It’s rainy around here, which always makes me turn inward. I feel quiet, introspective, and tired. The first two I can attribute to the weather and the month. After months of holidays and birthdays, February always ends with decompression. The tired bit, well, that’s because I have been reading fluff nonstop. More on that next week, but I blame my kindle and free downloads. I’ll have to count them, but I think I’ve read 9 books since the 4 and 40 party.
I’m also a bit down. Do you ever read a blog for no better reason than you can’t stand the blogger? Like, you love to hate them? I call them Omarosa Bloggers. Something about them drives you bonkers and, while you know you’re being petty, you keep coming back to their site just to see how they will annoy you next. I have a couple that I share with friends online and off. Last year, I unsubscribed from the bloggers I truly don’t like ever. It wasn’t nice of me to read someone if all they do is make me want to poke my eyes out with a pencil, and I wouldn’t want it done to me (although I’m sure it is; I’m hardly perfect). So, my new policy is to read bloggers who annoy me 30% of the time or less. I still read some who make me roll my eyes every now and then because, if I am being honest, annoyance is usually a way to disguise jealously. If I am jealous of someone because of their talent, it stands to reason that I can learn something from them and improve my blogging. When I’m not hating them for it.
And I do enjoy reading the other 70% of their posts. That’s the rule: no reading someone you truly can’t stand. Some people don’t follow that rule, and that’s what has me down.
I found a blog devoted to hating The Pioneer Woman, and I mean hating The Pioneer Woman. There is more than one, from what I gather. I admitted above that there are bloggers I can’t stand. I no longer read their blogs, but even when I did, my hate didn’t reach the level of what I read online. I can’t fathom hating someone I don’t know enough to author a daily blog criticizing their looks, their voice, their way of life, or their dog. The people commenting on this blog, and there are a lot of them, even hate Charlie, a defenseless animal.
Ree Drummond isn’t my favorite blogger of all time, but it made me sad. It made me sad to imagine what I would do if I found a blog devoted to hating everything about me. How it would hurt if someone said I was a sheltered, rather stupid sorority girl and Molly Mormon twit who apparently never ventures outside her comfort zone of pretty shoes and pretty people and sugary snacks like they said of C. Jane Kendrick. I’m Catholic so the Molly Mormon part is out, but still. And then there was this NY Times article, which got the mommy blogging haters in a lather. Half of the comments are people proclaiming mommy bloggers are narcissistic, talentless demons. The people who read them are vapid, lazy women with pea-sized brains. The other half of the comments? Bloggers promoting their blogs.
I don’t know, internet. I call bullshit.
Wow. I really didn’t know there were blogs out there about hating other bloggers. Call me naive I guess. Those that hate so much, and have the time to blog about it, apparently need a hobby.
I’m with Julie. I had no idea there were blogs out there hating on other blogs. Some people need to get a life!
P.S. I love that word “vapid.” Awesome post!
I know how you feel. I enjoy my fair share of snarkiness, which probably speaks ill of my character. But the level of plain old nastiness that people are comfortable throwing around on the internet is just insane. At the end of the day, this is free media that you have no obligation to consume.
And I really don’t get the mommy-blog hatred. I work full time and don’t have kids yet, but I still follow lots of mommy blogs. That’s sort of the whole point of reading blogs to me…seeing how people outside your own little world live. Checking out people with completely different circumstances from your own. I don’t want to just constantly reinforce my own lifestyle. That’s boring.
But maybe that’s not the norm…
That reminds me of some of the friends (and I use that term very, very loosely) that I have on Facebook. Their updates and posts make me crazy, and yet… I keep them around.
Regarding blogs, I think your observation about annoyance + jealousy is spot on. I stopped reading design and ‘lifestyle’ blogs (hate that term, btw) for awhile because I found myself getting really annoyed when I would read them. I realized later that much of what I was feeling was simply envy – of things, of homes, and of people.
My rule now is: only a limited number of those types of blogs (<30%), and then only ones that uplift me. I want to walk away from the computer feeling inspired, not depressed.
I like your blogs about blogging. It makes me feel not so crazy that I actually spend time thinking about this stuff.
and this is exactly why my google reader is in a constant state of change. i want the blogs i read to inspire and uplift and encourage and challenge. i don’t want to see the same popular house or paint color or rug blogged about three times; i don’t want to walk away feeling icky or jealous or overwhelmed or irritated or with the sudden need to empty my wallet of all of its contents. mostly what i love are blogs — and bloggers — who are authentic. isn’t that what we’re all looking for?
I think that alot of people like to point the finger and name call
others without realising that pointing a finger and name calling
is not only rude but can reflect poorly on themselves. Sure, we
all have people who irritate us, but then again we must irritate
Someone out there somehow either by the way we dress, our behaviour
Even the way we choose to individually raise our children. In the end
We’ve got to learn from one another especially to acknowledge that
If there is a finger to point it should be pointed at ourselves because
let’s face it, we all have something to work on!!
Oh my goodness. You hit the nail on the head. I have one “Omarosa” blogger on my list and I just can’t stop because I just can’t believe someone is truly that full of themselves. So I keep her on the list because I keep thinking, it can’t get worse, she has to find a way to redeem herself, right? So far it is a no. Maybe this post will help push me over the edge to finally delete her. P.S. Today was a beyond overwhelming day for me and this post made me laugh which I very much needed. So I thank you much.
In testament to my poor character, every time someone posts that they have their own Omarosa blogger, I totally want to know who it is. I am a work in progress, and the progress is slooooooow.
Hanging head in shame – I want to know too.
Oh you have no idea how badly I want to know. As soon as I finished your (awesome) post, I went, ‘Gosh, I wonder who Jules’ Omarosa’s are.’ I have a few, too. I can’t stand them and yet, there I go, checking them again every day.
A whole blog dedicated to blog hating, though? Really people? There is a time and place for a little catiness now and then as long as it’s not going to hurt anyone, but no need to dedicate so much of your own time and energy to being a hater. Mean people just suck.
Good call.
Wow, I must be so naive. I had no clue such blogs existed. I really don’t understand how people can feel good about themselves if they put so much effort into negativity.
You’re not naive. I didn’t know they existed until a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t know there was one for Pioneer Woman (more than one, actually) until last night.
It’s so sad how much hate there is in the world. :( I do my very best to try not to be jealous or envy too much…but by goly, it’s hard!
So, I try to surround myself by as many lovely people and joy and happiness and love as possible! Yourself included!
I’m Omarosa aren’t I? This is a good post, and it is timely for me as just today I FINALLY unsubscribed from two blogs that were really just bringing out the worst in me. When you find yourself constantly complaining about what people write, it’s time to look away — they aren’t going to change and you’re just going to turn into an asshole. Sometimes it takes me a bit too long to figure this out, though.
Hah! I imagine some people do think you’re Omarosa. Honestly, though, I don’t. I think you have a big bark and aren’t one to be overly warm and fuzzy with those outside a very tight circle, but underneath all that faux curmudgeon exterior you’re a nice person. You wouldn’t treat the cats you don’t even like as well as you do if you were as crotchety as you pretend to be. You’re a tootsie roll pop! It just takes 25 decabillion licks to get to your soft and chewy center. ;)
It’s taken me a long time to unsubscribe from some blogs, too.
wow. That is a WHOLE LOT of energy wasted on nothing.
I really never knew these types of devoted blogs existed. I have blogs I read that I may find insipid now and then, but can I expect to like anyone all of the time? Present company/writer excluded : )
I have also turned a blind eye to fb “friends” that are a bit hateful now and then. I know the only person I can change is me.
I’m off to recap the week at gofugyourself now….. lol.
Hmmm. People love to hate and then get traffic and possibly make a few bucks by writing about these other blogs. Instead of riding off the backs of other people’s hard work they need to create their own narrative with their authentic self.
Oh, wait, the problem is they don’t have the talent.
Read a post yesterday from Miss Mustard Seed in which she mentions the hate. I could not believe it! The woman comes across as being so sweet. And I fully appreciate her talent in turning thrift store finds into great pieces.
Anyway, great post. I don’t plan on unsubscribing anytime in the future. Even when you are feeling inward.
Wow, this was an enlightening post to be sure. I never realized there were blogs out there like these. I have to say there are some blogs I don’t like, but I wouldn’t waste my time blogging about them… I just don’t go back to them.
I admit there are a couple of blogs out there that are like a bad car accident to me. You know, you don’t want to but you just have to look. Their lives seem so perfect, with their beautiful homes, caring husbands, and perfect children. It appears they have no worries whatsoever. I know this cannot possibly be true but I find myself going back for more punishment. What is that???
I used to read a blog that I thought was just by a woman living in small town mid-America. Then it became a PW bashing machine around the same time that the author declared her switch to atheism. I could totally handle reading about her faith or lack there of. But the posts dedicated to hating another person really got to me. I tried to read a few of them because I kept thinking that I would learn what had ultimately caused the hatred to begin. But it never happened. So I finally stopped. And I try to stay away from that blog now. It’s too mean.
First of all, NINE books? Okay I am jealous of you, officially.
And yes, I have an Omarosa who is not in my google reader, yet I check in on her occasionally. She is so un-interesting that I can’t help but wonder what silly observations she has about mothering each and every week. Then I call my friend and we both say, “What a moron.” It’s really not nice. I feel bad about it. It goes against everything that inspires me to blog at all.
…At the same time, people who love to write come in all shapes and colors and some of them just plain suck at writing. It’s the very same demon as the part of us who reads tabloids to see movie stars looking shitty and hungover as they walk to their car.
Thanks for this post. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one.
I wouldn’t be jealous of me. I’m running on little sleep and haven’t exactly been reading Shakespeare.
I enjoy Omarosa Blogger much more than my Train-Wreck Blogger. I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours. Hee-hee!
Oh my goodness, I could have written this post. I too follow some people (and thankfully, it’s a decreasing number because my time is getting too previous) just to get annoyed, but also recoil in horror from the idea of publically hating them (eg through a hate blog).
Wow. I can’t get into the NY Times article, but from what you described, I couldn’t disagree more. The mommy bloggers I follow and enjoy are very talented women who “Wow” the socks off of me with their talent in writing, picture-taking, and just plain entertainment. And to call them talentless with pea-sized brains? My first thought actually goes to you, who is probably the most talented “mommy” out there with your crazy awesome writing skills, thoughtfulness, and mammoth vocabulary. For the record, Jules, you don’t fit into that article’s description. Whatever it said.
Thank you. It wasn’t the article that was bad. The comments…those were bad. Many of the people who took the time to comment were criticizing bloggers. I just skimmed the comments again, and I can’t find the comments that were harsh. I don’t know if that’s because NY Times deleted some or because there are 7 pages worth and I missed them. Here’s one that is similar to the ones I was thinking of.
PLEASE PLEASE stop with the coverage of these silly, narcissistic pseudo-writers. These “blogs” are the reason that civilization is doomed. These women aren’t writers! They are marketers exploiting their families, their privacy and their ideals (or lack thereof) . These sites are ridiculous, modern day soap operas and reek of commercialism. First Emily Gould, now Heather Armstrong and Ree Drummond. Why must the NYTimes continue to cover this drivel? Why?
i don’t understand how people who keep up these “hate blogs” find themselves any better than those they write about! they aren’t coming up with any of their own content, but instead taking their time to read the blog they hate, and then comment on it. how is that not a soap opera in and of itself?
le sigh. :::shaking my head:::
not that i don’t have my own omarosa blogs demons, but i get really tired of people who hide behind the anonymity the internet provides, and use the medium to just tear people down. i try to live by the thought that if i wouldn’t say it to your face, i won’t say it on your blog/site.
Well said. Agreed on all counts. Some folks have way too much time on their hands.
Unrelated: I wish to commend you on use of the term “Omarosa Bloggers” and think we should extend this term far beyond the realms of blogging. I think I fully-fledged all-occasions adjective is in order.
It is sad, and it is such a huge waste of time. I’ll admit that I have a few blogs that I peek in on from time to time even though I know they’ll annoy me (usually if I have a quiet lunch break and I’ve already gone through my reader!). But I don’t waste much energy on it, because I just don’t have that much energy to waste.
The bottom line in blogging is that you can’t connect with everyone. There will always be people that don’t draw you in, and people you don’t draw in. And that’s fine. We don’t have to be best friends with everyone, but we do have to be decent people.