I was a high school sophomore pining for a guy on crutches the first and only time I visited the Jurupa Mountains Cultural Center. I spent the majority of the class field trip positioning myself so that he could gaze upon my profile, which at the time I believed was my best angle. Years later, another guy would do just that and then softly run his finger down the bridge of my nose before leaning in close to whisper, “Your nose, it’s like a ski jump. A perfect right triangle.”
My knife-like nose may explain why the guy on crutches couldn’t hobble away from me fast enough, but why I never returned to this odd, campy earth science museum remains a mystery. My unrequited love must have blinded me to its quirky, intellecutal charm. I decided to take the boys for a visit as part of our quest for adventure, and I swear my life is forever changed. There has never before been such random awesomeness in one dusty stretch of land. Had I remembered its magnificence I would have returned much, much sooner.
The gift shop alone is worth the trip. It’s in a hanger, I think, with walls of corrugated metal shot with insulation long ago covered in grime. Science projects from decades past sit atop cases holding legitimate earth science materials, many of which are for sale. Also for sale: figurines.
For the first ten minutes we where there, I couldn’t tell if I was in a well stocked gift shop or a 1972 museum where everything was for sale. I’ve mentioned before that I am a huge fan of rocks and minerals. This place nearly made the top of my head explode. I wanted one of everything, and the prices were good enough to tempt me. More than good, actually.
Please tell me you noticed the red shag carpet. Had someone tapped me on the shoulder and mentioned that–along with selling rocks and the paleontology museum–the cultural center also produces porn in the back, I would have nodded sagely and said, “I’m sure they do. How much for the Megalodon tooth?”
It’s the David Lynch of gift shops, where plastic dinosaurs share display cases with Smilidon skulls.
By comparison, the actual museum seems tame. The interior is small, quiet, and dark. We repeated the circle over and over. I could have stayed in there for hours photographing the dioramas.
Tucked in the corner was a diorama on space, which Nicholas homed in on like a beacon. He is obsessed with outer space.
The grounds are equally interesting. There is a biblical garden, and from the looks of it the emphasis is post brimstone. The nursery on the grounds has one of the largest collections of cacti and succulents I have seen in a while. Once again, the prices are excellent. There is also a dinosaur hike on Saturdays where you can tour the large metal skeletons of dinosaurs tucked around the base of the Jurupa mountains. We went during the week, but the boys had a great time trying to spot them in the distance. As a consolation, the staff let them feed the turtles and Koi in the ponds.
Half way through our visit, my camera ran out of batteries. What a shame! I could have taken pictures for hours of that place. You can’t go to a place like Jurupa Mountains Cultural Center and expect the prisitine beauty of a Museum of Natural History. This is a museum, of sorts, for misfits or kids or both, and what it lacks in prestige it makes up for in spades with unadulterated amusement and a baffling collection of this and that. (I spied a dollhouse collection near the employee bathrooms. No idea.)
I never stood a chance capturing the attention of that guy on crutches. My odds would have been better had I dropped a pencil in Spanish 1-B and done a bend and snap. At least there, surrounded by four painted concrete walls of subjunctive conjugation (�hable, hablemos, habl�is, hablen!) I had boredom on my side. At barely 15 years of age, I just wasn’t woman enough to compete with a museum pushed into the dust at the base of a mountain. At least not one with life size metal sculptures.
Wow! My son would love that place! And all 3 children would have money burning a hole in their pockets in the gift shop (carpet noted!). Dinosaur teeth and sparkly crystals- I don’t think we’d get out of there empty handed.
Incidentally, the boy I sat next to in maths in secondary school told me my nose was like a ski jump and proceeded to call me that for the next 5 years of school. Why are people nostalgic for their school days again?
There is one item in there that I’m going to go back in and buy. I can’t wait to share it…it is so random! The guy who called my nose a ski jump/perfect right triangle reads me blog. He emailed me first thing this morning: “I meant �like a ski slope� in the sweetest way possible!”
Uh huh.
�I meant �like a ski slope� in the sweetest way possible!�
I don’t think Mark from maths did.
Oh my word! The the photos of the gift shop just gave me a flash back . . . though I’m not exactly sure the location . . . but it was some place visited as a child. :)
And a ski jump? Seriously? Although, when you think about it, it’s quite poetic. My nose has been referred to as ‘the beak’ . . . and once, when asked what I would do if I won a million dollars, a girl kindly suggested rhinoplasty. I, however, like to think it adds character. Lots and lots of character. Character that will continue to grow as I age, which is just super.
Hah! I like the use of the word super. :)
This looks like my kinda day! LOVE:)
I thought of you the whole time!
Your writing in this piece is wonderful. Really enjoyed reading.
Thank you, Rita! :)
Amazing! I would have left with teeth and crystals – I can’t resist them. LOVE the science boards on top of the cabinets. I have a few tucked away they could have. It sounds like a perfect outing!
I love that you can’t resist teeth and crystals. Oh, how my readers are my people.
This place is right by my house. I’ve never gone..it doesn’t seem like much from the outside but your photos make it look worth going. xx
It’s not much on the inside, either! But it’s so “not much” that it runs past dumpy and tacky and straight into the arms of campy and fantastic.
‘straight into the arms of campy and fantastic’ – LOVE your choice of words and love places like this!
We call them adventures. My son would split at the seams if he could touch, not to mention take home more rocks and teeth!
Ok, I’m off to find something of this level of awesomeness on the east coast.
Does anyone have suggestions?!
That looks like a little boy’s paradise! I can’t remember if I’ve been there or not, but it looks like fun.
Mikey and Nico were beside themselves. You don’t remember this field trip? You might have already been in biology or had a different teacher.
Oh man! I wish I had known about this place when I lived right there in Pomona. We’ll have to take a road trip. It looks like my favorite kind of awesome.
If you like small and dingy and random, this is your place. :)
I thought that sign said “biblical carded” and I was trying to figure out if it was some form of ID check. Ha!
I love weird museums more than perfect ones. I like discovering in the nooks and crannies and now I’m tempted to make a trip out there just for this.
I know! The signage is all crazy. The whole place is crazy. It’s so strange to see legitimate pieces in this small, dingy place off the side of the freeway–in the same display case as something cheap and plastic, no less. BIZARRE.
I like to pride myself on knowing about the little funky attractions of SoCal, but I’ve never heard of this place. Looks right up my alley. And I’m guessing there are some funky-cool aromas lurking in that gift shop.
I’m also a huge rock hound and had quite a collection as a kid, and still love looking at it all.
There are ALL SORTS of funky-cool aromas. They have on display dinosaur poop–not kidding–but my picture turned out blurry. Probably because I was laughing as I took the picture.
That place is so funny/odd. We cruise through every so often. We have quite the collection of amethyst chunks and “geodes”, goofy key chains and pencils, those kinds of treasures. We went to the county museum in San Bernardino a few weeks ago, if you haven’t been the boys will probably like it. All kinds of mangie stuffed animals and bird eggs. ;)