I finished reading Daughter of Smoke and Bone (a gift from my friend, Erin) shortly before Nico lost his right front tooth, so my first response to having a tooth in the house was to hide it before someone alerted our local chimera demon in charge of reincarnating the warrior race of mythical animals.
Nicholas is incredibly sensitive and sentimental. Everything has meaning, everything has a memory. He once burst into tears when I mentioned I was going to toss a stained-beyond-repair pair of training underwear I found deep in his dresser.
“I [sob] was [sob] going [sob] to [sob] give that underwear to my kids! [sooooooooooooob]”
The tooth fairy, as you can imagine, has seen no action from Nicholas. Once, with his first tooth, but that was only after weeks of him staring lovingly at his tooth next to him on the nightstand. The $2 he received in exchange was not worth the trauma. The three other teeth he has lost since then have stayed with him until he loses them on the playground, riding bikes, or just being Nicholas.
I acted overly excited on Tuesday about bedtime in hopes of getting him in the mood to relinquish his tooth. No such luck, and note that I waited three days to even broach the idea. The second I mentioned teeth he burst into tears.
“I’m going to miss this tooth so much! It’s my favorite tooth!”
He plead his case to the tooth fairy, because he knows no tooth = no money.
Dear Tooth Fairy,
I love my tooth so much can I [still keep] it but can I [still] get the [dollar bills]?
love
Nico.
- The giant crying tooth
- The period at the end of Nico
- The name underlined for emphasis
- The rapper like plea for money
- Please link to a specific post, not a general blog address.
- Your post must relate to your efforts to create an intentional home. I have a delete button, and I�m not afraid to use it.
- No links to giveaways, please.
- Let�s use this weekly link up as an opportunity to gather inspiration and motivation. Click links. Discover new people. Say hi and good job and all that stuff.
The tooth fairy didn’t stand a chance. I put everyone to bed, told Nicholas to take deep breaths and think “nice fairies” and go to bed. Then I got to work on a reply note from the tooth fairy, something I got way too into and spent way too much time making. This should surprise no one.
It actually didn’t take that long. I found an official looking tooth image online (don’t laugh) and then typed up a formal sounding response which amused me but may have confused/terrified Nico (more on that later). Printing it is was took the longest because I have no luck printing anything when I need it right away.
The note reads as follows.
June 18, 2013Dear Nico,
Thank you for the lovely note regarding the right central incisor (front tooth) you lost on Sunday, June 16, 2013 in the car on your way home from church. According to our records, your left central incisor is also very loose! I am expecting an email from the Tooth Patrol any day now letting me know that you have lost yet another tooth. Congratulations! You are doing a fabulous job.
I have reviewed your file and I see that despite all the teeth you have lost, you have only put one tooth under your pillow, and that was weeks after I received an alert from the Tooth Patrol. This was the most talked about mystery in the office until your note tonight. I can see from your note that you are a very sensitive, sentimental little boy who enjoys surrounding himself with happy memories, and of course your teeth are full of happy memories! Friday pizza night, birthday cakes, tickle attacks, and so many knock=knock jokes make your teeth some of the happiest, memory-filled teeth this office has ever seen!
Of course I would love to bring back to the office such happy teeth, but the picture of the tooth you drew makes me think your right central incisor would be happier staying at home. So, it is with great pleasure that I tell you your request for tooth retention has been approved!
Please do enjoy your tooth, and remember to brush and floss the teeth that are coming in. All of us here at The Office of Dental Recycling and Management want you to always have such happy teeth.
All my love,
Fidget Vineweb
Dental Field Agent in Charge
Badge No. 569721
Yes, plenty of typos and errors. I was tired and over it, stupid printer.
I thought it was cute. Nico was more impressed with the kiss the tooth fairy left on the envelope. The letter itself, not so much. Nicholas, for all his loud and wild ways, is shy and timid around adults–at least at first. As I read the note to him he blushed and hid his head on my shoulder as if Dental Field Agent in Charge Fidget Vineweb was in the room with him. When I got to the part about her and the Tooth Patrol knowing he had another loose tooth, Nico’s eyes opened up like saucers and started scanning the room and then the sky, as if Fidget Vineweb and her cronies were lying in wait.
Mikey, on the other hand, wanted to know if Dental Field Agent in Charge Fidget Vineweb was his tooth fairy, too, or if each child was assigned a fairy. Only Mikey would ask questions on organizational structure and procedures in Fairyland.
Yes! Now I am left with another tooth to store until Nico loses it somewhere. I’m not a tooth keeper. I see them as something you hold onto and then do I don’t know what with them when your children have things like diplomas, babies, and spouses. When I was in high school I found a box of teeth in my mom’s nightstand. When I asked her who they belonged to she said, “I don’t know, but they definitely belong to you, Michael, or Paul.”
Whew! What a relief that was. I hated to think our teeth were mixed in with the teeth of all those other kids.
Now it�s your turn! Feel free to share how you have lived according to the William Morris quote, �Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.� Made a plan? Cleaned a drawer? Bought a sofa? Tell us about it with a link or comment. A few guidelines:
love the letter! I made business cards for our tooth fairy and leave them with a little glitter, but them my kids are just in it for the cash!
According to Nico’s note, so are my kids!
This is hilarious. Nico reminds me of my oldest, Hugh. Everything is precious and interesting to him. Example from yesterday: Our city distributed new recycling bins last week. When I explained that the old ones would be picked up by the city on the next recycling day, Hugh was devastated. “No! I love those bins! We need to keep them! I could do something with them! Can’t we please keep them?!” Hands over his face, complete anguish. I’m going to have to sneak them out to the curb next week.
This is absolutely Nicholas. In fact, one of our trash cans is looking a little worse for the wear. My husband mentioned we were going to have to get a new one soon and Nico reacted just like your son did. Um, huh? Good Lord, child, we’re talking about a filthy trash can!
I don’t know where to start:
a) I have pitched the mint plant that finally died, unused, in it’s container on the kitchen counter. It is no longer pretty or ‘useful’, but it was continually making me think about the frailty of life in general, so I kept it around until today when I decided it depressed me. That is my William Morris act for the week. My husband will be thrilled.
b) That picture of Nico holding the envelope is beyond precious.
c) The letter. I died. It’s beyond awesome. Great work!
d) I read ‘Tooth Patrol’ and immediately thought of drones. What does that say about the state of things?
e) I love the name Fidget Vineweb. Did it take you forever to come up with a good name? I would have agonized for hours!
Is Fidget Vineweb the best name ever? I take no credit for it. I played around with a fairy name generator I found online. Not even kidding.
That’s awesome. Our tooth fairy is rather forgetful and often has rather cranky notes left for her. Oops.
The first and only time Nico had the courage to leave his tooth? Fidget blew it.
That was just so sweet I had to reply! What a precious boy you have who is so sentimental! Also I think you should make that story into a children’s book, you definitely have a way with words and a lot of good material at your fingertips!
My children are all in their 20’s and 31. time flies and now I am enjoying grandchildren and their funny ways.
Nita
Hah. My husband said the same thing. He wants to hear more about Fidget Vineweb.
A) You are completely bonkers, in a totally awesome way.
B) Mikey kills me. Hope you have another amazing tooth-fairy name in mind for him.
C) I love your mom.
A) You are absolutely correct.
B) I do not, but I think I’m going to have to come up with something because I had way too much fun writing that letter.
C) She is where I get my bonkers from, but she’s more absent-minded professor instead of creative/crazy.
One night, I was on the phone with my mom, and my kids were messing around in my room. I wasn’t paying attention to them (even though I was in the same room), and the next thing I knew, the little box I kept their teeth in was being waved in my face. “What’s this?!?” “Are these OUR teeth?” “I thought the Tooth Fairy TOOK them!”
I faked ignorance (badly), concocted a lame theory that, perhaps, the Tooth Fairy knew how much I wanted to keep the teeth and so had left them in that box for me to find. That was the beginning of the end for all the magical bringers of presents. :-( It was also the beginning of trying to prove that they are Mom. Thus, I have the lovely memory of digging around my son’s room in the dark, trying to find the tooth he hid in an attempt to prove that there is no Tooth Fairy. (A real tooth fairy could use her powers to find it, you know.) The Tooth Fairy left a stern note of rebuke that time, but not on such official paper. I’m sure if I could have found a seal, they would have bought it.
that is awesome. i can pinpoint which of my nieces and nephews would hide the tooth to get the upper hand on this supposed “tooth fairy”…
That is awesome! Such smart kids to hide the tooth! I love the stern letter of rebuke. That made me laugh out loud. :)
I. Love. This.
Totally made my day. And you are an awesome mom!
Thanks! :) If only wacky letters were all it took…
That letter is amazing! I love it! I never knew what to do with teeth. I threw them out because it kind of grossed me out to keep them…but that seemed rather sad as well.
I don’t know what to do with teeth, either. Nico losing his solves 50% of the problem.
I want you to be my mom.
Haha! Let’s wait to see how the boys grow up and see if you still think that. ;)
That letter is magical. I wish my mom had been so creative. I would have eaten it up!
Funny how this story is still so appropriate for the William Morris Challenge. Nico believes his tooth to be beautiful!
Bingo! I thought there a thin, but plausible tie-in. :)
I would have eaten something like this up, too. My mom wasn’t creative, either. She was full on immigrant practical.
Nico is the Tooth Dominator! I agree about the story making a wonderful childrens’ book. Your sons are very lucky children to have you as their Mother. And you inspire me with your walking and the photos you take.
Stella wins the thread. Tooth dominator. I’m gonna chuckle all day.
I agree! Tooth Dominator IS awesome and sounds like something Nico would approve of. :)
Haha! Actually, today Nico was calling himself The Dominator of Tooths! (Toofs, because now he has a worse lisp than usual.)
It’s possible this is the funniest post ever! There’s so much to love here. Ick – I have issues about teeth and recently threw away the teeth in alcohol that had belonged to the now 24yo. I felt somewhat guilty about not wanting to save them, but seriously – what would I do? Make a necklace? Put them in a scrapbook? I’m very sentimental and so keep many things in scrapbooks but not teeth!
When the 24yo was 9 she asked me point blank if the TF was real. I tried the recommended “What do you think?” approach but she refused to go with it. Pretending was one thing, a flat out lie from the Inquisitor was another. So I told her The Truth and she burst into tears. Not a stellar parenting moment but I was stymied. (That was neither the first nor the last time she stymied me.)
Really what she said was “Are you the Tooth Fairy” – even harder to duck that question. She has made it absolutely clear she does not want to be a lawyer like I am, but she would be hell on questioning a hostile witness!
I saw the look Mikey gave me. His wheels were turning. I hear 9 is the year fairytales die, so we’ll see.
So we’re all in agreement that it’s okay to get rid of the teeth? I’ve got like seven or eight of them in my sock drawer right now for lack of more appropriate storage space. The other day Gentleman was putting laundry away for the first time in his life and accidentally touched a tooth. You think he’s going to want to do that ever again? Can we just all toss the teeth together on the count of three and then hug it out?
I say it’s perfectly fine to get rid of the teeth. Like Susan said–what are supposed to do with them? It’s like the people who keep the umbilical cord that falls off their newborn and keep it in a scrap book. Why?
Your letter is awesome! I’m not as creative and we’re lucky the Tooth Fairy even remembers our route. As for saving teeth… nope. Out they go as soon as the tooth fairy has had their way with them, but I LOVE your mom’s response about your baby teeth. LOL. That about sums it up .
Agree!
This is the most hilarious/adorable/tender thing ever! I don’t know whose letter I love the most–yours or Nico’s. The official seal, the technical language of yours but he has the punctuation, the sad tooth and the excitement of the billzz. I call it as like mother, like son. You both have the gift.
Nico’s letter wins. The tooth! That tooth with the tears! It just killzz me.
I have also written missives from the tooth fairy, but in NO WAY as detailed and full of information & creativity as yours. (I mean, we’re talking 2-3 sentences, written in my tiniest print and then smeared with sparkly lip-gloss for “fairy effect.”) My Tucker sounds like a combo of both your boys’ traits: incredibly sensitive & sentimental hoarder, but lawyer-like with his logical interrogation about the scientific facts.
Also: Nico’s sad tooth needs to be enlarged and but on a shirt. I love it. :)
I didn’t even think about the super small writing or the glitter! That would have been the logical way to write a fairy letter, but clearly I had other ideas.
That tooth is so awesome I can’t even stand it.
My kids are in their thirties and I just recently tossed the teeth! Love love the letter! I have much practice with leprechaun letters, being an old kindergarten teacher:)
I have never thought about leprechauns leaving letters! I should start a mythical creative letter writing business.
Those letters would sell in. a. hurry. I know they would.
So creative and adorable!!!! I love the letter, and the official-ness of it. And that name! Gah! Perfect- Fidget Vineweb- I can just see her at her little fairy desk typing the letter. I was wondering how you would handle William Morris this week….fantastic.
The fairy name is perfect, and I can say that because I had nothing to do with creating it. I love the image of her at her desk typing away. I’m going to have to think about that some more. :)
So creative, Jules! (Quick note to say I haven’t viewed teeth the same way since reading Daughter of Smoke & Bone. I’m anxiously awaiting book 3’s release!)
I haven’t read book 2 yet. I just finished Matched–like just now–and I don’t know that I’ll read book 2. The thing with YA is that once you’ve read once you’ve kind of read them all. I didn’t feel that way with Daughter of Smoke and Bone.
That’s hysterical. And I can imagine him yelling “DOLLAR DOLLAR BILLZ Y’ALL!”
Hahaha! Yes, it was the wording that made me laugh, too.
Has your household seen “Legend of the Guardians” yet? The Tooth Fairy and her organization are like a little Delta Force – she’s all “GO GO EXECUTE!!!” She has a perfectly legitimate explanation for what they do with all those teeth.
I am not at all sentimental about keeping anything except for stuffed animals. When we moved a few years ago, we really couldn’t take them all with us, so I left the house while my husband gathered a bunch of them up and, um, put them all on a plane to Stuffed Animal Disneyland. Or at least that’s what he told me.
WHAT? I have to see this movie. Wait, I just looked at the trailer and it’s about owls. Are yout alking about that movie? It looks really good, regardless.
Rise of the guardians, right? I loved it. :)
Oh yeah, thanks, Robin! It’s Rise and not Legend – that was the owl one maybe. I am notoriously, epically bad at remembering titles.
Sorry, Jules, it’s Rise of the Guardians. The world-building is beautiful – we pause the DVD a lot just to look around like tourists.
The owl movie actually scared me.
Everybody wins in fairyland! Great, great story.
Thanks, May. :)
I have no words for this post. I love it so much I’m speechless.
“Only Mikey would ask questions on organizational structure and procedures in Fairyland.” Fabulous line in a fabulous post, hahaha!
Gosh I wrote about this sort of thing a couple of years ago re: Ethan’s hair. http://www.fiercebeagle.com/2010/03/two-paths-diverged-in-salon.html
And I’ve been trying to live by the William Morris Project parameters for some time now; I just haven’t gotten around to blogging about it. I will, though! I will!
I’ve always kept World’s Smallest Post Service (http://www.leafcutterdesigns.com/shop/wsps/about.html) in mind for future kids and tooth fairy business, but I think your letter just trumped the tiny notes. I read the whole note when you posted it on Instagram and love it so much. Amazing work.
You h ave eagle eyes! I didn’t think anyone could read it on instagram! It looked so blurry to me.
Awwww, he wanted to give his training undies to his kids! My heart melts.
Also, when I was a kid (past believing in Tooth Fairy age), I stumbled upon a bunch of teeth in my mom’s old jewelry box and was HORRIFIED.
Best tooth fairy letter EVER. So official.