Here’s the thing with neon: it’s a color only teens can wear. When I say I want to spend the summer wearing touches of neon, I mean color that is brighter than what I usually wear. I’m going for a respectable neon. Something a mom of 38 years can wear without looking like she is clinging to the last vestiges of youth with her gnarled, liver-spotted hands.
Wait.
Can I be honest? I had a whole post planned out on this topic. The topic of what teen trends are okay for moms to wear but, hand to God, I can’t even concentrate on what I am writing because all I can think about is my hair. I was in a mad dash to color my roots (I’m 50% gray) before my niece’s 6th grade promotion on Thursday. Since my gray is resistant, I have to color it every 3 weeks or so, and I’m nervous about the chemicals. So this time around I didn’t buy my usual color and instead bought a natural(ish) color. And for whatever reason, this color turned my roots red and the rest of my hair black.
My hair looks like a skunk.
A punk skunk.
I knew it wasn’t a perfect match and that the difference was more noticeable in the daylight. I did not know that all the pictures for my niece’s promotion would be outside, and that I would upload them tonight, take one look at them, and burst into tears. I must have been the laughing stock of that entire graduation. Promotion. Whatever the hell that thing was. All I know is that what I thought was, perhaps, noticeable was actually more like WHAT THE HELL?
People. I’m beside myself from the humiliation. I called my friend–the one who’s mom died–and apologized for my hair, realizing that I spent over an hour talking to her under the bright sun and probably melted her retinas with the kaleidoscope of colors shooting off my scalp. Because in the midst of tragedy, you don’t need to be faced with the horror of a bad dye job on someone who is supposed to be handling key portions of your mother’s memorial service. It doesn’t inspire confidence.
I was hoping she would call me crazy and say she didn’t notice a thing but you know what? SHE TOTALLY NOTICED. She said, and I quote, “Oh, really? I just thought you were doing that faded thing that’s really popular right now.”
Faded thing? You mean reverse OMBRE HAIR?
I’m crying again.
Sigh.
So, neon. Not too bright, not too young. I think if I keep it to clear, happy colors that aren’t shocking, I should look fresh, current, and age appropriate. I wish the same could be said of my hair.
- H&M
- Down East basics | Classic Tee
- Old Navy | Women’s Scoop Neck Tee (I own this one!)
- Old Navy | Women’s 3/4 Length Slub-Knit Tee (I own this one, too!)
- Down East basics | Half Sleeve Tee (I’m really excited about this one. It’s almost impossible to find half sleeve tees, which is a shame because they are so flattering for those of us with kielbasa arms.)
- Ruche | Bloomsbury Tee in Kaliedescope (I don’t know about this one. It might be one of those shirts that looks better online than it does in person.)
- Zara | Watercolour Speckled Shirt (For that matter, I’ll take any Zara shirt.)
… a month before I got married, I decided to try and highlight my own hair.
It was (in this order from the roots) – dark brown, tangerine orange and cotton ball white.
Simply gorgeous.
Oh dear … I’m so sorry! And I feel your pain. My hair pulls red quite easily. I died my own hair before going to Florida one time–tried a new color, naturally. Ended up bright red. Between the color and the humidity expanding my curls, if I had worn red lipstick I would have easily been mistaken for Ronald McDonald’s midget brother. Sigh.
Actually, now that I mention it, there have been quite a few times that I’ve cried over my hair. That’s probably a bad sign.
first, i have to say the phrase “respectable neon” cracks me up. makes me think of “church tongue” in the Wedding Singer.
second, and speaking of hair, did i ever tell you the one where i got awarded the prestigious “Best Rat’s Nest” award at summer camp? yeah. still not over that one i guess.
third, c’mon. you have to show us the hair. maybe reverse ombre is the next red lipstick + stripes…
I. Need. Pictures. Reverse ombre might be interesting. Kind of like Terri Nunn in the “No more words” video. That would go well with the neon. About the same time period I think.
new to your blog…love the way you write! you had me crackin’ up (but not actually *at* you and your hair situation, i swear!) can’t wait to explore more of your past posts :)
I’m so sorry about your hair! And I can’t believe that you have gray! I am sure it’s not as bad as you think. Sometimes we are way harder on ourselves than we should be.
You shouldn’t worry too much ,remember hair always grows back and new dye can be reapplied. Besides that a reverse Ombre isn’t too bad.
The first time I attempted to go darker (my hair is a light brown/blonde), my stylist (who is quite good) apparently underestimated the amount of time, and after the wash, my hair was hardly changed. She reapplied the color and instructed me to wear on the 45 minute drive to my house, then wash it out. I trusted her completely. Amazingly, I still do…
I thought it was the fluorescent lighting in my bathroom that resulted in the color of Goth purple. After blowing dry and stepping outside, sure that real light would reveal the actual beautiful chestnut hue, my 7 year old daughter said, “Oh cool! Purple!! AWESOME, Mom!”
AWESOME wasn’t really what I was going for…
For a split second, the next morning, I considered keeping it, as it looked pretty cool combined with a multicolored gypsy skirt. Judy fixed it at the shop the next morning, but I do remember “mortified.” Hugs to you.
Oh, I adore you.
Also, I might need to peek a photo of the offending hair to verify it’s level of offensiveness. :)
My hair is naturally strawberry blonde, but my hairdresser said to use golden blonde, which colored my hair perfect. The last time I went to dye it, the store didn’t have “golden blonde”, but they did have a “strawberry blonde”, so I thought that would work. My hair came out bright reddish-orange & it took forever for it to grow out. So from now on, it’s golden blonde or nothing.
Hopefully, your color will grow out faster than mine did :)
I went through a phase of bad dye jobs. Finally my co-workers bought me a brightly colored clown wig and told me, sternly, next time you want to change your hair again just put that on for a few hours to get it out of your system.
Oh, you too? I just ‘ombre’d’ my hair too on accident. Go figure?
Ombr�? Really, it has a name?!
Shesh. I just thought everybody was trying to grow out their hair color!
Well- at least that’s what I’m doing…
Oh by the way. I’m sorry about your hair drama.
We all have been there- I tried to ‘darken’ my sun bleached/chlorine lightened hair…
Can we say camouflage? Grey, green, ash blond, brown. I think my Mom called it a ‘dead pelt’. Nice huh?
The catch, it was the night before I was leaving for college my freshman year.
To this day, my mom reminds me of the emergency phone call to her hair stylist.
I just wanted to thank you gals for leaving me such nice “pick me up and laugh” comments. :) The memorial service for my friend’s mom was this weekend (I just walked in the door, in fact) and the laughs were just what I needed.
Jeen-Marie, I thought the same thing! I didn’t realize it was trend to sport 4-6 inch roots….
Jules,
I am with you on the respectable neon, I went to beauty school awhile back and that was the last time my wardrobe got a good overhaul, unfortunately the dress code was black and white. Everything I own in monochrome. When I get the chance to buy something I try to buy something in color. I’m tired of looking like I’m going to a funeral or getting married, or a combination of the two. Forever21 was my savng grace this past week. Great colorful pieces and not everything felt like I should be buying it for my 15 year old.
Oh, Jules! I had one home dye disaster and my mom actually sobbed when she saw my purple (!) hair, which was meant to be just slightly auburn. I paid to have the color stripped out of my hair and get something resembling my own put back in. I never touched dye again. Am dreading the time when I have to decide what to do about roots!