Every October for a few years now, I’ve done 31-day posts on organizing and decluttering. For obvious reasons, this year I’m not going to do that. Last week, if you asked me what I was doing, I would have said that I’m taking the entire month of October away from blogging and social media. At the end of that time, I would have made my mind up about what to do, where to go.
I think last week’s meltdown had a lot to do with hearing the Mister did not get a promotion that would keep him home instead of traveling all the time. Now, after a few days to process what this means, we’re taking it in stride. He still has an excellent job, we have our health, and we have our boys. His time away from home we’ll just have to figure out. Our number one goal is to create more intentional family time. I’m feeling much better about things.
I’ve been toying with putting the boys in Boy Scouts (they both really want to do it) because of all the trips and family activities they offer. The only reason I haven’t signed them up yet is that I hear it will be a lot of work for me. Meetings, dinners, weekly activities…I’m not sure I can put that on my plate. Does anyone have Boy Scout experience? Is it worth it, especially going all the way up to Eagle Scout? I know one guy who was an Eagle Scout, and he is doing very well for himself. The Mister knows two Eagle Scouts, both at executive levels in his company. It sounds like a ticket to success from our limited experience, so we need perspective. Perhaps a few of you know Eagle Scouts who are bottom rung cookers in a small-town meth ring?
In the meantime, I have a book club pick. Since it’s such a long book, I’m going to give us at least two months to read it.
It’s Diana Gabaldon’s Written in My Own Heart’s Blood. I’ve been reading the Outlander series for the last…10 years? It takes Gabaldon 2-3 years to complete a book, and I know when I started reading the series the first three were already out. My friend Kendra and I have been waiting for the series to become a movie/TV show for years, and I remember when they were talking about turning it into a movie, we were dubious. If you’ve read the books, you know they are impossible to make into a movie. You can’t take a 900 page book and condense it to 90 minutes without losing some of the magic, to say nothing about major plot points.
I got cable for the first time in years so I can watch the show. It hasn’t been too bad! I was really worried, but so far it’s been great. Kendra, true to form, is one of the admins for an Outlander fanclub. She was invited to the premiere at ComicCon!
What say you? Have you read any of the books, and are you ready to give a 900 page book a try?
(I know from Facebook that some of you consider the books fluff, and some of you think they’re way too dense and not fluffy enough. There are definitely differences in opinion!)
I love the history in Diana’s books. And don’t consider it fluff . The hard thing for me in her series is there are so many characters and I forget in between book readings who is who. You know how there is cliff notes for students? There needs to be middle age notes for those of us with memory impairments.
Caution adding activities while husband is away. It’s easy to add activities. But harder to take them away- usually only after tears and meltdowns. I have learned this the hard way. You have added a lot to your plate this year. Proceed carefully before drinking the extra busyness and frantic driving as the norm koolaid.
I don’t think they’re fluff, either. I think people think it’s fluff because it was mistakenly categorized as a romance when the series first started.
The Boy Scouts–at least at cub level– do now require that a parent essentially go through every bit of it with their son. That’s good in some ways, but I was very frustrated at how little it did to foster any sense of independence. Or creativity, really. Cub scouts have an extensive curriculum that must be followed to the letter. And having so many adults banging around everything unfortunately opens the door to ridiculous power struggles that, honestly, have nothing to do with the kids.
We had a truly excellent experience with Girl Scouts. We had to run away from Boy Scouts. Maybe if our den/troop/whatever had had better leadership we would have felt differently.
I’ve heard that being in the right troop is critical to a pleasant cub scout experience. The makes me a little nervous! Helicopter parents annoy the crap out of me on a regular day. Put me in a room with them for an extracurricular activity, and my patience goes out the window.
You can shop around for the right pack/troop for you. We’ve had lots of troubles with our pack but decided to stay and try to improve it. it’s the oldest pack in our town and if we left (we’re leaders of two dens) it would kill off the pack. My DH has visited other packs just to see what they are like. So feel free to try different ones on! We have a lot of fun with our boys in cub scouting. Cub scouts is more family oriented but when the boys reach Weblos (4th grade) the leaders start working with them to become more independent. When they reach Scouts the parents are supposed to sit back, watch and drink coffee!
I have no experience with Scouts, as I am only a doggie Mom, and pupsters haven’t figured out how to organize other dogs yet.
I know you want to do everything you can possibly can for your boys, but I fear several things (the exact same things that would be weighing on me if I were in your shoes): that it will be too much for you, time-wise — aren’t you already a teacher’s assistant? etc….; that you will feel guilty about this; that you will begin to associate doing something for the boys with your own guilt and feelings of being overwhelmed; that politics and parental dissent (as the other two commenters have mentioned) might push you over the edge (although I’m sure it would result in many hilarious posts…); and that you won’t be able to retreat without many tears, etc. (also as another commenter mentioned).
Maybe instead make up your own Scouts kind of activity thingie, on your own time, your own schedule, as a way of getting more boy time. Inviting a few of the boys friends to come along. Maybe that way you’ll get an idea of what being a full-time Scouts parent would be like …. whatever you chose, I know you will manage it.
Thanks for letting us into your life Jules. I think *that* is valuable for many and endlessly entertaining for those of us who only know you via P & F.
You make a bunch of great points, and have touched upon the very things I’m worried about. How can I do it all when I’m alone most of the time? My husband is really eager to do scouts because the scheduled trips (he’s home every weekend) make it easy for us (him) to get up and go. No scheduling, no waffling, no putting it off until the boys are grown and gone. What is that saying? The days are long but the years are short.
I love this series and sadly find my self humming the theme song that accompanies the TV series. Epic novels are a fun distraction and when one is looking you can skim. :) Although I wouldn’t recommend that too often.
I said it before and I’ll say it again: I TOLD YOU SO. :D
Neither of my boys participate in Boy Scouts. They both play baseball and play an instrument. The younger one may have enjoyed scouts, but he really likes his unstructured time as well. It takes a long time to become an Eagle Scout so I would imagine it would require a great deal of dedication and perseverance. I wonder what percentage of boys stick with it through Eagle Scouts.
Nico really, really wants to do it, but he loves the idea of camping. I’m wondering if we can’t just be more intentional about planning our family time. I’M SO TORN.
My oldest son is involved in cub scouts (2nd grade), wolf cub. My youngest is in kinder…too young to join, but will next year. I’ve found cub scouts to be very stress-free as far as activities. We have about 3 commitments a month: 1 den meeting every other week (1 hour) & 1 pack meeting each month (1 hour). Then pepper in some camp outs and other pack activities (not required). Also, my boys do not partake in other activities. Once my boys head to middle school (6th grade in our area), they will head to boy scouts where it gets a little more involved. As a family, I like it. I was welcome to bring my youngest son last year to any activity which was a relief as my husband travels for work. (He was even invited to partake in the activities.)
Nico would be wolf cub. Mikey would be a webelos I, and he’d have to hit the ground running to make webelos II in time. That’s what has me so worried!
I know a couple of Eagle scouts who are just average guys careerwise.
I agree with above commenters about not putting too much on your plate. Your boys are already in so many activities that it’s probably better for them to get some downtime once in awhile too instead of adding more to their plates. One thing I have noticed since moving to north Orange County last February is that there are so many activities for kids and so many kids are doing all the things and so many moms are so crazy busy stressed. There just might be a correlation there.
They’re actually not in too many activities…anymore. Before, yes. But when school started and I started working full time alongside them, I realized real quick that I can’t do it all. We cut out swimming (4x per week!) and music (1x per week) which all told, took out 10 ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.
Can you believe that? TEN.
This is what makes me nervous about starting something again.
i love love love these books. I feel invested with the characters and like I learn a lot when I read them- about how to make a lasting relationship work, dealing with our differences, history, and forgiveness and acceptance.
Good luck deciding on the activities. It’s such a tough balance to address even when you’re really careful about it.
No way would I have learned anything about the Jacobite war without these books.
My dad and his brothers were all Eagles, so it was one of those things that my dad specifically made time for with my brother (Dad’s one of a very small number of surgeons in the town I grew up). It was a lot of time, but it was a really important experience for my brother- he was exposed to people outside of his friend group (which as his big sister, I was thrilled), he and Dad worked on everything from boxcars to cake contests to Philmont together, and it consistently opened the door to have conversations about what it means to have good character.
My brother absolutely fussed all the time and acted like a teenager when Dad requested he keep with Scouts in high school (trust me on this, it’s the only time Dad ever, ever asked him to keep working on something he felt marginal about). However, as he finally got moving on his Eagle project, he had started to mature, and was learning to be more independent. Via Philmont and his Eagle project, my brother matured a great deal (which is kinda huge when you’re 18). No kidding, I sobbed like a crazy person when he became an Eagle Scout, because I knew how much it meant to my brother and Dad. My brother, now that he’s in college and about to graduate, thinks it’s awesome that he earned his Eagle.
The best men I’ve known in college and beyond have been Eagle Scouts. In the early days, it’s just as much about the whole family as it is about scouting itself. It is a big time commitment early on, but worth it in the end.
I wanted to hear something like this, so thank you. My concern, and why I’m so eager to put them in scouts, is that life slips by and my husband is worried that if we don’t have something planned out and scheduled by someone else, we just won’t take the time to do something fun. It’s easy for two homebodies to stay at home, especially if one of them is traveling constantly.
You’re welcome! It really was good for my family- exactly for those reasons. It could be a really good thing for you guys too- new friends and occupied kids :)
My uncle even runs a troop for boys with special needs, and it has been huge for my aunt and uncle (both of their sons are autistic) to have so many similar families around them, and it’s helped my cousins a great deal over the years (they are 16 and 14 now).
First off, I’m so sorry the Mister didn’t get the promotion. My husband travels for work a lot too, and I completely understand how hard it gets.
I read Outlander years ago, when it first came out, and I really enjoyed it. When I read your post, I wondered whether one would have to have read all the intervening books in order to make sense of Written in my Own Heart’s Blood. Rather than asking you, I Googled it, and the author says it’s not strictly necessary, but it would be recommended. (Just thought I’d put that info out there, in case you have other readers who are wondering as well).
Regarding boy scouts: I have limited experience with it (and in Canada), but FWIW, here goes… My youngest son did one year of Beavers (not sure if this is just a Canadian thing) and then one year of Cub Scouts (last year). He really enjoyed it, because it was a fun night with his friends and he got to play dodgeball, but he didn’t earn any badges, other than the ones nearly everyone earns (fundraiser stuff, Cub Kar Rally). The reason for this is firstly, he simply wasn’t self-motivated enough to actually do the work required outside of Cubs, and secondly, a lot of the stuff requires parental involvement, and I did find it time-consuming, given I also have two other kids with activities, and a husband who travels. (Just to be clear, my son’s not the type of kid who minds having a bare sleeve while others have sleeves full of badges, but I don’t know whether something like that would bother your boys). With regards to trips, I think all troops are going to be different on this, but in our troop, parents weren’t allowed to come on the overnight camping trips. This had to do with security and vetting, I think, but it was an issue for us because my son wasn’t comfortable going on overnight trips without my husband, so he missed out on these. I’m sure this isn’t an across the board policy, but better to check beforehand and make sure, especially if you’re thinking trips would be a great way for the Mister to spend time with the boys.
Not entirely sure I should bring this up or not, but here goes (with trepidation): the elephant in the room is that the BSA has been called out in recent years as being a discriminatory organization. Your boys are being raised Catholic (I believe?) so it’s unlikely this would affect them directly (at least for the time-being), but it could affect them in the long-term, if they make friends with boys who run counter to the BSA’s stance on atheism and homosexuality. (Scouts Canada is a much more open organization, which is why we felt somewhat more ok with our son joining it). Anyway, just food for thought… Good luck with making your decision. I know it’s a difficult thing, to balance kids’ wishes with the practicalities and stress of too many activities. This fall, I’m finding myself in the bewildering new role of “hockey mom”, which is (in my mind) a horrendous something I thought I had dodged a bullet on (my older son wasn’t interested, but my youngest, after begging all last year to try it, is now – at the ripe old age of nine – starting hockey. And unfortunately he has to give up Cubs, because they conflict).
And speaking of food for thought, do you by chance remember the discussion following Eating Animals, in which you encouraged me to start a blog? Normally I don’t go for this shameless type of self-promotion (/shuffles feet, tries to ignore introvert Marian who’s intoning, “shut uuup…”/) but well … I did … The only reason I’m mentioning it is because I’ve just posted A Crap-Free Book Fair, which I thought might interest you, given that you’re the school librarian; perhaps you host book fairs as well….
I do remember recommending you start a blog! I will go check it out.
I understand the elephant in the room scenario. This will sound odd, but living in CA is a different experience. We call ourselves California Catholics. It’s very liberal here. We have same-sex spouses at our school, and at our Catholic high school, many kids are out. No one sees it as a very big deal, especially after Pope Francis’s recent comments on the issue. I’m honestly not worried about the discriminatory practices of BSA, at least not how it applies to us directly, because I’m fairly confident they are as liberal as the rest of CA is. How they are as an organization is a different matter.
So many people have recommended this series to me! I’m just started reading the Game of Thrones series though, so maybe after I get through those!
As far as boys scouts go, if your boys want to do it you should give it a go. I was a Brownie then Girl Scout and I loved it, then I grew out of it and quit. Based on my Girl Scout experience it’s a fun way to hang out with your friends and learn some new things, but I wouldn’t worry too much about Eagle Scouts at this point…they may be over it by then anyway!
I couldn’t get into Game of Thrones! I keep thinking I should give it another go.
I have no idea how I’m going to handle the scouts thing. One minute I think I’m going to do it, the other I want to crawl under the blankets and suck my thumb.
I have experience with both Girl Scouts (13 years a leader) and Cub/Boy Scouts (4 years a leader). It really comes down to the leaders. They can make or break a troop. My son was in my den and I had excellent co-leaders but I found Cub Scouts to have more rules for advancement than Girl Scouts. The boys don’t have to earn their Eagle unless they want to and they might decide they don’t like scouting.
As the rules stand now – it is easier to earn the Eagle than the Girl Scout Gold Award. Like I said – it really depends on the leaders – we didn’t really require a lot of parent participation.
This is all so new to me. I didn’t even know about Eagle Scouts until recently, and I definitely didn’t know Girl Scouts had a Gold Award. Every girl I’ve ever known has dropped out of Girl Scouts by beginning of middle school. :(
My son did three years of Cub Scouts, and we had a great time. I found it to be much more relaxed and family-oriented than Girl Scouts, which my daughter was in. Girl Scouts had so many rules about who could be at various events, whereas Cub Scouts encouraged any and all family members, siblings, etc. to come to Pack meetings, etc. And it was FUN. As others have said, I suppose it does also have to do with leadership, and we were fortunate to have great Den and Pack leaders. Don’t forget that Girl Scouts have cookies, but Boy Scouts have popcorn and mistletoe, so you will have to do some selling (at least those were the two our Pack did). Mistletoe was actually a lot of fun, from picking to packaging to selling (a lot of men would buy the mistletoe and share their own stories of being in Cub Scouts as kids). I know Eagle Scouts does require that next level of commitment, as each boy has to take on a community project (for example, one of our local boys found an unused corner of grassy space near a school and has collected donations to turn it into a tiny park). We just made the decision to leave this year because of my own work schedule change (couldn’t get my son to meetings), but frankly primarily as part of an intentional cutting back on external commitments.
See. I’m going through an intentional cutback, so I’m wondering what the heck I’m doing considering adding something after I took so much out!
I’ve not read any of these – I always thought they were fluffy. Is it the book covers? I don’t know – anyway I’m more than willing to give them a try. I will probably start at the beginning and so won’t be done when you are, but that’s OK.
I don’t think they’re fluffy. I think it’s easy to think that since they were originally categorized as romance, and the first covers were HORRIBLE romance novel things.
That’s what I’m remembering – those first covers. Alright, I’m on the bandwagon.
Read them! You won’t regret it. I read the first one at least 15 years ago and have re-read them several times. The character development is amazing. And I echo the commenter above who mentioned how much she learned about long-term relationships and love and forgiveness and communication. Although I now resent every man I date for not being an 18th century Scottish warrior, but I’m working on it :-)
OUTLANDER!!!!!!!!
The show is amazing, the premiere at Comic Con was a dream, and the books are divine! Please, do yourself a huge favor and read them.
#fangirl
Huge Outlander fan here! I finally got a chance to start WIMOHB the other night. 200 pages down…600+ to go. It’s moving fast. I’ve also loved seeing the books come to life on the show. That Sam Heughan.
I got my notification from Amazon that my book shipped!
I don’t have kids so I can’t speak from that perspective. I quit Girl Scouts after one year so I can’t speak from experience, but I can say I appreciate that my parents allowed me to try it and allowed me to leave when it wasn’t what I thought it was. I was also doing violin and piano lessons, tennis and swimming so my attentions were elsewhere and it was probably just too much.
I can speak from my experience in the public library. I have met many young men (middle school – highschoolers) who have their heads screwed on right and are heading towards greatness. We will host programs for the scouts and sometimes they will use our space for their own programs but whenever I chat with the kids and their parents they only have good things to say about their experience. Our library often partners with the Eagle Scouts for their projects and the results have been outstanding – this year we have someone working on a butterfly garden to add to Christina’s Corner – a memorial we have for Christina who perished on 9/11 in the attacks on the World Trade Center. You will do what is right for your family but if the interest is there and if there are no real obstacles, it doesn’t hurt to try!
Thanks, Rebe. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
I read several of the Outlander books a few years ago but that was before I was on Goodreads and now I can’t remember how far I got. I would like to get back into them but I don’t know where to start.
Okay, you asked, so here are my “negative” Eagle Scout stories: young man I knew, completed his Eagle Scout thing, went to culinary school, wasn’t what he thought, delivered Pepsi for a while, became a paramedic or firefighter and moved out of the area. I think he’s settled better now but he’ll never be an executive. Another young man I knew who got his Eagle Scout achievement went into the military but came home shortly after. Not sure what happened there. So, I guess, the caution is there are no guarantees in life with anything. It could be a great thing for your boys or it might not be.
I think your comment dovetails nicely with YJ’s. In the end, it might have a lot to do with the general upbringing of the kids.
The only Eagle Scout I ever knew was a very stereotypical Eagle Scout. He grew up. Got married. Did well for himself career/financially. Is very involved in his church. He’s like the poster child for the guy mothers everywhere are hoping their daughters will marry.
With Outlander: I read the first four. After that, I stopped. I always loved the beginnings. The endings were cliff hangers enough that I’d start reading the next one as soon as I could get to the library. The fifth one had a waiting list and that was enough pause to remember how much I thought the middle of each book JUST. DRAGGED. With so many other books I wanted to read in this lifetime (more than I’m sure to get to), I just never started reading them again.
I did want to watch the show – but we’ve been cable free for over a year now and I can’t see getting it for this and Game of Thrones. Interested to read your report and everyone’s comments at the end of the month. Maybe I’ll pick them back up again?
Your description of the Eagle Scout made me laugh. Just watch, behind closed doors he’s into kinky stuff and runs a dogfight ring. ;)
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear that the Mister missed the promotion. My sons’ dad commuted four days a week when they were your boys’ age and it was tough. How did the pipes know to freeze, the tire to go flat (in the snow), the toilet to back up when he was out of town??? Just saying. You’re already there and I’m sure are factoring those mishaps in. My heart and prayers are with you.
I also wanted to chime in on the Diana Gabaldon books. I not only love her books but my son was also the events’ coordinator for a mystery bookstore in Scottsdale. He had extensive contact with Diana and, as well as being an amazing author, she is an unfailingly gracious, genuinely nice person. To me, it’s a very feel-good thing to know that someone who is so successful and gives so much joy is also just plain nice.
As to people wondering whether these books are fluffy, I think a little biographical info from her website might be of interest: ‘Dr. Gabaldon holds three degrees in science: Zoology, Marine Biology, and a Ph.D. in Quantitative Behavioral Ecology’. She was a professor at ASU for over twelve years and a lot of other smart stuff that I don’t even understand. I’m very jealous of everyone who gets to look forward to reading her books for the first time. (Sorry for the fan girl rant but I loved the books plus she’s an astounding person.)
Thanks, Didi. Sounds like you had the same schedule I have now. It’s tough. Some days I think it’s easy, and other days I feel overwhelmed.
I think it’s probably a correlation type thing–the type of family/parents that would think about getting their kids involved in scouts are more likely to provide the other environmental factors that would develop thoughtful mature men, and not that the scouts played a critical factor…
Haven’t read any if the series but for a variety of reasons, I think I’m going to start:)
As for scouts it is a significant commitment at the Cub Scout level (through 5th grade). However at the Boy Scout level it is very scout driven. My oldest is in his 3rd year of Boy Scouts. He adores everything about it. The leadership skills and mentoring he has both received and provided has been invaluable. He’s had incredible experiences, national jamborree and learned lessons, how to deal with a health dept quarantine due to troop illness at jamboree:). All that said, I also have a 5th grader who is a homebody and adores all things baseball. He’s on two teams, and is in the fence about Boy Scouts next spring. Scouting is an incredible organization but it simply isn’t for everyone.
Jules, I have two sons and they were both Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, and one became an Eagle Scout. (The other made it to Life Scout, just short of Eagle). For us and our boys, Scouting was a great experience. We formed lasting friendships with parents and the boys had wonderful experiences. That said, I believe all that happened because the dads in our troop (Boy Scouts) were heavily invested time wise. That probably sounds sexist … but for us, Scouting was truly a guy thing. (Except for Mother’s Day when the Troop went all out to honor moms with a pancake breakfast!) The boys went on a pot full of campouts and did high adventure trips. I would urge you to find a Pack (Cub Scouts) and later Troop (Boy Scouts) that is active and vital … not one on life support. It will make all the difference in your experience.
It is a large investment of time and money but there are great skills to be learned through Merit Badge work – things boys might not otherwise be exposed to and things they might discover they really love. Also, as has been stated by others, it is a great place for boys to be trained in leadership. Good luck with your decision. I applaud your taking the time to really think it through. For us, it was a lot of effort but it was one of the wisest decisions our family made.
My husband is an Eagle Scout. He was a marginal student in High school, but completing his Eagle Scout was VERY important to him. Out of the 3 boys in his family, he’s the only one who did so. It did give him an automatic boost in rank when he joined the military & it was also mentioned positively in many of the interviews he has had for work & advanced education.
Sorry the about the Mister’s work. All will be well.
I think it is great that you want to participate in activities as a family. Are there things through your church your could do?
My uncle travels frequently and when his kids were younger , I think it bothered him that he couldn’t be involve din their activities. He did volunteer to help out with one of the teams my cousin was on–he spoke to the coaches & had a “help out when you can” arrangement which worked for them, since he couldn’t commit to being a coach or assistant coach.
When I was in HS, it was sort of a running joke that being an Eagle Scout was just a good cover. I knew a few that used the time they were supposedly helped other Scouts with their Eagle project as an excuse to get out of the house & break rules. I grew up around a lot of slackers though, so I don’t think this is the norm. Where I live now, there are a couple of park areas that were clear out/improved as part of an Eagle Scout project, and it is pretty cool to see the signs with the name of the Scout who worked on it.
My husband was in Scouts, until it wasn’t cool anymore. He has fond memories of it. And he’s is really good at tying knots! :)
My father-in-law was less than fond of the camping trips. He did at times participate in the activities & then stay at a local motel. (He refuses to sleep outside voluntarily after being in the Army.)
Questions I would have: Are the boys going to be in the same pack or does their age difference matter? ( In Girls Scouts it would matter at certain grade splits).
A friend of mine does a lot of father-son Boy Scout events with his son & step-son. Is that going to be an issue if your husband is away? Do they take stands -ins? ( mom, uncle, etc.) I think these are more for overnight trips that are on weekends.
I was also going to as about how many events were mandatory, but someone above answered that.
Can you speak to parents in the pack & ask how they find it?
I was a Girl Scout & probably should have stayed with it longer. I stopped in 7th grade because it wasn’t cool & I already stuck with taking non-cool ballet lessons. I did end up doing a lot of similar community service type things through my HS clubs. However, when I went to the house of the founder of the Girl Scouts, the tour guide asked if I was had been a Scout & if I had stayed with it & the looks she gave me when I said no made me feel like I let my Grandma down.
As for the book, I haven’t read the series, so I don’t want to start out of order & can’t read the whole series in 2 months & keep my job!
Cub Scouts (through 5th grade) is a very parent-centric organization. Depending on the pack and the strength of its leaders, you might be very involved or you might not have to be. Bear in mind that cub scout leaders are parents of the kids and is completely voluntary, AND with cub scouts only being for 1-5 grades, there is a lot of turnover, so leadership can be a bit shaky. (I’d say ask me how I know, but I volunteered to be committee chair so my pack wouldn’t fall apart. SOMEONE has to do it.) The short timeframe (5 years total) means that you’re looking at losing a couple of leaders each year, so parental involvement is necessary simply for that reason (and suckering new ones in, cough, cough). Main point is if you’re looking for a pack, you might visit a few before committing to one to see which ones are the best run. Don’t forget to ask how long the leaders will be around!
A lot of people have talked about the parental involvement with achievements, and the family-centric activities that also have to be completed. These are things like meal planning, checking your home for safety issues and determining fire escapes, and attending events as a family. It’s all stuff that people, honestly, SHOULD be teaching their children anyway, so I like it in that it gives me a good “excuse” to talk about fire safety with my children (for example).
My sons are in 3rd grade, so are Bears. http://pack155.com/resources/Handbook-3Bear.pdf is an online version of the handbook they’re using this year. You can take a look at it to get an idea of what your sons would be doing.
I’m sorry to hear about the promotion fall-through. Those are hard to come to terms with, but I believe that sometimes it’s because something better is around the bend. I know it’s hard being without your parenting partner…my husband is military and can be gone for a very long time pretty frequently., so I feel you.
Both of my boys are in Cub Scouts. My eldest is a Webelo II (he goes to Boy Scouts next year) and my youngest is a Bear (3rd grade/almost 9 years old) and they love it. We happen to be the only athiests in the pack and we live in a religious state (Texas) and in a religious military community, so I was *very* skeptical of how we would be recieved (religion plays a significant role in Scouting, so I chose to be upfront and talk with the Cubmaster right away). After some initial worry (I guess that ‘s the right word), we’re a welcome addition. It is a time committment, but once you get to know the parents our pack has no problem with parents going to run errands while another parent keeps an eye on them.
Also, don’t feel like you have to do EVERYTHING on the calendar. Once they hit Webelo, they ‘ll start going on camping trips without parents and it’s been amazing to see my very shy and standoffish boy become more self-reliant and independent.
Visit a few packs to find the right fit, volunteer as time allows, and Scouting will be as beneficial to you as it will be to your boys. :0)
I picked up the first Outlander book probably a decade ago thanks to a suggestion from a book thread on my MINI Cooper forum and still haven’t read it. I think I tried at one point, but couldn’t get into it. If you read and love them, I’ll give it another go.
My dad traveled and my mom worked full time when we were kids, so we didn’t get to do scouts, sports, etc. I know your time is super limited at the moment, but the boys will absolutely remember how engaged you were in their childhood. My parents are awesome in other ways, but they just didn’t do activities. That’s not to sound like a guilt trip and that you HAVE to do it, just saying that the boys will appreciate it in their later years.
Hey Jules!
Just have to chime in…this post is cracking me up because:
1. I tried reading the Outlander Series to be a nice daughter in law. I am convinced that I am the only one in the world who cannot stand it.
2. We love, love, love scouts! With all the comments…I bet you are inundated with feedback, so I will not add to it. But don’t be afraid to give it a try, epsicially since the boys are so interested.
I will end with this link…I think you will enjoy it:
http://www.mikeroweworks.com/2009/03/mike-offers-a-potential-eagle-scout-his-eagle-perspective/
omg yes. I adore the Outlander series. Diana Gabaldon is so amazing too, I’m so happy for her success and can’t wait for the next one�also, I adore the show too.
My husband and his brother were both in Boy Scouts and earned their Eagle. I asked them if it was worth it after reading your post, and they both said it was. My MIL still volunteers with Scouts. Their only complaint was about their den leader being a strict rule follower and he had his “favorites” which made a lot of activities not as fun. They are both successful career-wise and have had no meth-related problems so far ;)
About Boy Scouts, I am useless. But I did want to say, glad life has brightened. It’s a lot, being the mom, and sometimes we all fray.
Oh Outlander! I LOVE the books and am happily pleased with the TV series as well! They will never be able to capture the Jamie and Claire that live in my mind… but I do enjoy the show a great deal!
I’ve read the first two & unfortunately – don’t get the starz channel…so I’m missing out!
As for scouts, it’s A LOT of parent involvement & with your Mr traveling, it’ll be you at those weekly meetings.