I did a social media fast in 2019. The book Deep Work, by Cal Newport, which I read in 2016, first put the idea in my head. I read his next book, Digital Minimalism, during my fast. I thought I would love a book focussed on the ruinous effect social media has on productivity, but it was a rehash of Deep Work’s best chapters. Skip it.
The fast went well, but I did miss interacting with people online. I came back toward the end of October because Mikey needed to create a social media account for a theology class–a flimsy excuse to return if ever there was one. My microscopic community on my tiniest sliver of the internet welcomed me back with open arms. I was happy; I stayed.
The end of 2019 and the beginning of 2020 were quiet in my section of Instagram, where I spent most of my social media time. I scrolled and posted pictures. In February 2020, a health situation in China hit the news. By March, I checked Twitter obsessively. On March 13, 2020, our Bishop closed the Diocesan school campuses. Online learning began, and so did my obsession with Instagram. I began documenting our days sheltered in place for our family Chatbooks. Day 1, day 38, day 76, day 162, and today, day 217.
As the days went on, the sense of disquietude online increased. Everyone was right, no one was wrong, and calumny abounded. I could almost hear the familiar click-clack of an ascending roller coaster. That stretch of a roller coaster is called a lift-hill, where a mechanical device carries the cart up an incline to an elevation high enough where gravity can propel the cart down and forward. Social media was my lift-hill. It brought me to a peek and waited for gravity to do the rest.
I need a break from the roller coaster, so I am stepping back from social media for an indeterminate amount of time. I did not do it sooner because there were two things about my 2019 fast that I disliked.
I felt disconnected and forgotten. I felt excluded from the goings-on of my extended family because I wasn’t on social media. My number one concern this time around is keeping up with the lives of my nieces. One is away at college, and three are at home. My solution is to become the annoying aunt who texts for updates and “pictures, please!”
I also lost my community. Before Instagram became my sinking quagmire, it was a fun place to talk with people about books, food, and my goal to live like an eccentric British grandmother with a weekend home. If I retreat entirely from the internet, I can no longer share pictures of rooms festooned with chintz. I was really at a loss trying to figure out how to keep calm and share on until yesterday when I saw this post from Kelly Rae Roberts. She shared her hopes, fears (in a touchy-feely tone I am incapable of), and solutions, which I promptly adopted as my own. I do not have a newsletter, storefront, IG store page, or an online class, but I do have a blog I pay for monthly. Might as well use it!
Blogging seems like as good a compromise as any. I am still online, hopefully talking to people with similar interests, but away from the melee happening in social media. Most important of all, I can still share aspirational eccentric-grandmother-with-a-weekend home images. And on that note…
Buckle up, everyone. There is way more chintz where that came from, and I am just getting started. I hope you stick around for a far more floral and far less exciting/bumpy/contentious ride.
Buckling my seat belt! I am looking forward to this ride. I find I have been spending less and less time on the socials because of all the unpleasantness. I love your quiet kind corner of the internet.
Thank you. That means a lot. :)
I loved your online spaces long before Instagram and I’m glad you’re here again. Can’t wait for chintz, books, and all things – sweet and salty.
Yay! I’m happy you are meeting me here. :)
Welcome home.
It’s so good to see you here.
Your British Grandmotherly spaces have surprised me. I am very much a minimalist in home decor, but goodness do I love the rooms you’ve shared. I need to find a little corner of a space in my house for a spot of – I’ll call it BGS.
Haha! :) You aren’t the first person to say that to me. I sort of surprised myself at first, until I remembered my love of the movie Green Card and how I decorated our first home–which was before blogging was even an idea. I guess it’s true what they say– the older you get, the more you come into your own.
So glad you’ll still share on the blog! That’s where I found you way back in the early William Morris Project days, then followed over to IG. I really enjoy your writing and perspective, and am happy to keep following along here, which already feels calmer and more peaceful! ❤️
Thank you! I’m glad you’re here. :) My goal is to keep it calm and peaceful. I think we’re all pretty good at finding the frustrating and stressful bits of life. I don’t need to add to it.
Love your posts so if that means losing you on Instagram, that’s cool.
Sorry for your loss!
Also, um, how do you get succulents to look so healthy?
Hah! Well, they are hanging on a west-facing porch and get hit by blazing sun every day. My husband waters them every week or two. We also live in a dry climate. We are zone 9b.
I started reading your blog before IG. I think it was a post about North & South and it’s spectacular ending. I love reading everything you write and I even enjoy all the pictures of your feet on walks. I’m at the stage of kids where nice things aren’t a good idea but I loooove your couch. I hope once my boys are big I can have an exciting couch too ;)
Thank you! :) You know, I still sometimes go on YouTube and watch that ending. Richard Armitage! As for the couch, do you mean the new green one? I love it, too. Don’t rule nice things out! We had an IKEA sofa with slipcovers for a looong time and it looked pretty nice. We had white slipcovers and a royal blue, and both went into the wash!
Glad you will continue to share here with us…this is where I started with you and have always loved your voice.
Than you, Nora. That is very nice of you to say. I’m glad to still be here. :)
I’ve followed you since your stroller/escalator mishap and while I don’t check blogs often these days will make an exception for you! You were missed last time you were gone!
Oh, wow! That was a long time ago! Don’t forget my second stroller mishap, where I was taking pictures and the stroller rolled off without me noticing. Mother of the Year, right here.
I’ll definitely be joining you here, Jules. Looking forward to reading whatever you choose to share!
Thank you, Naomi! :)
I love and understand this.
I’m so glad you are in this space and have kept at it – it’s valuable and while it may be more quiet than the constant deluge of opinions and photos, maybe that’s what we should all be focusing on.
I’ll be here.
I would love for you to return to blogging! I miss those days. Thank you for following me here. :)
Not a slave to instagram, I’ve missed you! Glad to see you back here.
Thank you, Barbara! I do like Instagram, but not right now.
Yes! I gave up Facebook 3 weeks ago and I haven’t looked back. I’m still on IG but also love reading blog newsletters. I’m so glad you are staying around just in a different way.
I don’t spend much time on FB, thank goodness, but I know a lot of people who have had to walk away. We all have our lines in the sand. Mine right now is Instagram. How does a blog newsletter work? Does it summarize the posts for the week?
Over the last few years have become much more silent, pressing hearts quietly without discussion. Hopefully, like all good friendships, we can pickup again, catchup and find our footing. It’s good to read your words birthday twin, looking forward to sharing dialogues filled with fabulous chintz, Morris aesthetic, and characteristically warm humour.
I haven’t seen that eye in a while! I hope you are doing well. :)
I love this. Finding something I enjoyed on IG feels impossible. Finding your post about using tin foil to polish silver is easy. Bonus points that Cal Newport would approve as he still blogs regularly. I’m glad you’ll still be around and that my RSS feed still points here to know when you post.
Hi, Kate! Do you know that as big a fan I am of Cal Newport, I have never read his blog? I need to start doing that, especially since I will have at least a minute or two of free time after giving up Instagram. ;)
Yay! I’m still here, and I love seeing what you write. Always have. :) I will miss your occasional posts on FB (because I have never been on IG), but I’ll favorite your blog and look for you here. Have fun. Social media is a sinkhole of opinions…I try to use it for good, but recently found myself tired of it as well and have been mostly silent this month. I don’t know how long it will last. But you can always find me posting my book updates on Goodreads. :)
So many opinions! Everyone thinks they know how you should think and feel (I’m guilty of this, too). I don’t think social media is bad. It’s just an app! But, I do think social media has the potential to highlight the bad parts of our character and leave us with shadows of our true potential.
Yay, and yes please! I deactivated Facebook September 1, and only intended to be off for the month, but I don’t want to go back right now. Instagram was so much better before Facebook bought it and made it FB-lite, but the reality is that I like and want a place to tuck my daily photos and musings (that gets more views than my blog). That said, I miss slower reading and writing and have been tinkering with my blog again, too.
I use “William Morris” as a verb, thanks to you, and I am always happy when you’re in my feed-reader, IG, or Twitter. :)
Thank you, Rebecca! :) It’s definitely slower-paced over here. I like that I have a place to share my grandmotherly decor pictures with a little more permanence. I only put them in stories on IG since it is linked to my Chatbooks account. I like to be able to refer back to the images for inspiration around the house, but I don’t want to include them in my family albums! haha
I’m glad you are posting links on your FB page and I hope you will continue. I always like your blog posts. The craziness of FB and IG has eluded from me, probably because I mostly stick to groups (various interests) and family, plus I heavily curate my feeds (lately this is a weekly event). I, too, have a blog I think I pay for (?) but haven’t used in years.
I will continue! I can easily get to my page without having to dip into the nonsense of FB and, actually, most of the people I follow on FB are pretty good about keeping it civil and upbeat.
Welcome back! I still have your post about Nico’s harmonica bookmarked and it still makes me laugh.
I had to take a dive into my archive because I didn’t remember writing that post! See, this is why I love blogging and (and social media). There are stories I’ve shared that I wouldn’t remember otherwise.
I love your writing and have always enjoyed your blog. Happy to read about books, William Morris, English granny decor, and general musings. :-)
Thank you! I’m glad you followed me here.
I think I’ve been reading since the earliest days in 2007. Although our lives are vastly different, we also have many interesting parallels and I appreciate your funny and thoughtful perspectives. I certainly missed your posts on 2019. I’m not on Instagram so I’m glad you are back here! Looking forward to more posts!