Dammit, Yunior.
This Is How You Lose Her was no The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, but not much can beat that book for me. It’s not often I come across a book that so perfectly captures the Hispanic immigrant culture, and Junot Diaz nailed it with that one. That said, I still love Junot Diaz and this collection of short stories once again shows his incredible talent as a writer. Writing like this makes me want to stick to scribbling grocery lists for the rest of my life.
The are two problems people have with Junot Diaz. One, his writing is raw, often vulgar, and his main character, Yunior, is a louse. Kind of? When I read reviews like that, I wonder if people have read Drown or The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao, because if they have, I don’t know how they can’t have at least a little empathy, or if not empathy, understanding for Yunior’s incorrigible promiscuity. It doesn’t excuse his behavior, but it does explain his behavior. Not everyone with his history reacts as he did, but it’s not unheard of and if what I have read is true, Yunior is Diaz’s alter ego. Yunior’s reactions are Diaz’s reactions, and I’ve read he is still not over the girl who dumped him. That kind of breaks my heart.
If you want to know what I’m talking about and don’t mind blinding neon sign spoilers, read this LARB interview. This is another great review of the book, and it mentions my complaint with the collection–the anticlimactic ending–but we can talk about that in the comments.
The second problem people have with Junot Diaz is his unapologetic use of Spanish and Spanglish in his writing without translating it for the reader. One person gave him one star for this, saying it was alienating and that she couldn’t enjoy the book because she was not familiar with Hispanic culture and that perhaps you had to be from the United States (where people are more familiar with those people and that culture) to appreciate the book.
Funny, I’m 0% Russian, know exactly 0 Russians, and have never, not once, stepped foot in a Russian restaurant, let alone visited a Russian community, Russia, or a country familiar with “those people,” and yet I managed to get through Anna Karenina. I’m sure I missed several nuances, but that’s why they invented the internet. Well, for those people references and for cat videos. Was it easy for me? No, but I didn’t think Leo Tolstoy was out to get me, either. I tend to agree with Junot Diaz on this one, although I he could have been more diplomatic.
Still, it’s true there are one liners or phrases that one may not get immediately. I was shocked when someone told me Anna Karenina was supposed to be funny in parts. My response: where?!
For example, page 100, when Yunior’s brother Rafa was sick with cancer and their mother was worried sick.
Her eyes were shining behind her black Madres de Plaza de Mayo glasses.
Unless you are up to date on your Argentine history, you might not know that is a reference to the Dirty War, a period from 1976 to 1983 where people who spoke against the dictatorial government disappeared. They are/were the desaparecidos (the disappeared/those who have disappeared). You spoke against the government and you disappeared in the middle of the night, in the middle of the day at lunch, on your way home from work, etc. Between 10,000-20,000 people are still unaccounted for to this day, and 3 of the 14 founding madres have also “disappeared.” The madres wore white head scarves over their heads to symbolize the baby blankets of their children. The met every Thursday in the Plaza de Mayo and marched for the desaparecidos. Their last annual march was in 2006 because the current government is not related to the atrocities committed during the Dirty War.
The mothers became a symbol of the quiet strength of motherhood. There is actually an interesting discussion to be had on how the group put a different face on 1970s feminism by claiming their strength came from clinging to the traditional role of woman as mother, but that’s a topic for another day. What’s important to take away here is that by saying Mami’s eyes shined behind her Plaza de Mayo glasses, Yunior acknowledged his mother’s pain, her strength, and her refusal to give up while accepting the inevitability of a tragic ending. Well. At least that’s what I think is going on. Just my luck she’s really wearing glasses by a brand called Plaza de Mayo.
Sorry about that crazy tangent. You crack open the door to Argentine history and I kick it wide open, tear down the walls, and add a new room! Sheesh!
I’ll just stop here while I still have readers….
hi Jules! Well, i was shocked to see that Madres photo… so I read the entire post (book post are not my favourites, maybe because since becoming a mom i coudnt read anything much longer than a blog post…snif).
I may be your only argentine reader! but it actually made me very happy how much you know about our history and wanted to thak you for this crazy tangent, as you call it. nice! =)
Thanks, Ines. Nice to hear I have a reader in my country of birth! :)
I wanted to thank you for the ‘crazy tangent’, too! I had no idea and just goes to show how reading something can really open doors to the world!
Hey! You didnt mention this was your country of birth, or did you?
I really enjoy your blog =)
Years ago, probably. I don’t mention it often, though. I guess it doesn’t come up! :)
Thanks for appreciating my tangent, Phaedra. :)
Thank you so much for choosing this book–and recommending Oscar Wao first. At the moment, I don’t have much coherent commentary to give, except to say that those problems people have with Junot Diaz? Those are the things that MAKE these books. They are so rich with layers of meaning, with complexity, with allusions to literature and history and culture that open up all sorts of windows to the characters. Did I get every reference? Assuredly not, though I am lucky that my Ecuadorean Spanish got me through the language barrier, and I have read my share of Tolkien. :) Writing like this inspires me to stop with the grocery list already and get some of the voices in my head down on the page (even if only a line here or there). I might have to buy these books so I can reread them repeatedly–though I did really enjoy my library’s large print edition!
That is SO nice to hear. I normally try to pick books that will be fairly well accepted across the board, but I was being pretty selfish with this one. I thought most people wouldn’t like him or would be offended or would be find him just okay. I have found other authors from other cultures outside my own–of course they now escape my mind–who have had the same profound effect on me so I know you don’t have to be Hispanic to like Diaz.
That said, some people just don’t like Diaz. His writing isn’t for everyone. You can’t argue with that!!
I have not read any Tolkien, so any and all science fiction references of his (and there are many I hear) always fly right over my head. He’s a big science fiction nerd in real life. That part of Oscar was pure him. Can you imagine growing up where he did being how he is? I guess we don’t have to. He’s written about it through his characters in three books now.
They are reread books for me. I learn from writers like Diaz. Also, did you know 1 short story takes him 3-4 years to write? I think Oscar Wao took him 10 years. He’s a perfectionist, a slow writer, and insecure. I’m sure that doesn’t come as a shock.
I haven’t read any of Junot Diaz’s other works and I’m not of Hispanic descent, but I really enjoyed this book. It was a quick read and the episodic structure made it easy to dip in and out of in the midst of my very hectic life.
Yunior was a total horn dog, but I liked him anyway. He doesn’t set out to hurt people, he just can’t get it together. He’s a horrible guy with a big heart — he really is genuinely in love with all of these women he’s involved with. I didn’t have any trouble empathizing with him. I would never want to date him, obviously, but I didn’t want to stab him. And besides, I enjoy a novel that is a little more outside of my own experience.
I think that the humor (especially early in the book) helped me connect to him. In that first story, he was like a less annoying, Latin American Holden Caulfield.
The Spanish/Spanglish didn’t bother me. Context clues, anyone? My reading experience may not have been as layered as yours, but I still enjoyed it and didn’t have any trouble keeping up. If anything had really nagged at me, I could have Googled it or called my friend with the degree in Spanish. Based on this, I would read more Junot Diaz.
*SPOILER* I was really sad when the baby turned out not to be his. That was rough.
That just broke my heart. That whole story was weird. She kicked him out of his own bed/didn’t speak to him for 7 months and he let her? Guilt over the woman he lost, I suppose.
I guess so. It was so wrong, but I totally agreed with him when he was like, “What woman comes all the way to Harvard to get knocked up?”
The story about the laundry lady was my favorite. She was a fabulous character. And for being in the middle of a book with so much “male-ness,” I thought he did really well with a female voice.
That is what I love about Yunior/Diaz. He says what we are ashamed to be thinking. Because, honestly, isn’t that what you would secretly think?
Also, compare her with the celibate girlfriend, Paloma, in Miss Lora. (I wonder if her name Paloma, which means dove, was a nod to her forced purity.) She did/didn’t do everything in her power to not get pregnant.
uh, YES! That IS what we would be thinking secretly! I laughed outloud at that line!
I haven’t read this yet as I am working my way through The Brief Wondrous Life first. I am really struggling with it – not because of the language or vulgarity, and I don’t mind louses. (Lice?) For some reason I’m having trouble really getting into a rhythm with the book – partly because of those $#*& footnotes, partly because of the Spanish (most of which I understand or can figure out, but occasionally I stop to translate) – but not sure what the real problem is. Determined to finish and then read the short stories, but I’ve taken a detour into The Map of Time (600 pages) so it could be a while.
P.S. I love knowing that about Argentine history.
I am 100% in Susan’s boat. Still pushing my way through The Brief Wondrous Life and having issues with the flow. YES on the footnotes! Sometimes it helps clarify the context and sometimes it’s like I just read an extra 30 minutes for no reason. Most of the Spanish I understand but I’ve just been winging it on the slang words based on context clues. Sometimes I just shrug and move forward. I’m not an immigrant, nor hispanic, so I’m already not reading something I can relate to – but I enjoy it none-the-less. I just don’t enjoy it so much that I want to pick it up first chance I get.
I just renewed both books this morning so I have another month :-)
I’m sorry, girls. I can totally see your position! I know he is not for everyone. He is definitely one of those polarizing authors. Thank you for trusting in me and giving him a shot. :)
So, I just wanted to update to say that I just finished This Is How You Lose Her. This book was a much easier read than Oscar Wao, but I still struggled through some of it. I got confused with the time hops. Or I’m guessing they were time hops. It was supposed to be stories of his life and the various women in it – right? Anyway, at the end I was like, “Damn.” I mean, this guy cheated A LOT and with the exception of the lawyer that got burned 50 TIMES before she found out, he always got caught. I mean, who the hell keeps a record of their trysts laying about like that? It’s like he Wanted to get caught just to see how much he could get away with. I felt for him though. I could see (or wanted to see and so I did) a distinct difference in how he spoke of the “others” and how he spoke of the loves. There is no question that he truly loved those girls – especially the lawyer. And I’m wondering if maybe the reason the lawyer was so hard to get over was because she didn’t let him get away with the reconciliation bullshit. Not even once.
My second thought (after “Damn.”) was, “And I thought 5 was bad…” (and that’s one person cheated on me with 5 – at least that I knew of – not that I cheated 5 times, lol)
For what it’s worth, This Is How You Lose Her has far fewer footnotes (if any?) and is light on the sci fi/fantasy references. Overall, I found it a much quicker read, and the short story structure has those nice built-in pauses so you can digest. :)
Zero footnotes. :)
Already liking that thought! My mother was an editor for 30 years and she used to say if it’s more than a few sentences, put it in the main text if it’s that important. If not, probably doesn’t need to be in at all. At least they’re not at the back!
I enjoyed this book. It was sad and beautiful. I did not read The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, so Yunior was new to me. I am not hispanic and my Spanish language skills are lacking (and how sad is that considering I did take Spanish for 6.5yrs??! I’ve somehow lost most of it by lack of regular use-sigh), but the context helped with a lot of it. Did I miss nuances? I have no doubt. I reminded myself that reading anything that is not from the current time and place that I live in means I’ve missed nuances & references to politics, in-jokes etc and I don’t get too worked up about it. (Yes! that IS what the internet for!!)
Thank you Jules for the references above! Loved getting that information and it really rounded out some questions that I hadn’t taken time to look up. I should’ve made notes because I had to turn the book back in & just finished it under the wire.
The writing was so well done that I liked Yunior in spite of himself. I wanted to kick him for making the same mistake over and over , to his own ultimate downfall in love, but all the stories together really did paint the picture of what it was like to be an immigrant and the path to his cheating ways was laid out early on. The machismo of his culture/neighborhood and the examples of his father and brother and the women that were still putting up with them? Yeah. I wanted to scream at them all, but the beauty of it is that Diaz wrote it so well that I CARED enough to want to scream at them all! I felt like Yunior wanted to be a better man, he just didn’t know how. How could he? He was surrounded by much of the same everywhere he went. Even later when he is a professor, his friend that’s married with a baby finds a way to be a cheater cheater.
On a personal note, the very first story, Magda, rang very true to me about the end of a relationship that has endured extensive cheating. I know she comes across like a complete bitch from Yunior’s perspective, having him spend time and money taking her to the fancy resorts that he has no care for, but I felt like those were the very last death throws of the relationship when you really know this person isn’t going to change, nothing’s ever going to change and it sucks the very life out of you, both of you, for a while and you’re just going through the motions before making the final decision.
For me, the other compelling storylines were the story of his family life and Rafa’s cancer. It’s woven throughout the stories, but I’m not sure I’ve ever read a story about a family that is dealing with terminal cancer that was handled this way. It really rang true with me that these characters would handle it just this way, why would they change who they are at their core? Their search for immediate gratification with sexual conquests & bad choices all around seemed like exactly what would happen while trying to block out the thoughts of death & loss ahead.
Thank you for the pick because I’m quite sure I would’ve never chosen this on my own!
I didn’t think Magda came off as a bitch. I’ve never been in a relationship quite that bad, but I still felt for her. That was one of the things I loved about the book. Almost all of his characters (not just Yunior) make terrible decisions, but you care about them anyway.
I didn’t think so either, but then I could see how a man might see her- ‘using him’ . I felt for her. I felt for him. I even felt for his awful brother! Than man- ugh! But still…
I forgot to mention that the story when he takes in the ex who’s pregnant, was just sad and yet felt like a bit of karma come around, but then, yet again, I still felt sad for Yunior!
I was so glad you picked a short story collection, then had a crazy busy month and forgot to read it. :( (That’s a lame excuse, as eveyrone is “crazy busy” and I still managed to read 3 or 4 other books.) Just wanted to say that I’m sorry I missed this one, but will try to pick it up soon at the library. I’ve read Diaz’s work before in anthologies and really liked his strong voice, which includes his Spanish/Spanglish. Comments like the one from the 1-star reviewer get me all fired up, because, duh, fiction is supposed to immerse you in someone ELSE’s world.
I would also recommend Denis Johnson’s “Jesus’s Son” collection. He also has an astounding voice & uber- talent, but the subject matter (drugs) can get some folks feelin’ all judgy.
This was my first experience with Junot Diaz. It took me awhile. The writing style didn’t trip me up; as a matter of fact, it held a certain swagger I admire. Nor did the language barrier (I’d be a bit disappointed without it, actually. As it sets the scene, enlarges my own, small focus).
*Speaking of which, thank you, Jules, for your tangent. I had wanted to look that very thing up, but hadn’t the time.*
No, I think it was more the fact that I felt like his mother. I’d come home from a crazy day at work, snuggle in with the book, and immediately think, “Yunior, are you kidding me right now?!” If I could have slapped him upsdie the head, I would have.
But midway I was hooked. By the time the baby arrived on the scene, I was heartbroken.
And I’m probably the odd man out, here–but I actually loved the ending. It was there I truly began to see, “[he’s] not a bad guy . . . [he’s] like everybody else: weak, full of mistakes, but basically good.” For me, a spark of hope lived on that last page. Anticlimatic, perhaps . . . but isn’t that often the case with hope?