They also carry parasols and ride side saddles, so perhaps I should shelve the excuse for one that would work in this century. I seem to have reached a bit of a plateau, which is completely natural with extended weight loss.� I know I need to exercise if I want to shoulder my way past it, but I am reluctant to admit that reading 1,000 trashy pages a week widens my derriere as effectively as it does my vocabulary.� (I’m currently reading Voyager by Diana Gabaldon for those who are keeping track.)
Months ago I, along with every other overweight female over 30 in the continental U.S., bought Shred by Jillian Michaels.� The fact she is shaped like a horse jockey and I like a piece of Renaissance porn means I harbored no illusions of cracking walnuts with my washboard stomach at the end of 30 days.� No, my main fitness goal was, if anything, to leap from hot showers in a single bound and shave 10 minutes off my next trip to IKEA.
I’ve never actually watched the video, but at least I removed the plastic and set it next to the hand weights I bought the same day.� Who am I kidding?� I’m not exactly sure where the video is.� The first (and only) time I tried to use it I couldn’t figure out how to work the volume thanks to a complicated electronic system fashioned by The Mister in order to support a DVD, Bose stereo, Apple T.V., and cable box.
I fiddled with the volume for, hmmm, 2.5 nanoseconds before I said, Oh well, what a shame.� Off to read. And as I headed to the couch, book in hand, I barely felt guilty about the fact that it takes longer for an atom to split than it does for me to lose my motivation to exercise.
And now, I type this as a metaphorical red flag, hoping that if I wave my own words back at myself furiously enough it will at least inspire me to find the video and then actually use it.� But not until I finish the next chapter of the book I am reading.� I’m at a really good part.
reading is definitely more fun. I ponied up for the 10 minute work out system and did a grand total of 10 minutes working out. I am hoping to give it another go after the kids return to school, they were all seated around me while I tried it despite my yelling at them to scram.
do it. im tellin’ you. it will change your life.
hahaahahah I love reading everything you write! hahahaha…. Yeah my atkins diet has crashed and burned and pretty much this whole week I have binged on every carb imaginable. hahahaha
I seem to buy all the workout videos but never seem to get around to doing them. I believe by just watching I will somehow lose the weight and get in great shape. Unfortunately it has yet to work, anybody know what I am doing wrong? MB
You crack me up! Your excuses for not exercising sound exactly like mine.
On a side note, I LOVED the Outlander series! Makes me want to move to Scotland & find my own hot, dirty, kilt-wearin’ man. Mmm….dirty kilt wearin’ men…..:)
Hah! That’s funny, Ashley, because I was having that same discussion with a friend of mine just last night. :)
Oh, voyager is total book crack.. exercise never stood a chance! :)
“The fact she is shaped like a horse jockey and I like a piece of Renaissance porn” is by far the funniest thing I have read in a long time!
I too bought 30 Day Shred some months ago. I’ve done it – once. Couldn’t walk for about 4 days afterwards. But have plans to try again – soon(ish)!
“Renaissance porn ” I was doing just fine until I read that – then I spit my coffee all over my monitor. :-)
Too funny! If you continue your aversion to Miss Jockey, I will gladly take her off your hands… I would like to try cracking nuts with my washboard abs. Yeah, right – who am I kidding?
I’m laughing so hard, I’m probably going to spell “renaissance porn” wrong. I love how you wrote that! Nice full-figured imagery. I think most of us can relate. Everyone maybe, except Jillian.
Mmmm ‘Voyager’. You know my take on that. Yummy!
Hey, could be worse Jules, could be “Voyeur” I did a double-take to make sure that’s not what it said. ;) And OH MY GOSH….Renaissance porn…really? LOL You mean you’re a real woman??? I will never look like one of those women, but they will never kiss my babies goodnight!!!! And those breasts (what there are of them) have never nourished or nurtured (as pillows) my children either. I’ll take “me” thanks…don’t get me wrong, in ummmm, 18 1/2 weeks I intend to be on the WAY DOWN in weight. ;) And I’ll need the info for that PCOS diet. ;)
“The fact she is shaped like a horse jockey and I like a piece of Renaissance porn”. why you don’t make millions of dollars off your pen is beyond moi…
You are too funny. Good luck with the shred. And with the quicker trip to Ikea. You can do it!
Too funny! I bought this DVD, too, and have used it a little. It is very hard, though. I need to get back into it, but I dread it so much that I continue to put it off:-).