We sold our dining room table while I was at Camp. My relationship with dining room tables is a topic of interest among family and friends. They swear we’ve had dozens, I swear we haven’t. Maybe three or four or five at the most, and a couple of those were because I rotated in-and-out dining room and kitchen tables from our first house. By looking at it this way, two of the four or five don’t count, although admitting I don’t know whether we’ve owned four or five tables is worth exploring. I will concede that point, but that point only.
The IKEA table and sideboard we had in place didn’t work well. The table was too small in scale and not one I ever adored. It was a placeholder I convinced myself to buy. I should have waited until I found what I loved instead of what I tolerated. Next time.
The sideboard was there to fill up space, and it became a giant treadmill, or bedroom chair, or catchall table by the door. It was a clutter collector with drawers and doors and shelves. A pine trifecta of things-without-places in antique stain.
Everything had to go, even though all we had to replace our folly was a miniscule antique gate table that belongs to my mother. This is the same rickety and uncomfortable table that prompted us to buy the table we sold. I know; that makes no sense.
You should know my mother has had the same kitchen table and dining room table for thirty years. She paid good money for both.
We had dinner last night at the new/old dining room table. It was as I remember: unstable, cramped, and, if you are cutting a steak, risky. Each slice tremors across the tabletop, and there is a feeling one false move will crumble whatever it is that is holds everything together.
I lit candles to draw attention away from the inherent danger and warped, scratched tabletop.
We ate roasted chicken and vegetables, barely noticing the way the table skittered across the floor. (Not really. I notice everything.) After dinner, Nicholas put together a puzzle on the floor while the Mister and I quizzed Mikey about his day. He’s normally not one to share too much, but with the room dark and moody, the words tumbled out. He told us about classmates he liked and those he didn’t. He rolled his eyes and laughed at funny stories. His eyes glistened with tears we all ignored when he admitted he worries the 5th graders don’t “admire” him as much as he would like.
I didn’t point out using words like “admire” in the second grade might be part of the problem. I also didn’t ask for the names of the 5th graders. It wouldn’t do for me to break the knee caps of a minor.
An hour went by in a blink of an eye. There it was, night, with plenty of homework left to do. Mikey and Nicholas took turns putting out the candles and I went to the library to return a book on the verge of overdue. When I came home, Mikey was on the floor doing his spelling words.
We didn’t get much money for the IKEA table, which means the dangerous table will be with us for some time. This is good. I need the waiting period a slim budget demands to find the perfect family table. I’m not sure what I am looking for, but I know I want it to be a large rectangle of solid wood that can seat at least 8 when extended. I won’t make cost an issue. I will wait until I find what I love. If I can’t afford it, I will save until I can because if I could find a table that would guarantee me another dinner chat like the one we had, I would pay a million dollars. Because, man, that was really something.
There’s just something magical about gathering those you love most around a big, wooden table, and chatting the night away to the flicker of candle light. There are few things I love more. Sigh.
Also, an aside, visiting Denmark is on your list. Well, when I returned from Copenhagen everyone wanted to know why I loved it so. The only thing I could think was the candles . . . they were everywhere! No wonder it’s become the city of fairy tales . . .
Jules,
Thanks for the continuing inspiration. We’re in a new house and as I look at the pile of framed “art” and my blank walls, I still can’t bring myself to hang most of them – because I don’t LOVE them. Yes, I paid money for those prints & a boat load more to frame them, but they don’t bring me joy. and so I think I’d rather have blank walls than stuff just there as filler. Being comfortable with the emptiness is not easy, but it is good.
@Kate I have been searching for some “great” artwork for my new home’s walls for months now at estate sales. We live in a 50’s bungalow, so I guess I thought that I needed some funky old landscape paintings or something. Well I found these on etsy and fell in love: http://www.etsy.com/listing/80701057/orange-owl-white-parachute-giclee-art?ref=pr_faveitems I choose three prints that I adore and that make me smile every time I look at them. SOOOO much better than some old fuddy duddy landscapes, for sure! Good luck on your quest to find just what you want for you new home! :)
Thanks, Jules, for helping us all to stop to think about what we are putting into our spaces!
Welcome home!
Good luck with the table hunt and I have no doubt you will find the perfect table which will be ridiculously expensive while you are on your slim budget – it is just how things go, you will not regret one cent of it though!
Like Amy, Denmark awakened me to candles and I have been lucky enough to be given many Danish designed holders as gifts over the years.
I can’t help but think your personality and mine have many parallels as I so relate to your time at camp.
Wasn’t there a dining room table and chairs a while back that you were enamored with? I can’t remember if it was rectangular or not. What about that or have you changed your mind?
I think there was, but it must have been a temporary passion since I no longer remember what it looks like. I know for a while I really liked a black one with painted flowers, and even at the time I couldn’t figure out what I liked about it.
I will be interested in your table search. I am in search of the perfect 3 ft x 6ft (no leaf please) kitchen table. We put an addition on our home 12 years ago and have an open kitchen/family room. I realized at that time (ok, my husband convinced me) that it made no sense to get a nice new table with a 2 yr. old in the house. He was right–lots of crayons, blow pens, and other art tools made their mark on my 42 in. round table. Now I am ready to upgrade to a larger table that is a rectangle, which of course impacts the rug underneath, the space, the hanging chandelier and probably more I am not thinking of. Sometimes it is easier to live with the old and not commit to the new, which you may not like after all. See why I can’t get this project done????? I hope you fare better. I am seeing some nice stuff on craigslist, but why is it always 50 miles away?
I’m having similar issues in regard to a dining room table…I want one that feels like a dining table and wears like a kitchen table. Right now, I’m leaning toward purchasing a table at an unfinished furniture outlet and having it stained to match an antique bar cabinet from my husband’s grandparents. As long as it is solid wood, I figure I can always sand it down and refinish it down the road when my son is past toddlerhood.
My name is Jess and I am addicted to finding the perfect dining table at the expense of having one at all. I’ve been dining table-free for over a year now. I gave the old one away because I did not love it, and I never found one that I could both afford and love to replace it. We have a stand-in for the moment – it’s much too small, much too Ikea, and wasn’t even purchased new. It used to live on the porch, but given it’s chilly here now and we had a large void under the dining light, I figured we may as well bring the porch table in and embrace it. We added some mismatched chairs and call it shabby chic (it is not). I will not buy what I do not love though. Or can afford, of course. Onward! The table will come to you! In the meantime, enjoy your family dinner!
I have the same problem. I purchased a dining room table at a local woodcraft store 3 years ago when I remodeled my kitchen. It was not the table to be the love of my life, but just one I tolerated because it sat more people (6) and was the right color. However, wiht use I have noticed its too narrow. It’s a nice table and would do another family great good, but it is just not what I want. I am sort of stuck with it as I do not have anything to replace it. I think I want something round and Pottery Barn inspired.
We lived with an insane 1980’s table for a few years. It had a concrete base and the top was just glass. Classy!
We scoured Ebay and Craigslist for a long time and finally found our forever table. Super simple, rosewood, two leaves that pull out to seat 10. Dreamy. Totally worth the wait.
I won’t tell you how long it was before our carpet no longer had the massive indentation from our old concrete clunker.