I think we all wish we could erase some dark times in our lives. But all of life’s experiences, bad and good, make you who you are. Erasing any of life’s experiences would be a great mistake. –Luis Miguel
In one week we have lost a job and gained a job and lost it once again. On Wednesday evening the Mister posted for the open position, the one he received a call about on Monday. Thursday morning the hiring manager emailed him to say there had been a mistake. The job in Orange County was actually in LA County and, since we live outside county lines and won’t move, the Mister was ineligible for the position.
You win some, you lose some.
Mikey was sick, and I was sick, and so now are the Mister and Nico.
When it rains it pours.
I looked into reactivating my license and starting up a law practice only to be confronted with exorbitant malpractice insurance premiums, hours of continuing legal education units to complete, and numerous other costs that currently exceed our budget.
A day late and a dollar short.
And yet. Yet. This week was also very good, too. I had the Mister all to myself this week, and for three days he took care of the boys and the house while I slept in a Nyquil induced haze. We had lunch together as a family everyday, and on Monday watched Star Wars on an old VHS tape the Mister bought when he was still in college. I didn’t burn the toast. I always burn the toast, but not this time. I didn’t burn the toast several times this week. Each time it came out practically perfect, like a sign of things to come.
So, despite the disappointment and illness and stress and short tempers of this past week I can’t help but feel excited at the idea of what is yet to come. Terrified, stressed, and out of control, too, but excited nonetheless. When I was in law school, I didn’t think I would make it. I felt it would be impossible to survive, let alone graduate. But, I graduated. I succeeded at something I didn’t even think I was capable of completing, and I walked away from the experience more confident, more determined, and more powerful than I was when I started. Is it wrong of me to expect nothing less from this experience?
I don’t think so. Like I said, I didn’t burn the toast. That has to mean something.