As promised, on Sunday we spent the day boring Mikey at Universal Studios. Well, really, it wasn’t about him. My parents were entertaining my aunt and cousin who are visiting from Argentina and invited us to tag along. The fact Mikey was bored and complied with one of the few New Year’s resolutions we haven’t already chucked in the trash like old chicken was pure happenstance. And, maybe he wasn’t bored so much as he was terrified to the core.
Did I mention Mikey is at equal turns obsessed and and horrified by zombies and vampires? He talks about them nonstop, especially at bedtime, asking about how they came to be, what is their purpose, how strong they are, and how someone, say, a five year old boy, could destroy them if said boy were to find one in his bedroom at night. Hypothetically. I told him that when dealing with the undead, your best bets are daylight and God. I went to check on him later and found him asleep with his head completely buried under the covers, clutching his baby blue cross and wearing a crucifix my mom bought for me in Cancun.
Knowing this, you can imagine the reception Beetle Juice, a zombie, received. It took over four hours for the color to return to Mikey’s lips, which is when we found the life-size great white shark.
The Jurassic Park ride was closed. The Jurassic Park themed gift store was wide open.
Things settled down a bit once we got on the guided tour of the park. The bus tour lasted about 45 minutes and, really, was enlightening. Lots of fun special effects and interesting trivia.
Were it not for the tour, I would have never known that Gabriella’s house on Desperate Housewives is Conchita Banana yellow. The rest of the houses on set are sedate, feminine numbers painted buttercup, lilac, and respectable greige. The only way ABC could have better communicated the message that a “Latina Stereotype Lives Here” would be if they left a trail of empty tamale husks leading to the door.
This is a real plane, destroyed to bits. It was actually a bit unnerving, especially with the smoke and smell of gasoline. Tom Cruise fans might recognize this set from War of the Worlds.
Cars bursting into flames, earthquakes, Jaws, spitting beetles from Egypt, The set from How the Grinch Stole Christmas–it was little boy heaven concocted by big boys with incredible imaginations and bank accounts to match. It was fun.
Then we did the shows. We watched Orangutans dance and then pet the chickens.
Almost lost Nicholas to a rogue band of furries.
Saw a loud and somewhat alarming Terminator show (computers will one day come to life and kill us, just so you know) that electrified Mikey and scared Nicholas so badly, all he could do was point and whimper. Also, 25,000 blogger points go to me for posting a picture that accentuates my back fat, flies in the face of double chin elimination, and makes me look like I have kielbasa arms.
Then the boys went for a ride, Mikey worked on his form, and The Mister met Flat Damon, which he took very seriously. All in all, an exceptionally boring day.