On Wednesday I congratulated Erin on the news of her baby’s first kick. On Saturday I spent an hour on the border of a baseball field with an 8 month old playing at my feet. And all during the week, the radio replayed a clip about parents who regret the names they chose for their children. That must be why I dreamed I was pregnant, laying with my back against a grassy hill, feeling the flutter of a baby down low, to the left.
Mikey was almost an Aidan. Can you imagine?! I can’t, and neither can Mikey. This weekend I told him about his almost-name, a name that belongs to someone gentle and calm, good with his hands and friends with golden retrievers. He scrunched up his nose and laughed, the idea unfathomable to the small boy whose personality engulfs a room.
It’s a name that is as unsuitable to me as it is now to him.� To know me is to know I am someone who names their son Michael, not Aidan. Michael, not Mikell or Mykall or Mi-Kal. I was bitter Carrie went back to Mr. Big. That is the only way I can explain this near-transgression.
Years later, Mikey played soccer with a boy named Aidan, and I became friends with his mom. Aidan looks and acts as an Aidan should. Our boys are named just right.
For Nicholas, we went back to the family tree and moved up a generation or two. Nicholas, after my great-grandfather who sailed from Italy to Argentina and settled there to build windmills. They called him Nico. Scott, after the Mister’s great-great uncle, a cowboy in Colorado history books. I think they just called him wild. Sometimes I’m not sure about the name Nicholas, but the feeling is fleeting. I can’t think of another name that suits him. His knees bare scars from scrapes and falls; his hair is almost always on end. He is the Don Quixote of the west, the adventure loving boy who has yet to find his indoor voice.
In my dream we were having a girl. Mikey starts with M and Nicholas starts with N, so in the logic of dreams I was adamant that her named start with an O.
M, N, O; alphabetical order.
No idea.
The only other time I dreamed of a third child was years ago, and it was of a boy named Ollie. I remembered that dream in my current dream and mentioned it to a blonde woman I don’t know in real life. In my dream she was my best friend. We went shopping, and I handed her pretty silk bras over a dressing room door as I shared my ideas on names.
In the end, I decided to name our daughter Olive.
I knew an Olive once. She had glossy black hair, warm brown eyes and a man who adored her so much he brought her to work everyday. She was my vet’s Labrador retriever. It’s a nice name. I imagine a woman named Olive is quiet and unassuming, someone you can tell you secrets to without hesitation.
I told all this to the Mister as we drove around town running errands on Sunday, except for the part about pretty silk bras. I knew that would sidetrack him.
“Olive? Why Olive?”
“It was a dream. I have no idea why Olive. What do you think of the name?”
“We would never have an Olive. I always liked the name Ophelia. Remember how I wanted that name?”
“I remember.”
“It’s a good name, don’t you think? I mean, minus the part about it being the name of a crazy woman.”
Yes, aside from the heartbreak, the madness, and the did-she-or-didn’t-she suicide intrigue from Hamlet, it’s a fine name.
I can imagine that people would regret names that suddenly become popular. I know 3 sets of sisters called Sophie and Lucy and 2 called Jessica and Hannah. If you are the kind of person that thinks that ‘Talula does the Hula from Hawaii’ is a good name for a baby, you’re probably not going to come to your senses any time soon.
When we named DD1 Matilda (she’s known as Tilly) I felt almost apologetic when telling people. It was very much perceived as being an old lady’s name here. We could never have predicted it, but since then she’s been at school or clubs with half a dozen Matilda’s or Tilly’s, though in different year groups so she’s never had to be Big Tilly or Tilly N.
Personally, I didn’t want to have children with the same names as half of the rest of the class, but sometimes you just don’t know how trendy you’re being, or how localised certain name trends are. When Tilly was 6 we moved 15 miles to another village and another school. She left a class of Harry’s and Jessica’s and joined a class of Lucy’s and Daniel’s.
My other two have names that are unusual for children in England (Constance and Barnaby) without being weird (well, I don’t think so!) or un-spellable. Barney suits my son perfectly. It’s a common dog name (!), usually a chocolate or black labrador. Loyal, friendly, affectionate, loves running about outside, permanently muddy and usually ravenous. Him to a tee!
Funnily enough I was telling Connie ( ab far more common name for women under 80 years old in the US than in the UK) that I liked Evangeline when I was expecting her but it was vetoed by DH. She just said ‘Thank goodness for that.’ And then fell off her chair laughing when my mum said I was going to be Derek if I was a boy….
Oh, I’m just cracking up because as soon as I read “Aidan,” I immediately thought of “gentle, kind, works with his hands, and totally got burned by Carrie.” Ha! Sounds like you picked the perfect names for your boys. And I like Olive, too – just in case :)
Ah, naming–such a daunting task! Too bad I don’t have children, I’d be so prepared. I bought my first “Naming Baby” book when I was 11 years old. It’s how I know Nicholas means “Victory of the people” and Michael “Who is Like God.” Good names, for good, strong people who will change the world. Certainly.
I quite like Olive and Ophelia, too–for the record (although, the cuteness level of your little girl with a name like that? The mind would boggle). Before I knew all the drama, I knew Ophelia meant “helper” . . . I’ll have to look up the other. :)
I had to (ruefully) laugh as I read Hazel’s comment. My daughters are named Emily (22) and Rachel (14). I chose those names for some reason I’ve never identified, and thought they were nice old-fashioned names. Sigh…in 1989 and for quite a few years after, Emily was the most popular name in the US. And Rachel was way up there in the late 90’s. I had no idea! When they give me grief about that, I remind them I am a woman in her 50’s named Susan, and I survived having an incredibly common name.
And they are both just who they are supposed to be! Their names fit them perfectly – Emily is an extrovert, BIG emotion girl – loud and opinionated. (You might have thought an Emily would be a quiet, modest, hands-folded, hair-in-a-bun girl. You would be wrong. :) ) And Rachel is SO Rachel – introvert, emotions held inside – quiet and opinionated. Hmmm…they are both opinionated. Don’t know where THAT came from. :)
Love the picture of the boys. They are so cute. On names, I was sooo glad that my mom at least gave me the French spelling of Jeanne, since in my day it was everyone’s mother’s name–Jean or their middle name. Now telemarketers call and ask for GEE-ANN! What’s up with that? Is my name so obsolete that it can’t be pronounced? Or they think it is GEE-NEE. . . .I can relate to Susan–the unique thing would be to name a child Jeanne or Susan today! My first mother-in-law was Emilie (note the ie) and that was a unique name in the 70s. Not so anymore. It was the most popular name when everyone my age was having babies. In my job, I am seeing the young Brittanys and Tiffanys coming of age and in the work place. I don’t think those names will stand the test of time like Michael and Emily. I do regret not naming my daughter Veronica, based on the potential nickname of Ronnie, which I hate, and a bad match for her last name. But I love Veronica and it would have been unique (and in my mind it is always followed by “wipes the face of Jesus” –my Lenten thought for the day. . .) For the record, I did not like Aidan–too wimpy acting and annoying compared to Big who had swagger. I know swagger is not always good. . . .but those bad boys can be appealing .
Jeanne – when my Emily was 7 she “changed” her name to Emilie for a while. She managed to get her teachers to adopt it, and when photographed at a school activity for the local newspaper she told the reporter that as well. (A few years later she “changed” her birth date so she would be 11 instead of 10!)
We almost named our second son Aidan, as well. I feel like both of our son’s names were very late decisions. Our first would be the one I’m closer to regretting. We chose it when we were living in the fairly cosmopolitan SF Bay Area, and it was fine when we moved to NYC. But now we live in a very small town in TX, and it’s just very unusual. A super common (top 10) name in England and Scotland (where my husband is from)… but virtually unknown in the U.S. Still, it’s his name, and it’s him. Our second, the almost-Aidan, was actually named after my mother, interestingly enough. We chose a name that used a lot of the sounds, and is a common nickname, for my mother’s name. It can be a girl’s name or a boy’s name, which is a little odd, but I couldn’t think of him with any other name.
We went old-school with the names, and found out after the fact that my son James and my daughter Katherine were “named after” their great-great-great grands. Katherine goes by “Katie” at school only (her choice, which took some getting used to!), otherwise we don’t shorten their names…except when I shorten it completely to Kat, in writing only.
I had the name for our first son picked out about 5 years before we needed it! Our daughter was named during the Lord of the Rings releases and is named Arwen after Liv Tyler’s character as the elf princess. We knew she would be a princess in our household so she deserved a princess name. We definitely do not worry about another Arwen in her class. But it is amazing how many people look at her name and see Aaron/Erin. Although the summer after she was born we took her to the county fair for the baby contest and there was a boy named Aragorn that was in the same age division as her. So we laughed at the thought of the two of them dating, when they are allowed at the age of 30! :)
my middle son is Henry, named after my grandfather. Here in the suburbs of NYC, its a fairly common name in his age group. In the suburbs of Philadelphia, where we lived when he was born, the most common reaction was “um…interesting old man name.”
I love this. Olive is a gorgeous name.
Love Olive. Seeing as I have an Ollie, I am keen on the name. Named after his great grandfather. I was sure of his name before he was born, and then once he got here, I wasn’t sure anymore, but didn’t have anything else picked out. We named our daughter Stella. I hadn’t ever met a Stella before. When we named her, my mom’s first words to me were, “I knew a Stella once, she was a prostitute”….there’s a lot to a name (insert smirk). My poor girl had a lisp, and Stella couldn’t have been a harder name to say. She loves her name.
What I find funny is how names gain popularity. A name you never, ever here, is suddenly the name of every second child. How does that happen? Some sort of mass Jungian moment? :)
I would say Ophelia is a wee bit too loaded, although it is a lovely name.
Olive is one of my favorites. And you could use the nicknames “O” or “Liv”, both of which I love. Having a name that did not readily lend itself to shortening always made me jealous of kids who grew up with nicknames – they feel so cozy!
I desperately wanted to be a Sarah or a Krystal as a kid. Now I can’t imagine ever having a different name (to the point where I didn’t change my last name either, as D and I agreed we couldn’t picture me with any other name).
I agree with your comment about having a name that can’t be shortened. Except in my case, – Amanda – it can, but nothing ever caught on; Mandy, Manda. I’ve always hated my name growing up, being a 1989 baby, I grew up with so many Amanda’s in my class. At one point in JR. High I had 5 Amanda’s in my class — it was crazy!
I remember being in my “hating my name stage” and I asked my mom if there was another name she was going to name me. She responded with Jessica. For that year I remember doodling “Jess” on my papers to practice writing a name I never had but wished I did. The reason they didn’t name me Jessica was because Dad didn’t want me to get “Jesse/Jessie” as a nickname as he saw it as a males name.
I find it funny how we associate names with certain people, places in our lives, or things/animals.
I knew a girl named Ophelia and everyone called her ‘Phil’ which I thought was darling at the time. Olive is sweet, old fashioned and simple. I quite like it.
One of our cats is named Ophelia. It’s a great name for a slinky, pouty kitty who puts on airs and likes to pretend that she’s annoyed, but cuddles and purrs in the dark.
Olive is lovely, and such a refreshing twist on the more common (at least in NY where I’m from) Olivia. With a daughter named Jane, I’m partial to names that are familiar but uncommon. In three years, we have yet to meet another little girl named Jane. Michael is one of my all time favorites though, and Nico is one best nicknames out there. Well done Jules!
I love Nicholas’s picture face. I actually really like the name Olive or Oliver for a boy. Maybe the dream is a sign to have another one…I know, I’m biting my tongue.
We almost went for an ‘O’ name for my daughter. Olivia. Then we met an Olivia. She was a living terror. I went back searching for a name that had the same feel, and that we agreed upon (which alone was a major undertaking! Her father’s contribution to baby naming went something like this: ‘ that’s a fat girl who eats paste’ ‘that’s a stripper name’ ‘dated one of those’ ‘dated one of those’. You see what I had to work with). We landed on Ava. Loved it. Couldn’t imagine any other name for her once we met her.
All that being said, I had planned on a name that was easy for people to spell & say, but not the most common (see my name and you completely understand my desire for not naming my child something that has to be explained Every Single Time). I certainly hadn’t planned on choosing one that would end up near the top of the charts by the time she was born. The year that we chose it it was still rated about 89, but it managed to skyrocket to number 4 shortly after. I now understand how people end up with a family full of ‘popular’ names unintentionally. All of my worries that she would be one of several Ava’s in school were needless though. She’s only one of two in her school. WHEW! no regrets here!
I love Ophelia as a name. However, aside from the Hamlet tie-in that we all think of as adults, children tend to find all kinds of nifty nicknames for classmates and Ophelia leads to a few unflattering things right off the top of my head. Back to Olive it is!
I think Phaedra is such a beautiful name!
Loved this little post. :) My husband’s name is Adam and our son is Carson and we joke that a second child would have to have a name starting with D. We wanted a name that was slightly different but not odd or hard to spell. We had never actually met a Carson and it was far enough from the top of the popularity lists (in the 80s I think) for my liking, since I was one of 6 Brittany/Brittney/Britni’s in my Spanish class and went by “Brittany B” or “Blonde Brittany” most of my life. Of course, the week after we decided on his name, we met 2 other little boys named Carson. :P He was very nearly Parker, which could have also suited him in our opinions, but we saved that in case we have another son.
Have you ever heard the Rich Mullins song “Let Mercy Lead”? It’s written to a boy named Aidan, and for the longest time that was my favorite hypothetical-boy-child name, mostly because I love that song. But then came the Jaden/Kaden/Brayden craze, and, well.
My parents fought quite a bit over what to name me. My dad wanted Molly, which seems far too sweet and cutesie for me now, and my mom wanted Brianna, which is way too frilly and feminine. How they landed on Erin, I’ll never know, but I think it suits me.
And for the record, I nearly threw my tv out the window in my rage at Carrie over going back to that cad. Ugh.
My BFF is an Olive, and she is fabulous! Not quiet in the least, but she definitely keeps all my secrets.
I’m Amylovesteal’s BFF, age 50, and for the first time in my life, I am working with another Olive. We were both totally freaked out. Growing up, the only Olives I knew were in their 80s (like the grandmother I’m named after). I hated my name for years, but now … it’s my name. I sign my name O and never have to worry about it. My son is Frank, also named after a grandparent, and he has hated it on and off. But it suits him.
I sooo wanted to name my second daughter Evangeline. I thought it was sooo beautiful and romantic. Husband hated it; so it was not to be. And in retrospect, it would have been sooo wrong for the child who eventually we named Emily. Sweet, mellow, shy Emily was never meant to be a dramatic Evangeline.
My brother and his wife named their daughter Briena. It’s pronounced like “Brianna” but spelled like “Breena”. Poor thing will go through her entire life correcting both the pronunciation and the spelling of her name. (eyeroll)
I’m pregnant with our second (due in August) and I love pouring through all the name posts in the August 2012 birth club. It’s such an obsessive process, naming a child, and with good reason. We chose our children’s names several years ago. A lot of people balk at that idea, but it has really been amazing how well our son’s name fit him even though we chose it six years before he was born. (It’s Ephraim, “Fruitful”, which Joseph named his son saying that the Lord had made him “fruitful in the land of my suffering”.) Since Ephraim was our first child after two failed pregnancies, it was incredibly appropriate. We call him Remy.
This little baby will be either Ethne or Friedrich (nicknamed Nini or Reed, respectively.) We find out in a week!