How’s this for a small world: my husband’s friend from two jobs ago had Sharon M. Draper as his high school English teacher. I know this because he and I are friends on Instagram and he commented on a picture I posted of me reading the book. They are friends on Facebook! He said Sharon Draper is amazing both as a person and as a teacher. I believe it.
Oh, this book. I’m definitely buying a copy for the library.
There isn’t much I can say following that video by Sharon Draper, but I’ll try.
As I already mentioned, I picked this book because it was recommended to me by a then-4th grader. She loved it and called it her favorite book. She also said she cried and cried reading it! Can you blame her? Even I, stiff-upper-lipper that I am, felt emotional at times when Melody’s mother battled the ignorant doctor or when teachers didn’t give Melody the credit she deserved.
I also felt like I was suffocating reading about Melody’s life through her eyes. To be so intelligent, so aware, and to not be able to move or speak or control your body? I kept imagining myself in that position and I could barely keep in check the feeling of frustration and panic coming over me.
Now, the big question. Did I like it more than Wonder, another great, great book everyone should read? No, though I did like parts of it better. Both are great books about an invisible kid who just wants to be seen. That’s the thing about August and Melody. Their medical conditions make them painfully visible to the world, and yet it’s those same conditions make them fade into the background. Few people want to deal with the obstacles they face, like a missing wheelchair ramp at a restaurant. As I read the book I wondered if I was one of those people who ignored or discredited. I’ll bet you I was.
I liked the ending for Out of My Mind better than I did for Wonder. I felt that Wonder had an After School Special ending, whereas Out of My Mind was more realistic. I’m having a really tough time writing this post without spoilers! Ack! We’ll talk more in the comments–remember, the comments are a spoiler zone. Don’t read if you don’t want to know!
I’m intrigued. I read Wonder. I’m adding Out of My Mind to my list.
That’s great to hear! I think you’ll like it.
This sounds like my kind of book! I care for people with Developmental Disabilities as well as elderly. I am very attached to one who also cannot walk or speak and is very crippled up with CP. I know he can understand me and is smart. Over the past couple years i’ve been working with him to say “I love you” and he actually does make the sounds of the phrase and gets himself so worked up and excited I have to calm him down! I just keep saying “yep I hear you , I understand you, I know what you are saying to me” and he smiles his big ol smile. Makes me well up just thinking about it, him and others being trapped like this. He is 33 but I call him my boy, he brings such joy to my life, I’d bring him home if my house would work for him! I can’t wait to read this book.
You’re so wonderful, Nita. <3
There's a scene in the book where Melody gets excited because someone "heard" her and she does the same thing.
I hadn’t heard of this one. Have you read Counting by 7s? It was one of my favorite books last year.
That’s on my list, too. I’m trying to build a “different but the same” section in the library. Wonder, Out of My Mind, Counting by 7s, etc. Any other books you can recommend?
There were many things I appreciated about this book. I may read it again because honestly there were times I almost couldn’t breathe knowing something horrible was going to happen. (Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn’t.) Partial spoiler: the incident with the car and the little sister almost did me in until I got all the way through it. I’m still unsure how I feel about that and some of the other more dramatic episodes such as the plane trip. Sometimes those felt like overkill. I was more deeply touched by what would be everyday incidents and not even notable for us but which were big deals to Melody. Haven’t read Wonder yet but it’s on my list as we knew a child with that same condition.
I was so short of breath during that whole scene. I wanted to get it over with, especially since I have a friend who suffered a similar experience–but without a happy ending. :( (Her friend’s husband backed up into the garage, not knowing his daughter was there. Horrible.)
I feel the same about the dramatic events. What’s the saying about dying by paper cut? The everyday injustices were almost worse in my mind.
I loved this book. When I was in high school I worked part time in a doctor’s office. The assistant office manager’s brother in law had a very similar story but this was in the late 80’s/early 90’s. When his family got him a computer in his late 20’s they were floored at his intelligence and opinions. He even made them take him to get his ear pierced. :) I loved that the author didn’t want people feeling sorry for Melody and honestly, I can’t say that I did. I felt a whole slew of other emotions while reading her perspective – fear, anger, frustration, disappointment, but not pity. I thought that was a great accomplishment given her situation. I wish we all had a Ms. V in our lives.
Good point. I didn’t feel pity, but wow was I angry and frustrated on her behalf. That whole quiz restaurant/quiz incident had me in a rage.
What I liked:
I really liked the book overall. I felt like it portrayed a mostly accurate representation of a kid with those limitations. I felt like the integration program was similar to what I have witnessed in my limited exposure to such programs in public schools (I used to perform as a Kids On The Block puppeteer in schools and I worked at United Cerebral Palsy). I thought the communication board (the original one) was VERY accurate. I have known quite a few kids (8 and younger) who used these. I felt like the thoughts she was having were plausible thoughts for a 5th grader. She wasn’t too grown up, she wasn’t too childish. She was selfish, judgemental, and dorky. She was also self-conscious and wanted to fit in. So yeah, she was a 5th grader.
I was happy with her. I was angry with her, I was disappointed with her, and I was heartsick with her.
The airport event … oh, how I cried. I cried with the mom, I cried with Melody, I cried with Ms V. I was staying up late to read on at that point, hoping the teacher and students would explain themselves with something that truly excused their behavior. I was let down. They explained themselves, and did so honestly, and that honesty hurt so much. Like the I-just-got-punched-in-the-chest-and-I’m-having-difficulty-swallowing kind of hurt. I didn’t want that to be true. That’s too real. And that’s what made this book great.
I loved her neighbor, Ms. V! She was the best of teachers for Melody; she gave no pity, didn’t allow self-pity, and did not accept limitation – yet they still had fun.
I’ve read several reviews that were upset with the representation of how uncaring the teachers were toward Melody getting bullied in class, or even getting bullied (in a sense) by her own teachers. Having been a kid who was taunted in school, I felt the representation of how teachers “dealt” with bullying was spot-on. I never had a single teacher go beyond a simple scowl except to separate the conflict to opposite ends of the room. Maybe things have changed over the 20 years since I’ve been in grade school but I doubt it. Children’s tauntings are a difficult line to navigate for most adults. Do we indicate subtly that their actions are not good and let them sort it out themselves? Do we single them out and punish them? Do we take the time to educate the group as a whole to explain why those words or actions are not desirable? What if we don’t know how to act either? It’s tough. I get it. I never held it against my teachers for not standing up for me because I didn’t know how to stand up for me either.
What I didn’t like:
The lingo. Oh, for the ever-loving-90’s, the LINGO! “the bomb”, “that’s what’s up!” Do 5th graders talk like this? My niece and nephew don’t. *sigh*
I felt the portrayal of her interaction with the computerized communication board was very unrealistic. It’s not likely at all that she would be able to converse with her peers with a normal conversation flow – as was implied in the story. Communication with someone using a computer to speak – even with pre-programmed phrases – is slow and requires a lot of patience and there are long periods of silence.
I felt the part with Penny at the end was tacked on to help the character move on from one sad event (the airport) by giving her a real tragedy that puts things into perspective. I didn’t like it. It *felt* tacked on and forced.
It was mentioned several times that she had the alphabet on her board – both the original one and the computerized one. Then – quite often – she would get frustrated and go spiralling into a fit when she couldn’t convey the word she wanted because it wasn’t accessible on her board (more often with the original one). Why couldn’t she spell it? Maybe the “alphabet” referred instead to a image of “ABC”? That’s ultimately what I decided to believe since the alternative just frustrated me. I have seen before – with the non-computerized communication boards – where there’s an image of “ABC”. When that’s indicated, an alphabet chart comes out for the kid to spell what they are wanting to spell. Again, this whole aspect of her frustration toward communication was just “off” for me. Frustration at how long it takes? Yes. Frustration at the lack of other people’s patience while she spells things out? Yes. Frustration because she couldn’t convey what she wanted? No. Then again, maybe that’s the 5th grader impatience kicking in there. “I don’t have a shortcut and I want it now and I can’t tell you NOW” kind of attitude. Maybe?
I think your review was spot on. I agree with everything you said. The lingo…oof. That’s why they say never to use current slang in a book because even a year later it will sound dated. The book was published in 2012, though, so I’m not sure what was up with that. To be fair, they never discuss the year in the book…but still. The slang was distracting.
Excellent observation about the Penny event!!!
I’m going to go with the 5th grade impatience in regards to her frustration with language. Maybe she only had one set of alphabet letters? But still, I’m not sure…it takes as long to type, if not longer. Maybe?
We are only halfway through because I’m reading it aloud with my daughter (8yrs old- going into 4th) and we’re taking our time. ( *Part of that is because my daughter is a socialite and has had numerous sleepover/birthday parties during the month and hasn’t been home for us to continue our reading. I’m taking the book on vacation with us next week in hopes of finishing.)
So far, I can already feel my frustration growing. That doctor! That second grade teacher! URGH! I love Melody’s mom and I keep thinking ‘would I be so tireless?’ to constantly have to stand up for my child (I like to think so!!) when exhausted? I love the neighbor that knows Melody can do more & understand more & lets her TRY.
My daughter said to me at a chapter break, ‘Mom, what must it be like to live without voice & movement?’ and we’ve been talking about what it would be like to not be able to communicate easily or at all. It’s been a great jumping off point for conversations and opening our minds to the things we haven’t had to think about in our daily lives.
Loving this book and so happy you made the recommendation & pick for book club! I read Wonder and loved it, too. The ending was ‘after school special’, but that was OK with me because I knew that it was aimed at kids and not adults.
YES. Would I be so tireless? Or, maybe it becomes your normal? I don’t know. All I know is that I rejoiced when Mikey and Nico started taking their own showers. And yet, here is Melody’s mom having to do everything for Melody. It put the role of the caretaker in perspective for me. What a strong marriage Melody’s parents had, too. You know that has to be a strain.
I find so often, now that I’m a parent, I start getting emotional about the parent’s role in any story (movie/book/TV). I find it harder and harder to identify from the child role. Like you, I’ve been so relieved that my kid takes care of her own hygiene, gets herself ready for the day and even is helping with dinners and other household chores (on top of her personal chore list) lately. Thinking about my child NEVER progressing and having that break as a parent? Thinking about NEVER getting to have the kinds of conversations that I’m having with my child reading this very book? Heartbreaking. Exhausting. Frustrating.
I’m looking forward to finishing this book. I’m sure I’m going to have strong feelings about it and I’m OK with that. A great book always does that, doesn’t it?
Shaina’s post pretty much summed up my most of my thoughts on the book. I loved the story, there were a few technical issues that as, an adult, bothered me. I don’t think the portrayal of teachers was awful–some were better than other–I am pretty sure that is the case in most schools.
In addition to the things already posted ( especially the lingo!), it bothered me that Melody was the one to figure the option of using a computer to communicate. This is a recent book set in current times, so I thought it was strange that her parents weren’t aware of that possibility. I was also surprised that they didn’t try harder for her after the initial doctor visit. All of her progress seem to come from outsiders–Mrs. V, the better teachers, Beth the tutor, etc.
I do think this would be great for kids.
Yes on the Medi-Talker! If that were my child, brilliant or not, I would think I’d leave no rock uncovered trying to find something–anything!–to make her life even the tiniest bit easier. But then, maybe that’s my personality? I’ve never been in this situation so I can’t say for sure…only that I’m pretty darn sure I would.
Agreed! I had to look at the publishing date of this book because anything modern and I start thinking about all the things available!
I was confused by the MediTalk issue too. Frankly there are lot of people using ipads for communication these days (and even back in 2012 they were), so I was confused as to why that wasn’t an option. I kept wondering if the book was supposed to be set 10 years ago? I have a disabled child and see all the options that are available for communication whenever we are at therapy, so it is strange to me that this child didn’t get much therapy or many options offered to her.
I agree that the lingo used throughout the story was very dated and distracting. At first I did not realize that this book was written for a younger audience, and at times I found myself wishing for some big dramatic moment to deliver me from the tween angst that was such a huge part of the story. Although it was heartbreaking, I appreciated that the author did not explain away what happened with the airport as all sunshine and rainbows. Life just isn’t always that way. I thought the Penny accident at the end was a great way to remind us that although Melody was a intelligent person who overcame the stereotypes associated with her disability, she is still limited and that is very frustrating. I was so frustrated for her when she could do nothing to warn her mom and even her mom who probably knows her better than anyone was not able to interpret her “language.” My 10 year old daughter is reading this book right now. I look forward to our discussion when she is finished!
I am going to forward this conversation to a friend of mine whose daughter is similar to Melody, who read the book, and agreed with much of the representation as being spot on (teachers, other kids, etc.). She is now in 8th grade, like my daughter, but I think they were headed into 5th grade when they read it. I don’t know if she will want to weigh in on the conversation or not, but I know that she left a great review about the book on Amazon.
And how cool that you have a connection to the author!
OK, I’m the friend Michellejeanne mentioned…my daughter, who has severe CP much like Melody (but not her perfect memory), and I read this together about 2 1/2 years ago and she loved it. In fact, it inspired me to do the pushing I had to do to get her a communication device too. The rise of the iPad as a comparatively inexpensive communication device has really just been in the last couple of years, and I think it’s been less than a year since it became possible to use switches with them. We have a Dynavox because using switches with an iPad wasn’t a choice two years ago. And I had to bird-dog down a lot of information myself, because her therapists at school didn’t know much and wouldn’t have recommended it anyway because she wasn’t using her switches to set off the same old tired cause-and-effect programs they’d been using for eight years or show her knowledge of shapes (shapes have been for my daughter like the alphabet was to Melody). I had to find a therapist who was willing to write the report the insurance company required, and the orchestration with the different vendors and manufacturers took months. It *may* now be true that they take one look at a physically-disabled kid and hand ’em an appropriately-outfitted iPad (although I kinda sorta doubt it), but they sure weren’t doing it two years ago. I’d say as a special-needs parent I can see at least three reasons kids don’t get the equipment they need: 1) Parents aren’t well-informed – there’s no information central and therapists are not always knowledgeable either, especially if your kid is more severe than most on their caseload; 2 ) the effort to get equipment can be over and above what parents can manage on top of the day-to-day and emergency stuff; 3) money. Anyway, my daughter really thoroughly identified with Melody (although I have to agree with other folks here that the language made us cringe) and strongly recommends the book. BTW…in case anyone is wondering if the Dynavox has been life-changing…well, it’s a work in progress. She really needs to be able to control two switches and so far she’s only been able to master one. We are trying a new type of therapy this summer, though, and are hopeful that it will help with her ability to access that second switch.
Oh, I realized I didn’t say how I have a clue what my daughter thinks! She answers questions with eye gaze (but we can’t use an eye gaze-controlled computer because she has nystagmus and strabismus and while I can discount the eye wavers, the computer can’t).
Thank you so much for chiming in with much needed insight, perspective and information. So often so many things, large & small, come down to time & money and never enough of either. I will think some good thoughts for your daughter to get the second switch down!