The trick to surviving a trip to IKEA is to maintain your sense of humor. You’ll need it when you try to measure anything longer than a child’s palm with the store-provided tape measures; shuffle through housewares with 4,000 of your closest friends; talk to employees or, better still, find employees. They hide. They see you coming and they hide like socks, keys, and bank fees.
Sunday was great. We knew exactly what we needed and went straight to the warehouse. Then we wheeled out all our items and looked back and forth between the trunk space and our purchases.
I shared my thoughts.
“I don’t know…”
He shared his thoughts.
“It’s gonna fit. It’s gonna fit because we’re not making two trips.”
To his credit he made it fit. He had to open boxes and play Tetris with furniture, but he made it fit. I was impressed, and meant to tell him so, but when I opened my door and found him sitting not an inch away from the steering wheel, knees up as if he was in stirrups waiting for a speculum, well, I dropped the enormous box of slipcovers I was holding and laughed until I couldn’t breathe. Then I wiped the tears from my eyes, took another look at him, and started laughing all over again.
I knew he was good at space planning, but I had no idea he was so limber.
Charlotte says
hahaha!
I have had exactly that experience with an Ikea sofa :-D
Jules says
That’s what nearly did us in! :)
Jane says
This certainly brings back some memories of our shopping trips to IKEA. I remember listening to a comedian who was saying how he had bought a Smartcar and then gone on a shopping trip to IKEA, bought two candlesticks and had to make the trip home twice as he could only fit one candlestick in at a time!
Jules says
Haha! We have an Expedition, which we are constantly talking about replacing for something smaller. We haven’t, because it’s been paid off for years and years. Anyway, after my husband vaseline’d the last piece of furniture inside we turned to each other and said, “We are never selling this car.” Seriously, we crammed a showroom in there.
Juliette says
Oh my gosh, yes, ha ha! We like to say that shopping at Ikea should be an Olympic sport. ;-) We went so often when we first moved that I actually got really sick of the place (I didn’t think this was possible). Now we set deadlines (and budgets) before we go in and are super proud if we can get in and out in 30 minutes or less, lol.
Monica says
30 minutes or less! I am totally impressed.
Juliette says
Of course the shortest visits are when I have a hard core list + a husband teetering on ‘cranky’, ha!
Jules says
Yes, that’s my husband, too! I can usually soothe the savage beast with hotdogs, chips, and an ice cream.
Monica says
When I saw those pictures on Instagram I knew there was a good story behind it. Trips to IKEA are always good for a laugh, especially when keeping hindsight in mind. We went to IKEA the week before last and ended up having to go 3 more times after (wrong doors, damages, mattress too big etc.). We are not that great at Tetris, so my husband had to leave us behind on one of the trips. It all worked out. We had cake while waiting for him to get back. :D
Jules says
One of my slipcovers has a tear in it, and I swear I audibly whimpered when I saw it. I don’t want to go back! It’s about 30 minutes away for us.
Good thinking on the cake. :)
Carrie @ Busy Nothings says
Oh yeah. We have SO been there. But keep in mind that our closest Ikea is 3+ hours away, so the drive back (squished up) was a little more interesting. Still, SO worth it (because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my Ektorp couch and my new bed)! ;-) Looks like you had fun (good thing you didn’t have the boys – or are they tucked away under the boxes?). :-)
Jules says
Glad to hear you love your Ektorp. ;)
My mom had the boys, although my husband was joking the whole ride home, “You okay back there, guys?” In order for him to change lanes I had to practically stick my head out the window.
Amy says
Now that, my friend, is the look of a winner! :)
Jules says
Oh, yeah, he was feeling smug. :)
Eleanor says
This post just made my day. Hilarious! Great job! I’ve discovered your blog a couple of months and I’m really enjoying it. And, because of you, I lost many many hours to the Fever series. THANKS!!
Jules says
Jerricho Barrons = HOT. Those books…absolute drivel, and I loved every minute of it.
heather says
Hilarious. I have a love/hate relationship with IKEA. I love their prices and style, but it’s exhausting to shop there and guess what? When you get home…the pain isn’t over as you still have to put everything together with that stupid little key! Since the closest IKEA to my house is 200 miles away, I have to factor in drive time. *sigh* Usually takes me two days to recover from my IKEA pilgrimage. But it’s fun!
Jules says
Oh yeah, tell me about it. All paths lead to an argument, too, if your HUSBAND believes instructions are “suggestions.” Grrrrr.
Susan G says
So cute!!
Can’t wait to see it all set up! Our closest IKEA is 100 miles away and we haven’t attempted it yet. Will have to rent a van if we go as we no longer have a big vehicle.
Jules says
I’ve been working on it around the clock since Sunday to have it ready for Thursday. It won’t be completely ready, but close enough. That’s why it took me so long to respond to comments today!
Kelly says
This is hilarious! What an amazing feat, both his spatial skills and your words to describe it all. Love this post!
Anita says
What a great story!
Seriously Sassy Mama says
Too funny!
Rachel (heart of light) says
Impressive contortion!
I’m pretty sure the key to surviving Ikea is bribing yourself with cheap hot dogs and ice cream afterwards. Works for me!
Jules says
I think that’s the only thing that keeps my husband going!
Melody F. says
Hubby’s looking at me like I’m nuts…this made me laugh out loud. I love your sense of humor!
Jules says
:D Thanks!
annie says
Oh, hilarious!!
Ali Rowan says
This post sums up everything I love about your blog, Jules. You have such a great attitude, and your writing style never fails to entertain!
Jules says
Aww! Thanks, Ali. :)
Meg says
Love that level of dedication! And you have definitely summed up why trips to IKEA are an annual pilgrimage rather than a regular event.
Jules says
Hah! I like that: an annual pilgrimage. Like Rome, only with more cursing than praying.
jeen-marie says
“Like Rome, only with more cursing than praying.”- LOVE!
Cydney says
I so enjoy your blog. Full diclosure: I work for Ikea. Trust me, the workers are not hiding from you.
Jules says
Hah! You never know, Cydney…I’m there often. My reputation may precede me! ;)
Kendra says
This has to be one of your best posts ever. ?
jeen-marie says
This cracked me up!
Thanks! I really, really needed something to make me smile today.
I hate going to Ikea, especially for 1-2 items. I have a bag of stuff that needs to be returned… from last year. Ugh!
Good luck with your project.
Ellen S says
We have an IKEA just a couple miles up the road and we swing over once in a while for a cone or cinnamon roll and some free entertainment—watching people trying to cram stuff in their cars. Hmmm… Guess I need a hobby! LOL
Linda says
Laughing here. Alot! Been there done that…in a foriegn country! They do not speak my language. Even if I could speak theirs more proficiently we do not think the same way. The people in that country use a bike to move a house full of furniture. I know. I accepted delivery on some.
My husband would also make it fit! Never made 2 trips when one will do! By the way, one of my sons calls IKEA the Devil’s Maze. Sometime I agree.