You don’t really take pictures when you have a blog.� You certainly don’t take snapshots.� You compose images and try to capture “happiness,” “fleeting moments of solitude,” and “the magnitude of the mundane.”� If you are really good, you also rock the hell out of a third birthday party for under $15 using nothing more than a ball of eco-friendly hemp yarn and vintage buttons you culled from a year of thrifting. I’m not that good, which I why I didn’t feel guilty about canceling Nicholas’s birthday party on Friday for more than a few moments. Okay, a day and a half.
The previous Saturday, after all the Baptism festivities were over, Nicholas made it known he had acquired my stomach bug.� That night and the subsequent morning was a messy business that left The Mister and I tired and grumpy.� But, we had hopes he would be party-ready by mid-week.� Nicholas was fine on Sunday, weak on Monday, and on Tuesday baptized the car on the way home from picking up Mikey from school.� I worked my way through the invite list after I cleaned him up and put him to bed.
I could have pushed it.� I could have had the party on Friday with no one the wiser.� But, in reality, I was relieved to have an opportunity to cancel a party that became more about the perfect post and less about the boy.
It started innocently enough. My aunt and cousin would be here for Nicholas’s birthday. For the first time in my entire life, I would have extended family here on a birthday–any birthday! That deserved a party. Just a few people. Nothing fancy.
Then Nicholas decided, with Mikey’s help, that he wanted a dinosaur party. I’m all about the dinosaur, so I decided this party would be like the glitter dinos, only better. Those were done on a whim with my boys in mind. This party would be a perfectly executed dinotopia.
I love being creative as much as the next person. I like to come up with new ideas and create fun memories for my children. (All the better if they fit within the confines of my blog, yes?) But sometime after Mikey’s cold and my stomach flu I began to realize that I would never have time to fashion my mesozoic paper garland made from pictures of Nicholas’s first three years. And I was kidding myself if I thought I could make dinosaur sugar cookies or vegan chocolate cakes while a cauldron of sauce bubbled away on my stove for creamy polenta. Also, I didn’t want to do any of it, either.
I love being creative as much as the next person, yes. But, I like to be creative on my own terms. And, when I feel like I am being creative to impress others rather than my children, well, that’s when I take a simple stomach flu and make it sound like the bubonic plague. That’s when I start calling people and tell them that too bad, so sad, the party has been canceled. There will be no garlands or hemp yarn or vintage buttons snipped from coats that shall later be fashioned into quilts for snowy days.� Priorities need to be reevaluated.
Instead, there will be home-cooked food and cakes that taste better than they photograph. Snapshots, sometimes with flash, that leave odd blue spots on foreheads. Presents bought at ordinary stores, wrapped in ordinary paper, topped with ordinary bows. There will be in attendance family, just family, and they will watch a three year old boy smile a smile that cracks their hearts in two because he finally gets birthdays and he gets they are singing for him. And it will all be perfect without being perfect.
Because it was.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your realness. When I see all this perfection all around me, I begin to wonder what’s wrong with me. I keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter if I don’t have the Martha Stewart touch, as long as my boys feel loved.
Clearly, your home is full of love.
Amen, sister!
Happy Birthday to Nicholas! Looks like the best of parties to me!
Happy Birthday Nicholas! He is so, so adorable. Seriously, I can’t get over it. What a fun day for him.
“�and they will watch a three year old boy smile a smile that cracks their hearts in two because he finally gets birthdays and he gets they are singing for him.”
OK, I had tears in my eyes by the time I got to that part.
keeping it real … bravo !
I think Nicholas had a lovely birthday! Thank you so much for writing this. There is so much pressure to have a Martha Stewart style party and props to impress the grown ups and I hate that. That is so not me. I’m glad I’m not alone.
Reading your blog does not help my out of control biological clock! You make me want to be a mommy. This looks like the perfect party. He looks so happy. He isn’t going to miss the big decorated party. He is going to remember how happy he was that his momma made him a special cake and how loved he felt. Good for you!
Nicole–I wish I had a Flip camera so I could have video-taped his smile. My dad called me all weekend long just to talk about it. It was huge and full of joy/pride/shyness. He just kept looking at each of us singing…and he did this little fluttery thing with his hands. :)
Toi–my cousin actually made the cake, which made it even more special!
“And it will all be perfect without being perfect.”
YES. Thank you for saying this. I recently went through a similar situation with my son’s first birthday; I had wanted to do something fabulous and themed and color-coordinated and totally blogworthy…but after the stomach flu rolled through our home, rendering all of us useless, I knew it wasn’t going to happen. We ended up at my mom’s house with a few yellow cupcakes, a bunch of balloons, and a smiling toddler who was in heaven picking up leaves and throwing rocks into the grass. And it was just perfect.
I clicked over to your blog via The Bright Side Project — I’m so glad I did. You’re a brilliant writer.
Yep, that’s perfect.
Happy day, lil dude.
so true on all levels. Truly appreciating your honesty over here. Happy Birthday little man! You rocked the “perfect” birthday smile :)
Nicholas’ smile is so precious – he’s absolutely beaming. Which makes your party a smashing, perfect success!
Your blog makes me want to have kids – like right now and be the exact replica of a mom that you are – caring, loving, funny, and most of all, real!
So precious!! Honestly, your boys are very handsome!! (and Nicholas reminds me soo much of my godson..he looks like a wicked little mixture of scandalous and sweet all at the same time!!) Happy Birthday Nicholas!
The best pictures are those that capture a memory or feeling.. not those that just capture a pretty scene. That’s what you’ve captured..
Oh one of my very favorite posts, photo’s and all.
P.S. Those little Chiclet teethe are to die for….
They are Chiclet teeth! They’re little squares…
Oh how this totally hit home for me!
“I love being creative as much as the next person, yes. But, I like to be creative on my own terms. And, when I feel like I am being creative to impress others rather than my children, well, that�s when I take a simple stomach flu and make it sound like the bubonic plague.”
People always ask me why I don’t have an etsy shop or why I didn’t become a photographer…you just summed it up oh so very perfectly. Thank you thank you thank you.
“You compose images and try to capture �happiness,� �fleeting moments of solitude,� and �the magnitude of the mundane.� If you are really good, you also rock the hell out of a third birthday party for under $15 using nothing more than a ball of eco-friendly hemp yarn and vintage buttons you culled from a year of thrifting.”
Aint that the truth? Too often I intimidate myself into posting nothing at all.
But I gotta say that looked like an awesome birthday. Happy Birthday Big Guy! :)
:: sweetest ever ::
I just stumbled upon this blog, &just wanted to mention something.
I generally don’t understand when people coo over how adorable children are etc.
But your little ones, are some of *the* most adorable children ever.
Congrats on the good genes?
Also, he looks like he had a swell time.
The one photo where he appears to be yelling at the cake sorta totally makes me smile, because he just looks so elated. :]
Happy Happy Birthday (late) Nico!!!!! February 07 Babies still rule!!!!! But they are getting soooo big. I’ve noticed in your last few posts that had Nicholas in them that he was sooooo much a big boy. :(
And by the way, are you getting over your phobia of vomit yet? If you ever will…you should be getting there! :)
You are right, happy is better than perfect.
I just want to say… your blog is great. You are honest and real. That is hard to find now a days. I stumbled onto your blog and realized I know your Mister back in his former professions being a drink slinger. I want you to both know your kids are breathtaking and I am so happy for you and yours!
Hello Jules! I am going to leave you a note to look at the cute little boy in number three. =]