She would later go on to win the Nobel Prize for her work in discovering the thirteenth Immutable Law of Gender Communication, which proves, in part, that when a woman states, “Please stop at the store and pick up paper towels,” a man will hear, “Please stop at the store and pick up the thinnest, cheapest, most ineffective paper towels you can find, preferably with an ugly pattern.”
This cracked me up! Of course it had to have a pattern. One time I asked my husband to stop at the store and pick-up some mushrooms. He came home with a can of them (which I didn’t know existed).
because that is what you’ve been using your whole married life, right? hee hee, wink ;)
HAHAHA! Great morning snicker. SO true.
I have a serious ISSUE with patterned paper towels. Hate them. Like, Taliban hate.
My husband heard “whatever coffee” to mean “whatever coffee” instead of a decent coffee that you have seen me drink before. The store brand french roast (and not whole foods type store brand) does not fall into the “whatever” category.
You are very funny. Thank you for sharing.
One time I asked him to go with Mikey to the store and pick up “whatever Mikey likes for his lunch at school” which I thought he would understand meant, “whatever Mikey would like that is within reason and something that I might actually buy.”
He came home with rainbow marshmallows.
i cant stop laughing….
They eat marshmallows for meals when I am at work. That and obscure meat products.
Oh, truer words have not been written. And I could say the same about toilet paper. I think my husband would be content wiping with cardboard. (Whoops… Is that inappropriate? Oh well…)
This must be why my mom always did the grocery shopping…
Hah!
One time my mom let my dad do the grocery shopping. He spent almost $300 (IN THE 80s!) and bought almost an entire end cap of hamburger helper because it seemed, “like a good deal.”
We ate hamburger helper for YEARS.
So funny!
How true is that? However, after 10 years of being married to a paper snob, I think my husband finally gets it :)
haha soooo true! How many times have I texted “NO BEARS OR TEAPOTS!” only to be greeted by those half size paper towels where you can “pick your size?”
The Mister LOVES those. When I told him he bought the wrong ones he said, “I was trying to buy the ones where you can pick your size!”
Well, at least he didn’t spend $20 on heavy duty, blue paper towels. Apparently,” they are used in car garage settings, where they use them to mop up oil!” To his credit, I cleaned the entire bathroom with just one of those. And I could have cleaned the kitchen with it afterwards, but that would just be gross.
HAH!!!
I love the blue heavy duty towels! I use them all the time for cleaning, I tell all my friends about them.
Hah! The horrible thing is that, even if you give them tasks to do where they have to use the infuriating inferior paper towels, so they might just understand how terrible they are to use, they’ll still buy them. To make it worse, with the way grocery stores are set up, the NAMEBRAND/decent paper towels are *right* at eye level, so they actually have to go out of their way to get the worst ones!
Yeah, and it’s even better when they turn grey as soon as they get wet, as they are falling apart.
That’s what these did! Yesterday Nicholas spilled an entire glass of water at the table. The Mister got all frustrated (it spilled on Mikey’s homework) and I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll just run into the kitchen and grab 32 crappy paper towels. I’ll use them to push the water in the opposite direction.” Needless to say, half of them broke apart mid-push.
Bwahahahaha, SO TRUE!
Jules, you really should be writer. I love your wit.
Marla in Columbus, O-H-I-O
Thanks for the laugh.
Love your blog.
hahahahaha
We just had this issue!!!!! Seriously! It’s more expensive to buy the “cheaper” paper towels b/c you have to use 20 for every 1 bounty you would use. I think we should campaign to replace one beer commercial during football games with a Bounty commercial! How does that sound? Or a commercial of Bounty cleaning up Beer! I like it! :)
If we have any shot at solving this problem, we will need beer, boobs, and bounty.
aahhh-men!
Since I always buy a gigantic package of paper towels at Costco, my husband and I have a different problem when it comes to paper towels. I prefer to dry my hands on the dish towel hanging from the oven door handle and I use paper towels to clean up messes so they can go directly into the trash. My husband dries his hands on paper towels and cleans up messes with the dish towel and hangs it back up so when I go to dry my hands they get covered in ketchup and peach parts. Blech. I shouldn’t complain though, he is an excellent cook.
Oh my how right you are. Every time I send my husband out to get a few things he comes back with those exact paper towels that work like tissue paper and stuff that we didn’t even need – but he still manages to call me 7x before he comes from the store. sheesh I should’ve just went myself. Love your blog long time reader first time I’m commenting!
How did I miss this? Too true, too true.
Sadly, this thread is long dead. But I just wanted to put out there that my Gentleman is the one who complains about the paper towels I buy, because I never use them and as such I buy the cheapest ones. They are for bacon only. For real, I buy one roll of paper towels every three or four months. If he wants more, or better quality, that’s on him.
He buys weird, cheap snacks, though. Like the crazy random potato chip flavors that no one ever buys so they’re always on sale and produced by some brand you’ve never heard of.
I am having the best time reading through your blog after only finding it a few days ago. Your writing is magical. Write a book!! Thank you for being your authentic self….