My appointment on Tuesday with the new doctor went well. The results of this latest course of blood work is similar to what I had over the summer. I am in excellent health, including my lipid panel, which is I am happy about given I am over weight. Thin doesn’t equate health, of course, but being overweight does come with risk factors and health concerns. My blood work belies all that, with two exceptions.
My vitamin D levels remain positively dreadful. Truly awful.
My blood work suggests inflammation somewhere in the body, with a possible elevated cardiac risk factor. Given that everything else is normal, this most likely relates to my vitamin D levels, which were discouragingly low, if I haven’t already mentioned.
This new physician is an M.D. who believes in alternative treatments, so I left with a list of herbs and supplements to buy at the health food store. We’ll see how I feel in a month.
Vitamin D was not on that list. Instead, we are going to try applying it topically through a cream dispensed by a compound pharmacy. I don’t have it yet–it should be ready by next week–but I’m hopeful this will be what brings my levels into an acceptable range.
Enough about me. I feel like I am whining.
We spoke of Mikey, of course. I gave him a brief history and he suggested, without seeing him, the removal of dairy and wheat from his diet. I scheduled an appointment for him in March so he can do a proper work up on him, but for now I begin the task of modifying our diets. I’m not afraid of the challenge. When Nicholas was deathly allergic to nuts, his allergist told me the greatest chance he had for outgrowing his allergy would be complete avoidance of any and all nuts, including tree nuts. We were also instructed to avoid any item made in a facility that handles nuts. That eliminated most foods sold in health food stores and Trader Joe’s.
I made almost everything from scratch and we rarely ate out. It was a challenge at first, but I got used to it and established a good routine. In retrospect, it was the healthiest the boys have ever been. Still sick frequently, but not as much.
I found a few books on Amazon that touched upon childhood asthma, allergies, and healthy homes. Before I bought them, I thought I would try to corral some of the books I already have on the subject to avoid duplication. This is but a smattering; there are a few I know I have but can’t find. I was embarrassed, and closed the page on Amazon.
After my appointment on Tuesday, I felt more tired than usual and didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I attributed this to the stress of getting my blood results and the stress of talking about Mikey and admitting that something is not entirely right. I spent the last two days doing more research, of course (those of you who follow me on Twitter know I’ve been tweeting studies I’ve found), but I also spent a good deal of time vegging out reading books and blogs. Kelly always shares the best links, and her Monday post was no different. I found myself on Rachel Saldana’s blog reading about positivity.
Positivity is an attitude I often lack when it comes to myself. For others, I can be a damn fine cheerleader. Top-notch, in fact. But when it comes to me I resemble Eeyore. I’m never good enough, smart enough, and definitely not thin enough. My mom bought me that Norman Vincent Peale book at the top of the right stack when I was a newlywed. Come to think of it, she’s bought me plenty of books simplifying, slowing down, and positive attitude. When I was in college, my brother bought me this book for Christmas. I thought he was joking. He was not. I should see if I still have it. (I never read it.)
So there I was, reading Buttons Magee, thinking maybe Mikey could get better, or improve faster, if I change my attitude. Many people I admire credit positive thinking for much of their success. Even Oprah, for goodness sakes, thinks it’s the bee’s knees. At Camp Mighty, one of Oprah’s producers shared� her philosophy on positive thinking and creating intentions. I remember feeling inspired, convinced I would start being more positive from that point forward. Then I started worrying about looking stoned because my new mascara made my eyes burn. So much for that.
Every few years I think, “This is the year!” I’m going to believe in myself and get positive. I buy a bunch of books on the subject, most of which go unread. Every book on positivity you see in that pile is unread. I have a few more, like the Eckhart Tolle book I have listed in my Unread Library, but I can’t find it. Probably because when I tried reading it (several times) I just couldn’t get past the woo-woo.
The three books on the bottom right I bought on March 18, 2009. I know this because I found the receipt tucked inside the top one.I read the first few chapters of the book second from the bottom, realized the premise was that a ghost/spirit/other worldly being named Abraham was speaking through a woman and quietly closed the book. The others I haven’t even opened. They were all highly recommended by someone but, I don’t know.
Do you believe in positive thinking, intentions, and that what you think multiplies? If so, how has it helped you? I’m not unreceptive to the concept, as my library can attest. I’m want to believe, but I don’t know. I suppose it’s the age-old battle between the left and right sides of my brain. My analytical side wants double-blind studies with p-values > 0.01. My expressive side wants a new gauzy caftan to wear to the next smudging ceremony.
Both sides want to be sold, or at least more convinced than not.
p.s. Happy birthday to my Mister. Your present this year is my better attitude, and I promise not to worry as much about little things. This is the year! That sounds vaguely familiar.
My mum’s just been told her Vitamin D levels are low, and that she needs more exposure to sunlight.
Our climate is rather different to yours (overcast UK) and it doesn’t help that my mum is not one for underdressing- most of the time she is outside, which is quite a lot, she’s wearing long sleeves and trousers or a long skirt.
I have read elsewhere though of a population increase in low vitamin D because everybody is so conscientious about avoiding skin cancer and slathering on sun block and covering up. All great, but perhaps the answer is somewhere in the middle.
As an aside, I have Nourishing Traditions. I haven’t read all of it, but I’ve found what I’ve read interesting. It seems to confirm my gut instinct, which is that whether you believe purely in evolution or in what my ‘A’ level biology teacher used to scathingly refer to as ‘Special Creationism’, why would the food around you not be good for you? Why would those living in the Himalayas have access to the only superfood? Why would animal fat make you ill, if that is the food available?
I can see our change in lifestyle makes a difference to what nutrients we need (and in what quantities), but then maybe it’s our lifestyle that needs addressing rather than making ourselves eat egg white omelet.
Yes, I agree. We need to simplify not just our homes, but our lives as well. I’m guilty of that, definitely.
Oh Jules, your story is so familiar to me!
I did not have health issues so much as a troubled marriage, not enough money to live on, and poor self esteem. I worked hard for decades to be positive, convinced that if I did visualizations and thought positively and stopped trying to control things and thought the right thoughts, I would be happy. I was miserable. For decades.
A very good therapist was a good start. I took some classes and attended workshops. I really got that I had to be responsible for my life – to get that I am the one in charge. Thoughts don’t think me, I think the thoughts, and I can darn well choose what I think, where I put my attention. The change does not come from outside- I will be happy and content when I choose to be happy and content, rather than choosing to be upset and anxious by what is happening around me. I cannot change other people, I cannot always effect circumstances, but I can control how I react.
There is NO other way. It is a choice.
These days (I am pushing 60) I am happy about 95% of the time,. I have a delicious, beautiful life. I have been with my second wonderful husband about 15 years, have made and lost two fortunes, went back to work at 55 after being retired for 7 years, but I find joy every day because I look for it. I am deeply happy. I have fun every day because I make it happen, especially when conditions are difficult. I find things to praise in other people often, and always give them the benefit of the doubt. People are mean and nasty because they are unhappy, discouraged, and hurting inside, and I have compassion for them and never take it personally. Learning to be this way – happy and content – took darn hard work, and a belief that it was possible, and a commitment to do the work no matter what when I lost faith and heart that I could have a good, happy life.
A friend and I are on a short phone call early every morning together creating our day together, keeping each other on track, cheerleading each other when we are down. It takes 5-10 minutes to each say something like: “Who I am going to be today is peaceful and expectant, and then watch what shows up. I am going to get that difficult report done today, start on the next event, and have a talk with my boss about moving that big meeting to a different date. I will call my daughter to say hi and give myself extra time to make supper tonight. I will be kind to myself all day no matter what.”
Happiness, contentment and peace are all an inside job – one has to decide that having those qualities is important, and then the teachers show up. Marianne Williamson talked about committing to being patient, and then spent the next two years in very long lines.
Keep the faith and do the work. When you hit what looks like a dead end, keep going, keep asking, and know that every wall has a door.
Much love to you on your journey.
Thank you so much, Robin. What you have said is so important. Funny, I’ve checked out Marrianne Williamson books out of the library before. I’ve never finished them before having to return them.
Well, I don’t know if it fits in with positive thinking (I tend to be a big “what iffer”, while the hubby is all “do it and see what happens”), but I’m all over taking time each day and each week to make a list of things I’m thankful for. In fact, just today on Facebook and Twitter, I shared my weekly Thankfulness list and made the comment that taking time on a regular basis to sit back and express my GRATITUDE has actually done wonders for my daily ATTITUDE. No matter how bad I think it is, I can always find something to be thankful for, and it’s a regular reminder that am better off than 98% of the world. What am I complaining and worrying about?? When I move into a mindset of gratitude, I find that all those things I’ve worried and fretted about get put into perspective and shrink down to their correct size, and then I take a little bite out of them and start moving forward. I also pray. A lot. :-)
I think we’ve talked about this before, and you were a bit incensed about the 1,000 Gifts book, right? I still haven’t finished that book. The lyrical writing is hard for me to get past. I used to write a gratitude list every morning. I need to revisit that.
We did talk about it before, and yes, I’m not a fan of the 1,000 Gifts book {gasp}. Besides thinking that one should express gratitude without making money off of it, the writing style is also a deterant for me.
i’m deficient in vitamin D, among other things. Not absorbing oral supplements properly and that’s been leaving me with injections. For D I can’t do sunlight because it increases my inflammation, and other problems. More briefly- very glad I read this post. Going to talk to my doctor about topical options. I use a topical nsad but never even thought about it for supplements and no one’s mentioned it to me before. Happy to have another option.
Salmon oil helps me somewhat with inflammation, fwiw, though it sounds like your new doctor is all over your health stuff already and awesome. also fwiw when I was a kid and I had asthma problems my mom would remove dairy from my diet. My asthma was never a problem like it is for your little one but I still avoid all dairy during high pollen count days or other time my asthma’s triggered. it does seem to help. and I’m less, I hate this word, mucousy without dairy so it helps all around with allergies. But from one person with asthma… No dairy did and does still help. I also outgrew a few allergies, some were lessened. a very few got worse and no new ones developed.. Basically- it frequently does get better. Just another voice to add to the chorus to cheer that it really does frequently improve.
For inflammation, I’m taking curcumin, I think. Actually, you can see everything I am taking in this picture. I just don’t want to mention it in a post because I don’t want to suggest options when I haven’t even tried them myself. Just know I don’t know if anything I just bought will work. http://instagr.am/p/HFf83NEMiW/
This is a toughie, but I recently finished The Power of Positive Thinking and it was helpful for me. Again, I’ve got a post coming on this next week :)
The book had been on my shelf for years. I picked it up because I had been struggling with some anxiety issues. I wasn’t sure if it would help, but I figured it was worth a shot. I started reading it and found marks I’d apparently made in it years ago. I have ZERO recollection of reading it before, but I can see that I made it about halfway through. I know there was a time when I was working full time, felt sort of unhappy and was searching for “something” – I probably picked up the book then and obviously it didn’t make much of an impact. This time, I suppose I was more open and I found myself not only underlining parts, but taking notes like I would have to give a report on it. I actually implemented some of the daily tasks that he suggests, instead of reading and thinking, “Good idea,” but never doing it. It is the sort of book that I will refer back to often, now, and I am keeping the notes handy.
I happened to mention that I’d read the book to my mother, and she told me that her grandmother loved it. That sort of surprised me, but made me feel more connected to the book and to the changes it has been helping me to make. So, based on my recent experience with that one book, I think this can be the year that you become your own cheerleader if you are open to creating and keeping some new daily habits. Good luck.
This made me laugh, because I think I started reading that book when my mom gave it to me 12 years ago and vaguely recall marking parts of it up, but when you said you started implementing his daily tasks I thought, “There are daily tasks?” I might to put this on the reading list. Now I’m curious about the daily tasks!
Also, this reminds me a bit of Robin Reid’s post above where she says when you open yourself up, the teacher you need finds you.
Yes – daily tasks! You’ll love that :) I’m going to list my top ten tomorrow.
Jules – Please look into the Paleo way of eating. It’s about eating whole foods, proteins, fats – no dairy, sugar, grains or legumes. I have been exploring it for many months now and now that I’ve quit my job (!!!!!) I’m going to spend next week devoted to planning how to implement it. You know Mason is also sick all the time. From Septmember of this year to early January he had been sick and on medication the entire time. The ENTIRE time. He had pneumonia twice (!), and colds inbetween. He was on antibiotics and/or steroids (oral and inhaled for his asthma) nonstop for nearly 4.5 months so I completely understand where you’re coming from.
Here are some places to start:
http://www.marksdailyapple.com
http://whole9life.com/2012/01/whole-30-v2012/ – this is a 30 day start on the Paleo path
http://nomnompaleo.com/post/2982384246/whole30-day-by-day-updated-1-31-12-hey-i – a tasty look into this family’s whole 30 challenge, she has two small kids
http://theprimalparent.com/2011/08/25/primalpaleo-parent-bloggers-and-their-favorite-reads/ – great paleo/primal parenting resources.
I ate this way for a short time last summer before all hell broke loose and I went back to old habits (read – eat crap and don’t move) and in 3 weeks I felt great myself. Although we dont always do what is good for us, right?
Good luck – I know how frustrating it is to have your boy sick all the time but as you mentioned above – there is a different way to think about it and being positive helps turn the corner to see solutions. :) xoxo to all of you and your family! Susie
You quit your job?! Did you put this on Facebook? Wait–that doesn’t matter because I’m terrible about scrolling through the new facebook! I need to email you. I noticed you were pinning a bunch of paleo recipes lately. I meant to email you about that. Poor Mason. He reminds me of Mikey at that age. We need to crack the immune system code of these first born boys together!
Much love to you and yours.
I recommend this book for all mothers – Buddhism for Mothers. Very light on the woo-woo and very good on acceptance and meditation. She recognizes that sometimes, when things are crap (because your sick, your kids are sick, whatever), you’re not going to feel like Ms. Suzy Sunshine. And that’s OK. She gives you methods for working through the anger/depression at being in this place at this time, until you feel the simplicity of being. At any rate, take a look – I loved it, as have many of my friends – non-Buddhists, all. This is the first one I’ve read: http://www.amazon.com/Buddhism-Mothers-Approach-Yourself-Children/dp/1742373771/ref=pd_cp_b_0
But she also has a couple that are geared towards parents of the very young and schoolchildren.
Soule Mama recommends this book as well. I’m putting it as a to-read on GoodReads. Thank you.
I do not believe so much in positive thinking as primary. I think it is a natural result of a mind trained in gratitude for blessings. My favorite training book is Romans. The part about how God can make good things out of bad is particularly positive. Hope you all feel better.
Thanks, Candace. Turning to the bible is wonderful advice.
So sorry to hear all this, but I can relate. I’ve been dealing with inflammation issues stemming from arthritis and several bulging discs in my lumbar. I can’t tell you how much diet has influenced and helped in the past few months (since October). Joy Bauer’s Food Cures book is invaluable in discussing many health issues relating to inflammation – arthritis, chronic pain, cardiac disease, etc., with not only lists and diet advice, but the whys of all this. I’ve been following an anti-inflammatory diet for almost 6 months and besides the fact that I can now sleep through the night without waking in pain, I’ve lost 10 lbs. Of course, I also joined a gym and go regularly, which is another thing that is important to combating inflammation. Not just cardio either; what they say about weight bearing exercise is entirely true. Good luck!
My mom had the same conditions as you, along with fybromyalgia. For her, removing gluten and dairy were life changing. The power of foods is amazing. Thanks for sharing your story. I’ll look into the Bauer book, too.
Good morning Jules! I can relate to the books half read & the want to improve myself but not following through. I have your unread Eckhart Tolle book next to my bed, it’s been there for a few years, only 1/3 read. I remember finding it very interesting & not sure why I stopped reading it. I really believe that all things happen for a reason, that every gray cloud has a silver lining. That positive thinking brings great things & visualizing what you want helps it become reality. I have people in my life who are always in turmoil, they chalk it up to bad luck. I think it’s poor decisions and the negative energy they give off. For what it’s worth, I think you’re beautiful, I think you’re a wonderful mother and you are an inspiration to me every morning. I just celebrated my 40th birthday last weekend. I have 2 boys, 9 & 7. My youngest has Down Syndrome and while our struggles are a bit different, I feel like you’re the CA version of my MN self. I hope 2012 is a year of positive change for all of us & that your darling family is feeling better soon. I’m on day 6 of quitting my 3 cig a day habit. That’s my start to a better me! Now I just have to dust off that treadmill….ugh. :)
Thank you so much, Missie! I’m all overwhelmed and don’t know what to say. :)
You know, you need only spend some time in a room full of Cup-3/4-fullers to witness the power of positive thinking. When you leave their presence you too feel as though you could fly. On the flip side, you leave a room full of naysayers and suddenly you’re SO tired, and achy, and you’re pretty sure that dull ache in your head is something far more sinister. Granted, sometimes life sucks. And I think sometimes you just need to hit a punching bag, throw a tantrum, cry in a tubful of bubbles–get it out of your system, and then go on. The key is not to simmer on your discontent. The key to that, I believe, is simply putting one foot in front of the other. Do your best. Be thankful–for the big and the small. Surround yourself with “anchors”–those who encourage, inspire, and help keep you on track. Success is most often built on the back of failure–not an easy road for us perfectionists, but it can be done! We’ve just got to learn to view the world through the three that remain: faith, hope, and love.
Sadly, this comment is probably more for me than anyone. I’m suddenly having a Stuart Smalley moment: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!” Say it with me now . . . :)
The key is not to simmer on your discontent. The key to that, I believe, is simply putting one foot in front of the other. Do your best. Be thankful�for the big and the small. Surround yourself with �anchors��those who encourage, inspire, and help keep you on track. Success is most often built on the back of failure�not an easy road for us perfectionists, but it can be done! We�ve just got to learn to view the world through the three that remain: faith, hope, and love.
Excellent, Amy.
I have been reading your blogs here (but not twitter, FB) about vit. D and diet, etc. I feel for you. It is horrible to not feel good and you are young! My personal take on “positive thinking”, is to pray and ask for God’s help. I am not a “holy roller” or part of the religious right–just a conventional Catholic with 12 yrs of Catholic education (brainwashing?). I find that if I speak to the Lord it helps. Case in point, last month I lost my Mom. She was in her 90s but still sharp, funny, interesting, my champion, and I loved her to death. I prayed and prayed that I would be able to get through her eventual death and not fall apart. In the last few months, it was what I thought about on waking each morning before I even left the bed. (Jesus, please help me to get through this and be able to deal with it.) I just dreaded the idea of losing her and all it meant. Could not imagine the emotional toll + planning a wake, funeral, etc. Added to that, I really really wanted to speak at her funeral, but was afraid to do it. Well, she died somewhat unexpectedly (though you are never ready for it), yet in hindsight, it made sense–she waited for my sister from NY to fly in and see her, then passed away in her sleep that night. I got through it all–including the sibling drama that inevitably played out. And I spoke at her funeral, albeit slowly in a quaking, halting voice, but still never lost my composure. It felt so good to honor her with my words, and I am so glad that I had the nerve to do it. Maybe this would have been how it would have all played out anyway, but I felt that a spiritual power helped me and I still feel that way. Do the research, read the books, cover all the bases, and don’t forget to ask God for help every step of the way.
Amazing, Jeanne. At the few funerals I have attended, I have always admired those who were able to get up and speak. Your advice to pray to God was excellent. Candace (Witty Mermaid up above) had similar advice, and I think it’s what I needed to hear today.
[Note: I haven’t read any of the comments so I hope no one thinks this is in response to anything someone else may have said – it’s really not.]
I am not the best person to ask about having a positive attitude. Here’s my rant – and of course, for me, it’s cancer-related. I think telling people they “should” have a positive attitude, and that they will “do better” (in my case, not die) with a positive attitude, and so on, all puts a great deal of pressure on the person with the problem. So when I was stressed out and afraid I was going to die because I had cancer, then I was DOUBLE stressed out because I was stressed out so that meant I would DEFINITELY die because I wasn’t being positive. This has become something of a cause for me – when I talk to cancer groups (I may have already written about this here) and say that I don’t have a positive attitude, having cancer sucks, and I still yell at my kids and whine when the alarm goes off in the morning – the room is generally filled with relieved laughter. Honestly? I don’t believe having cancer was a blessing. Some people do and that’s great – I would never try to argue them out of it. But I’d give anything not to have gone through that.
I HATE (sorry for yelling – but I really do hate it) when people say to have a positive attitude. I think it’s great to learn not to blame yourself, not to chase perfection, to forgive and love yourself – and lots and lots of other great positive things. But some things just suck – it sucks that Mikey has to deal with all this, and that you have to deal with his issues and yours.
So – learn what you can and take charge as much as you can, but in my opinion – don’t try to make yourself something/someone you are not. If you can change your attitude and that works, then great. If not, then great also. You are smart and you care and you are not afraid to get out there and find answers – that is so much more than many people have.
I am of course overthinking and second-guessing this comment. Sigh…just wanted to add that I do think it’s a problem when someone is chronically depressed and negative – just that I think sometimes being “told” to be positive is simply another source of stress.
Thanks for this Susan. You’re really onto something here. I don’t (and hope to never) have cancer, but it sucks. period. no happy shiny face beside this comment. I just think what you’ve said is awesome.
Jenn – you can’t know how much that means to me. Thanks!
I think there is a lot to what you said, Susan. Denial is as dangerous as anything else, and I’ve always heard that it’s important to honor your emotions. Besides, I always heard that to get to happy you had to travel through a host of other emotions, as well.
Thanks for the links, I’m glad someone likes my Monday posts! ;)
I hope your new supplements and diet changes help. I would be frustrated with not getting better too.
I do believe in positive thinking. And I agree with the comment above that it has to be trained if it doesn’t come to you naturally. I would probably consider myself more of a pessimist naturally but I’m working towards positive. I agree with the gratitude idea too – the more I practice that the more positive I am about everything.
hang in there friend!
Thanks, Kelly. Maybe one day you’ll list your favorite blogs. ;)
When I was in college, just before I started therapy for the aftermath of depression, I began writing down any compliment, accomplishment, or good thing that happened that day. I needed a visual reminder that I was not what the lies in my head told me I was. It took time but two years later my self-esteem was completely turned around and positive once more. Still, like you, I tend to be an Eeyore about myself, while cheerleading everyone else. A year ago I read Ann Voskamp’s 1000 Gifts and started writing down the blessings in my life. It’s really retrained the way I look at life and I can honestly say that I am more positive and encouraging in all aspects of my life now. I take the good with the bad evenhandedly and I am grateful for that change. We can’t change our circumstances but our attitudes toward them can make all the difference.
I have GOT to finish that book! Maybe that’s what I will do this weekend. Thanks so much for giving me the nudge I need.
Love it when you said you couldn’t get past the “woowoo.” I so getcha on that. Praying that you get to the bottom of all this! And thank you so much for sharing your journey.
A friend sent me this video recently and both hubs and I agree that the guy has some great points. (We’re always skeptical of “woowoo” when it comes to “+thinking.” But, I was really encouraged by this: http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html
Wow – thanks for posting that. It was very interesting (and encouraging as you said), Plus entertaining.
That was awesome, Jessica. I loved it!
Happy Birthday Mr. Mister! Is that the polite way to address someone else’s Mister? You do this often, have me engrossed in your posts, serious as they may be and than throw something like this in so I choke on my coffee:
“I remember feeling inspired, convinced I would start being more positive from that point forward. Then I started worrying about looking stoned because my new mascara made my eyes burn. So much for that.”
I am convinced you are trying to kill me.
I think you’re the only one who catches my (probably not so great) attempts at humor.
No. We get it. Really.
Your post today coincides with thoughts I was having yesterday. I had just watched this TED talk and found it very helpful (it has specific tips at the end for how to develop a happiness habit). Don’t be put off by the title (The Happy Secret to Better Work) because it’s actually about how to be happier. And Shawn Achor delivers his message in a fun lighthearted manner.
http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html
That’s so funny, Jessica recommended it above! It’s really good, thank you. :)
I’m pretty much completely unable to read self-help books of any kind. It’s like part of my DNA or something. I was raised by two very sarcastic, down-to-earth cynics, and really I think it all comes down to having a firm sense of humor, and a firm sense of self. Or as my dad, a bartender used to say: “Don’t try to bullshit the bullshitter.” (So basically, I’m unable to get past the woo-woo.)
And the ONLY book I’ve ever returned after purchasing was “The Happiness Project” last year. Please.
I have that book! Haven’t read it. (Of course.)
If you enjoy the Nourishing Traditions book, you may enjoy the site Nourished Kitchen. Who knows, I may have stumbled there from a link in one of your earlier posts, but I really enjoy it. It’s a completely revoluntionary way of looking at food for me.
I haven’t been to that blog in a long while. Thanks for the reminder! I just clicked over and it’s full of great recipes and content. Looks like I’ll be reading it later today. :)
I just moved my vitamin D supplements to the front of my desk. I need to get better about taking them. And taking care of myself, in general. This is supposed to be the year of taking care of myself. I resolved.
I’m NOT a positive thinker. I have this embarrassing deep rooted belief in jinxing that I can’t seem to shake. So I worry that if I imagine the best, the worst will happen. But I don’t want to go around imagining the worst either. My work around is to allow myself to picture the outcome I fear, prepare myself for it mentally (by creating a back up plan) and then I let the fear go. Then I don’t spend time thinking about the outcome, I just acknowledge that I have no control over the outcome so I just need to go through the process of taking the action I need to take. And I tell myself that the important thing to remember is that I can handle it, whether I get my desired outcome or not.
This isn’t foolproof, of course. I’m an anxious person, so there are times when I dwell on things. I just try to keep reminding myself that I can channel that nervous energy into something productive. I just find that once I’ve allowed myself to acknowledge the worst, it no longer sits there and haunts me the same way.
I know that you will find a solution that works for Mikey (and for you!). It may not be easy, but you’ll do it. Because that’s what you do.
Thank you, Rachel. I’m laughing because the last time I posted about vitamin D I think you said you were going to move your supplements to the front of your desk. :) Why is it so hard to remember? I think that’s part of my problem, too–I’m horrible about regularly taking supplements.
I don’t believe I’ll jinx myself, but HEAVEN FORBID I act without a plan B. I’m such a planner, no doubt my way to soothe my anxiety.
I knew we were kindred spirits years ago when you posted an excel spreadsheet detailing your cookie baking plans for your sister’s wedding. You kept (sort of) apologizing/justifying your spreadsheet which, to me, was complete unnecessary. I thought it was a thing of beauty!
My thought processes swing both ways, but mostly I like to look on the bright side, not always easy as I think those hormones of mine have a lot to answer for at times!
Have you thought about taking up walking?? I find it great and believe me I am not sporty person. It took me a while to get myself out there, but honestly its great. It will help you pick up vitamin D without taking/applying something else to your body and no doubt a more natural way to get it than some manufactured pill/lotion – even if it is from a health food shop, it is also free this way. Walking will also help with your weight issues, aches and pains will ease with the movement and the best thing of all, your self esteem will sky rocket. This is all true for me. When I am not walking as often, my lower back is stiff in the mornings & my face loses that healthy glow, which in turn starts to affect my self esteem.
Start off with a short distance for a few days, then slowly increase it. Make it a priority, diary it if you have to! Go on give it a go!! Who knows, if you start feeling better about yourself there may be a flow on effect to your family.
I’m not a self help book type. Apart from the cost, I think they only help the person who wrote them – & mostly financially (so much for my positive outlook lol). I would rather be out there actioning the thing I need to fix as deep down I think we all know what we need to do to change things.
My doctor said to start walking 30 minutes everyday and work up to one hour. This is funny, because a couple of weeks ago I took Nicholas on a walk with me and I found it very soothing. I immediately thought I should do it more often, and then of course everyone got sick and I was home bound. It felt so good, though, that I really need to find a way to do it regularly. Great advice. :)
I’m so glad you found it soothing – I do too. It is also a great way to clear the clutter in the mind. Great that you can take Nicholas too, it makes it easier if you have someone else with you. Keep it up, I am cheering you on from behind my PC and I hope you can make it out again!
I have always been a worrier, but becoming a mother has made me an anxious wreak. I wish I had some amazing words of wisdom, or a truly helpful book suggestion. One thing that has helped me with tossing and turning: I started writing before bed, what I am worried about how I’d like to see it change, things I am grateful for. It has helped a little to get it out of my mind and on to paper. It’s a brutal battle, especially when you worry about worrying. I hope that this new doctor helps and you are able to beat those cloudy negative thoughts with a heavy dose of sunshine (vitamin D).
You know what is funny, Carla, is that your house is so full of red or red accents! I assume that is your favorite color? Anyway, I saw all the red and I took you to be a passionate, live out loud personality who isn’t a worrier at all. Isn’t that funny? Here you are telling me the opposite, that you are like me, always worrying. I read a quote once that I never forgot that pretty much summed up motherhood for me when the boys were babies:
“To have a child is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body.”
~ Elizabeth Stone
Red is my favorite color and I definitely project a cheery disposition, but then I stay up half the night facing down the demons I spend all day ignoring. It’s getting better but worry is a nasty thing. I love that quote, so true! Thanks so much for sharing, it always helps to know you’re “normal”
I don’t know. My loved ones would say that I’m a pessimist, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And I guess that’s true, I am always looking for something to go wrong. My father insists that I “do everything the hard way” (and I don’t really know what he means). But I think of myself as essentially optimistic — I feel like things always work out in the end, I just expect everything to be very hard along the way. So maybe I do think positively, but only on a very large, long-term scale.
Anyway, I think it’s a bit silly to work from a premise that we all must be “positive thinkers” to be our best selves. We’re all different, we all have different perspectives, and we all cope and adapt differently. Why isn’t the whole “cult of positivity” treated with the same ambivalence as one-size-fits-all diet programs? I mean, if it is helpful for you to see the world that way, rock on! Good for you! But what is great for you may not be great for me. Just like I would shrivel up and die on a low carb diet.
I absolutely agree with Susan G. Sometimes people push positive thinking so hard, that it almost becomes a way of saying it’s your own fault when things don’t go well or you stay sick or whatever. I do think that everyone benefits from being aware of their blessings or good fortunes and being grateful for them, but we have this culture of suppressing and denying any unpleasantness and that is not helpful. Everyone should be allowed to say, “This is crap. I hate it. It really sucks and I don’t deserve it.”
It’s that whole Italian tradition of finishing a meal with Campari…to remind you that life is both bitter and sweet. (This is totally relevant and related to me, but I realize I may have completely derailed here. Sorry.)
I think the Campari analogy is excellent! Of course, I named my blog Pancakes and French Fries, so I guess I have a thing for balancing out sweetness with a little bit of savory. :)
I like what you said about the cult of positivity, and how it can be used to blame yourself when things don’t go exactly as planned.
You are being so brave baring this to us. You are courageous to be open to a new way of being. I applaud you Mama. You are on the right track.
To the extent of the non-positive (though not entirely negaitve) thinking- how has it served you so far? Does it work for you? So in other words, maybe give the positive thinking a go, see how it feels, pay attention to your thoughts and witness them without judgment. Maybe approach it as an experiment. To go along with your “library” The Daily Love dot com gives daily posts about ways we can improve ourselves. It’s pretty awesome and not too woo-woo. Also the Handel group (you can subscribe to their blog) will give you a kick start on cleaning up your internal/emotional stuff.
I will go check that site out! I already had a reader email me a link from that site based on your recommendation, so it must be good! :)
Hi,
Lurker here. I haven’t gone through all your readers’ comments yet, however wanted to say that when I started supplementing with D I saw such am improvement in my allergies and asthma that I started supplementing my little boy as well. He’s not off asthma meds like I am but he’s dramatically better. If you find a way to supplement that doesn’t make you toxic then you should mention it to your doctor regarding your son. Also, supposedly, eating wheat burns through your body’s stores of D so cutting out wheat is supposed to help, like your doctor mentioned.
My son is little, too, and frankly I think he needs his oversize, crater filled, nasty looking tonsils taken out. But apparently asking a doctor to do that nowadays is a Big No-No. It’s not the fashion anymore doncha know.
Good luck!
The pictures aren’t laoding on my phone, but I was wondering if your doctor prescribed Carnitine? It’s an essential amino acid particularly important in helping the body utilize Vitamin D.
Actually he did! I’m so glad to hear that from you. I feel better. I found it in the co-Q10 section (he’s having me take that, too) and I assumed it was for something like Chronic Fatigue.
Good–glad you’re on that, too! It helps with CF, but it’s synergistic with Vitamin D. I sure hope you’re feeling better soon!
I did two rounds of 50,000 IU of Vit. D for 12 weeks in 2010 & brought my D levels just barely up to normal. Now I’m on 2,000 IU daily for life. It’s a tough thing to bring up. I hadn’t heard of the topical cream, but I’m glad you’re trying it. I hope it helps!
Positivity, yes. I absolutely believe that it helps. I believe that what you put out comes back to you. It’s kind of like the “take care of yourself first” philosophy. We, women, are nurturers and tend to put everyone else first, but if we’re ignoring our own needs, we cannot be fully there for anyone else. Same goes for positivity. If we’re not feeling it on the inside, can we truly be giving it to others? I’m not sure I’m conveying that in the way I truly mean it.