I don’t know if this is the case for all moms, but part of the reason I delay purging clothing the boys have outgrown, especially in Nicholas’s case, is because it’s yet another cruel reminder that time marches on, without pause, until one day my sons up and leave me for hussies I don’t even like.
The other day Mikey confided in me that when they write their prayer intentions at school every week, he sneaks in two even though the limit is one. He asks to see his friends Mark and Lani, since both go to different schools this year. Mark he wants to see because he was fun and great at kick ball. Lani, well, Lani was just a really nice girl. “So, so nice, Mom.”
Huh. I remember Lani being a little square in the jaw, but what do I know. (I told him those were very nice intentions, and that I hoped he saw them both soon.)
Nicholas isn’t pining for anyone, thank goodness. He’s too busy busting through the confines of growth charts. He’s enormous and outgrew most of his clothing over the summer. I purged a little here and there the last couple of months, but decided Day 28 was as good a day as any to admit my baby is only a year or two away from using our tuition money to pray God brings him girls.
The top drawer, the one Nicholas is still too short to access, was neat, if somewhat empty. Nicholas outsmarted me by pulling all the shirts out of the drawer and putting them into lower drawers.
Pants.
Shorts.
Shirts.
Are you okay? Should I wait while you go get a glass of ice water? I’m not sure what the blogger protocol is when one posts three such exciting, mind blowing pictures in quick succession. My suggestion is that you grab your lighter and a fresh cigarette. It only gets better from here.
Oooooh. T-shirts. On a twin bed with a Pillow Pet.
[fans self]
The best way to attack children’s clothes is to go in with a bright line rule. Decide which size your child has officially outgrown and remove every piece of clothing in that size. For those of you without children, that sounds stupid. You may wonder why one would keep a 3T shirt if the child is no longer a 3T. Good question, Padawan.
Notoriously inconsistent, sizing for children’s clothing is, so fit like a 4T, that a size 3T can, and vice versa. Yeesssssss.
Not a Star Wars fan?
It’s like this. Have you ever shopped at Old Navy and tried on a size 8 skirt and found it the tiniest, tiniest bit snug? So you reach for a 10, only to discover the size 10 could be ripped at the seams, stretched across a metal frame, and used to hang glide the continental divide. Old Navy is secretly in charge of sizing children’s clothing.
That’s why I went in there with the mindset Nicholas no longer wore a size 3T. I was able to put into the donate pile 3 extra shirts, two pairs of pants, and four pairs of shorts that technically still fit but I’m on to you, Old Navy.
Long sleeve shirts and jerseys, which are in the top shelf because if given the choice, Nicholas would wear jerseys and flip-flops everyday.
Pants.
Shorts.
T-shirts.
Do you need a minute, or are you reading this through smoke rings?
A box of toddler clothing ready to donate. I know, you guys. I know.
I haven’t felt a story wrap up this tight since Ross and Rachel got back together.
New here? For the next 31 days Im living according to the famous William Morris quote. You can learn more about the project here.
Jules, you are hilarious!
Do we get to see a photo of all the items you are donating en mass at the end of the month?
Oh, gosh. I don’t know if I’m that humble. Our garage looks like something you would see on Hoarders!
You got me. Sam’s room is always the hardest to sort through and not just because his play style is similar to a Tornado sweeping through Kansas. When did I stop dressing him in months? I don’t even want to speak about the pining. There is already a girl I don’t like because he gets a glazed look whenever he speaks of her. Sam turned 7 in August, which only means one thing. He will be 14 in 7 more.
P.S. Is it just me or are there labels on the top edges of those drawers? You go.
Yes, that’s my husband’s doing. He loves to label things. He says it makes putting things away go faster, and I think he’s right.
p.s. Nico has the same play style as your Sam.
You are the funniest. It’s been a tough week (it’s Friday night here on the other side of the world) and this is the best end of week moment. ‘A fresh cigarette.’ ‘Ross and Rachel.’ You made me laugh, snorting through nose laughing. Thank you.
I love to make people laugh. :)
Lovely – great way to showcase your writing skills b/c …. well, sorting through our kids clothes…. is just what it is… tedious. I did three kids last weekend – with no documentation – but PLENTY of stuff gone and to the thrift store in the same day! Feels good and it is so much easier for them to get dressed….
Tedious is right. The whole time I was laughing, wondering what on earth I was going to write about purging clothes!
Clothing sizes, ugh. Especially hard when your child is a walking Q-tip (the kind with only one fuzzy end). Shorts from two years ago still fit, but pants in the right length he swims in. So I can’t use your policy on that one.
That’s Mikey. Nicholas is a little more proportional, thank goodness.
You are awesome. If only this were the story of my own sets of drawers…I’m old enough to know better, right?
Don’t worry, Juliette–my husband is going to learn the same lesson this week, so you are in good company. :)
You, my friend, are an inspiration to us all . . . and yes, I am going to go ahead and speak on behalf of everyone, here and beyond!
Great, now I need a cold shower. I feel the same re: the hussies. Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
Made me laugh with the Yoda imitation, you did. I’m not a parent yet, but I’m totally with you re: the Old Navy hang glider analogy, and now I have one more bit of useful information to tuck away for when I do become a parent. Thanks, Jedi Jules
Welcome you are, Jedi Susie. :)
My husband does not understand why I don’t do a better job staying on top of my kiddos outgrown clothing…this post is exactly why. Thanks for the laugh and the cigarette this morning. :)
My four year old is still wearing a shirt that is marked 24 months. I can’t remember what that shirt looked like on him at 24 months?? Must have been enormous.
Exactly! I tossed out a 24 month shorts. Ridiculous.
I needed that (and a bourbon). Thank you for making me laugh while still inspiring me to go clean out my daughter’s closet!
Oooh–you know I’ve never had bourbon? I want to try it.
The fact that we are thrilled about seeing clothes in drawers says a lot about us!
And I cannot stand going through the clothes of our two. My mind tells me I need to keep the tattered size 3T shirt….for memories. How sick is that?
I whimpered as I donated a Mickey Mouse shirt that both Nico and Mikey wore. Memories!
I have to say, I’m so sad that we are nearing the end of October. I have LOVED reading these posts every day and relating to them as well. Your day 28 was my last Saturday, when I spent the day purging the boys’ closets. And it is exactly as you wrote it! Although I was purging the size small articles from my “baby’s” closet – on to medium (8-10!!), so sad – but indeed time marches on. (I will admit to holding back a few items. Sentimental and sick, I know.) I am just so glad you did this series, you have me looking at everything in my home through the filter of that William Morris quote and it really is a wonderful thing. So, thanks!
PS – I thought I was alone in my conspiracy theory regarding Old Navy and clothing sizes, but nope, not alone. :)
Yes! Someone else who noticed the Old Navy sizing discrepancy! Of course, I’ve never experienced the size 8 part…
This is my Hell. I feel like I am always swimming in a sea of clothes. I bag them up, get distracted, and my kids drag them out again. Then they are dirty and need to be cleaned which mixes them up in the current season’s stuff. Oh, the humanity!
By the way, I have a 13 year old boy (no issues there), and 3 girls aged 9 (wears 10/12), 8 (also 10/12) and 5 (currently in a 6/7). The clothing exchange ring I used to be in with my friends no longer works for me because my children have outgrown all their same-aged friends. Ugh.
I don’t think I would have purged Nicholas’s clothes if it wasn’t for this project. I hate doing it.
You had me snort-giggling my way through this, Jules! [Cannot believe I just admitted to snort-giggling. Moving on.] I just finished purging the boys’ clothes a few weeks ago, and felt sad at doing it. Some of the things I got rid of were hand-me-downs from Kaleb to Tristan and it hurt my heart a little watching them finally go. Goodbye toddler clothes, hello ‘big boy’ clothes. Who gave these boys permission to grow up, again?
I can assure you, the permission did not come from me! :)
For what it’s worth, never has such a mundane post made me laugh so hard. And the Friends reference at the end simply added brilliance and shine.
I still think the Ross/Rachel love scene in the museum where he rolls over a juice box is comic genius.
I sympathize for the destiny of the tuition.
I am making an equivalent of two car payments in monthly tuition so that a 12-year old can perfect all of the characters in Shakespearean tragedies. So it goes with the drama of tween girls.
Turning homework in on time, ahhhhh, not quite as well-perfected as Lady Macbeth.
I have one car payment (and a half w/ Nico’s preschool). Next year…two car payments. I’m scared.
I’m the opposite, I love to go through their clothes. That’s weird, right?
Also, Troy is in a 5T shirt and 4T pants. He’s probably going to be sharing clothes with Jeff like any day now.
Yes, that’s weird. ;)
Nicholas is in a 5T all around. I can’t believe there were 3T clothes that still fit him. Well, the pants were a no-go, but there were a couple of shirts and shorts that still fit him fine. I got rid of the shorts because I figure by the time he wears them again, they’ll be too tight.
You are so funny! I found your blog through the 31 days series, and I love your sense of humor. I am not married, and I don’t have kids, but I love to look at life through your lens of happy sarcasm! Keep it up!
Thank you, Carrie!
I did this same chore last week, for both my kids. I understand the sentiment. All those old “Lighting McQueen” shirts, and now he’s moved on to Pokemon. My daughter will be 10 in March…and this week, I bought her first cami-bra thing at Target, after circling them for a month and avoiding the whole row. For that, I really did almost need a cigarette.
I don’t envy moms of daughters. Bras, periods, boyfriends…make it go away!
hussies!!!!! lovelovelove you!
Aww, shucks. And I didn’t even have to buy you dinner! ;)
I am SO enjoying your William Morris experiement! And I share your feelings about the little shirts and shorts…I keep thinking there should be a PAUSE button somewhere!
Keep up the good work!
Thanks, Leigh!
I’m a kinda long time reader but first time commenting. First I must say that I love this series…it’s great! Lots of fun to go through this with you. But what I really came on here to say is GO PACKERS! Whoo!
Nicholas is obsessed, and has been since he was three! We have no idea where it came from!
May I add that I love all the hidden (and some not so hidden) pop culture references in your posts. They make me laugh and totally point at the screen and identify with you in an almost creepy neighbor-that-just-moved-in-omg-I-love-the-same-stuff-as-you! way.
I’m still waiting for the opportunity to toss in a little X-Files.
The truth is out there.
You are hilarious. I’m so glad I found your blog!
Thanks, Amy! I’m glad you are here and I’m glad you like it. :)
Thank you for starting my day off right – laughing. You’ve inspired me in a multitude of ways. Thanks for a great series. I’m sorry to see it end.
The purging of the clothes is such a job! I have various bags of ‘in transition’ clothes all over the place. My one-year-old’s outgrown clothes get put aside for a friend’s baby daughter. My three-year-old son’s clothes are more complicated though: some unisex items I keep aside for my daughter. Some clothes I put aside to give to a friend’s son. Some clothes that are the worse for wear, but technically could still be used, are set aside for Goodwill.
I also do the technique of just deciding that the child has outgrown a particular size, even if sometimes individual items still fit.