I know. I can’t believe I am going to do Weight Watchers again, but I am. It is something I have been debating for a couple of months, and I have reached the conclusion this is something I need to do right now. My meal plan has been very sloppy lately, and I can’t have that or I will gain back the 50 pounds I have lost. As it is, I am already up 5-7 pounds in holiday weight. I’m trying not to panic. Normal people gain weight during the holidays only to slowly lose it again throughout the year.
Here is my concern. I don’t think I am “normal people” when it comes to food. I am too much of a negligent snacker and meal skipper, which is exactly what I have been doing since the holiday rush started. No breakfast, snack, snack. No lunch until around 3:00pm when I realize I AM STARVING. Snack, snack, snack. Light dinner because, hello, I’m full from snacking. Late night rolls around, hungry again. Or tired. Or stressed. Or any other sort of emotion that for me is tied to snacking. For example, Mikey has been sick since last night. First with vomiting, now with a fever. I am a nervous wreck, sad that he feels so poorly. I wrote my elephant post today to take my mind off things, but it didn’t work. Tonight I ate a small bowl of popcorn after dinner.
On Monday I decided to cut out the snacking. The number of times I caught myself reaching for a mindless thing (cracker, cookie, chocolate, etc.) was disgusting! With the boys, I am in and out of the kitchen all day long. Juice, water, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks…and all the while the counters are laden with holiday food I shouldn’t be considering, let alone mindlessly eating. Notice I didn’t write mindlessly enjoying. The truth of the matter is that most of what I have been eating just didn’t taste all that great.
Eating something that doesn’t taste good isn’t normal. Actually, I take that back. I think for many of us it is becoming the new normal. What I should say is that eating something that doesn’t taste good will not be my normal.
I don’t expect Weight Watchers to help me with this aspect of my diet, but I do expect to work the food plan to my advantage. I intend to regain a rational relationship with food using a structured meal plan and the regular meetings where there will be (please, God!) positive and supportive individuals on a similar journey. Of course, I will continue working with Jorjana, as she has been instrumental in helping me lose the weight I have thus far.
I don’t consider this a resolution for the new year because, like taking a shower or brushing my teeth, losing the holiday weight along with the rest of the weight I have to lose is something that will happen, not something I hope to achieve if I really, really, really try. I did not lose 50 pounds only to gain it all back. If my mom is not a lamp, I am not a yo-yo.
Whew. Glad I got that off my chest. 🙂
In other news, after two years of hearing people rave about this book, I caved and bought Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. Have you read it? I will let you know what I think once I am done.