And so it ends. In the words of my friend, Harvey, Whew! Glad that’s over.
Yesterday we had The Mister’s family over to celebrate Christmas. It was low key, casual, and a perfect reminder for me to focus on the one resolution I have planned for the year: celebrate more.
The Mister and I are born recluses. We would gladly and graciously decline every party invitation we receive with only a twinge of guilt. We are no more hospitable at home, either. As newlyweds, we at least had people over (very) occasionally. Now we can say–a bit shamefaced–we never have people over.
We can blame this transgression on our hermit personalities, but there is a good deal of perfectionism mixed in there, too.
The house isn’t decorated the way I want.
We need a new dining room table.
My cooking could be better.
Maybe people won’t have a good time.
It’s too expensive to entertain the way I would like.
We’re tired from soccer and baseball and homework and life.
We really aren’t that fun.
And many, many more reasons I can come up with to keep from entertaining.
This year I have decided to worry less about what people may or may not be thinking about me, my food, or my house. At first I didn’t know what this meant or how I would measure my success, but I think I have come up with a game plan. At least once a month, we will host a party (small or large, the size is irrelevant). With people. And food. Maybe invitations, although a simple phone call is okay, too. Whether we celebrate the ordinary, the extraordinary, or the seasons, it doesn’t really matter. The idea is to gather together friends and family without thought for the bathrooms in need of a remodel or the fact that the art of pie crust making continues to allude me. (And for that, Pillsbury, I will always love you.)
January marks the first party. I’m not sure who or what or when we will be celebrating, but with citrus season in full swing around these parts, I can tell you what the menu and theme will most likely revolve around. Unless, of course, you can think of something better. I’ve been looking online for books on entertaining, and I can’t seem to find any good ones that include children. I don’t want to exclude the boys and, since most of our friends have children the same age, it seems silly to do so. Alicia Paulson has been recommending the book Food for Friends for years now. My friend, Kara, recommends anything by Ina Garten. Please do share your favorites.
So, that’s it. My resolution for the year 2010 is to celebrate more. I’m already a ball of nerves, antacid in hand.
May I suggest… tequila lime flank steak with a red cabbage salad and rice?
Just an idea. :)
Considering it’s an awesome suggestion, YES (!!), you can suggest a tequila lime flank steak with a red cabbage salad and rice. :)
We have similar issues at our house hence the same resolution was made by us so I look forward to seeing how it goes for you guys.
Also, Ina Garten’s tart crust is super easy and almost completely fail proof. I use it now for all my quiche. Previously, it was all Pillsbury all the time at our house.
I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to link to this entry on my blog. This is exactly the kind of resolution my husband and I were thinking of making. We are notorious hermits and it is incredibly unfortunate. Love this…
Ina has the best margarita recipe. Very simple…lots of limes and lemons. Oh! And tequila.
Oh so glad to hear this, I think that try and keep it simple, this way you won’t get all stressed out, do not worry that your home is not perfect, that maybe your cooking isn’t the best, those things really do not matter, what matters is being able to gather with your friends and family and for your children to experience the same. When my children were small and we would invite other families we would make it very kid friendly (menu) and also we played games ( board) ones, we did movie nights and pizza, we had great pool parties ( if you have one), sometimes we have a planned craft for the kids while the adults supervised and were part , you be surprise how many dads get involved. You not be afraid. I promise you once you do it a few times it becomes easier. Now my girlfriends and I get together with the grandkids, very fun. Have fun !!!
Keiko–Link away! That is always appreciated. :)
I REALLY relate to this post – in terms of NEVER having my house the way I want it. Hello, four kids, a dog, a cat, a husband and a frustrated designer all under one roof. Scary thought, huh?
But….then I remember my best friend’s house growing up. She was the youngest of four, and her parents were interior designers. The house always had some small renovation in process and laundry in crazy places. But I LOVED their house smell. Several rooms were elegant and done, but certainly not every room. Somehow it seemed charming. There was always a big dinner cooking and lots of joy in their home. I loved spending the night over there. Even as a six year old, I was excited to see their design projects continue…it was fun to see things evolve.
My point? Embrace the beautiful parts of your home and your style. Serve wine and big pots of pasta. Laugh a lot. Enjoy your wonderful company. You’ll create so many memories.
My favorite wine to serve is Conundrum. For cooking, I love to cook a roast in the oven with vegetables (including a jar of roasted peppers mixed in – secret weapon for flavor). Then I throw together a salad with bright red cherry tomatoes and sliced almonds. A french baguette completes the grouping. Easy, relaxed and casual. Although I would advise red wine with the roast.
We have parties at our house that are sometimes HUGE. We don’t have a big house but we have a lot of people we know from different areas of our life and we throw them together a couple times a year and it’s fun. Honestly, it is!
But to get your feet wet before you have a blow-out, have a couple families over for a small gathering. Make something ridiculously easy and do-ahead: I recommend a Sunday afternoon party of soup on the stove (or chili), a grilled chicken salad (do the chicken the day before!) and a baked potato “bar.” Make your baked potatoes while your pre-made soup is heating up. Set out all your chopped-or-prepared-yesterday toppings (sour cream, bacon crumbles, salsa, grated cheese, steamed broccoli, butter…) and let everyone go to town. The kids can have some baked potatoes and some of the chicken from the salad.
Round it all off with a bundt cake you baked and froze the week/month before (lemon poundcake! YUM), a fruit salad you made the day before, and a batch of freshly made brownies that take 5 minutes to put together.
Are you seeing my scheme? DO AHEAD=happy host. The most important wisdom I can impart is that you NEVER make something that requires you to be away from your guests and worrying. A good party happens because YOU are having a good time. Honestly. It’s as simple as that. YOU CAN DO IT, JULES!
We also decided that we needed to celebrate more (and get out more) in my family. So, this past summer, we started trying to find new holidays to celebrate. There are thousands of obscure holidays out there! We now proudly celebrate National Talk Like A Pirate Day, National Peanut Butter Day, Chinese New Year and a dozen other fun and family friendly holidays. For us it is easier to have a theme to work from. A few minutes on Google will give you tons of ideas to use. We pick two or three to celebrate each month. Just make sure you don�t get carried away, otherwise it becomes a chore rather than a joy!
I think I should clarify a few points before The Mister reads this post and complains that I am not giving myself enough credit. It’s not that I can’t cook at all–I’m a very good cook. And, it’s not that I am a bad hostess, either. But, like Jen suggested, I go nuts trying to make everything PERFECT and UNIQUE and COMPLICATED and THE! BEST! PARTY! EVER! Because I can’t live up to my own expectations, I do nothing.
My friend, Kara, was great about having people over when she was married to “he who shall not be named.” They had people over at least once a week, and she served anything from roasted chicken and vegetables on the weekend to enchiladas on a Wednesday.
I like that I am not alone worrying about how my house looks. Seleta, I can’t even imagine the stress I would feel as a designer! (Although the pictures you have shown of your house are GORGEOUS!) Funny thing is, I had a friend growing up who’s house was always a disaster and never decorated. I loved going there because it was so relaxed and friendly.
Maybe my 2010 resolution should be “celebrate and pull your conceited head out of your butt more.”
When our children were younger (they are now 10 and 12), we hosted an annual Mardi Gras party. Buy a king cake, serve hurricanes (lots of fruity stuff mixed with rum), gumbo, and we always had a craft for the kids and adults alike. We bought masks and decorated them with feathers and sequins. When we were done, we had a parade through the neighborhood. We were always a sight but it was lots of fun!
Michelle–you and Esther both recommended crafts, which is something I never considered. Hmmm.
so i am a Le Cordon Bleu graduate pastry chef in the IE, and i would LOVE to come and teach you how to make pie crust. it really isn’t hard once you know how to do it. and it tastes SO much better. and you could invite some friends and have a little party and kill two birds with one stone…..
and i’ll even bring some extra tums because making pie crust does give people a lot of anxitey. ;)
Um….I would like you to have Rose over so you can teach me what she teaches you because I have a TOTAL girl crush/obsession with the very manly julia child and learning how to “bake and make a pie”is high on the things to learn in 2010 list.
Also – did I ever share my tequila and orange recipe with you?!?! I think you might like it . ;)
Yea! That sounds like a fun + doable resolution, love it! I think you should get your chimichurri (sp?) on, who doesn’t love that stuff? I personally could drink it and it would make a fun take home pressie…Books? I am in love with Ina too but easy peasy Italian (and authentic) would be Giada.
This is a totally awesome resolution! I know exactly what you mean — I want it to be perfect and if it can’t be, then I won’t bother. But that’s so backwards. The priority should be spending time with people you love (who don’t care so much about your dated bathroom or the goofy drapes from the previous owner left that you haven’t replaced yet…er…). Good luck and I think it’s a great goal.
And don’t be scared of pie-crust. The JOY has a great recipe and a pastry cutter makes all the difference. Though I do sometimes feel like it’s a useless skill when Pillsbury tastes fine and is so easy.
Maybe a party with Rose where she teaches us to make pastry dough is in order. Would any readers be interested in that?
oh yes! do it do it do it!!!
i’ll bring some treats to snack on too! my famous baklava, some lemon cookies….. and of course some chocolate. it’s not a get together of girls without some kind of chocolate. :)
jules- you can email me at [email protected]…. that would be so fun!
I love Ina’s cookbooks as well�her stuff is typically not complicated and oh so delicious. As far as entertaining with kids, I dunno. Whenever I get together with our friend who have kids, we typically hang around eating and talking and let the kids roam around playing. Of course, they’re all still at the age when they don’t really socialize, they just kind of play in the same general area.
I’m with the Ina fans. Despite the horrific amounts of butter she uses, or perhaps because of it, she never, ever fails.
I have to disagree with anything Ina. She is not my cup of tea. I haven’t yet bought The Pioneer Woman cookbook, but most of the recipes off her blog are DELIGHTFUL. And given that I prefer simple, well-prepared food with lots of butter, PW is exactly my cup of tea. Enjoy entertaining. As a hermit by birth, I feel your pain. Oh… and I would recommend How to Cook Everything by Mark Bittman. It has never let me down.