The family game night was another item I wanted to start up, but so far it hasn’t happened. We’re close. The boys are getting older and their games finally more interesting. (Candyland is for the birds.) Of critical importance, however, is their emotional maturity. They are almost at the age where playing with me won’t result in life-long, irreparable trauma. Playing Battleship with me isn’t like entering an arena with an unchained lion, but it’s close.
In preparation for the day I snuff the innocence from my sons’ eyes with a ruthless Stonewall Attack while stroking a green-eyed cat, I decided to clean out the future game cabinet. It was, as usual, the place where “Mom said to clean up or we’re grounded” stuff and things went.
I took out Legos, paper, a Hawaiian necklace, model airplane supplies, and a Star Wars book.
From the top of the cabinet I removed trophies and a Clone helmet.
It was a matter of organizing the linens and putting the games all on the shame bottom shelf. When I finished I decided to give my fiddle leaf fig tree a leaf bath (don’t let dust collect on leaves if you want healthy plants–it blocks the sunlight and reduces the plant’s ability to photosynthesize) when I noticed my spider plant was not happy in his new corner of the house. Really unhappy. Edward Cullen unhappy. The situation was dire.
I put him in the shower and sprayed him down with cold water, trimmed as much as I was willing (I need to go back and trim down to the base), and moved him next to the cabinet, which is directly across from our large slider. I lucked out and remembered I had an old plant stand in the office collecting dust. It’s not something I would normally have in the house, but the plant stands I like are cheaper online and I needed something right then.
Anyway, he’ll get eastern light here. The corner where he was at was indirect north-east and clearly not enough. It’s also possible the draft from the window was too much for him since spider plants like humidity.
In conclusion, I cleaned the future game cabinet. Also, I used personal pronouns when discussing my plants. This is, I believe, the best point at which to conclude this post and still maintain a modicum of dignity.