Quickly, because I want to touch upon what’s really important. We hung the curtains that have been sitting in their packages for months. I didn’t have time to wash them before everyone came over on Saturday, and I’m assuming that’s why they are trailing the floor like wedding veils. That, or I bought the wrong size at IKEA. I’m washing them this week, so we’ll see what happens after I wash, dry, and iron them.
Now, on to what really matters. I was fluffing the curtains on Wednesday, trying to make them look somewhat tidy before taking pictures, but they were way too long to do anything but create static. They were so long they reminded me of those red velvet vaudeville curtains that would drop to cover the stage floor in old movies. This got me thinking of the theater, which got me thinking of fame and celebrity, which got me thinking of Hollywood.
What is wrong with the young celebrities and musicians of today? They are seriously troubled. I spent the rest of my time taking pictures trying to remember the teeny bopper stars of my youth and if they circled the drain as vigorously as Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez Demi Lovato, Justin Bieber, Amanda Bynes, Lindsay freaking-Lohan, and pretty much anyone in Hollywood under 30.
Taylor Swift seems like a serial monogamer one Steno-pad and a bitten pencil away from an opus of breakup songs. I’m sure she’s a very nice girl in real life, not at all psycho-clingy, but she can’t release an album without the world wondering which boyfriend(s) it’s about. She should have followed Alanis Morisette’s lead and kept her “woman scorned” to one album. Despite her dicey luck with men, she keeps dating all of them. Then she breaks up with them, puts on comfy pajamas, and lays on the floor of her bedroom and writes songs. And she’s all: I write about what I know! And I’m all: Know something else! You’re looking cray.
Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian has managed to sexualize/objectify her pregnancy with her questionable choices in maternity wear. I can’t decide whether to tell the world to leave her alone or tell Kim to put on leggings and flats like the rest of us. That, or make like a Victorian and go into confinement until she lets go of her dreams of a sex-kitten pregnancy because after this, my eyes can take no more. Rule No. 1 of the Big Boob Fashion Handbook: Never, ever wear a turtleneck or tight high collar unless you want your breasts to appear like the filled bladders of an airplane life jacket.
If Justin Bieber was my son, I’d toss him into Time Out so fast his puffy little lips would deflate from the wind pressure. Then, I would ground him for one month from his used Honda Civic (please, with your cars!) and fire every single person on his payroll that sees him as a meal ticket.
Kid from One Direction: quit sleeping with married women in their 30s. Married 30 year old women: quit sleeping with the kid from One Direction. He’s a kid. He looks like a kid. Sure, now that he’s 18 it’s legal [side eye to DJ Lucy Horobin], but still. He’s an adolescent with a baby face. And that hair! Nicholas had the same hair when he would wake up from his naps. I just…no. I look at him and all I can imagine are Sponge Bob Square Pants sheets and a bed shaped like a car.
Contrast these people with the celebrities of our youth and tell me if I’m missing a group of people who can give them a run for their money. Ricky Schroeder–I think his worst crime was a penchant for horizontal stripes. Debbie Gibson–that hat. The Brat Pack brought a little heat with Robert Downey Jr., but today’s crowd makes him look like a Catholic school boy caught kissing a girl under the school bleachers.
It’s possible, as a friend mentioned to me last night, that the internet and social media just brings the crazy to light. In the 80s, celebrities hid it better because their every move wasn’t so easy to monitor. Maybe. I think the internet and social media is the black ice on an already destructive path for these kids. I was reading an article the other day on Mikey and Nico’s generation, Generation Z. They are the first generation to grow up with the internet and social media in full swing and part of everyday culture. Everyone is waiting to see how it affects this generation because no one feels comfortable predicting the outcomes of growing up in such a small, big world. God help us all.
This post was part of The William Morris Project, a weekly series that details the steps I am taking to create an intentional home. You can see more of my goals and completed projects here. To learn more about this project, start here.
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I agree that it’s very sad and share your righteous anger. But child stars from the 80’s were pretty messed up too: Drew Barrymore was an alcoholic at age 13, River Phoenix OD’d, and then there were the Coreys (Feldman and Haim)…
Yes! I knew I was forgetting some people. It’s so sad. I think social media is accelerating the problem. And I think there are more troubled young stars now–or maybe as a mother I’m more aware of it and get more angry because I feel there are adults managing the careers of these children who should know better. Or at least care. When I see Justin Bieber’s dad dressing like him, I want to punch him. I don’t care that he was a teen dad. I know teen parents both my age and my parents’ age, and most don’t dress and act like their children. Those that do, well…
Yup ~ came on just to bring up the Coreys. Winona was a shoplifter. Didn’t Justine Bateman get into some trouble after Family Ties? Heck, all the Different Strokes kids were freaking train wrecks. The list goes on and on……
Almost no kid actor/celebrity do not come out unscathed from the attention & money. It must be nearly impossible to keep your head on straight during it all. Especially when you have creepy/needy adults determined to capitalize on your fame.
(The curtains are easy to hem with the tape Ikea provides!)
What Devon said. And you. I think the stars from our generation were as troubled, but social media intensifies it. Whenever I see pictures of Lindsey Lohan looking like she’s already in her 40s, it makes me so sad. (Remember how cute and great she was in Parent Trap back in the 90s?) But, it also makes me sad when I see my daughter’s acquaintances (because they aren’t really friends, no matter what FB says) posting so. many. photos of themselves looking like sex kittens. Adolescence is hard enough without having to feel that you must look fabulous and have the online appearance of a fabulous life and keep up in the constant, instant Likes popularity poll.
Oh, and I like you even more knowing that you hang curtains without hemming them. Just sayin’.
Lindsay Lohan breaks my heart. So does Justin Bieber. He was such a sweet little boy in that documentary he did, but even then you could see how they were pushing, pushing, pushing him. That vocal coach wouldn’t let him act like a kid for a second. I know he’s a little drug using player right now, but it’s because his parents/team have let a 17-18 year old boy take control. I felt so bad when Selena made fun of him on David Letterman. I thought it was cruel, and for someone with public psychological issues of her own, I thought making fun of a boy for crying on national television was a low blow. But she’s a kid–shame on that skeeve David Letterman for encouraging it.
Who are these people? I don’t recognize most of the names you mentioned. Really.
We choose not to let them into our home or into our lives. We don’t have a television. The kids don’t read Teen or People Magazine or whatever media equivalents we have these days. The only movies they see are on airplane flights. Our children don’t miss out. (They also attend separate private schools, boys only and girls only, past high school.) It’s a conscious choice to be (contemporary) culturally deprived.
Fairfax, the only reason I know these people is because I follow the Huffington Post on Twitter. They show up CONSTANTLY in their tweets, especially Kim Kardashian and Amanda Bynes. I still didn’t know who Amanda Bynes was when I wrote this last night, so I had to google her real quick and bring myself up to speed. Years ago, I used to be really into celebrity gossip. I don’t know why that changed. Maybe it’s because it was no longer about who was dating who or who wore what and most of the people were younger than me and on shows I don’t watch. It’s just become increasingly negative and sad. I don’t want to watch peoples lives slowly unravel.
I haven’t finished reading yet – but the queens were just talking about the Kim Kardashian dress last night and I just HAD to share this image:
http://www.blogcdn.com/www.mandatory.com/media/2013/05/kim-kardashian-met-gala-dress-mrs-doubtfire-couch.jpg
Hahahaha!!! Oh, poor Kim. I could write an entire post on her pregnancy fashion from a feminist perspective, but no one wants to hear me over-intellectualize bad taste.
Ohh, me, me! I do, I do!!
I have to agree with Fairfax Avenue. I think it’s a choice to allow your children to be privy to that culture. We were talking with a couple the other evening about some of our schooling choices and someone said, “You can’t protect them forever, even if you choose to homeschool or send them to a private school” and to that I answered, “Of course you can’t protect them forever, but who says I have to constantly expose my 8 year old to Justin Beiber, outfits covered in rhinestones and allow her to have an iPhone-I’m choosing a place to send her that has the most limited exposure to the things I find dangerous. That is all a choice and if I don’t have to throw my kids to the lions, I’m not going to”.
I think that people {often} reference things being bad “back then” and we just didn’t know about it because we didn’t have the 24 hour news cycle and while that may be true in several instances, I call bunk on that idea, in general. I think that people use that excuse because they are scared at how culture is circling the tubes, so to speak. It makes everyone feel a bit better to imagine the wholesome 50s as being a hotbed of premarital sex between minors, brazen celebrities who hit their girlfriends, yet still appeared on the latest GRAMMY’s and television shows that included housewives who yelled at each other all day.
But it didn’t. It really didn’t.
I believe that culture and morality, in general, really is on the decline and people don’t like to admit it because it might force people to reflect on what they might have to personally stop watching/promoting/laughing at/supporting/reading.
Just my personal two cents, pre-coffee ;)
Hi Rachel–
I really do agree with much of what you’re saying, but want to add this: It gets much harder to shield your kids, the older they get. The questions were so much easier to answer when my kids were in elementary school, but it got much murkier in middle school. I finally decided that I wanted to be the one to teach my kids about social media and how to use it, and I wanted to do so when they were more likely to listen to me. I very reluctantly allowed my daughter to begin a FB account, with lots of restrictions and controls. Nearly 3 years later, the jury’s out in my mind as to whether that was the right choice. We have lots of conversations and openness and I think she’s a pretty smart consumer of it–but she’s still more of a consumer than I’d like.
All the kids in Mikey’s class are into Club Penguin. It’s like Facebook for kids. Not really, but that’s a very general way to explain it. You are a penguin and you can meet your buddies in certain areas, like a park or movie theater or bowling alley, etc. Then you “talk,” but you can only say certain words in certain combinations–depending on your parental restrictions. Like FB, you can accept friend requests and there are video games you can play. Mikey has been asking for over a year, and I finally caved in January because some moms I respect let their kids on. Like Rita, I’ve put so many restrictions and controls I can’t imagine he has fun, but he claims does. He’ll sometimes rumble that he doesn’t have as many “friends” as so-and-s0 because I only allow him to friend people from school (he has, like, 8 friends compared to the hundreds some other kids have), but then I tell him it’s that or nothing and he zips it.
The 1950’s were NOT some idyllic time period. Research has shown that the average working women today spend more “engaged” time with their children than the average stay at home mom did then. There was massive oppression of minorities. Those things that you talk about in the 1950’s DID happen. The culture simply choose that it was better to turn a blind eye.
I just have to disagree here. Each generation tends to look at the generations that come after us and say “they are worse” just as our grandparent’s look back and say “in our day…” But if you look at the evidence, it just doesn’t hold up.
I was actually assigned a book to read in one of my English classes that printed old news clippings from a rural area in the late 18oo’s – jilted lovers burning people down in barns, crazed women attacking family members with axes, Grandpa’s been drinking to much and has taken to walking around naked, Married so and so runs off with the mother’s helper and leaves their family to starve. Talk about cray.
I think there is definitely an argument to be made that it’s sad we now find this salacious drivel “news” instead of something to hide like they did in the 1950’s , but just because this generation has different sins than ours, doesn’t make it any less moral.
Hey Kate-
I do agree wholeheartedly that it is very sad that our culture finds such stimulation and excitement from the current “news” that’s offered. It’s ridiculous that Paris Hilton consumed much of the news tickers for an entire year and I believe “real news” is going the way of the dinosaur, at some major broadcasting stations.
That being said, I still hold tight to my assertion that culture has declined, in many ways, in the past fifty years. Do I believe there have been necessary and amazing advancements made? Of course I do and I recognize that many issues were about as far from perfect as they could be. Some things needed to change. Just like many things need to change now. Quickly. I believe we could definitely go back and forth about the benefits of “then vs. now” and both have research confirming our opinions as it pertains to gang violence, crime, family unit decline and the massive breakdown of the educational system, but as far as media goes {sometimes I can move off topic, rather quickly ;) )…..
Sociologically speaking, I believe you can infer much about the climate of a culture by what is considered permissible and shown through media, television and publications. In the 1950’s, television portrayed family values, respect for adults, situational comedies and drama which had an underlying theme or values {almost all primetime viewing was appropriate for children}. On a whole, drugs, premarital sex {especially between minors}, scantily clad teenagers, disrespectful youth, salacious discussion of all kinds and a myriad of other things was not considered permissible and therefore not aired. Sure, people engaged in behavior that was unsuitable {just like people have since the dawn of man} but largely it was deemed inappropriate for the larger whole of society. Not so anymore. If we really believe that things are wrong, inappropriate and not wholesome, we ourselves wouldn’t engage in the media promotion and therefore push the news media to change its flavor, but we don’t. Because society demands the crap. It stands to reason that, on a whole, we are entertained by what we are….
I don’t believe anyone can argue that our culture has adopted {much to its own detriment} a “well, whatever” kind of attitude because as much as people would like to blame the media and television sources, the VIEWER decides what is permissible and what is being watched. Trash is on television because people watch it, because our culture feeds off objectifying others and watching it happen.
I think much of a culture can be determined by what entertains it’s members and if that is so, our culture isn’t where I, personally, would hope we would be.
I think this a great conversation, Rachel. I can definitely understand your viewpoint. I just can’t agree that because a society has stricter rules on what is allowed in entertainment (a married couple with two single beds?), it is then a more moral culture. I’m just more liberal in my entertainment viewpoints. If it isn’t for me, I just turn the channel. I can’t judge the people who watch it. I may not understand why some people like such ridiculousness, but I’ve read all the Sookie Stackhouse novels and I’d hate for people to judge me based on THAT guilty pleasure.
I want to point out, I’m a very limited consumer of media. I didn’t have a television until I lived with my husband and we currently don’t have cable. I wasn’t allowed to listen to secular music so I found a love for Metallica and 80’s Madonna as an adult long after they’d been played out for other people. Blogs are a weakness, but again, we all have our areas of weakness. I personally think that some cultures show their weaknesses through entertainment and others hide them. I’m not sure which one I think is better.
It’s one of those things where we have to agree to disagree – but you have some interesting points.
I agree with a number of your points, Rachel, but I do want to disagree with the idea that our taste for salaciousness has increased. Literature, fairy tales and myths from different cultures and times have all used transgressive elements to draw people in. But two big changes have happened in the last 40 years that have removed constraints that we used to have: 1) we’ve got a LOT more access to stories, news, and all kinds of information now, and 2) we’ve removed a lot of the cultural shame that used to constrain what information got shared about personal lives. I like both of these changes individually, but I think our society really hasn’t figured out how to deal with the combination of the two.
Shame creates a lot of secrets, and making it OK to talk about personal issues (domestic violence, rape, sexuality, spirituality) was a huge, positive shift in our culture. For most people, talking about those things was still a somewhat private act: you chose who you talked to, who saw your photo albums, etc., but it ushered in a more confessional time. Memoirs and talk shows dealt with addiction, abuse, and a lot of other topics that used to be taboo.
Then add the internet – I love being able to see lots of different perspectives, and being able to look up random information easily. But tabloid-style ‘journalism’ is well-suited to the faster pace of breaking as many stories as quickly as possible. Information that used to be shared with the control of editors and publicists now goes out with far fewer filters, and often with far more detail. And we as an audience keep clicking, which makes it profitable for them.
Celebrities will do what celebrities will do, but the impact on what we see as ‘normal’ is the strange part to me. Privacy often gets painted as an old-fashioned, conservative idea, but I really think we’ve got a lot of work to do as a culture in figuring out how to use it again.
AMEN. I graduated from high school in 2002 and I just thank the good lord jesus that we didn’t have facebook or twitter or instagram or social media of any kind yet because oh my goodness, that would have made everything a hundred times worse/harder.
Good Lord. I barely have a filter now. I can’t imagine the trouble I would have put myself in as a teen.
I have nothing to add about the celebrity issue, except that I try to limit our kids’ exposure to it, despite my husband’s love of Access Hollywood. I am flat out scared of dealing with smart phones, teens and social media, but no doubt it will be an issue all too soon.
As for the curtains, I like them! Ikea curtains are all that crazy long–they don’t come in different sizes. You just have to cut them off a few inches longer than you want them, and use that iron-on hem tape if you don’t want to sew the hems. I like to sew, but I used the hem tape for the FIVE pairs I had to put up in my living/dining room.
I remember them all being the same size, too, and since I never had to hem any of my other curtains, I think that will be the case here. I guess I didn’t realize how much they shrank in the wash!
I agree that social media intensifies the teen star downfalls, but doesn’t it also just seem like there are MORE teen stars in general? Tiffany & Debbie Gibson were a huge deal, because they were really the only teen girls on the radio at the time. So, I’m not sure the percent of messed up teen stars has increased, but the volume may have.
I don’t have children, but I do wonder if there could be a positive side to the constant media bombardment of images of fallen celebrities. “Drugs are evil”, seems easier to dismiss, than, “Look at what happened to that little girl who was Nickelodeon.”You don’t want to end up like that, do you?” In the 80s, being on a TV show seemed like such a glamorous life. We only saw what teen magazines showed us. Now kids see the whole picture.
On a side note–I wouldn’t have put Selena Gomez in that list. Other than dating Justin Bieber, I didn’t realize she had issues (and I pay way more attention to celebrity gossip than I should.)
You’re right. I think I’m confusing Selena Gomez with Demi Lovato. It was Demi who had the eating disorder and cutting issues, right? And are Selena and Demi singers? Disney kids? Disney kids turned singers? This is all so confusing.
You also have a good point that it may be volume over percentage. The stars are getting younger and burning brighter, faster. It’s sad. Who knows–maybe watching all these kids self destruct will act as a cautionary tale for our own kids.
Yes, Demi Lovato had eating/cutting issues, but seems to have turned herself around. They are easy to confuse–they are the same age, look similar (more so when they were younger) and had very similar careers. They both started out on Barney and then they both had Disney shows (Wizards of Waverly Place for Gomez; Camp Rock and Sonny with a Chance for Lovato) & recorded albums. I think Gomez has gone more toward acting now and Lovato more toward singing. I blame Yahoo! for all this useless knowledge.
I wonder also if these situations may serve as cautionary tales for parents, so they realize it’s not all sunshine & lollipops to have your precocious 7 year old on T.V., but based on the number of precocious kids I see on You Tube, probably not.
I haven’t heard of Demi Lovato via my usual source (Huffington Post on Twitter) so I assume/hope everything is okay. Now that I know it’s not Selena Gomez, I have hope that she’s pulled things around. Selena, on the other hand, seems to be turning into a but of a mean girl, bit that may just be how she’s portrayed. You can’t tell me the media doesn’t do some typecasting. It’s like a drama series within a drama series.
Lots of precocious kids on blogs, too–including my own! In the last year or so I’ve been slowly pulling back as the boys get older. First, I can’t really tell a story anymore without involving another child who isn’t my own, so that’s a problem. I have to change names or get permission, which I do. Second, I figure they’ll be online in a few years so they could use the anonymity while they can get it. Third, what I think is cute they may later think is embarrassing, and the internet is permanent.
I haven’t figured out yet what that means for the future of this blog, though I have my (sad) suspicions.
Hahahaha–that was an AWESOME post. Quote of the day:
“And she�s all: I write about what I know! And I�m all: Know something else! You�re looking cray.”
Seriously! Where are the parents for this girl? An older sister? A level-headed friend? Anyone? What teen/young adult girl doesn’t get all bent when things don’t work out with a boy? They all do–but she doesn’t have to emasculate every single one of them in song. Show some restraint and keep some things private.
^ This. You’ve described Ms. Swift and her situation very well, and I definitely share your thoughts on how she could de-dramafy her life (and perhaps regain me as a fan�once her third album came out, I was as over her as Jake Gyllenhaal).
A male friend of mine who very recently jumped on the T-Swizzle bandwagon praised her for “maintaining her squeaky-clean image.” If a “squeaky-clean image” for a celebrity now includes having purportedly been around the block as many times as Sting & The Police’s tragic Roxanne and then lyrically rending her ex-lovers to bits (in a way that somehow manages to escape being labeled as public shaming or bullying), then yes, I suppose Taylor’s doing all right.
Like you, I do wish she would “[k]now something else.” Maybe someday she’ll recognize that there’s more joy in healthy, positive relationships than there is in revenge-lite songs and the money they bring in. I really hope she can be genuinely, deeply happy.
Also, +10 for the curtains! They frame the windows in a most lovely manner. I dig how they’re a thick sort of translucent�almost like frosted glass in material form. Good design eye, Jules! :)
Have you seen the video for “Never Ever Getting Back Together”? The ex-boyfriend that she kicks to the curb repeatedly (as he keeps begging for her return) looks like Jake Gyllenhaal. It’s embarrassing…and not for Jake Gyllenhaal.
YES!!
Oh my goodness! This had me laughing out loud. Thank you for brightening my day with a hilariously unflattering pic of Kim K. I actually went to a Taylor Swift concert with my niece last night and she is most certainly “cray.” The chick can’t dance but she knows how to put on a nice outfit and sassy-walk all over the stage. Not sure I would call her a role model– but I’m also not sure I could add that label to any young celebrity right now.
Why can’t little girls just watch tons of Anne of Green Gables like in the olden days? Anne Shirley was my hero!
Yes. To all of it! :)
Curtain problems: word. I have three sets of curtains in the house that need to be hemmed. One pair has been hanging for three years. Shame.
On celebs: I feel torn on the Kim K issue, too. On the one hand, I feel like I should defend her in the interest of sisterhood and female solidarity and what-not. On the other hand, I kind of hate her and I was completely turned off by an interview I read in Allure where she came off as complete brat with no interest at all in female solidarity. She’s made some pretty hateful/rude comments about women breastfeeding in public and changing babies in public and now I kind of feel like, “Ok, you wanted to be judgey and nasty, now you get to ride the roller coaster and see how it feels.” But then, who hasn’t been judgey and opinionated about stuff they knew next-to-nothing about, only to have reality bitch-slap them a few years later? We’ve had the luxury of not having the ENTIRE WORLD witness our crow-eating experience. So…ugh…meh? My only solution is to try and avoid all news/gossip related to her, so as to avoid the spiral of satisfying snark followed by guilt.
All in all, I mostly agree with Ris: thank God there was no social media when I was in high school. Because I would have straight-up ruined my life.
What you wrote about Taylor Swift is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. I used to be a big fan of hers, but can hardly stand to listen to her anymore. I can’t imagine dating anyone like her. Girlfriend needs to come to the conclussion that there is one common factor in all of these relationships…..HER! Stop impailing yourself on these poor guys and you might be able to pursue other things you could write about.
As for Kim………I’m a month behind Kate Middleton in my pregnancy. You know Princess Kate, who rolls out of bed looking like the most exquisite Disney princess that anyone could ever imagine. She has a maternity wardrobe that pregnant women the world over would kill for. And now that her severe morning sickness is over she radiates. I on the other hand look like a cat sucked on my head 99% of the time and I have to wear my husband’s sweats because nothing in my closet fits and I”m too exhausted to go shopping for even a decent pair of underwear these days. So, Kim helps me feel better about myself. I might spend a majority of my time in my husband’s undershrits, but at least it doesn’t look my high waisted leather pants are trying to eat me or like I can be mistaken for a couch. Kim’s pregnancy is serving a greater cause!
I’m a bad person!
Be careful, Jules. You did hear how Taylor lost it on Tina Fey and Amy Poehler for giving her a ribbing at the Golden Globes? Watch for “There’s a special place in hell” on her next album.
I did hear that! Why do you think I haven’t linked to her? I’m afraid to drop into her radar and become the title track on her latest album. ;)
I can’t quit laughing at this because it is just how my mind works. Hanging up the curtains one minute and analyzing the ridiculous culture we live in the next. Just killing two birds with one stone!
Totally with you on Rule No. 1 of the Big Boob Fashion Handbook. I had a friend ask me why I always wore dress shirts with the top button (or two) down and my answer was: divide and conquer. I can’t believe that nobody’s told Kim about this yet.
ah, american youth (or youth anywhere somewhat free) have always had the opportunity to go awry. i disagree on being able to completely raise your children in a vacuum though. what you allow at home must always stand as your family’s core values and what you hope your children will project onward, but they do spend 8+ hours out of your hands (given that they are schooled outside) and another 8 hours dreaming of their day with friends and interactions, teacher’s expectations. that’s a lot to contend with. set your guidelines where you will, they still have their own minds.
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