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Pancakes & French Fries

Day 102-108 of walking

Jumble· Mind + Body

18 Apr

To be clear, buffet etiquette exists. There may even be Buffet Etiquette, but I’m not sure. I do know that when you eat at a buffet, there are certain things you must do to avoid the baleful glare of the rest of us who are not animals.

The wise person goes into holiday buffeting with honesty. If you are at a club buffet on a holiday, you share common goals with everyone else in attendance. You are there to eat without cooking; admire without cleaning; and keep children happy without having to provide the entertainment. These goals are established and true. Do not kid yourself! This is not Downton Abbey or East Egg.

The wise person also goes into holiday buffeting with patience. Wise people will encounter those who like to hover over chafing dishes and debate whether it is potato or squash casserole (“It definitely has cheese…”) and then take all the shrimp.

The wise person also goes into holiday buffeting with charity. Some people really like tomatoes in their salad! Allow them to take all the tomatoes out of the bowl of mixed salad and leave behind crushed lettuce. They need the tomatoes more than the wise person.

I am not a wise person.

Nor am I a patient person.

Or a particularly charitable person.

Come to think of it, maybe I am not a person. Maybe I am a giant gavel that occasionally strikes the bench and makes sweeping pronouncements like, “Out of order! You suck, as does the fact you did not replace the lids on the 14 chafing dishes from which you scavenged. May God have mercy on your soul.”

 

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3 Comments

« Day 101 of walking
Day 109-113 of walking »

Comments

  1. Amy Bounds says

    April 18, 2017 at 1:37 pm

    Yes! Thank you for this hilarious image.

    Reply
  2. Hallie says

    April 20, 2017 at 8:18 pm

    Hahahaaahhaahahahhhhaaa!

    I am you are me.

    May God have mercy on our souls.

    Reply
  3. Sarah says

    April 27, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    To which, I can only say, Amen.

    Reply

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