They were supposed to be cookies, a quick and dirty way for me to use up an overripe banana while the chicken finished roasting in the oven.  They were also my key to ten minutes of quite.  Nicholas had been begging me for another cookie, gummy or “ga-rola” bar.  He didn’t care which, really, so long as it was sweet and filled his stomach before dinner.

“If you go play with Mikey for ten minutes, I will make you both cookies.”  He went and played with Mikey, but for no more than three minutes.

I decided on the Banana-Maple Oatmeal Cookies by Susan of Fat Free Vegan and adapted the recipe to accommodate my bare cupboards.  The chia seeds I replaced with one egg, the lemon juice with apple cider vinegar, and the white wheat flour with whole wheat pastry flower.  I didn’t have enough maple syrup.

The pastry flour was the death knell.  I remember reading somewhere that you should decrease the amount of regular flour by a tablespoon or two when you substitute it for pastry flour.  Working in reverse, I decided to increase the amount of pastry flour in the recipe by two tablespoons, which somehow turned into 1/2 cup.  The recipe said to avoid overworking the dough, but I beat it with the strength of a thousand men.  I never did make up for that missing maple syrup.  Oops.

Before we sat down to dinner I dropped the cookies on the silpat and tossed them into the oven.  They emerged 10 minutes later looking the same only darker, as if they had just returned from a week-long vacation in Cancun.    I touched one gingerly and found it very, very hard.

They were supposed to be cookies, but these weren’t cookies.  Doorstops, sandbags, pucks, bricks, discs, patties, heels, blocks, ingots, and maybe even stones.  But not cookies.

Stones.

“Maaaamaaa!  Is it time for cookies now?”

Stones.

“We ate all our dinner!”

Stones.  Stones?  Stones!

“Uh, I changed my mind about the cookies.”  This I said while I slathered them in butter and drizzled honey over the top.

I returned to the table with two plates of scones.

“Mama, what are scones?”

“Granola bars.”

Ten seconds later, Nicholas pronounced them delicious ga-rola bars.  He choked and threw up the second one, but I took it as a compliment.

You should always substitute your ingredients precisely.  If you don’t have enough of a wet ingredient, be sure to add moisture any way you can.  Don’t ever overwork your dough and add enough maple syrup.  But even if you don’t heed this advice it’s okay.  There isn’t a poorly baked item a solid marketing plan can’t repair.

They’re here!

But, I don’t know about these guys.  They aren’t lined (I knew they weren’t) and despite knowing how much of a pet peeve unlined curtains are for me, I still bought them.  And, yet, knowing they weren’t lined and consciously making the decision to buy them regardless, I still groused about the fact they weren’t lined ten seconds after they were up.

Also, you have no idea how I pleased I am that an opportunity to use the word “grouse” has all but fallen in my lap.  It beats the word “grumble” by ten, at least.

So, the curtains.  They aren’t lined.  And is the silk too twee?  Too formal against all that rough and tumble stone?  I’m not too worried about how they hang.  They’ll look better once I iron and then train them properly.  They are hanging on double rods, so I can always put sheers behind them.  Plus, I was thinking of hanging some bamboo matchstick blinds for more texture.  (Can you tell I am now paranoid about having enough texture?  I’m about ready to glue-gun a cotton ball installation on the south wall.)

Silk?  Canvas/burlap/linen/velvet?

I repeat: good a good decorator/designer is worth their weight in gold.

A good interior decorator or designer is worth their weight in gold.  The amount I have spent in paint, paint samples, curtains, furniture, and God knows what else would easily cover their professional fee along with a few core pieces for the house.

Last week I spent over $40 in paint samples.  I tested nearly every color I posted about last week plus a few more.  (All this because Sisal, the awesome color Maria recommended, is unavailable thanks to The Home Depot no longer selling the Ralph Lauren line.  I could have color matched it, but that’s too simple a solution, isn’t it?)  Some of the paint colors I tried were okay, some were unspeakably bad.  But, even the ones that were okay didn’t look any better than what I already have on the wall.  So, guess what?  I’m not painting the walls.  I’m leaving them as is (Devonshire by Ralph Lauren) and am embracing the fireplace.  More on that in a minute.

I find it funny that an over-educated book worm like me can know so little about design.  Even worse, most of the time I don’t even know what I don’t know.  I was chatting with Seleta last week about how flat a pale color scheme looks in my home.  I would love a tone on tone room, but it seems so cold and stark; I can’t figure out how the rest of blog land makes it look so darn welcoming and warm.  Seleta, a designer, was kind enough to point out the obvious.  My fireplace is large; it commands most of one wall.  One wall of rough, natural, boulders in shades of gold, copper, caramel, butterscotch, plum (!), and lavender (!!).  In order to make the fireplace work in a room with a pale or tone on tone color scheme, I need to add incredible amounts of texture to balance all the texture in the fireplace.

Well, duh.  Now that she puts it that way.  Oh well, it’s a boring day the day you don’t learn something new, right?

Which brings me to Plan G for the living room.  (Note that plans B-F wouldn’t have happened with a designer.)  The walls stay as is.  The fireplace becomes the star, diva that it is.  No longer will I try to beat it into submission with bold curtains or deep wall colors.  Instead, I went ahead and bought new curtains in antique gold from Overstock that should take the colors of the fireplace all around the room.  Hold me.

I bought the curtains sight unseen, obviously, so I am a little nervous.  I am fairly confident it will look fine after placing one of my silk curtains from the den/toyroom up next to the fireplace as a test run.  That’s what you see in the picture above, and I don’t find it objectionable, do you?  Speaking of objections, I know I give my fireplace a hard time (it is a bear for a novice to decorate around) but look at those stones and the variations of color.  Isn’t it just amazing the beauty nature can produce?

Just a word of precaution–if you at all value your time, don’t use the Sherwin Williams Color Visualizer.  It’s a rabbit hole of paint, people.  Five hours later you will look at the clock in disbelief.  (Then you’ll go back to playing with paint.)  But, if you decide to ignore my advice, you may want to use my technique and leave small strips of original wall paint visible.  I tested out some colors that ended up not looking much different from what I have on the wall, even though the little chip on the fan deck made me think they were worlds apart in terms of hue and undertone.

For my sister in law, most of the dark colors appear olive on her end.  That’s a monitor issue because in real life the paint chips are all different and, with the exception of Superior Bronze, none of them are remotely olive.  Kind of a bummer, since I would have valued her opinion.  Do you see a difference in the colors?  Which are your favorites?  You can say none of the above! Trust me, I have many, many more paint colors to play with.

Sherwin Williams, Porpoise

Sherwin Williams, Sable

Sherwin Williams, Superior Bronze

Sherwin Williams, Virtual Taupe

Sherwin Williams, Warm Stone

Sherwin Williams, Tony Taupe

Sherwin Williams, Natural Choice

Sherwin Williams, Rice  Grain

Sherwin Williams, Wool Skein

We finally updated the Mamie pink bathroom enough so that I can show you some of it without bowing my head in shame.  Yes, this is the same pink and acid green bathroom I had Sherry from Young House Love design around.  I wanted–no, demanded–happy pink and yellow.  Then I painted the bathroom and realized I love many things, but not pink and yellow together.  Just in case you don’t feel like link hopping, here is the before:

And here is the after:

Since the pink and yellow didn’t look how I imagined, I decided to make all the changes Sherry suggested, just using the Modern Estancia look I plan to use throughout the house [re: masculine, rustic, dark, with a touch of die-hard Catholic grandma]. We are about 50% done. We still have to caulk everything, lay down baseboards, buy a special L-shaped curtain rod, a shower curtain, and cabinet knobs and pulls. (I have yet to find some I love, so I followed Nicole’s excellent suggestion and kept in place the originals until the right ones come along.)  I was able to do everything for roughly $300.  When you add in everything we have left to do, the total cost will be around $500.

The floor is Home Depot’s peel and stick floor tiles in a faux wood parquet pattern. They are a perfect match to the oak floors in the hallway and tolerate a ridiculous amount of splashing from the boys nicely.  I painted the vanity a dark brown using my favorite Ralph Lauren paint.  I can’t remember the color and the can doesn’t have a label (?!) but I think it was Galvanized.  I would know it if I saw the chip, so if anyone wants the color, let me know.  The walls are Cameo Pink, also by Ralph Lauren.

The paint and flooring were the cheapest part of the makeover.  The most expensive items are boring things, like frames.  Ordinary, not at all special, frames!  What a bother.  I used these simple Target frames in wood to frame prints from the Museo de Prado my mom bought The Mister and I nine years ago when she was at a conference in Spain.  I didn’t like them at the time, but didn’t have the heart to get rid of them.  Of course, now they work perfectly with everything and are proof that mothers always know best.

Part of the reason I couldn’t part with them is because of the way the museum decided to print them.  They are a very thin canvas on top of a stiff burlap.  A little tag details the title and artist.

On the left is Paisaje Nevado by Pieter “el Joven” Brueghel.

On the right is Las Meninas by Diego Rodríguez de Silva Velázquez.  Quick side story–my mom had the “de” in her last name, too, which is typically what you would add as a young bride in the 60s to signify you now belong to your husband’s family.  Like, you know, chattel or a pair of pillows from Pottery Barn.  When they arrived in the U.S., the first thing my mom did was drop the “de” because, her words, “I am not a lamp.”

My favorite print to date, Neapolitan Abe by Justin Richel on etsy. I adore everything in his shop. His Big Wigs series must be new.  I was just looking at his shop last month and had I seen these, I would own at least a few by now.

The pennant garland was a gift from Krista Knott in appreciation of the hard work Tristan and I put into The Bright Side Project.  Can you believe that?  Krista has never been featured on The BSP and only did it as a way to give back because she knows Tristan and I don’t make money on the project (yet–God?) and spend hours everyday trying to make it a positive and fun place to visit.  Anyway, I love my garland.  I’ve been looking for a place to put these up where I could admire them daily, and I think this is the perfect spot.

More of my mom.  The toothbrush and toothpaste holder is actually an aluminum beer stein my parents received as a gift (it’s part of a set) when they got married.  I used to fill those bad boys up with coke every summer as a kid.  The frame was another gift from my mom that I had no idea what to do with but works perfectly here.  Likewise, so is the chameleon silver vase from Mexico.  Clearly, my mother’s entire gift giving career has been in preparation for this bathroom.

And that’s it.  My Mamie pink bathroom, updated.  Eventually we will do the remodel, but for now I am happy.

Oh, and because weeks (more like months) from now my mom will read this post, I will save her the trouble of a phone call and say, yes, mom, that silver is completely tarnished.  Look! Here is a close up of my indignity:

Are you ready for this, Mom?  I have no plans to polish the vase anytime soon. Scandal.

I thought I would share the project I was working on so diligently while Rembrandt was working on the sofa and chair.  But first, a back story.

When we moved into this house three years ago, we knew we would have to remodel the kitchen.  The turquoise tile was original, as was the buttercup yellow stove.  The oven was a 1970s brown beast, and the cabinets were 1980s refaced country wonders.  I’m not opposed to keeping original fixtures, but the kitchen had become a hodge podge of decades, and I wasn’t about to add to it.  Plus, I was practicing as an attorney; we had the money to put into a new kitchen.  That is, until I decided to become a stay at home mom in the middle of the remodel, a decision I’ve talked about before.  We made compromises and downgraded the appliances, the floor, and put off the back splash.  That was four years ago.

Since the Mister was laid off last January (and his new job isn’t anywhere near his previous salary) we still don’t have the money for a proper back plash, but after four years I’ve grown tired of staring at a bare wall and decided that I would have to do something, preferably with items I already possess.  I didn’t have a pallet of subway tiles in my garage, but I did have boxes of pictures from our grandparents dating to around the 1940s.  I’ve been holding on to them, not sure how I would use them, when it occurred to me one day that I was looking at my back splash.

A quart of Ralph Lauren paint in Polo Green (my new favorite color), some IKEA frames, and an afternoon spent looking at pictures of a grandmother I’ve only seen a handful of times because we live (sadly) in two different continents gave me a new-to-me back splash that I love.

The kitchen the month we moved in:

The kitchen this morning:

I hung five pictures dating back to the 1930s of my family on the left.

And five picture of The Mister’s family dating back to the 1940s on the right.

The paint is a gorgeous, inky color that changes with the light. It’s black, it’s green, it’s blue. Here is a great example of the difference between morning and late afternoon light.

The only thing left is to hang some vintage post cards of Buenos Aires I found on ebay, order and install a two 3 gang-way switch plates in black, new window treatments, and find something to place over the stove. Any suggestions for the stove or window treatments? You know how I love me some links.

{the very bad before}

Ah, good times.

Tackling this mess took some doing.  The items I used to clean up the permanent marker are as follows:

• FOLEX

• Lift Off No. 3

• Oxi Clean

• Rubbing Alcohol

• Tide with Bleach Alternative

• Tide Stain Release

• Blood, sweat, tears.

{the morning after}

Now for the process everyone wants to hear about.  By the way, you all don’t fool me one bit.  The only reason you want to know is because if you know how to remove Sharpie from fabric, you will most likely never have to remove Sharpie from fabric.  It’s kind of like bringing a first aid kit on a short trip because you know if you don’t bring the kit, that’s when someone’s going to lose an eye.  It’s okay, I don’t blame you. :)

The first thing I did was to spray the arm of the gray arm chair with some Folex.  Not a lot, but just to see what I was dealing with.  This wasn’t the first time a marker kissed the furniture, but it was my first time dealing with permanent marker.  With the regular marker, the Folex cleaned it up right before my eyes.  This time, the red just bled into the fabric.  It did not fade in the least.

I panicked and called a carpet cleaner who advertised upholstery cleaning as well.  He estimated it would cost about $120-$140 to clean, and without thinking I booked him.  Luckily, I was on the phone almost constantly with my sister in law, Stephanie (my brother in law’s wife, not my brother’s wife who just had the baby), and she balked at the price.  She thought that since the company wasn’t offering any guarantees, the money would be better spent on slip covers or towards a new sectional.  She was right, so I called and canceled the appointment and decided to do what I could to remove the stains.  I headed out to buy the Lift Off No. 3, Oxi Clean, and strong laundry detergent.  While I was at the store I saw the Tide Stain Release and tossed that in the cart as well.

I got home and decided to forget the arms (the left arm of the sofa was covered, too, although it isn’t in the picture) and started working on the cushion covers, which I could at least remove from the sofa and chair.  I suspected the only way to remove the stains was with a long soak, making the arms a lost cause.

I unzipped all the cushions and sprayed them heavily and meticulously with Lift Off No. 3.  There was minimal improvement, meaning the marks faded, but only to a bright pink.  I gave up and threw the covers in a full washer of warm water.  You should know that the tags say clearly to avoid wet washing.  I didn’t care.  I knew I ran the risk of the fabric coming apart (it’s happened to me before with other furniture) but it’s not like I had a lot of options.

The sofa and chair are a year old.  We do not allow dogs or shoes on the furniture.  Still, when I put those covers in the washer the water turned BROWN.  Brown, like tea.  It was really one of the most disgusting things I have ever seen and I had to drain the wash and start all over again.  In only a year, the fabric had absorbed I don’t even know how many kilos of dust.  Disgusting, and my new reason for buying washable slip covered furniture or leather in the future.

After I refilled the washer, I added about 1/4 of a small container of Oxi Clean and soaked for about 30 minutes, as instructed.  I then added Tide and two Tide Stain Release packets according to the instructions.   I washed everything on hand wash/extra delicate.

One cushion turned out okay, the rest looked like they hadn’t even been touched.

I did everything over again.  I laid out all the cushions and again sprayed them with Lift Off No 3, this time letting the solution sit for 30 minutes, during which time I read all the recommendations here.  Several people suggested alcohol, so I went I grabbed some from the medicine cabinet.

The marker disappeared when I applied the alcohol (like magic!) but as soon as it dried it would return again.  I really don’t know what to make of that, except maybe the stains were in layers?  Still, I applied the alcohol to each cushion cover.

Back into the washer, more warm water, more oxi clean.  This time, however, I soaked them for a couple of hours.  After that, I pulled them out for a spot check.  It didn’t look much better, but I added the Tide, the Tide Stain Release, and washed it all on delicate again.

Two came out looking good, two looked like the stains had faded slightly.

Repeat everything again. (spray, scrub, dab, soak, wash)

Stains look lighter.

Repeat everything again. (spray, scrub, dab, soak, wash)

Green cover looked clean, gray one looked like it needed one more round, but it was nearing 10:00 pm.  I decided to let the covers dry, including the gray one, and just flip it so no one can see the pink.  One day, if I am feeling saucy, I will spray, scrub, dab, soak, and wash the cover again.

It was time to start working on the arms.  For that, I alternated between Folex and Lift Off No. 3.  I saturated the arms and frames of the sofa and chair.  Saturated.  I went through nearly an entire roll of paper towels (you have to use something white or the color from your towels could bleed as well!) and all the white wash clothes in the house.

A couple of disclosures and pieces of advice:

The sofa and chair look much better online than they do in real life.  The arms still have one or two stains, but I think they are something I could remove with more elbow grease, Folex, and Lift Off No 3.

The problem with Folex and Lift Off No. 3 is that  you really have to saturate the stains for them to work.  This means that, sometimes, there is a line of demarcation where the stain removers evaporate from the fabric.  It’s like editing a picture in photo shop without using your feathering tool.  I believe that I will have to have the sofa and chair professionally cleaned if I want to get rid of this very faint, yet visible, line.

My cushion covers, most cushion covers, should not ever see the inside of a washing machine.  But, too bad.  They (luckily!) did not tear or fray, although some of the threads on the inside did get very tangled after the first wash.  I cut those as delicately as I could.  One thing I did this time that I haven’t done before (and I think really worked) was to stand by the machine while the washer drained.  When there was almost no water left, I carefully took out each cushion and made sure to turn them right side out, snip any loose threads, and return them to the washing machine in a neat fashion.  I didn’t realize until my first spot check how tangled everything gets in a washer, even on hand wash/delicate.  The cushions were half inside out, one nearly inside the other, etc. and I think something similar may have contributed to the tears I have experienced in the past.

Lastly, as good as the sofa and chair look, they will need professional cleaning.  The multiple washes the cushions received means they now look much cleaner than the poor frame of the sofa and chair.  It’s not obvious in person (too much) but I can tell the difference.  Plus, the thought that the backs are as dusty as the seats is giving me the vapors.

So, that’s how I did it.  Feel free to ask any questions! :)