Nicholas turned 5 on Thursday. My baby, 5 years old. The mind boggles.
This is the first year he really understood and anticipated his birthday. He talked about having a party for months, and how he wanted to invite all twenty kids from his class for an Angry Birds/Transformers/Mario Brothers/Star Wars party with a two jumpers, a pi�ata, and a strawberry army cake with a green tank and one army guy on top.
We settled on four kids from class (plus a little sister), no theme, and the army cake. It made sense.
For a brief moment in January, I considered not doing a party at all. Parties make me nervous. I worry about everyone having fun. I worry about the limited budget I have to work with, and what the parents and kids will think. Mostly, though, I dread the work involved. The planning, the cleaning, the cooking, the baking, the accommodating of many different tastes and diets and allergies. I worry, because I am a procrastinator and a�pleaser who can drown in a glass of water.
I love to make my boys happy, but if I learned anything last year, it’s that you don’t need everything you want. I decided to give Nicholas a party, but not the one he thought he needed. I kept it small and personal, something I could manage. I’m so glad I did, both for him and for me.
We kept the guest list small. I don’t know all the kids from preschool, and I certainly don’t know the parents, so we limited it to the kids and parents I knew–the ones Nicholas talks about incessantly. Also invited, of course, was his cousin Addison (she’s the beauty on the slide and is later hugging Nico) and our neighbor’s daughter, Daphne. Play date material, in other words.
We didn’t have a theme. No Angry Birds/Transformers/Mario Brothers/Star Wars. I used the same party flags I made for his birthday party last year, and I’ll use them again for the next party, too.
We held the party on a Friday, right after preschool. We did a little caravan to the house and the kids ran in and out of the house and up and down the play gym for two hours. No pi�ata, no jumper. The kids played football and dinosaurs and Star Wars and tag and Hot Wheels and doctor. It was wonderful to watch and I was glad I trusted my instincts to let kids be kids and entertain themselves.
I didn’t make the food. This was big for me, the one who wants to do everything. I had to take a deep breath and allow myself to let people help me. I ordered sandwiches, bought pre-cut vegetables, and placed chocolate lace cookies I did not bake on pretty platters. And, most important of all, I didn’t worry (too much) that someone might not like what was available to eat. I offered an assortment of sandwiches, fresh fruit, and two green salads.
I did bake the cake! Nicholas had a clear vision for his cake. I asked him for weeks what he wanted and it was always a strawberry army cake with a tank and army guy on top. I happen to think strawberry cakes are vulgar wastes of flour, but he was adamant. Since this was the one area he seemed committed to (unlike the Angry Birds/Transformers/Mario Brothers/Star Wars themes), I figured it was important to him. Disgusting or no, I made Joy the Baker’s Southern Strawberry Cake. He was so happy when he saw that silly, somewhat lopsided cake with the frosting I didn’t get quite right. He and Mikey worked very hard on the army table display the night before. The placement of each army guy, helicopter, and mountain was carefully considered, and I didn’t touch a thing after they were done. (Bonus: the cake was actually tasty.)
Never have I seen Nicholas so joyous. With only his very close friends at his party and Mikey gone at school, he was–for the first time in his life–the center of attention. It was all about him, and he reveled in it. I thought his face was going to crack from the grin he had stretched ear to ear. At least once I felt like crying, just because I was so happy to see him so happy.
I realized at that moment that I hate parties when I’m planning for them, cleaning for them, cooking for them, baking for them, and trying to get rsvps for them. But I love them when I am in the middle of it watching everyone have fun. And afterwards, when the house is empty and we are eating leftovers, listening to Nicholas tell Mikey all about his special day–that’s when I think parties are the best thing since sliced bread, and that I should have them more often.
Until the next one comes around and I have to start planning…
This kid is so stinkin’ cute! I’m glad that party was worth all the effort – and that the cake came out so well! I love the paradox of tanks and strawberry cake, lol! =D
I know! That’s another reason that I did the cake. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make a pink army cake.
I agree with you that letting them run and play and eat cake makes for the best party. I loved his smile, you could just tell he was about to burst with excitement.
Several years ago my daughter planned a treasure hunt with maps and clues and a meandering seach throughout the yard, for her son. My son-in-law decided to attend as the pirate who hid the treasure. He is now the first requirement of each party, and attends each party as a pirate.
For my granddaughter’s 10th birthday, she requested a “box party” Her mom collected several washer or dryer boxes (from an appliance store). Set out lots of markers, crayons, tape and paper and whatever one might need to decorate one’s home. Bowls of snacks and drinks were available and the girls went to it. They made houses which then became fortresses, which then became USA vs. Sweden in a battle. The girls then each slept in their houses for the night in sleeping bags and had a sleepover. In the morning, the battle for Sweden renewed and my youngest grandson was captured as a spy and was happily in the middle of his big sister’s birthday party. Best party ever!
The box party (USA v. Sweden!) sounds like the best thing ever. I have to remember that one!
His smile is priceless. It sounds and looks like a perfectly wonderful birthday party. I love the flags and the fresh flowers. I caught a glimpse of The Rules of Civilty.
Yup! I still haven’t read it. I heard it goes by fast, and I want to be nice and fresh when we discuss it in a couple of weeks.
Yes, fresh is good and it does go fast.
Jules, this party sounds amazing and perfect and exactly what a 5 year old could handle. Aren’t over the top birthday parties for kids is just an invitation for a melt down either by parent or child? Thanks for being so self reflective and honest… it’s refreshing to read and to acknowledge that we can’t do it all, but if we pare it down and focus on doing a few things well, that it can feel like we do it all. You’ve inspired my Monday!
I’m learning, Elle. I used to be the master of over the top parties. Ridiculous, now that I think about it.
Oh, that smile brightens my day.
And no wonder he was smiling–what a grand way to usher in 5!
It was a great day. :)
His smile! He looks so, so happy. I’m with you on the pre-party stress, but I agree it’s almost always well worth it in the end.
Yup, I always think “Hey, that wasn’t so bad” when it’s all over. :)
Oh my, that picture next to the fireplace says it all. Only his ears stopped that grin from wrapping clear around! Such sweetness.
I am with you on the before party qualms and drive myself nuts every year. I have already caught myself worrying about what we should do for Sam’s birthday this year, in August…
I’m starting to worry about Mikey’s now. Some people are born worriers.
Amazing descriptions of everything – but I didn’t need to read a word to know it was just right. As soon as I saw that first picture it was obvious this was a child whose party was just right!!! Great job for knowing what mattered to him – and what mattered to you.
Thanks, Susan. I’m proud of myself for keeping it somewhat low key. I’m getting there. By 75 I should be relaxed and have all my priorities in order. ;)
I can’t believe he’s 5! Where does the time go? He does look really happy in the pictures. I’m proud of you for not working yourself into a frenzy over preparing everything. Looks like it was a huge success. Happy Happy Birthday Nicholas!!!!
I know, I can’t believe he’s 5. Devastation!
Such a sweet post! I’m so glad he was “king for a day”. And that photo on the slide with his friend wrapping her arms around him…priceless!
That’s his cousin, Addison (I changed the post because that wasn’t clear at all) and they loooooooove each other. They are both adrenaline junkies, we are concerned for what the teen years will bring.
His smile says it all – great party!! It looks sincerely welcoming, which is the most important part of any party. The cake looks great, too!
Great job listening to what Nicholas wanted and then translating it into a realistic party. I sometimes get caught up in the details of my kids dreams I can’t translate them into do-able. He will probably always remember ‘5’!
Here’s the latest lesson I learned about over-the-top birthday parties: for my 8 yr olds party last year, I exhausted myself baking 3 different flavors of cupcakes and when I handed one to her with a candle in it so we could sing happy birthday, she politely said, “No thanks, Mom, I don’t like cupcakes.” Ouch.
Hah! That burns. I’ve been there, too. I hope he remembers the party. I don’t know why I feel that way, but I do.
thank goodness you passed on the pinata! i always get nervous when those are pulled out. either for the parent who will inevitably get whacked or the children who will get trampled going after the candy. this sounds like the perfect party. we recently went to a 5 yr old party where they hired the pre-k gym teacher to do games. it was 45 degrees out and they were all bundled and running around outside. they had a blast. simple is definitely better!
Pinatas always remind me of one of the first stories I told on the blog. My parents got me a pinata because, of course, it’s what I wanted. But they were immigrants, and didn’t know you had to fill them. So the pinata opened and nothing came out. My mom ran inside and got bags of chips and leftover Halloween candy and started tossing it at us.
I love how the present with the orange tissue paper makes it look like you had a fire in your fireplace!!!
It looks like a great party- maybe you can throw ME a birthday party next Monday!!
Also, I am glad I’m not the only one who hasn’t finished the book club book!!! I figured I’d be the only one still working my way through (you’re right though, it’s not a difficult read…but there is enough substance to the story that you don’t feel like you’re reading mind-rotting fluff. Not that there’s anything wrong with mind-rotting fluff. Okay, I’m done now, before I dig myself into too much of a hole here).
I didn’t even notice that about the present until you said something. Too funny!
His face! Oh, that smile made me laugh so hard, what a great way to start the day, he’s like a baby chipmunk, just want to squeeze him hard! I can’t believe he is FIVE, time flies I just hope you capture his sweet way of talking on video for future walks down memory lane. And this my friend should be a poster size quote:
“…you don�t need everything you want”.
Yup.
FIVE!
Happy Birthday Nicholas! It looks like he had a great time at his party. Kudos to you for gently turning it into what he would enjoy, not just what he wanted. Looks like everyone “won” on that day.
It WAS one of those days where everyone got what they wanted. Yay!!
So glad it went well, and happy birthday to Nicholas! We skipped a two year party for my born-right-after-Jesus baby this year. But we did make sure he got what he wanted to eat: hot dogs and red cake. I went with red velvet but if he wants red cake again next year I might have to try strawberry, yum!
Oh, stick with red velvet! It’s a thousand times better.
Oh goodness, what a smile! The pink army cake is so awesome. Hear you about the birthday parties. As a child, I never had them, as a result, I desperately want my kids parties to be special/memorable/big/awesome…perfect(?). In the end, even with all of the procrastinating-last-minute-worrying the most important part is that the kids have fun. This last year, with my 8 year-old, things finally fell into place, and I stopped with the crazed-mommy routine. The kids had an awesome time, pure fun. It was great — no where near perfect — which is a-okay :)
Exactly. :)
I am well past 5 yr. old parties, but you were totally right. Memo to self–sometimes we know better what they want than they do! Wisdom comes with age!
YOur house looks AMAZING. Like a stylist went through it for a magazine shoot. I am envious and inspired. . . .
Oh, wow–thank you! You know, the house did look pretty that day. I credit the fresh flowers. They make all the difference in the world! Of course, shortly after the party I had to remove the them (the stock in the living room, especially) because my husband and Mikey were having allergy attacks. Sigh.
Your house and the banners look amazing! Very nice. I admit to indulging in some major birthday theme planning when my daughter was younger. (Her 5-year party was quite the “Ariel/Mermaid” fiesta.) But I enjoyed all the creativity and planning. It’s easier on me now that she’s almost 10 (!), but I kinda miss the hoopla.
Nicholas is adorable, by the way, and so is his cousin. Great genes!
You don’t even want to know about Mikey’s 1st birthday party. You would have thought Jesus just turned one. Totally embarrassing.
SO great, Jules! He looks so happy in all the pictures – that’s what it’s all about, right?
We had my daughter’s “kids” party last weekend (she just turned 5, also). Luckily, there are only 7 kids in her pre-K class, so we invited everyone. We had the party at home, and I kept it simple, like you did – I really wanted it to be like the parties I remember having when I was growing up. I was worried about what to do with the parents if any of them stayed, but none of them did (which I was thrilled about – I didn’t want to have to entertain the kids AND their parents for an hour and a half!) We didn’t really have a specific theme, either. Most of the other kids have had their parties at places – which I have no issue with, and our pre-K is actually a daycare, so all the parents work, so I get it – but I really wanted to devote time and energy to this, and it was so worth it! 5 is such a great age!
YES! I want to recapture the parties I used to have as a kid. The cakes were always homemade (yellow, with chocolate frosting was my favorite) and not very well decorated. Well, my cakes were always homemade by other moms because my mom is a disaster of a baker. Really bad. Everything else, she’s awesome.
Anyway, yes, I want Nico to look back on his parties and actually REMEMBER them. You can’t do that when you have 300 of your closest friends there.
Love this. He looks like he had the best day.
I secretly like strawberry cake. Shhhhh.
You know, I have to admit: the cake wasn’t bad at all. It was actually quite tasty. I think all the other strawberry cakes I have had in the past were from the box.
He looks sooooo much like you. ? your kids. I’ve said it on Facebook and I’ll say it again here. You are the best mom ever.
Some people say he does, but I say he looks like my husband. Not the best mom ever. I wish! (I’m sure they wish, too.) ;)
Egads. I know I’ve said it a hundred times, but you have the cutest kids ever. And I’ve seen a lot of kids.
:)
Happy Birthday!! We celebrated a birthday this weekend too, but it involved ten girls and a slumber party, I’m still recovering. I like the idea of keeping it simple…he won’t remember that the veggies were precut, but he will remember the fun and the freedom!
I’m hoping the days of slumber parties are still a ways off. Those look like exhausting parties.
Just the most perfect party.
Happy Birthday Nico!
xoxo
Happy birthday Nicholas! I love the pix of your house, the party table, and the bunting. Oh and Nicholas definitely has a very cute smile. He makes me smile.
Happy Birthday Nicholas! You are such a cutie pie!!!
Jules, I have to say that Nicholas looks JUST LIKE YOU! Adorable!!!
Thanks for sharing such a precious moment in your lives.
Ali
Love the pennants! Talk about your million dollar smiles! That guy has got it going on!
“I decided to give Nicholas a party, but not the one he thought he needed. I kept it small and personal, something I could manage. I�m so glad I did, both for him and for me.”
YES!!! When I was a kid, it wasn’t about decorations and craziness — it was just family and a few friends and a homemade cake. That’s the kind of birthday party I want to have for my own kids. The way kids’ birthday parties have become these crazy social events is nuts to me!
(says the girl who is NOT a party planner and also isn’t a big baker…)
It sounds like an absolutely PERFECT party.
And you’ve just reminded me of those “after the party” moments. It’s been a couple of years since we’ve had a kids’ birthday party, and those moments…after, when the guests are gone, except for family, when we’re just sitting around, and the kids are playing…that is one of my favorite feelings.