment. One, I am absolutely not gay. Two, so this is what it feels like to be Donald Trump at a Miss America contest. As soon as I thought the 1st and blanched at the 2nd, I grabbed my phone and pretended to work on something that needed my immediate attention. Ordering myself a hormone panel, for starters.
[sidebar: am I the only one who thinks the beach/swimming pool is a strange concept? You are, essentially, in your bra and underwear in front of strangers, but if a stranger were to burst into your dressing room while changing at store, you’d reach to cover yourself, right? I thought about this in Lake Tahoe. Maybe I have a little Mennonite in me. Must research family tree!]
Friday
I’m loading up the Netflix que. I’ve already received some good recommendations–The White Queen looks promising.
The Weekend
I start at the library on Monday, so I’ll be researching management software and fun stuff (decor! read aloud books!) all weekend. Wish me luck.
Have a happy, happy weekend everyone.
Amy says
HA! Poison . . . that’s awesome . . .
Since you’ll be researching over the weekend, I know it will be fabulous. Speaking of which, have you seen the children’s library prints on Etsy? Entirely too much fun.
Jules says
What? No, I haven’t! I’ll check them out. I’m working my way into asking them if I can paint over the murals. They aren’t great.
Jill says
I’m fighting back tears from laughter! Chest pelts! Man-boys! Selkies! I felt like I was there with you, and that’s why I love your writing. I look forward to reading about DIY hand sanitizer dispensers! Ha. Welcome back!
Jules says
Haha. Thanks! Don’t say I didn’t warn you… :)
vginiafille says
hormone panel clearly not needed…..
I am highly amused and vaguely envious. I will remember this post along with the laundry recycling pile, which has one of the best one-liners I’ve ever read.
Jules says
The laundry recycling pile! It is still in active use, I’ll have you know.
stellastarlite says
Bon chance! I checked out Hell on Wheels last night; looks like it’s already season 2. Such an interesting story about Olive and the chin tattoo! Will be passing that info along.
Jules says
Season 3! I can’t wait for you to catch up. We can gasp together.
Marla says
Since I left the IE for Santa Fe (land o’ the chile), I can honestly say one of the things I miss most is the Miguel’s Jr. run. Nothing like some nachos with chile verde after a long day and commute! And I love me some Poison!
Jules says
My favorites are the tacos (they’re Mikey’s, too–he never has anything different) and the shredded beef burrito with ONLY beef. No cheese, sauce, rice, beans–nothing. Then I order 2 sauces on the side and apply it myself bite by bite. I’m like Sally from When Harry Met Sally.
Susan G says
OMG. :) :) :)
Jules says
That was my response, except my emoticon was O_O
Shaina says
So basically, the undertone I’m picking up on here … is that Thursday was the BEST DAY EVER! amiright? LOL
Jules says
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Fairfax Avenue says
School starts Wednesday and I’m heading into the library too – but only one or two afternoons a week. I’m not in charge. I’m the shelf monitor. I remember doing this in fifth or sixth grade once or twice a week, also as a volunteer. The hardest part is wanting to sit down and read the books.
Jules says
Yes, that was the problem I had when I volunteered two years ago, and also when I cleaned and organized it last year!
Phaedra says
I knew exactly what was coming as soon as I got to ”the older the boy ,and the more competitive the swimmer, the more likely they are to wear briefs/Speedos” Just enjoy that sweet moment. Not everyone has these gifts of scenery bestowed upon them. I agree with Shaina above, Best Day Ever, right? ;)
White Queen does look promising as I’ve read the Cousins War books by Phillipa Gregory (and wait, didn’t I just mention that here about the rising of the Tudor line being something I didn’t know about until reading that series & the Red Queen? anyway.. I digress) so the show is on my radar.
I can’t wait for you to start talking Library on us! It’s gonna be great! Hand sanitizer and all.
Jules says
I need to do some research on all this King/Queen business. I’m utterly lost! I had no idea the Tudor line rose from anywhere aside from normal succession.
Phaedra says
I’m sure by now you’ve researched this, but they were not in the direct line as the Lancaster York families were, but were, instead, an offshoot of the Lancaster line in the Welsh/Wales realm of titles & they forced themselves in front of the Lancaster heirs on the heels of the War of the Roses.
Heather P. says
Don’t worry – once the boys get onto a swim team and realize everyone else is wearing briefs, they’ll hop on board.
Good luck with those polo guys, though – I will warn you, many of them are very nice and will try to hug you. I used to swim laps at the university I work for, but after having a few of my students (yep…water polo guys) come up to me and try to group hug me, I stopped going swimming there for the rest of my life. Not only am I not gay, as it turns out, I’m also not one of those teachers who wants everyone thinking she sleeps with her students. Go figure…haha!
Have a great weekend!
Jules says
Group hug! The heat from my red face would melt the Speedos off them, which would present another set of problems. I’m not going back there without an ipad, book, phone, and Bible.
Jeen-Marie says
… and Bible!
Ha! That made me laugh!
Shannon says
You are the BEST! I was thinking the same thing last night at the girls swim lessons. Some college lads came in to do laps and if I were Catholic, I’d need to hit the confessional ASAP! :D
Jules says
Haha! I’d go to confession, but if this is wrong I don’t want to be right! Kidding, kidding…
(Seriously, I’m kidding!)
Rita@thissortaoldlife says
I was a cheerleader in high school, and at our school we had cheerleaders at every sporting event–including swim meets. Still remember how we saw more than a few boys in an entirely different light, thanks to those Speedos!
Our school district uses Follet’s Destiny software, which was the management system recommended when I was taking my library classes (now a few years back). That’s the one I’ll be learning. http://www.follettsoftware.com/library-automation-software
Jules says
Someone else recommended this one, and I think it’s the one I’m going to ask for. It seems great, especially the ebook component since our catalog is so small and old.
Monica says
Germans love their Speedos and unfortunately it has nothing to do with being on the swim team. I will never forget the day our neighbor was in his Speedos watering the front lawn. I am no prude, but there are some things I just don’t need to see. The water polo team on the other hand… :) Have a great weekend!
Monica says
Great Anna just tweeted that it is Apostrophe Day and for some reason auto-correct changed somethings to something’s and on top of that I should probably have written some things. Duh.
Jules says
1. I edited it for you. ;)
2. Don’t feel bad. Earlier I had “dear” instead of “deer” and didn’t notice it until a reader pointed it out. I hate homophones. I really, really do.
Monica says
Thanks!
raeann says
*snort* my sister was on a swim team from 5 years old, all the way into college. let me tell you – going to her swim meets and national events made me feel a little naughty. it’s like a car wreck – how can you look away? there’s almost nothing left (hee hee) to the imagination.
i think i need a cold shower now.
Andrea Howe says
Thursday sounds all sorts of awesome (and awkward), but mainly awesome. Take me with you next time ;)
Lisa says
My oldest has been taking swim lessons this summer, and his swim time is at the same time as the diving team’s practice. I will a) ditto your thoughts, which made me laugh and nod knowingly with a feeling of similar embarrassment, and b) note that a few of the girls on this particular diving team wear long sleeve swim shirts with TANGA BIKINI BOTTOMS. (If you’ve never seen a tanga bikini bottom, it is wider than a thong but much much narrower than a regular bikini bottom.) I appreciate the top coverage but don’t understand the lack of bottom coverage. I feel prudish when I look at someone and the only word that enters my mind is “cleft” (and the phrase “does your mother know you are wearing that?).
Kate says
You are far more dignified and respectful than me. I wouldn’t just feel like Donald Trump, I’d ogle like him too. The older I get the more I have in common with dirty old men. With the sexes reversed, obviously
Katherine says
Totally with you on the bathing suit/underwear thing. It doesn’t entirely make sense.
Amy says
Holy cow, I’m crying from this post…and the comments. Taking a Bible with you – love it! Your blog is the first I read. No pressure, I just really enjoy it. You’re thoughtful, and hilarious. Epic win. Oh Speedo guys. Where’s the Summer Olympics when you need them?
Lianne says
Had to laugh at the speedo boys – I’m married to a swim coach.
Also put me in mind of this video – just one scene related to your post, but if you haven’t seen this yet- it’s funny enough to watch the whole thing:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/f03d464867/total-eclipse-of-the-heart-literal-video-version-original
Anne says
Okay I’m late to the comment train but have had this page up for a while to leave one (can’t do so very well on my phone for whatever reason, where I always read!)
My son is six and built like a swimmer. He looks adorable in his new jammers and I can’t get enough of them. But this post really took me back to high school and college, when I worked for a swim store and would sell at the meets. The swimmers would come over in packs and rifle through the bins looking for goggles or grab bag suits or whatever and it was seriously kind of indecent. And great. And embarrassing. It’s just not the same as the 6 year olds trotting around in their cute little tight suits!