First Day of School, 2015-2016



Horrible, blurry cell phone pictures taken by a farsighted + nearsighted woman at 6:30am. I’m happy they even exist. One of these days I’m going to buy a simple point and shoot.

These signs. I don’t know where I came up with the idea because I did this on Mikey’s first day of pre-school. We’re talking pre-blogging, pre-pinterest, and pre-social media if you can remember that far back! I had this great ideato document on the first day of each school year what Mikey and his future siblings wanted to be when they grew up. It was going to be great, decades later, to see what they wanted to be in 1st grade versus 3rd grade versus 6th grade.

Fireman! Police officer! Doctor! Teacher! Paleontologist.





Every darnyear since pre-kindergarten. I can’t get Mikey to change his mind! I try to switch up my questions, like a detective trying to trap a suspect.

“Hey, Mikey, don’t you want to do something with music?”


“Ok, what do you want to be when you grow up this year? You know, it’s okay to change your mind.”

“I know.”

I joked on my personal face book page that after all this, he’ll end up a high school PE teacher.

“With a buzz cut,” my friend Kendra replied.

School-1Because Nico has a buzz cut and it’s awful. He went to the barber shop without me, clearly. He came home like a freshly shorn sheep and it was all I could do to keep from recoiling in horror. All he needs is a banjo, shifty eyes, and a wayward gene or two to complete the backwoods picture. Horrible. I hate it. No one likes it except Nico, and he doesn’t like it. He loves it.

Every morning he wakes up and says, “Do I still have my awesome buzz cut?”

Yes, dammit.

“Mom, this buzz cut! I don’t have to brush my hair, or dry my hair, or do anything except feel my awesome buzz cut!”

Oh, don’t I know it!

Nico’s hair is a tragedy, but at least he takes career waffling seriously like a true American should. He’s wanted to be an astronaut, a paleontologist, and now a zoologist. My favorite, though, had to be last year. He had me write “undecided.”

College will be interesting.

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  1. I laughed out loud at Nico’s “undecided.” I love Nico stories.

    Last week I paid my 10 yr old $50 to shave the mop off his head. (An offer I’ve made multiple times in the past three years, but was only accepted last week.)

  2. “All he needs is a banjo, shifty eyes, and a wayward gene or two to complete the backwoods picture.”

    I love your blog and have been lurking quietly for years, but I must admit this left a bad taste in my mouth. Must we perpetuate the idea that everyone who lives out in the country is inbred and untrustworthy? Sorry, as a Ph.D-educated scientist from Appalachia, it just bugs me. Food for thought.

    I think the buzz cut is adorable on Nico. 🙂

    • Aaaand I have immediate anxiety after commenting. I know you just meant it as a joke and I’m probably being super-uptight. It’s just one of those things that is a pet peeve. 🙂

    • I’m so glad you commented. I would hate to offend anyone without the opportunity to turn around and apologize. And let’s face it–with my humor, I’m probably offended people all day long. I’m sorry for what I wrote.

      I debated it as I wrote it, and I should have listened to my gut. My joke wasn’t directed at a stereotype but rather that kid in Deliverance. This is, admittedly, a totally lame argument since the kid in Deliverance probably encouraged the stereotype. Mea culpa, totally.

      I’m leaving it in the post because hiding my goof is dumb. Hopefully anyone else who finds the joke in poor taste reads this comment.

      I do have to disagree with you on one thing. Nico’s buzz cut is awful. Just awful.

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