I have known the Confirmation program director of our parish for over 30 years. Not once did I predict a middle-aged oblate of St. Benedict with a Julius Caesar haircut would dispense advice on the art of risky decorating in the form of an icebreaker question for 1st-year candidates. Please stick with me. A picture of a giant wall rosary from Bethlehem is not the harbinger of a niche post one would think.
It was Fall 2018 and Mikey’s first Confirmation class. Introduction, stare, joke, silent teenagers. Then, an icebreaker. “If someone were to enter your home, would they know you are Catholic?” Eighty or so eyeballs blinked. Confirmation is the least exciting sacrament on the list for a jaded teenager: no fancy outfit, no perceived life change, and no sick or dying people. These teenagers and their sponsors just signed up to attend three years of classes, retreats, community service, and Life Nights for a sacrament many Catholics skip over. Surely everyone knows they are Catholic.
“What would scream Catholic if I walked into your house right now,” he pressed. A few hands went up.
“We have a cross on the wall.”
“All Christians have crosses. What would make me think you are Catholic?”
Blink.
“We have a Bible!”
“Where? Can anyone see it and tell it’s Catholic?”
Blink.
A few more hands went up. A few more eyes blinked.
“You are devoting three years of your life to receiving your sacrment of Confirmation, so I am guessing your faith is important to you. It should be the center of your life. Something that is the center of your life should be obvious to anyone, anytime.”
Risky Decorating
I have thought about that first Confirmation class ever since. I finally found what was missing from my favorite William Morris quote. An object can be objectively useful and beautiful without being central to who you are.
Minimalist rooms are useful and beautiful.
Scandinavian rooms are useful and beautiful.
Eclectic, maximalist rooms are useful and beautiful.
Any design style can produce a useful and beautiful room, but unless that room says something about the occupant, it is a box with walls no one can scale. I do not need to declutter until I whittle my closet down to 32 items, and I do not need a throw blanket in Pantone’s color of the year. I do not need English Country Style, or Dowager Design, or the Eccentric Grandmother with a Weekend Home Look. No one does.
I need the courage to make myself vulnerable with openness and honesty and a little risky decorating.
Welcome! Come inside. This is us.
I’m so glad to read your posts here again – I always so enjoy them. You’ve given me some ideas for my own home :)
“Something that is the center of your life should be obvious to anyone, anytime.” Wow. This comment really struck me today. I hadn’t thought decorating my home needed to show my faith. His words have convicted me and I am now processing these new thoughts. I’m not sure my decorating needs to scream, but someone entering my home should “feel” welcome and love. I have been struggling with my faith lately and this is an added layer. Thank you for continuing to share your thoughts and words.
No, it shouldn’t scream. It’s not limited to faith, which I should have done a better job articulating. Anything that is central to who you are/your family is should be reflected in your surroundings. You wouldn’t go to a musician’s house and not find an instrument. Same with a book lover, athlete, baker, bird watcher…anything! If your home doesn’t reflect your passions, does it have a soul?
Agreed. Thank you for the clarification of your thoughts. I am looking forward to looking at my home through this lens.
I love everything about this. And I think it speaks to why I find myself growing weary of much of design IG these days – the rooms could belong to anyone, which means they aren’t “me”
And +1 on being so excited that you are writing blog posts again.
You are so right. Instagram is realtor design–don’t put up anything personal so that anyone can feel they live there. I am +1 excited to be here!
So interesting! We are Jewish and have a mezuzah on our doorpost. More broadly, the first thing you see when walking into our home is our piano, a bookshelf with books and plants on it and our pets. Great post!
I love it! You’ve given me something to think about in considering what people see at/just inside the front door.
My grandparent’s home was Catholic. They had the crucifix with their palms and a rosary, statues of Mary, maybe even a picture of Pope John Paul II. (I may be misremembering but I don’t think it.) My mom left the church for fundie evangelicalism and you can definitely tell by their house that they are Christian.
I love that you are sharing this in your home. Our homes should reflect who we are – and if we are people of faith they should see that too.
The same if we are art lovers, equestrians, animal activists, political activists, etc. Our passions should be obvious. I remember being in an RCIA meeting lead by a retired judge once heavily involved in international politics. He brought in his signed United Nations poster from the 1990s for us to admire as he spoke. I thought that was so cool and could absolutely imagine it hanging in a prime location in his house.
This post really resonates with me, on the faith level and on the ‘it’s fashionable to be minimalist’ level. I’m not Catholic, but went to a convent so feel an honorary Catholic, and unlike so many people am so thankful I went to a Christian school ( apart from listening to so many stories about saints in R.E and be terrified I’d hear the voice of God telling me he He wanted me to be a nun when I was 11). I remember being in a bible study and being asked “If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you ?” I try to bear/bare (never know which one!)that in mind.
On a less spiritual note, thanks for validating a life of not being minimalist. Our homes should reflect who we are, which gives me permission to keep what I love, whilst at the same time removing things I don’t need as someone else might be glad if them !
I’ve wittered enough now, but also wanted to say that I’m so pleased you’re blogging again! PennyL in Dorset, U.K
Thank you, Penny! I am glad to be back. Very cute/funny story about fearing the call to be a nun! I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of a calling and envied those who heard one so clearly!
This reminds me of my pastor’s sermon on Sunday.
If God is number one in your life – prove it!
Like anything in your life – if it is number one in your life then anyone should look and KNOW that about you.
Exactly. But we all look to social media and Target to tell us who we are. It’s such an easy trap to fall into.
Thank you for posting to IG stories that you have a new post! You have a swipe up in my eyes ;) Such a great thought. When something is so important as our faith it should be evident everywhere.
Hahahaha!! Instagram and that damn swipe up! I will never measure up! :D
This is a good thing for me to ponder. I’m one of those hesitant decorators because I always fear I won’t like it/won’t do it right. So I’m facing empty walls. But if I just fill walls with things that tell my story, what am I so scared of? Thanks for the nudge.