A couple of days after her mom’s funeral, Helena and I were categorizing her core group of friends. You know, like a sitcom. Adrienne is the fun and friendly Oregonian mystic, the only who sends “love, light, and healing vibes.” Becky is the charming one. She takes no bull and gets her way, but you won’t realize it until days later. Jeannette is quiet, observant, and protective. And then, me. I hoped I would be the charming one or the observant one. Instead, Helena said I was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the romantic idealist one. She didn’t even have to think about it.
It was a lot like getting your blood drawn. You know the needle is coming, but it still stings.
This characterization, however true it may be, is as disappointing as my power color, the color I receive the most compliments when wearing. It’s pink. Not black or gray or indigo or even fire engine red. Pink, the color of giggles and wishes. Pink, the color I don’t even like. (Sorry, Nicole.) Pink, the color I’m not even sure can be a power color.
Not to say I don’t work it when necessary. In law school, every time I went before a difficult professor or had an oral presentation, you better believe I showed up looking like a living, breathing mass of cotton candy. I explained all this to my friend, Laurel, as we were walking out of criminal procedure one day. She laughed. Two days later we were downstairs walking out of the library with some other friends when Professor Ramirez, a squat, lumbering, blowhard of a man graced me with a glance in my direction and surprised everyone, except me, by proclaiming with a sniff, “That color looks good on you.” I was wearing pink.
I am a romantic idealist who looks good in pink, gasping for air, drowning under a tidal wave of cliches.
To make matters more uncomfortable for me, I am, generally, a happy person. My default response during times of heightened emotions is sarcasm and humor. I want my books and movies to have happy-enough endings. And, yes, I like color.
I see homes with serene color schemes and I dream. I dream of a home with a relaxing expanse of shades of white and a touch of black. I would keep a crystal vase of peonies the color of a maiden’s cheek to show people I have a wild side. My Bichon Frise, Blanche, would make her home in a nest of tasteful pillows, only raising her head for the occasional organic treat.
Instead, on Wednesday I tripped over ancient beagles heaped like mounds of earth on a level field and stubbed my second toe on the brass edge of my campaign dresser. I looked up from nursing my foot and thought “Oh! Pretty!” I limped over to my camera.
I uploaded the picture and counted the colors with disbelief bordering on dismay.
My collection of rocks is taking over the house and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. The bright yellow lilies and roses are from the funeral. The turquoise lamp stands alongside silver frames that sit under a gold-leafed mountainscape. A vintage chesterfield in blue frames it all.
Six colors, three finishes. Oh my.
I want to be the hip girl with edges as sharp as the binding on her collection Dwell magazines. In reality, I’m the nice girl who likes to be happy, surrounds herself with color, and looks really, really, really good in pink.
This was really wonderfully written. Loved this piece.
Thank you.
Oh, I love it! And I feel your pain. The niece of a friend turned to me in disgust one day and said, “You laugh a lot.” Looking back, I should have said something stoic like, “Well pardon the hell out of me.” Instead, I’m sure I said something along the lines of, “yes, yes I do” … and then continued on my merry way …
Looking back, I should have said something stoic like, �Well pardon the hell out of me.�
Hah! In law school I wasn’t happy. I was pretty miserable. My family also doesn’t get to see me chipper all the time, which is a shame since they deserve to. I don’t see myself as a happy, romantic, idealist but, when I compare myself to other people, I guess I can see it? I’m not one of those people who believes life sucks overall, so I guess…
I couldn’t help but think of Elle Woods when you said pink was your power color, haha. I’m also a bit of a romantic/dreamer and “live inside my head” a lot. When I was working, I used to get so involved in a daydream when doing a mundane task that I would jump out of my skin when I was interrupted by a customer or co-worker. I’m embarrassed to say how often that occurs. My husband also startles me on a near daily basis. I’m also drawn to color although if one was to look at my “inspiration” pictures of interiors you’d think that I want an all white room with soft, pretty barely there romantic pastels. Ha! But in reality, I could never live with it. In real life, I need color and contrast. I really love the photo–I could definitely use it as inspiration for a daydream.
“I�m the nice girl who likes to be happy, surrounds herself with color, and looks really, really, really good in pink” And that’s what makes you ….. well, you. Oh, and I like pink too.
Julie
xoxo
Oh, honey, just own it! And keep laughing, you’ll live longer. (Also? I believe pink is universally flattering. Shh, don’t tell anyone.)
Hmmmm, your piece reminds me of the Fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, Goodness, and Faithfulness.
I would say you are mature.
Joyfulness is an Art.
I just looked up that verse, and at the end Paul tags on self-control. Ah, there is where I lose it. :)
PS: Now I am looking up my Power Color.
According to those online questionnaires, my power color is indigo.
At Your Highest:
You are on a fast track to success – and others believe in you.
At Your Lowest:
You require a lot of attention and praise.
In Love:
You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are.
How You’re Attractive:
Your dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic.
Your Eternal Question:
“Does This Work Into My Future Plans?”
But years ago I read a book on fashion and style that said your true power color is the color you receive the most compliments wearing. For me, that color is pink. Gah.
I did the power color questionnaire on line too but was too mortified to post that it said mine is “lime green.” Seriously? Lime green can’t be a “Power” color. Of course, these must be colors assigned to various personalities…still and all, I have never considered myself as a “lime green” sort.
I get a lot of compliments when I wear pink also. That is why I almost exclusively shop at White House Black Market and wear black.
I loved this piece because, I, too, have always wanted to be much hipper. Much cooler. Alas, I’m chipper & positive most of the time. The opposite of Cool Girl. Go ahead and own that pink power color! It’s mine, too! I’ve embraced it.
Fighting against my true inner nature always makes me get all tangled up and suffocated, like in a cocoon. That doesn’t mean I’m smart enough to never do it anymore. I would like to be: kinder, more outgoing, more open. But in the end, I’m pretty sarcastic, introverted and guarded, no matter how I try to “change.” We are who we are. Still trying to make peace with that.
(And, my house has a LOT of color…no serene white floors & walls for me, either.)
Well, I grew to disdain pink in my highschool and college years when I was becoming a woman and also becoming acquainted with feminism. Women have been traditionally viewed as weak, dreamy, delicate, tentative, blah, blah, blah… So, of course, I did not want to wear the color that has traditionally represented women. Doing so would mean I agreed with those views or that I was that way. Doing so would mean that I thought I was different from men and I could not accomplish what they did.
Now that I am in my thirties and working with powerful and successful women in corporations across the nation, I realize that women ARE different from men (duh!) and that those differences are what make them so effective. Corporations with higher representation of women at the top levels outperform those that do not have that representation. One of the key reasons behind it is that we are better at managing people, considering their feelings, less intent on being right and more intent on doing the right thing (so we don’t fear changing our minds), and open to asking questions instead of assuming we know everything. Behaviors that have been labeled weak and emotional in the past, are actually proving themselves to be quite effective in management.
So these days I do wear pink (it actually looks pretty good on me, too) and I do so with a different mindset. It feels like I am owning my womanhood and also highlighting that I am different and that the difference I bring is valuable.
I just love this post. I know I see myself differently than others do, and I’m usually shocked by their characterization of me. I have no idea what my power color is. Clearly, I need to figure this out.
I do like looking at pictures of more monotone interiors, but I have never had a room like that in my entire life!
I hadn’t read this until now, and somewhat interesting considering our conversation last night. I love all the colors in this picture, but for sure the one that strikes out to me the most is blue. Is that one of your favorite colors or did it all just happen that way by happy coincidence?
I really liked reading this and I like the picture that you took in your house. It looks like a lovely place.
There’s power in knowing the color that you look good in….even if it is pink, right?
Oh I just loved this.