The In Between
It’s hard not to love a boy who looks up from his math workbook and asks, “Mom, can I make myself a bow-tie before I start my reading homework?”
Mikey, with all his quirks and opinions and outlandish behavior, is easy to love. It’s easy to like him, too, which is even better.
The other day he passed me in the hallway holding a pirate sword and wearing two baseball hats, a plaid shirt, and a wooden fence that belongs to a Melissa and Doug Barn scene. When asked, because I had to ask, he looked himself up and down and in a slow voice said, “Mom. I’m going jousting.” The “duh” was implied.
Mikey is in the “in between.” Not a teen, not a little boy. He gets lippy and bossy. Sometimes he’s mean to Nicholas and takes advantage of his weaknesses. He loves the History Channel and Lego cartoons. He reads and reads and reads until he knows everything about a subject. Then he moves on. Right now, it’s knights and the middle ages. I worry about his recent interest in battles and military history and guns and sword fights until I remember once reading a book on raising sons that said most boys of a certain age, when given the chance, will make guns out of peanut butter sandwiches.
He’s nervous around wild animals and terrified of sharks. He won’t even look at pictures of them. His imagination is like mine, active to a fault, so he is often afraid of the dark and what it may be hiding. I remember being afraid of the dark at his age. I offered to buy him a Dream Light for when he wakes up in the middle of the night, but he said they were “way too baby.”
Then, when I think I’ve lost him forever to testosterone, he’ll ask me to snuggle him to sleep. He’ll read Magic Treehouse to Nicholas before bed and play dolls because it makes his baby cousin happy. He’ll admit he still likes Yo Gabba Gabba. At 3:00 am I’ll feel a presence in the room and there he is, standing next to my side of the bed. He slides in as soon as I pull back the covers, molding himself to me while he answers my unspoken question.
“Scooby Doo, mama. It was about werewolves.”
It’s a good time to be Mikey’s mom.
lovely post. He sounds like such a fab kid
Thank you, Charlotte. I like to think he is.
Should I be concerned that I totally knew he was dressed for jousting? From the sounds of things, he’s a great boy, headed for great things!
Well, since you are friends with a real life Medievalist, I’d say no–that’s part of the job description.
The use of the fence is priceless! Those in-between years can be tough, and it’s so nice to hear someone who recognizes and appreciates what is happening. These years are hard for them too, when their physical, emotional, an intellectual “ages” rarely fit together easily.
Yes, I think he’s a bunch of puzzle pieces right now that almost fit, but not quite.
The use of the fence was absolutely my favorite part.
I’m all teary-eyed, so, so sweet.
Thanks, Tristan.
p.s. I miss you! I don’t like you living so far away.
You are a beautiful writer and a beautiful mother. Your words just gave me chills. You inspire me to be a better mother myself to my 3 little ones. I love your description – the in between. I have one of those too. Even though they’re little, they can be surprisingly complex, can’t they? Thank you for all you share.
They’re little with sometimes very adult emotions. It’s a trip. Sometimes good, sometimes not. I love him, and I love this age. (Most of the time.)
I’m teary, too!
my oldest daughter just started kindergarten last week. I feel like she’s between “little kid” and “big kid”. It made me realize that the days of little kid-ness and the simplicity of it are numbered, and whenever I think about that I just get a knot in my stomach. Sometimes I wish I could keep her little forever.
I remember doing that with Mikey, but Nico just started Kinder and when I compare him to Mikey, I see a little baby! Such is the plight of the youngest child.
I always got sad, but as they get older I’m finding that it’s awesome in it’s own way.
Taylor declared the other day that she is either going to marry Jake from class, or Mikey, because they’re both nice, and she wants a nice boy like her daddy. queue the Awwwwwww
Best comment ever! I wouldn’t mind having you for an in-law…not one bit!
To have a mother that can see her son with such tenderness and love – that just makes me happy beyond words. You have endeared Mikey to me, too. I imagine it’s a pretty good time to be Mikey, as well as Mikey’s mom.
Love to you both. xox
Don’t make me cry, Lianne.
This post. Are you trying to make me cry at work?
Yes! Did it work?
Imaginative kids are the best! Go you that you nurture that in all its forms in your boys and find the ways to allow him to be in-between without pushing him to the next step.
Thanks, Kathryn.
I share your feelings. As the mom of a now 3rd grader I am thrilled that he still hugs me when I pick him up and is delighted to see me, but I know those days are numbered
I have taken to hugging him tight first thing when I wake him up, before he’s wide awake and before we’ve had time to clash over some little thing.
Oh this post makes me so excited to welcome into the world a little boy of my own. Thanks for sharing, Jules …
What a truly beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes as well. You have an amazing boy Jules. I reread this a few times and enjoyed every word.
I love that he still calls you mama. I hope my almost 5 year old continues to do so for many more years as it melts my heart when she does.
Oh the sweetness! Thank you for sharing these darling moments in your son’s childhood with us
~ I loved it from top to bottom!
That bowtie picture is gorgeous
This post made ME love your son. Especially the very active imagination part. He’s so lucky to have a momma who gets that werewolves on Scooby Doo can be horrifying at night.
Wow, what an extraordinary post. You captured it all so eloquently, especially the love. Tearing up myself!
Mikey is looking so grown up!!!! I keep telling boobear to stay small but she’s having none of it:(