The memorial for my friend’s mom was on Sunday and everything went well. My memorial cards were very well received, and even I was proud of them. I kind of nailed them. I know that sounds boastful, but I’m proud of the writing I did. The Mister overheard a guest commenting that they were perfect and encapsulated the life of my friend’s mom well. I felt good about that, because I am not the best at dealing with emotions. When my family and friends are hurt, my instinct is to help or fix instead of comfort or listen. It’s in my nature to “make things all better.” By doing these cards, I felt like I was doing something. I didn’t feel so helpless, I guess.
I used Carey from Lasso’d Moon Designs to help with setup and printing. She also did my Christmas cards, if you recall. I can’t imagine working with anyone else. She is always patient with me, and always tolerates my freak-outs like they are no big deal. I was so nervous about this project. My friend’s mom was a stickler for presentation and I was convinced she would haunt me if the cards were less than top-notch. By the time Carey placed the order, even she was starting to get nervous. I told her she should; my friend’s mom would have no qualms about haunting her, too. Overall, I am pleased with my part in honoring my friend’s mom and, of course, helping my friend the best I can.
I’ll be helping her some more, sadly. Her father enters hospice today. I’m not at liberty to discuss the particulars, but I can say that all of this–her mom’s death, her father’s imminent passing, has happened in less than three weeks. All told, she has had 15 days to prepare for all of this. Last week her father looked at her and said, “These are interesting times we are living in.” That’s the understatement of the century.
Earlier last week I was crying over everything. It’s all so sad, so unbelievable and shocking. But the worst thing about all of this is that everything she is going through will one day be mine. Death is inevitable, and one day I will be making arrangements for my own loved ones. It’s incomprehensible to me.
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I announced the winners for the book giveaway. I know I’m a week late; I’m sorry. Just click here to see if your name is there. :)
I know what you mean about nailing it. I wrote a blog post for a friend a couple years ago and it was much the same. It made the pain bearable, knowing that I could serve as a reminder: the key was not that she had died, but that she had lived …
And my heart breaks for your friend … I’ll send up a prayer …
I think about that all the time since one of my brothers died last Fall. I am the youngest of seven and if I am “lucky” I will be burying all of them.
Words mean so much. You are tremendously blessed you can comfort people with your gift.
I didn’t know about your brother, Becky. I’m sorry. :(
My husband lost his first wife when they were both in their twenties. He says the experience of watching her die in his arms was more than one person ought to endure but it gave him a renewed appreciation for life and love.
I can’t imagine, but I think your husband is right. I feel that a little bit right now.
Two years ago, my grandmother died. An amazing woman, she was born in the 20’s, graduated high school at 16, and was the only woman in her college business classes. She received an associates degree in business in the 1940’s, when it was practically unheard of for women, and she worked outside the home for her entire life. (In fact, she was one of 3 sisters–all of whom were college educated–such a feat in the 1940’s…) She died in her late 80’s after a hip fracture.
But, I write to tell you of my grandfather, who was 2 years her senior. On the day of her funeral, he told me that he loved me, and that he was “finished with life” and “I am going to die now.” As a physician, I looked at him skeptically–he was frail, but not ill. Two days later, when I went to see him in his assisted living center, he would not wake from sleep. He was comatose, and would be so for the next 3 days, until he died. It was 1 week-to the day-from my grandmother’s death that he died. I am an infectious diseases doctor, and I’ve seen some interesting/miraculous things, but his decision to die, and his subsequent death, remain the most influential “control” over life and death that I’ve ever seen. There are just some people whom we cannot abide life without.
I’m glad you could contribute in such a meaningful way! Thank you so so much for the book!
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