I’ve been feeling poorly for months. Not ill, really, just off. Tired, moody, grumpy. It first started getting out of hand in the fall when the time changed, and for the first time I empathized with those who suffer from seasonal affect disorder. I found the early darkness oppressive.
Then the holidays came, and with it the usual stresses that shouldn’t be stresses. It took me a while to recover, but I kept going. I made plans to make this year the year I took better care of myself. I committed myself to a healthy meal plan. I started playing tennis again. I made big plans for the blog. I promised to go to the doctor for a routine check up.
But even with all that, I still had days where I couldn’t pull it together. I could never get on board with happy, and I started to feel like I was always yelling. I pulled it together for the big birthday party, but that left me exhausted for weeks. I joked that maybe I was the one turning 40 since I was so sore and sick after a simple party. In the back of my mind, I started to worry. Am I really that old? Why do my muscles and bones hurt? Sure, not a lot, but my muscles weaken long before I get winded when I do physical activity. My hips hurt for days after I play tennis, and sometimes for no reason at all. There are nights where I can’t fall asleep from the pain, and the Mister has to rub me down to work out the knots in my muscles.
Then, one night it hit me. It’s because I’m fat.
I’ve been overweight for ten years and suddenly, it was no longer about vanity. I panicked and started obsessing about pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, and stroke. I finally made my appointment, got my slip for lab work, and prayed. Really, really prayed that I didn’t screw things up for my family.
On Monday I got my results. No pre-diabetes. In fact, my A1c came back with a reduced risk for diabetes. My cholesterol was within normal range. Could be lower, but by no more than 10 points. My blood pressure was 103/70, and my heart rate 85. The tennis is paying off. Every single thing I worried about turned out to be for naught. I’m healthy as a horse!
Except for my vitamin D levels. Those are severely, record breaking, eyebrows shooting up into the doctor’s hairline, low. Basically, I have vitamin D deficiency and I’m lucky I don’t have osteomalacia. Having said that, it’s not a big(ish) deal, there are far many people with greater and more legitimate problems and, for the love of God, do not feel sorry for me or think that I am lying in a heap in the corner gently crying into cupped hands. There are only two reasons why I am publishing this post.
1. Consider me your cautionary tale.
My levels took months, maybe even years, to get that low. It didn’t happen overnight, but if I didn’t brush off every symptom I had, I may not have trouble walking after mild exercise or wearing heels for a few hours. The problem, and this is why I am writing this, is that every symptom can be attributed to LIFE.
- Muscle pain
- Weak bones/fractures
- Low energy and fatigue (mental and physical)
- Lowered immunity
- Symptoms of depression and mood swings
- Sleep irregularities.
Okay, maybe the muscle pain is a stretch, but I’m not the most active person in the world. Looking back, it seems obvious. When we went on that hike back in December, I joked that my muscles gave out long before my lungs did. That whole post makes me cringe with hindsight.
But every other symptom was easy to brush off. I an older mom to two young boys. Of course I’m tired! We’ve had a terrible cold and flu season. Of course I keep getting sick! There is just too much on my plate. Of course I can’t seem to write anymore and keep making bizarre typos or forget important obligations! I feel down and moody. Again, two young boys! Everything was ridiculously easy to sweep under the carpet. Don’t do that. If you’re feeling off, don’t blame your life and go to the doctor. I’ll tell you why.
2. I’m going to be taking it easy and blogging less.
Because my levels are as low as they are, I am taking more than five times the amount of vitamin D that you get in your standard multi-vitamin for the next three months (at least). That, coupled with regular vitamins and fish oils means that I am nauseous. Going to the doctor sucks, but taking horse pills and having day long nausea sucks more.
Also, I’m in pain. Not a lot of pain, but I just finished playing tennis and by the time I got home I had to limp to get in the house. I wore heels yesterday (the comfy ones I am wearing in the picture in the left sidebar) and after a few hours my legs hurt–really hurt– from the balls of my feet to my hips. The Mister wanted to rub my muscles out last night but I was too embarrassed and told him it wasn’t that big a deal.
Why am I now in pain? The best way to describe it is like this: the pain has been there for months, but it’s a lot like laying in bed at 8am with the covers over your head. You don’t want it to be light out, so you ignore it. But when someone pulls the covers away, you can’t deny the sun. Once the doctor looked at my levels and then at me and said, “You mean to tell me you haven’t been feeling any muscle or bone pain lately?” I could feel every twinge and ping I’ve been so effectively ignoring for months. And each bit of pain feels like a swift kick in the butt. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I was really stupid to let it go on for as long as I did.
But! Hey! In a way it’s good news, right? Honestly, I’m thrilled. I’m thrilled to know that this down and out personality isn’t the new me, and that soon I will have energy to do things like cook from my Do�a Petrona cookbook and read from my Unread Library. I just need to lay low, relax, read some shoddy books, and take this for what it is: a blessing.
Now go make a doctor’s appointment.
That’s awful! I’m glad it’s treatable. Your next hike will be so much easier!
It took two years for a doctor to discover that a tumor in my neck was causing all of my kidney problems, nausea, fatigue, thin hair, moodiness, and joint pain. I agree. Go to the doctor and don’t leave until someone takes you seriously–one doc tried to prescribe antidepressants he was so sure I was making up my symptoms. How do you make up thinning hair?!!!
I hope you get to feeling better. We are too young to be ill. We have kids to take care of!
And you can’t mention on twitter the thing about getting rid of ads and the copywriting biz stuff and then not have a place on your blog for us to read about it! Didn’t you used to have that information somewhere or am I missing it?
I thank my lucky stars that my doctor ordered a vitamin panel. Even though I heard of all the vitamin D problems in the news, I really thought it was irrelevant to me since I live in southern CA. I would have NEVER thought vitamin deficiency. Fibromyalgia, maybe. But not this.
I did have it up, but I took it down. I get weird about stuff like that. I don’t like to feel like I am pimping. People will email me for help with writing and I almost always say yes. :)
Take care of yourself. You are a lovely writer and I truly enjoy reading your posts, but completely understand if you need to go “dark” for a while.
I read an article in one of the 1732 parenting mags I read about how vitamin D deficiency is huge in the kid population these days. It’s scary stuff.
Uggh! You don’t have to tell me that all day nausea is awful. Stay in the shower or asleep as much as possible, and I hope it clears soon!
Feel better soon!
Oh, Jules! Yay to being healthy in every other way! But so sorry that you’re in such pain now. Take your time and rest and heal.
And thank you for the reminder. After looking at my bloodwork last year, my doc told me to start taking vitamin D and I bought a bottle and here it sits, at my desk. I almost never remember to take it and I always shrug it off (I never take vitamins! I don’t need vitamins!). I vow to take them. Starting now.
I am SO glad that you found out what was going on. I hope soon that it will get better quickly and the pain will lesson soon!
<3
This is one of those crazy moments when you’re happy for someone, even when things suck. I’m glad your doctor was able to figure things out! And that you are caring for yourself!
Rest well…because we need you back ASAP.
That’s so interesting you were diagnosed with Vitamin D deficiency. My mom was just diagnosed with it a few weeks ago. Last year, all of her blood work was just fine, then in a years time, she is in single digits of vitamin D. This is a reminder for all of us to get outside! I always felt great when I lived in Florida and was outside at least an hour a day (usually much, much more, but I would take “smoke” breaks with my co-workers–I didn’t smoke but liked the 15 minutes to stand in the sun–plus I would often time spend my lunch hour outside). Now I live in TN and winter is so dreary, plus I hate the cold so I’m always in a winter funk that takes a while to get out of. I 100% believe it’s all related to sunshine.
I hope you feel better soon!
Well, I’m glad to know that it took only a year (sounds like your mom and I are in the same boat, too). I’ve been sitting here since Monday worrying that this has been going on for years and I’ve been doing all sorts of irreparable damage.
It’s absolutely related to sunshine. Vitamin D is available in very few foods in high quantities. Really, your best bet is 15 minutes a day in the sun or supplementation. My doctor says I can’t just sit in the sun since I’m too low to bring it back where it needs to be fast. In three months I should be good. Just in time for summer! :)
This is so funny. Well, I guess “funny” may not be the right word, but I just discovered that my vitamin D level was low.
I’ve been taking vitamin D pills for the past few weeks and I’m just now starting to feel better.I thought maybe the doctor was wrong, but about 3 weeks into the treatment I definitely felt the difference. I’m not back to my old self, but on my way.
I have two boys also and I can understand why you let it go for a while. I would sometimes complain about it, but those who heard me would attribute my fatigue and soreness to being a working mom. Even my doctor was skeptical and asked me if I was depressed, anxious, worried…
I’m glad you found out what was causing it. I hope you feel better soon!
PS: in case you want to read my post about the discovery a few weeks back, it’s at
http://onalearningjourney.blogspot.com/2011/03/are-you-tired-mom.html
I think raising awareness about it can avoid other moms letting it go so far!
I just left a comment on your blog. :)
I am so bummed to hear it’s taken almost a month to feel a difference, but that’s in line with what I have heard–several weeks to see a change, 6 months to get completely back to normal if you are severely deficient. Oh, well. In the grand scheme of things, that’s not a long time, and it will be worth it. I just hope I’m not nauseous that whole time!
I’m glad you finally have an answer – it’s always the little things we don’t think about. I was sick for almost two years with fatigue, all sorts of heart problems and I almost had a blood clot, and it turned out to all be connected to a Vitamin B12 deficiency! Since going on supplements, everything is better – so here’s to you getting your health back!
Oh my goodness! Well, I’m glad that it’s something relatively treatable and unserious, and that it’s not just you getting old! Congratulations on your otherwise excellent health, by the way. :-) Take it easy and feel better soon!
That is so strange. I went to get a full physical about a month ago and I too am healthy except for my vitamin D levels. Not as bad as yours, but I have to take a vitamin D pill once a week and then go back to check my levels. Maybe I’ll start tanning again (Hah!)
At least you have the information now… I hope it feels better soon. Who could guess that diagnosis? Don’t beat yourself up with hindsight.
I do feel your pain though- had my first mammogram last month. Insert a big eye roll here- that made me feel old, and squished, lol.
Take care and never refuse another muscle rub from your man again!
Vitamin D is a sneaky bast … fellow. Don’t beat yourself up about it–for one thing, it will take too much energy. Seriously though–who would know? Unless you happen to edit a book that deals with that very thing … or, you know, cave and go to the doctor.
Now, go kick back … laugh with your boys … lounge in the sun (I’m hoping one of us has sun) … read a good book … watch daytime television … eat a bon-bon or two … and feel better soon!
Such a timely post for me today, since my husband and I were just talking last night about how I NEED to have a check up and must make an appointment today.
Hope the vitamins works and you start to feel better soon.
I think you may have just diagnosed me. But seriously, you did prompt me to get off my duff and make an appointment for a check-up. And I’m going to be honest and not say that everything is peachy keen. Thank you…
Of course I must be selfish and say I’ll be sad not to see you posting as often, because your blog is often the highlight of my (work) week. :)
But I’m glad you know what’s wrong, that you are taking steps to fix it, and that you are going to get the rest and recovery time you need. I will be praying for you, Jules, and I hope you are feeling spry and chipper soon!
I had a similar experience with Thyroid disease about 15 years ago – I had lost a lot of weight which made me happy, but felt so horrible in every other way that I didn’t even mind the weight coming back. Like you, I found it a huge relief to know that my personality hadn’t changed, and that I wasn’t aging early or imagining symptoms. In my experience, the 18 months that encompassed progressively feeling worse to knowing what was wrong to being better felt like a finished chapter within a year. I wish you the same happy result.
In the meantime, I recommend reading True Grit and Ella Minnow Pea.
This post is exactly what I needed to hear today. Won’t bore you with the details, but I’m in the same boat you are. Was told to take 5000 IU’s of Vit. D daily, but my know-it-all friend said that was too much to start taking at once as it was a hormone. I listened to him, like a dummy, and still feel like crap. Have decided to stick with what the doctor said!! Here’s my question-do you do straight Vitamin D or do you do D-3? I’m using D-3 but am starting to wonder if it’s the wrong thing.
It probably is too much to take at once…for someone who has normal levels. We don’t, so, hello 5,000 IUs! My bottle says D3-5, and the ingredients listed says Cholecalciferol. Good luck! A reader up above said it took her 3 weeks before she noticed a difference, but it was worth it.
You have inspired me to call the doctor, make an appt. and get blood work! I am so happy that you have an answer to your symptoms! You will feel better soon and hopefully me too!
Thanks, Steph! :)
Oh my gosh!!! I had no idea (like you would email a complete stranger).. :) Although I am completely horrified that this is going on, at the same time very happy that you have a diagnosis and there’s an easy (but not palatable) fix. I wish you all the best, and a speedy recovery.
I’m off to have my Vit D checked manana… I think I qualify for every symptom you mentioned. Results to come.
Brandi
Hey Jules…now I wonder if that’s part of my problem!? But I don’t like the sound of the “fix” and I don’t have insurance to go to the dr just for the heck of it. Bah. Hope you feel better soon! Muah!
Well, don’t assume you’re rock bottom like me. You could be low, but not deficient, which means you wouldn’t have to take anywhere close to what I am taking. Besides, I’m sensitive to vitamins; they always make me sick. I would call you doctor and ask how much a panel would cost. You never know, it may surprise you.
I hope you feel better very soon! Vitamin D supplements, been there, done that. I was on them for 6 weeks and they were tiny blue gelcaps, not horse pills. I guess you’re probably a little more off the deep end than I was. Still enjoying your blog! -K
Mine were tiny little capsules, with horse pill vitamins. I’m actually off the vitamin D right now due to an absorption issue. I was so horribly sick from the vitamin D! Right now I’m repairing the absorption issue and, hopefully, as I do that the vitamin D issue will resolve itself naturally. :)
Thank you for sharing your story with us; it has prompted me to ask for a vitamin panel next check up.
I suffer from SAD every winter (self diagnosed), but have never done anything about it, figuring summer and sun will be here soon. Of course, many times you don’t realize how bad something is until you come out of it, so now that it is warm and sunny and I realize just how tired and depressed and apathetic I was. I’m excited to try vit. D supplements next winter (in the summer SAD goes completely away; I’m outdoors in the sun alot).
Can I ask how your levels got so low? I assume you got SOME sun here and there? I just wonder if I should/could be doing something differently. Thanks!
I’m curious about your Vitamin D deficiency, especially because I, too, am fat. I’m younger though, and realized that if I don’t sort this crap out soon, I probably never will, so I went to the doctor expecting the worst. I actually mentally prepared myself for the diabetes talk. My tests results came back almost the exact same as yours – as healthy as I possibly can be (given that I’m still fat) but with a Vitamin D deficiency. How odd…
There is actually a connection. Overweight people can’t absorb vitamin D very well or people who are deficient in vitamin D become overweight. There is debate over which comes first, so it’s a chicken/egg argument. Plenty of studies do show an association between obesity and vitamin D deficiencies. It’s very interesting, actually. My problem now is that I can’t tolerate the vitamin D. I have a few theories on that and WHY I am deficient. Debating writing about it, but don’t want to get all obsessed with a topic and bore people to tears.
reading this entry made me completely feel for you. this past monday i found out that i’m gluten intolerant and have a slight vitamin D deficiency. while that’s not terrible news, it still changed my life. i’d love to hear more about the vitamin D/overwight debate! you wouldn’t bore me AT ALL!
Great post. I too recently found out I have a severe vitamin D deficiency. I just finished taking 50,000 IUs of vitamin D per week for the last 12 weeks. I’m only now starting to feel better. I live in So. Indiana and we are just now getting longer days (I suffer from SAD), so I think that’s helping too. I’m trying to sit outside and soak up some D as well. Also…I’m overweight and am struggling with weight loss. Since being on prescription vitamin D, I’ve lost a few pounds without really trying. The correlation between obesity and vitamin D deficiency is intriguing. I’d be interested in hearing what you find out. Feel better.