On Friday the guest bedroom started off as you see above. I was able to get the stickers and crayon markings off the closet doors, but that’s all I did. On Saturday I decided to start working on the toys. The boys were out of the house buying groceries with the Mister, so it was the perfect time to start purging. I believe getting rid of toys with children is never a good idea. Saturday did not prove me wrong.
I was willing to put the time into this project to get it done, but I lost track of time reading a book and before I knew it, the boys were in the guest bedroom demanding to know what I was doing with the toys they hadn’t played with in over a year.
So I said fine, they could help if they promised to actually help and not just goof around or whine about keeping toys that are broken beyond repair. It went exactly as I predicted.
With Mikey, there is at least hope some items will reach the donation pile. With Nico, no. Never. Take, for instance, earlier Saturday morning. I was helping him put on his robe after he slipped on nothing and fell (naturally), hurting both his feet and knees. I noticed his robe was looking small, so I mentioned it was time for him to get a new one. Cue the tears! Gasp-gasp-gasp-gasp. “But, but, but MAMA! You can’t get sell this robe! It’s my favorite robe and if you sell it I will never see it again!” I told him I would try to buy him a robe exactly like the one he has, only in a size that fits, which he thought was great. Except he still wants to keep his too-small robe. “I want to keep it in the closet so I can open the door and look at it.”
You can understand, then, how foolhardy it was of me to have a level 5 hoarder help me purge toys.
At one point I lunged to grab a pair of one-armed sunglasses but Nico beat me to them and put them on his head. One arm. The glasses had one arm and two cracked, clouded lenses. They fell off his head three times in three seconds, and each time they fell he would push them up and say, “What? These are totally good, mama!”
He found a plastic piece he couldn’t identify. I said, “Oh, wow! Weird. That’s a stopper to one of your old sippy cupys.”
“Oh! Poor sippy cup! Poor, poor sippy cup.”
Hand to God, this is what he said as he blinked back tears.
He blinked back tears over an old, dirty, plastic sippy cup stopper. Not an actual sippy cup; the stopper. The thing that makes it so water doesn’t leak out.
“That’s it!” I yelled. “We’re done. Start cleaning up. We’ll pick up where we left off tomorrow.”
Ten minutes later it was just me and Mikey, Nico having left as soon as he realized the threat of lost toys had passed. As I was putting away some piece of something into another part of something I said out loud to nobody in particular, “Geez. You guys are such pack-rats!”
Mikey looked up from organizing a pack of Pokemon cards, sniffed like an English lord addressing a common scullery maid and said, “You should know that I take that as a compliment.”
Ha! I have one of those! He gets it from his mama. I do not take it as a compliment…
This one made me smile out loud! (I’m just not a LOL type of person.) My kids were the exact same way when they were young, and I, too, learned not to purge toys when they were in the house. I still can’t purge much of anything with one of them home. I have to stealth-purge and get it all to Goodwill before she sees it in the car. :-)
I sent my Level 5 Hoarder Son to college this year. He still texts me from time to time to make sure I am not touching his stuff while he is gone!
Cracking up! Bless them.
I’ve posted a couple of William Morris links to projects where I’ve had the exact same issues with Tucker. 6 months ago, I would’ve been saying, “I HEAR YA, sister!” But…I’m stunned to report that lately, things are not AS BAD. Which is not to say that I can still clean & purge with him around, but he doesn’t cry over old robes and sippy cup parts anymore…. All of which is to say: HAVE HOPE! (That said, I sold our old patio table on Craigslist this summer, and he did get a little misty as the buyer loaded it into his truck & drove away!)
LOL LOL LOL LOL… ohh.. make it stop. HONEST TO GOD.. our kids were separated at birth! *your youngest I mean! Oh, I am so glad to know I’m not the only one who has completely ridiculous conversations about getting rid of junk (literally- junk) and clothes that don’t fit.
That Nico just melts my heart. :)
Totally Agree!
Okay – you win! My kids are bad with hoarding, but they are not that bad. I did sneak away two giant tubs of toys several weeks ago and hid them in the basement. I haven’t heard peep from them about missing anything – so I think I’m safe to shuttle them off to the garbage heap. WooHoo!
This absolutely could have happened at my house. Except its my oldest who is the Level 5 hoarder. You have my sympathy!
You are a brilliant writer of all things life! I’ve read a few posts and I already feel compelled to follow your words. Thank you. :)
i love, love, love the way you write. brilliant post.
oh and yes, i always do a sneaky chuck out when the kids are not around. my eldest is hopeless at tossing anything.
all the best,
jo.
Lady, I love your writing. You’ve got style and humor and all the stuff that makes a writer both fun AND insightful.
As a sometimes-grumpy lawyer with two small boys and a burning desire to take on a full-blown William Morris project, your blog is one of my absolute favorites!
Thank you! That was nice of you to say. :)
And thank you to everyone else who has left such nice comments. I’m behind on responding because the boys have been sick. Blargh!
I made the mistake of reading this at work (shhhh!) While waiting to leave a message for a client. Big mistake! The first part of that message is me choking back laughter. Your graphics are PERFECT for this story and seriously cracked me up. Oh the graphics… !! At any rate, thank you for the giggle during my afternoon slump!