Part of me was dreading Mikey’s First Holy Communion. Lots of people, expense, and work were guaranteed. Another part of me looked forward to this day because for Catholics, this is our walkabout. Our bar mitzvah, our rite of passage, our Prom with God. It’s what separates the little kids from the big kids, especially since our parish waits until the 3rd grade before the kids have their first communion. I guess a part of me was dreading it because I wanted it to be special, and if it wasn’t I was going to be sad. I decided to do something I never do to ensure the day went somewhat well. I made it as low-key as possible. I didn’t try to do anything perfect, didn’t try to have THE FIRST HOLY COMMUNION TO END ALL FIRST HOLY COMMUNIONS.
I didn’t try to get perfect pictures. The lighting in the church is horrible and I was too nervous. I focused on taking pictures of everything I wanted to remember and left it at that.
One of two class banners, this one holding Mikey’s “Holy Grail.”
Here is the infamous banner marking our pew, which turned out to be in the 2nd row thankyouverymuch. I thought my mom was going to have an aneurysm when she realized we were so close. She called me every day the week prior to ask where we were sitting, as if she asked enough, that whole “lottery thing” would disappear and we could stake out the pews with sleeping bags and lawn chairs like normal Catholic families. She called me twice on Friday on my way home from the conference and I finally snapped at her and said, “Lottery! We are having a lottery! Why do you keep asking where we are sitting? I have no idea! Please stop asking me.”
And she said, I swear on a stack of Bibles, “Well, I only ask because I thought you might have some inside connections because of the boys.”
Inside connections because of the boys?! Mikey and Nico are in the Children’s Choir, not the mob. Her excitement was palpable, endearing, and very much appreciated…but grandmas like her are absolutely the reason why the lottery system was put into place.
You know it kills me that his tie is crooked in this picture, but I got the tabernacle in the background so I’m happy. Also, his suit! We compromised and went with gray. I wanted something a little lighter that had a southern gentleman vibe that he unequivocally vetoed. Like, “over my dead body, mom” vetoed. I vetoed the “21 Jumpstreet” suit that had a vest and red tie. We bought his suit at Macy’s, for those who are curious.
We didn’t have much time to take pictures outside, but I did make sure to take one picture of Mikey and Emma, much to Mikey’s horror. Mikey and Emma have history. He thinks she’s too carefree with the rules and acts too much like a girl. She thinks he’s an uptight know-it-all and immature. Other than that, they get along great! Her mother and I, actually, are great friends and for the most part they really do get along when they aren’t around other kids from school or when Mikey isn’t telling Emma that taking a picture with her is his worst nightmare.
Yes, that’s right. I thought Emma looked beautiful. Her dress was one of my favorites and because her mom is one of my close friends, of course I wanted a picture of the kids together.
So I said, “Mikey, stand next to Emma so I can get a picture of the two of you.”
And he said, “OH MY GOD THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE.”
Emma, to her credit, merely gave Mikey a withering stare that said she would like nothing more than for Mikey to have his first and last communion–while she watched.
In my head I planned to calmly say something like, “That was rude. Apologize to Emma.”
Instead, in a shrill voice that probably echoed across the four corners of the church yard I said, “WHAT?! WHY? WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!”
“Mom, I told you. No pictures standing next to girls! Look at us. People are going to think we are getting married!”
Now, to be fair, Mikey prepped me for weeks telling me he wanted no pictures with girls and, if possible, he didn’t want to stand next to any girl at any time during the day, for any reason whatsoever, to avoid the millions of staring eyes sure to result. He prepped me, but I didn’t think he believed I would listen. A mom, not taking pictures at First Communion? Lucky for you wishes are free, my son.
I told him to zip it, stand next to Emma, and smile. He did, but not before steeling himself like a soldier going into battle. He looked at her like at any moment she was going to leap at him with a marriage license and a catalog of china patterns. Emma looked at him like he was something found on the bottom of her white, patent leather Mary Janes. Then they went inside and shared the body and blood of Christ!
Days later we were still teasing him about his fear of pictures. He stands firm that his concerns were reasonable.
“You have to admit, mom, two kids getting married at my age is highly inappropriate. People probably thought we were crazy.”
My big boy. This is actually a staged shot the priest was kind enough to recreate for all the parents. We weren’t allowed to take pictures during the actual mass. I thought I was going to be a blubbery mess, but it was my stoic, silent, still waters run deep husband who burst into tears. He earned 200 bonus points.
After the service, which was amazing, we stopped at the house for a few minutes so Mikey could change for his last baseball game of the season. His First Communion party was us ordering pizza and eating it at the game while he played baseball. After the game we went home (with extended family in tow) and had cupcakes. Mikey hates frosting, so the cupcakes were white cake with custard filling and whipped cream topping. Strawberries on top because he loves fruit of all kind, especially strawberries.
It was a great day. My favorite moment of the day had to be when we were leaving Mikey’s baseball game. I was walking with him, teasing him and asking him if he felt any different. He said that yes, he did. The bruise on his knee from when he fell the other day, for example, totally didn’t hurt anymore. I looked at him and smiled, noticing his gray eyes were the pretty blue-green with light brown centers they usually are when he’s upset.
“Hey, your eyes are really blue right now,” I said. “They’re that pretty color they turn when you cry.”
Mikey looked up at me and nodded, awed but not really surprised. “Do you think it’s a side effect of having Jesus inside of me?”
I told him anything was possible.
I am not religious, and yet you just made me well up with that post. Congratulations, Mikey!
Thank you! My husband isn’t Catholic and he cried like a baby, so there you go. :)
Same here. This was lovely, Jules. Does one say congratulations on a First Communion? If so, congratulations to you, your family, and most of all to Mikey. Thank you for sharing this transformative experience with all of us. And I’ll go ahead and add, from my tradition to yours, mazel tov!
I am so happy for Mikey and your family. Those cupcakes look delicious! My oldest son was Confirmed on Saturday. It’s another one of those special days when you look at them all dressed up, and say “When did he get so grown up?”
I still remember what I wore to my Confirmation! It was actually a pretty awesome outfit, if I do say so myself. ;) And, yes, that how I felt when I saw him up there. So big, so fast.
They totally do look like they’re getting married. It’s the veil! ;)
And she had such a pretty veil, too!
This made me smile – Mikey’s (totally reasonable) fear of pictures with a girl, and your maternal reactions and love. Great post.
Oh, my Mikey. One of these days he’s going to see Emma in a different light and he’s not going to know what hit him.
“Our Prom with God.” Nailed that one. You know, I’m not Catholic now, but reading these posts about Mikey’s First Communion, I’ve come to think of myself as a cultural Catholic (kind of like some consider themselves cultural Jews). I’ve been seeing how much the church shaped my family and my childhood and, really, myself–and I’m grateful for it, even if I’m no longer a religious Catholic. I so remember the divide between those who took communion and those who didn’t, and I remember longing to be one of the big kids. I remember begging my mom to let me just go have communion and not wait for the ceremony. (I was quite impatient with my peers and thought waiting was silly when I was ready *now*!) Although she kinda muffed the whole dress thing, she was wise and told me I would be glad I waited for the big day. She was right. These rites of passage are important, and it sounds like you nailed that one, too. Congratulations to all of you.
It’s absolutely cultural! I have a favorite store here in town (kind of home decor/stationery gifty things) and she has an entire section of religious items–Catholic inspired. I mentioned to her once that it was my favorite part of her store, and she said that she grew up Catholic and was no longer practicing, but Catholicism is cultural and stays in your blood–she couldn’t let go of symbols and traditions to save her life.
Another “cultural” Catholic here, and the pictures of the church took me right back, especially the picture with the song-numbers-to-be-sung-display. SO Catholic!
Add one more ‘cultural Catholic’ here, too. Grew up Catholic, our family did all of this and really, even when I quit practicing actively, it just STAYS. Once a Catholic…always a Catholic. I love that this rite of passage went off so well for your son and your family and you got some great photos to capture the entire experience!It’s pretty awesome!
Phaedra–thank goodness you typed rite of passage. As soon as I saw it I realized I probably typed the wrong rite in my post without even thinking. Stupid homophones and flying fingers. At least I didn’t type write, which would have been a million times worse. :)
Typos are so embarrassing.
I’m not religious but I’m also welling up with tears over here! And the little suit just about kills me. So happy for y’all, and congrats to Mikey on his recent nuptials.
I should have taken a picture of his suit when it was hanging in his room that morning! It looked like it was waiting for a little mini-groom. So sweet. :)
that is so sweet. also from an official southerner: I love the suit. I doubt seersucker suits go over anywhere else in the country but here, and though my husband and others frequently sport bow-ties rather than the long variety, i’m pretty sure if they went too far outside of south carolina they’d get mistaken for clowns!
Anyway, what a great time for your family. thanks for sharing it
There was one boy who was sporting the bow tie! He always wears one, though. His mom loves them. :)
So sweet! Your kids are still my favorite kids on the internet…though now Emma is gaining on them. Congratulations!
Hah! A couple of months ago I had a dream Mikey and Emma got married on the banks of the River Jordan. Jen and I had a big laugh over that one. Though, I have to say, Mikey should be so lucky to marry a girl like Emma! She’s a great girl.
(Sidenote–my dream taste is impeccable. Emma’s dress was amazing!)
This. Post. Woah. You made my eyes really, really blue. ;) Congratulations to Mikey and to your entire family! It sounds like such a great day – a day you made full of memories, not full of stress about everything being perfect (that we are all so often guilty of). So, so happy for you Jules!
Aw, thanks! No one is more guilty of adding stress to a situation like I am. I’m so glad I didn’t go cuckoo this time around.
“Mikey and Nico are in the Children�s Choir, not the mob.” You are so, so witty my friend. Congrats to Mikey, he looked as handsome as ever and your post was fabulous!
Thank you, T. :)
I love how you can immerse us, the readers, into your events to the point that we even experience the emotions!
An added benefit to low-key celebrations and not trying to make it all perfect: YOU are able to submerse yourself into the celebration and those memories will live much longer in your heart than that perfect picture or place setting.
Thank you. :) You are so right about the parties. This is the first time I didn’t try to make everything crazy perfect, and it was great. Normally I’m making flower arrangements, composing menus, sending out invitations…by the time the event comes along I’m exhausted and stressed to the max. I’m a new believer. I’m a Born Again Partier!
Your mom and my mom should get together for a Proud Granny Cage Match.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Such an adorable photo of the two of them. My friends and I secretly wish that our kids will marry each other :)
J
Well – I’m now a big blubbering mess thankyouverymuch! It sounds like a perfect day – even the Emma stuff because it (obviously) makes for a great story. Especially years from now when they are actually marred to each other :) Much love and congratulations to Mikey and his family!
I laughed and I cried (and now I kind of wish I was Catholic). What a wonderful day for you all and congratulations to your little man. He’s so darn cute, ahem, I mean handsome in that suit.
Oh, how dear this post is. He had such a better day than my First Communion! (Dress I hated but had to wear b/c my sisters wore it; shoes I hated; bangs too short, etc.) You rocked it and I’m glad you fought the “must be the best” impulse that we all wrestle with. Yay!
Aw, Jules. This is so sweet. I even got a little teary at the end.
This was obviously such a big, big day in your family’s life. Thanks for letting us share it with you through so many steps (via FB and IG, too) and congrats to Mikey. (Not Catholic, so forgive me if the “congrats” are inappropriate for the occasion.)
my favorite post ever…which is saying a lot because there is so much to love here.
Perfect First Communion pictures Jules!!! This past weekend (Cinco de Mayo, actually) my granddaughter was baptized, by Father Corona no less, and then we had a Cinco type celebration. Baby got to wear a tiny crooked yellow sombrero tacked onto a headband at her party!
(my daughter also got married on Friday, we had a funeral wake for my son-law’s grandma on Sunday afternoon AND, my elderly mother was admitted to the hospital with shortness of breath due to congestive heart failure on Thursday night) SWEET little few days huh?
Mikey was adorable, and I truly think you captured the essence of the day!
I don’t know why, but it won’t let me ‘reply’ to your reply above. That being said, I didn’t notice that you used the wrong rite (LOL. THAT sounds funny!) so you’re totally off the hook for typos! Plus, I want to add that I loved the phrase about your boys being in the chidren’s choir, not the mob. I was still laughing about that through the day. AWESOME. (as usual)
Ah, young love! :) Loved the “history” link. So cute!
Jules thanks for sharing such a very special time in a young man’s life, something he will never forget.
grandpa John
Hello,
Thank you for sharing such a day. My children are young adults now. We had the “stake your own territory” for our daughters First Holy communion and the given an entire pew if we wanted it for our son, the second!!!! They did that by having numerous Saturdays and Sundays for first communion masses. So much calmer.
It is funny and wonderful how God works. Just last night I was thinking back to their First Communion and now I read of your sons. Mikey is amazing. I love how you wrote about his day. I love how he did not just go through it… he feels it etc.
I flet we did not go all out for ours either; a bit more than yours especially as family came over (in the second case drove 7 hours). I thought last evening should we have done more? No. Thanks to you, sharing Mikey’s wonderful day, I know my answer.
God Bless
With Kindness,
Mary
Love. Your. Writing. Loved getting back to those First Communion Memories. Congrats to you and yours!
‘Loved this post. I admit my eyes turned a little blue ;) I love the part about your mom and the pews, I totally understand all of that from her point of view and yours. And Mikey with Emma… So sweet. What a special day. God bless your family.
I had a really long day and am feeling a little emo, but that last part about his eyes brought tears to MY eyes. So beautiful. What a blessing.
What a great post. Love his comments about the pictures and being with Jesus. Seriously sweet. What a great day to look back on!