On Thursday, April 16, 2009, I stopped snacking and eating sugar. Well, sort of. I eat a fruit every morning. And if I am really craving a sweet treat late at night, I drink a glass of Crystal Light.
I drink a glass of Crystal Light. Hi, my name is Pathetic and I will be dining alone. Table for one, please.
I went from eating fistfuls of popcorn and the occasional Reeses Peanut Butter Cup (Thanks, Easter!) to absolutely nothing. Consequently, I’ve been a raging lunatic most of the week. But, I’m complicated. It’s not just white hot rage that has me crashing the hopes young children just because it’s fun to watch them cry. (No, Mikey, YOU CAN’T have that chocolate bunny for breakfast! HAHAHAHAHA!)
No, my rage is a product of two things: withdrawals and intolerance for days-on-end pain.
Today is the first day I haven’t woken up with a headache since Thursday. I’ve read sugar withdrawals (headaches, depression, anger, etc.) can last up to seven days, sometimes more, so I consider myself lucky. I expect the sudden urge to kick a kitten only sporadically from here on out. I credit the garage sale we had on Saturday for my speedy trip through detox. So may losers, so little time. I sized up each person that walked up our cracked driveway with the razor-like precision of a person without faults. For one day only, I was perfect. And ruthless.
Bonus points to the cocky Guatemalan guy who let me work out my childhood issues. Dude, you thought you were bargaining for a set of four prints from Target, but IT WAS SO MUCH MORE.
That brings us to the present. A beautiful day in southern California, and I’m eating strawberries and plain yogurt. Happily. I’m going to try my hand at some home improvement projects, do some writing, and enjoy my children more than I have the last few days. Today is going to be a great day.