I did it and I’m back. I had a great time, most of the time. (The time I wasn’t appalled by my poor networking skills.)
I’m glad I went. It was a huge step outside my comfort zone and my first multi-day blogging conference. It’s something I needed to do, if only to prove I can. The above picture isn’t anywhere near the Ace because I was too nervous or busy to take a picture of the hotel while I was there. As luck would have it, I found another three letter word that starts with A to act as a stand-in. Palm Springs is accommodating.
I have to process the conference over the next few days–and catch up on my sleep–but there are some bits of the long weekend I remember.
- Lisa Congdon’s talk at Camp Mighty was my favorite, which says something because all the speakers were inspiring. She started off her talk by sharing she is a big introvert. I know the feeling. Then she spoke about her life and how she changed it, focusing on the last five years of explosive, prolific growth. It was inspiring to see how someone around my age folded themselves into a chrysalis and emerge changed and renewed. Come to think of it, that’s what her talk did to me. You can read her bio here and see what I mean.
- I despise talking about myself or being the center of attention. I’m better at making other people comfortable and getting them to talk about themselves. Every time someone asked what I did or who I was, I (i) stuttered, (ii) drew a blank, or (iii) redirected the question. Nicole was with me during most of my misery and became increasingly frustrated. At one point during our final dinner, I was mildly concerned she was going to broadside me with her butter knife after my brief and vague introduction to another blogger. One of the major goals of the conference was to meet and promote and grow. In that regard, I failed. I’ll have to practice in the mirror before the next conference I attend.
- I met Alice Bradley. She is charming and funny and kind, and she said I have great hair. She also offered to help me with any questions I might have about writing a book after I crashed and burned during a “share your five goals for the year” segment of the conference. (See above bullet point.)
- I love being home or, better stated, I love being with my family. I love where I am in my life, even though it’s not what I imagined. I am unapologetic about my commitment to putting my family first. A popular blog is great, but it’s not the end goal for me. I won’t be thinking about my twitter follower count on my death bed, and I doubt Saint Peter will ask for my Klout score before I walk through the gates. That said, I really need to work on socializing more. If I sound a bit down, it’s because I’m disappointed in myself. Also, tired. Really, really tired and regretting my decision to drive Mikey’s classmates on a field trip this week. What was I thinking?
If you are looking for a conference that forces you to write down your goals and formulate a plan to achieve them, this is the way to go. It wasn’t perfect, but this was the first go-round. I’m sure the event will be even better next year.
Sounds like a great time…. but even better to be home….. right?
It sounds like each person that goes, that has that same introverted personality, should have their own personal “nudger” who stands behind them and nudges them when they haven’t shared enough or when they try to sink back into the wallpaper at the mixers.
You’ll get better at it if you keep doing it. Glad you survived and can’t wait to hear more!
I don’t mind talking to people, and I think I did fine at the mixers. It’s talking about myself where I fumble. It drives my husband crazy, because I do end up sounding like I’ve sat around the house eating candy for the last 15 years.
I just received an email from a reader, and I guess I sound a bit depressed. I’m not! I’m just tired and overwhelmed. It was a big weekend for me. I have a new respect for all the overnight traveling my husband does for work. It’s hard being “on” for four days straight!
TOTALLY feel your pain. I’m an oddball extrovert, an introverted extrovert. I’m fine in small groups–I love being out, meeting new people, trying new things. But I, too, despise being the center of attention. I also don’t mingle well if I’m tired . . . just completely freeze. And can’t seem to put a coherent sentence together to save my life. It’s a phenomenon that occurs when I meet hot guys, too. Most unfortunate. I still remember the first time a friend saw me in action: “Wow. You weren’t kidding, were you . . . ” :)
I would say we should attend one of these things together, for moral support. There we’d be: two women, side-by-side, like tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum, mumbling, stuttering. They’d think we were sisters from the back woods. Perhaps we should rethink.
That said, Welcome Home, my friend!
YES. This is me!!! Nicole kept telling me that she couldn’t believe I called myself shy and introverted since I was talking to everyone. Then she saw me once the attention turned to me and saw what I was talking about. Focus on you = I’m engaging, funny, and an extrovert. Focus on me = stuttering cave woman capable of single syllable nouns.
It’s really hard to believe it now, but I used to be the biggest introvert ever. I was very shy and backwards. I never wanted to do anything alone and would actually just stay home rather than deal with something new. I’m not sure what happened, but my senior year in high school I started to come out of my shell and after the girls were born it got even better. I’m usually pretty comfortable in crowds and love to talk to people, but I still have to give myself a 3 day pep talk before I try something new. I over-analyze EVERYTHING and run scenarios in my head about the way things MIGHT go. I tend to use humor as a shield but force myself to try to enjoy every new experience and learn from them. I feel your pain LOL.
I’m so glad you’re home and you faced your fear head on and went to the conference. Next time (and there will be a next time) you’ll have a better idea of what to expect and will do swimmingly I’m sure. Next time maybe you should try something on the East Coast … but I’m just sayin. ;)
You should be proud of yourself for doing something outside of your comfort zone. From one introvert to another, congrats!
Yup. I’m an introverted extrovert, as well. Don’t beat yourself up. Rest up and hydrate and feel proud that you went. If I had to guess, the conference had more of an impact on you than you realize right.this.second, and as you think about it more, it will be awesomely evident. Just a hunch. ;)
I’ve been thinking about what you said about impact, and I think you are right. Right now, I’m hung up on all the things I could have done differently.
You’ve got a social hangover! It’s taken me six years of conference-going to figure out what was going on when I got home. I now know I need to spend a couple of days napping on the couch whenever I can and not reliving any awkward moments I may or may not have had.
For the record, it was fantastic to meet you and you never seemed even a little bit awkward to me. But maybe I was too busy admiring your hair to notice.
I have to agree with her as this is exactly what is happening to me the more hours that pass. Saturday night I was sorta feeling like it was a bit of a let down, but by Sunday morning when we were walking around the Parker, I felt a whole lot better. And then I got hit with a bunch of ideas on the way home that for sure came from the conference. So, sit on it a bit more. And even if at the end of the day you didn’t take away all you wanted to, you still got to see a crazy lady perform Ninja makeup skills while trying to not look sexy-sexy in your hotel room. How often does THAT happen to you?! ;) Oh, and read this post from Ashley Ann Photography. I had to keep reminding myself about it this weekend http://ashleyannphotography.com/blog/2011/11/07/building-a-name/
Yes, I need to sit on it an process.
p.s. The Parker was AWESOME and all you. Thanks for the great idea.
I am sure your family and friends are so proud of you for going and for doing the best you could. The reality is that we can only get better at these things through practice, practice, practice. Even if progress is slow and incremental, it will get easier each time. You might benefit from a little homework assignment: Create an elevator pitch about yourself, or if you prefer, a dustjacket blurb. When done right, it is succinct and natural-sounding, and there’s no need to fumble or stutter because you’ve memorized it. Alternately, you can deflect the conversation a bit to something specific that you’re working on. I’ll bet people would have been very interested in the 31 DOWM project you just completed! Or your blog redesign and your thoughts behind it. Anyway, unsolicited advice is worth exactly what you paid for it, but I hope you will continue to explore this exciting, if scary, new territory and share it with us!
When I got home, my first thought was that I would never again attend a conference. Then I thought about it and realized that was silly. Now that I know what to expect, it will be much, much easier. I know I should have mentioned the William Morris project, but I didn’t want to sound like I was bragging/didn’t want to bore people. What on earth did I think I would be bragging about? That makes no sense to me now that I think about it.
Love what Lisa in Seattle said, and my unsolicited free advice is worth exactly the same ;)
I read an article ‘once upon a time’ that was about women in the workplace, and the fact that women’s earnings were holding at a pretty steady 72c to the male earning dollar. And then the article went on to talk not only about the standard mom track arguments and traditional ‘womens work’ being lower paid fields, but also about how women interact in performance and compensation conversations. And it was eye-opening, because it was exactly what I (and every woman I knew) did.
We tend to downplay and minimize our own contributions, and instead, we talk about how the team performed, the team pulled together, and oh, this project I spent blood sweat and tears on for the past 3 weeks while other’s didn’t do their parts on time? It was nothing, I was happy to contribute ….
So I try very hard to keep that in mind, and I push to ‘take credit’ at work, when credit is due. And I try to remember I’m worth just as many dollars as the men are, and ask for them, even as the company is trying to reduce costs. But it’s a constant battle and it reminds me so much of your description of trying to ‘brag’ a little about yourself. Women are taught NOT to brag — even the word has a connotation I’m sure we’re all shriveling up inside and rebelling against with my even using it. But watch our menfolk (and your boys). They’re gleefully reveling in their competitive natures, and proudly announcing their achievements.
So I say, practice a few boasts, and brag on yourself a bit. You’re awesome, and every one of us who read you regularly know it. You can always start with the self-deprecating brag “one of my readers told me I was awesome today” ;D It gets easier each time.
Yes. Practice, practice, practice. And you’re right–I don’t know how to toot my own horn, and that’s a problem. Gotta get over that!
I bet blogging events are so fun! Too bad there’s not too many around my school and I still have classes to take care of.
Yes, definitely focus on your classes, Joy. :)
Jules, I’m bummed we didn’t get to chat at all this weekend. But I’m realizing with every tweet, post, and email that MightyCamp is far from over. We’ve all become bound to each other through the shared experience. I too definitely wish I would have done some things differently, but lets not sweat it! We can still get to know each other from the comfort of our own homes and then next time we all meet it will be like we are old friends.
PS Really like your blog!
Thank you, Anna. The more I read other posts and tweets, the more I see you’re right. It’s hard to cram in everything you want to accomplish in 3 short days. :)
How is it that we didn’t even get to chat–not even once! And to think, this was a small conference of 125 or so. I don’t know how the people who attend 3000k plus conferences do it.
I know exactly what you mean! I’m an “introverted extrovert” as well, though I would characterize that (in my case) as someone who loves to be around people but just isn’t always very good at it. : ) I was a theatre major in college and while auditions never phased me, attending conferences was always exhilarating/terrifying/exhausting/overwhelming. I don’t have any advice, you just have to DO it and try not to over-think and over-criticize. It was so smart of you to have a friend with you! It always helped me to try to remember that most everyone is too self-conscious to notice anybody else’s little peccadilloes (hard for people like us, who seem to notice EVERYTHING).
It’s a first step and that’s no small accomplishment! Rest, hydrate, and come back to it once your brain simmers down a bit. And it is oh so good to be home again…
Baby steps.
Go you, for stepping out of your comfort zone!!
And you do have pretty amazing hair. :)
I do so envy people who have superior networking skills, I find it so difficult to approach people or to put myself into a group who are already talking. I can’t talk about myself either, I feel that I am the MOST boring person in the world so who would want to listen to me?????? I’m sure it is a skill that can be acquired, but it does take a lot of practice! Good on you for going along to the event, and yes, you really do having amazing hair :)
Sorry that should be you HAVE amazing hair!
I completely identify with this post and probably would have felt the same way in that environment. I also used to be an attorney and it also “made me grumpy.” Do you find then, that people assume you are an argumentative extrovert? I do. I am definitely friendly and not a wallflower, but like you said, I don’t like to be the center of attention and I’d much rather listen to someone speak than be the speaker. Something to work on, I suppose. Appreciate your honesty here.
Also, good luck with the dining room table. It will be worth the wait, I’m sure :)
Thank you, Courtney! Yes, I do find that people expect me to be this whiz public speaker. In some ways, I am. If you give me a topic, I will do okay. If that topic is me–forget it. You’d be better off hiring a seal.
I know what you mean about networking (which by the way is something you do everyday on this blog, you forge a network with and for us and we [I] get to be comfortable about replying). In real time it’s the hardest beep thing! I can stand in front of a class of college kids and my confidence and passion and humour are infectious but take me to a cocktail party or other networking event and I am a socially inept clam who would prefer to be handing round the hors d’oeuvres. I notice that if I take on a role, I am much more comfortable, but the other stuff…yikes, I literally turn tail for home. So well done for hanging in there, especially without your whanau/peeps/support network. I think your list is fantastic and I love that camp made you do this, I love that you shared it with us and we can all go and make our lists. Thanks Jules
Thank you, too. You described me to a T. :)
I’m so introverted I can’t usually even get myself to leave a comment on a blog!! Just wanted to thank you for this post and this conversation. You have articulated so well many of my own feelings that I just couldn’t put words to. You are not alone, and you are an inspiration. Thanks for your beautiful blog – keep on keepin’ on!
I’m surprised (and comforted) by how many introverted extroverts have come out of the closet. We can do it, Elaine! :)
I relate a lot to what you’ve described… and I know this wasn’t the focus of your post, but God bless you for chaperoning the field trip! As second grade teacher, I can tell you we don’t always want to go on the field trips either! :)