I have a rule about the appearance of my car.� I don’t fuss about it too much since I have to park it outside and have small children, but I always like to get it washed when I am going someplace where I will meet people, even if it’s just my sister-in-law.� Much like leaving the house in clean underwear in case you are in an accident, I wash my car before events because you never know who might park next to you or suddenly need to climb in your car for something.� Hey, it could happen.
It rained last week, leaving my car extra dirty.� I didn’t have time to wash it and, as insane as I am, I contemplated a solution for this breach in protocol on my way to etnies.� If I showed up early enough (and I always show up early) I could secure a parking space in the far reaches of the lot.� No one would see me exit my dust bowl and slip into the building.� As for going home at the end of the event, I was banking on being too tired to care (as much) about windshield wiper tracks outlined by southern California smog and dust.
True to form, I showed up 15 minutes early.� That much went as planned.� What I didn’t count on was a parking lot the size of a postage stamp and three young, hip etnies employees standing outside to cordon off the available parking for the “mommy bloggers.”
I quickly rolled down my window to confirm I was at the right place and hide the dirt on one of the eight windows on my Soccer Mom-Beige Expedition.� Naturally, the youngest and cutest fellow from the bunch approached my car, a boy named Erin who appeared to be the same age as a cardigan I have in the back of my closet.� My memory isn’t perfect, but I think his outfit (black skinny jeans, checkered shirt, and Wayfarer Ray Bans) is the same one Ricky Schroeder wore when he gave Grandfather Stratton lip on that one episode of Silver Spoons.
He asked me twice if I was a mommy blogger.� Erin, if the extra 40 pounds and dirty SUV haven’t made that abundantly clear, I don’t know what to tell you.
Once inside, I freshened up and took a look around.� The corporate culture at etnies is exactly what you would expect from a skateboarding/action sports footwear and apparel company: young, hip, and conscious of trends while remaining true to the demands of the sport.� Everyone there is or was a skateboarder.� The owner, Pierre Andre Senizergues, is a professional skateboarder from the 80s and a pioneer of the sport.� Despite feeling every single extra pound and wrinkle, I had a wonderful time.� Everyone on staff was ridiculously nice, as were the rest of the twenty or so bloggers in attendance.
{Dan Brown, VP of Marketing}
I’ll be honest, I almost didn’t go.� At first I thought the invite was a request to do a giveaway on this blog and, frankly, I do enough giveaways on The Bright Side Project, ya’ dig?� But, much to my delight, there was no giveaway request in sight.� Instead, it was an invitation to learn more about their new Grow With Me toddler shoe program and tour the headquarters and labs.� Tour a lab and learn what goes into making shoes?� My nerdy little heart was a flutter.
{Pierre Andre Senizergues, Owner of etnies and former pro-skateboarder}
Since this was my first time at the rodeo, I made a couple of rookie mistakes. Namely, I wore heels and didn’t bring a digital recorder or notebook and pen for notes. The flats I regretted after 3.5 hours of standing and walking a fair distance to the lab. I didn’t beat myself up about the recorder or notebook because, let’s face it, I wasn’t at a U.N. convention discussing plans to acquire Iran’s supply of low-enriched uranium. I would like to think my memory is strong enough to remember the finer points of toddler footwear.
And, what do you know, here it is the next day and I remember much of what I learned!
The first thing I learned is actually something I already learned in kindergarten: don’t judge a book by its cover. I’ll bet if you saw this boy eating a burrito at Chipotle’s you wouldn’t assume he has a degree in bio-mechanics and kinesiology and spends his day researching and developing safer shoes for skateboarders in one of the world’s only R&D labs for skateboarding. Yeah, me either.
His presentation was actually quite interesting, and not only because I took kinesiology classes in college. I had no idea how physically demanding skateboarding was as as a sport.� I learned a professional basketball player will exert 7 times his body weight on the bones of his feet when he performs a slam dunk or other move that requires jumping, while a skateboarder exerts up to 17 times his body weight when performing tricks.� That’s an appreciable difference, yes?� On the other hand, all that pressure on the bones promotes calcium production, giving skateboarders some of the strongest bones in sports.� Oh, and my favorite quote of the day came from his presentation, too.
“When you are simply standing on your feet, you are exerting 1 times your body weight in pressure on the bones of your feet.� In my case, that would be 150 pounds.”
Le sigh.
Part of the testing they conduct requires wearing special gear that allows computers and cameras to track your movement and measure the force you exert on your body when you land on a platform sensitive enough to measure the activity of an insect.� This teen age boy was priceless.� You could tell by the look on his face he felt like a piece of fresh meat in front of a pack of hungry cougars.� I can assure you this cat was not on the hunt, and I doubt any of the other ancient 30 year-old moms were, either.� Ahem.
I also learned etnies put quite a bit of research into their toddler shoes.� It wasn’t until the very end that we learned about the Grow With Me fit system, and I have to admit they have a smart product on their hands.� Inside each of the toddler shoes (up to size 10) is a very thin, white insert under the foot bed.� When your toddler begins to outgrow the shoe you can remove that insert, adding just shy of an additional size to the shoe.� Most toddler shoes last about 3 months before the child outgrows them, but this adds an additional two months to the life of the shoe.
After a good question and answer period, everyone started taking pictures with Dan Brown and Pierre Andre Senizergues. I did not. First, I felt weird asking for a picture because, um? Most skateboarders are very thing and lanky. They’re like male waifs. They’re maifs. The thought of a picture of my short, squishy frame sandwiched in between two maifs (one of them not much taller than me) was enough to have me eating salads for a month. Secondly, the presentation lasted longer than anticipated, and I was getting perilously close to missing Mikey’s Thanksgiving play at school.
I ended up skipping the lunch. I couldn’t stand the thought of missing Mikey recite his Thanksgiving poem, so I left after we walked back to the corporate office. The entire way back I walked and talked with Pierre Andre, who was so nice. Really, a very nice guy. So nice, in fact, that I completely forgave him for weighing the same as my left thigh.
Before I left for Mikey’s school, I drove to the store (located across from the lab we walked to earlier) and quickly did some shopping with a gift certificate I received from the staff when I arrived. (I bought the boys and The Mister some shoes.) As I was heading towards my car, I bumped into Erin, this time struggling under the weight of a skateboard and a pack of waters. I smiled and gave my goodbyes as I kept walking.
And then he said, “Hey…”
I stopped and looked back at him.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
I looked at the skateboard and waters and felt my stomach start to sink.
“I was wondering…”
Oh God, please no.
“If you wouldn’t mind…”
This has to be a joke.
“Do you think you could give me a ride in your car back to the office?”
Kill me now.
“Um, I didn’t wash my car.”
“What?”
“Sure!� Climb on in!”
While he was struggling with the waters (hey, he was young and strong!) I was tossing into the back seat piano music sheets, google maps print outs, my purse, my camera, a dinosaur, and a sandwich bag of popcorn kernels.� I couldn’t reach the books and school supplies on the floorboard and didn’t have time to chuck the headband, lip glosses, gas receipts, and religious icon wooden bracelet my mom gave me because she donated money to some monks living in Uruguay.� With my face the color of a tomato, I watched Erin gingerly step around my “mommy blogger” accouterments.� Then we were off to the office, each of us saying very little as we squinted through a dirt streaked windshield.
Which brings me to the final thing I learned that day, which should be obvious.� Always wash your car before events, even if that means spraying it down with a garden hose and driving fast to dry it off.
etnies created an exclusive holiday shopping promotion for those of us who attended to share with people who read our blogs.� $10 off every $40 you spend on etnies.com plus free shipping.� The promotional code is “ETNIES FAMILY” and runs from November 17 – December 4.
Hi. I just discovered your blog a couple of weeks ago. I love it, though I am not a mommy (or attorney or wife). I find that your humor and outlook transcend the differences between us.
Just wanted to say that I live with an ex-pro-skater, and I super double promise you that Erin did not care about the state of your car. In fact, it probably gave you a little more cred.
HAHA! That’s pretty damn funny, and definitely a perspective I haven’t considered. :)
I love it! You tell such great stories, though I realize they are more then that. But great telling.
No, Kelly, I want be a great story teller and for people to feel that’s what they are reading, so that’s great! I was nervous that people would think I was selling, selling, selling etnies, when that was not my intent or the intent of the staff at etnies, either.
At least you have a reason to have a messy car. I’m single with no kids and yet it looks like I live in my car. Just a couple of days ago I found an ear of corn in the back. An ear of corn! It was all dried and shriveled. I have no idea how it got back there or how long it’s been there. I’m scared of what else is back there. After finding corn I stopped looking.
Just wanted to point out that Erin = girls’ name, Aaron = boys’ name. My daughter is named Erin. ;) Not to be a stickler or anything.
Also wanted to point out that you are a very beautiful and vibrant woman, I wish you wouldn’t joke about yourself as undesirable to a certain category of men just because you’re a mom, or in your thirties, or carrying a few extra (super juicy and voluptuous!) pounds. I’m pretty much in the same boat, and I get appreciative glances and offers for dates from thinner, younger men all the time. I realize you’re happily married and that’s not your goal, but don’t discount yourself because of what you *think* some skinny skatepunk might be thinking about you. It kind of just reinforces the false notion that as we age and our bodies and circumstances change, that we’re no longer as attractive or sexy or desirable as we were when we were 20-somethings. That’s bullsh*t. We RAWK!
The name Erin began centuries ago as a man’s name, and reflects the traditional Irish/Celtic/Gaelic spelling. Aaron is the Hebrew spelling. All of this is neither here nor there, since Erin was wearing a name tag.
What Erin/Aaron was thinking about me as a woman wasn’t really the point of this post, or my concern. It was more about me washing my car for years before events, only to have an embarrassing moment realized the one time my car is dirty. If I managed to discredit all women over 20 in the process, my bad. I see your point about reinforcing beliefs that objectify women, and I may downplay my super juicy and voluptuous man eating powers in many of my posts, but the fact remains I am a funny girl. I am loathe to miss the opportunity to write about life in a humorous fashion, even if it’s at my expense.
I do agree that we ROCK. However, since I am a stickler about spelling, I will have to agree using proper orthography. ;)
You are indeed a funny woman, sorry if I came across all snippity-doo-dah. That wasn’t my intention, but it certainly reads that way, now that I review. I never, ever, ever wash my car so that ought to tell you what sort you’re dealing with right there! :) Have a great day!
The boy’s name Erin \e-
rin\, also used as girl’s name Erin, is pronounced AIR-en. It is of Irish and Gaelic origin. Poetic name for Ireland. Today, Erin is more commonly used for girls.
Erin has 1 variant form: Eri.
For more information, see also the related name Aaron.
Baby names that sound like Erin are Arin, Eran, Eron, Erwin and Orin.
Erin is a somewhat common first name for men (#802 out of 1220) and also a somewhat common last name for both men and women (#57403 out of 88799). (1990 U.S. Census)
Snippity-doo-dah? I invented that technique! Just ask my husband and mother. ;) I knew what you meant, Lula, and you aren’t the first to point out that I poke fun at myself too much. I’m working on that. Not too hard, obviously. But, in my defense, with my stunning beauty and intellect, I feel my raging insecurity and need for approval keeps me “real.” ;)
Jules, you are soo funny. I loved the etnies trip. I am the same way, have you ever met a few of your girlfriends at one of their homes and than decide lets car pool, and they pick you as a designated driver because your car seats more people and your car is a mess? Ha !! well, and your on their street trying to get all the back seat junk into the very rear of the SUV , that would be me. I guess I have to either buy me a sports car or start to hang out with younger mommies with SUV’S. hehehe. But since I have 2 grandblessings of course I need the SUV, a car seat for 6 month old Charlie and a booster for the princess Savanna, and a load of toys in between, so I guess my point here is that its not gonna get much better anytime soon. Loads of joy they are though. Have a blessed day !!! hugs~
This sounds like a really fun “conference” of sorts, actually. And I was so embarrassingly with you for the tossing random junk into the rear of the car situation… I HATE THAT!!! I try so hard to clean my car out every single time we leave it, but, inevitably, it is always when I let my guard down that someone stops me, then my eyes go wide, and my mind is shouting, “You’ve got to be kidding me!!!”
Now, as far as etnies coming up with a cool idea for toddlers with those white inserts… pediped has been doing that for quite some time now. At least over a year and a half, I’d say. Not that it isn’t still a good idea and that a lot of other companies shouldn’t do it, too, but…
Susan–Pedi Peds does that? I had no idea! Mikey used to wear Pedi-Peds soft sole shoes, and they looked brand new when he outgrew them. I ended up having Nico wearing them, too.
Oh, and the Grow With Me program at etnies has been going on since 2006-2007. I feel I should say that, as I didn’t make that at all clear in my post. They launched it in 2006-2007, and (my opinion only) I feel they had us out there because the public doesn’t know anything about it. To be honest, I associated etnies with skaters, and had no idea they did so much R&D or had a toddler/infant brand.
Hmmm… Maybe etnies did have the idea originally, then. I don’t know. I only used to use Pediped’s baby shoes (with the soft soles which don’t come with the extra inserts), until my second son started needing bigger shoes and they invented their awesome toddler shoes (which do have the inserts). ANYWAY. That’s what I get for trying to sound like I know something – DOH!
Well, unless you have mind reading powers or were at that conference, how would you know? To be honest, one of the developers said the product launch 9 months ago, and the VP of Marketing was all, “Uh, Bob? We launch Grow With Me in 2007.” So, yeah. I think this is a chicken-egg-who-came-first thing.
More importantly, how about all the inky blue clothing in stores right now? I love it! :)
Jules, I just have to say… you are so cool! I read about your fun trip while stuck in an office sorting out other people’s problems. I’m a little green with envy. However, I will say that Etines had a great idea by inviting the “mommy bloggers” out, as I will certainly be checking out their toddler shoes. Thanks for posting the info.
You are too funny. And I love that I can “chat” with you via comments (you’re even faster than Brooke, I think! Ha ha ha). It’s like text messaging a friend or something :O) Have a good day!
Maifs! That’s great.
What a fun event! I hope the boys and your husband enjoy their new shoes. My son had the crib shoe etnies when he was first born – adorable. I will have to check out the toddler shoes.
true story: prior to my preppy phase (which may or may not still be going on) during the last years of high school I was pure emo/skater/girly punk (pink hair and all), which of course meant wearing huge navy blue etnies. They were my statement piece and surprisingly accounted for me nabbing not one, but TWO, extremely preppy high school boyfriends (“uh hey….cool shoes….”). So I LOVE that you spent the day wandering around their lab – VERY cool.
p.s. I’m sure Erin’s beatup late 90s Toyota Camry has a) never been washed since he bought it and b)has a front seat full of empty red bull cans and old bearings so no reason for dirty car shame.
You can officially add , ‘reporter’ to your repetoire. A ‘maif’? If you don’t go to Urban dictionary right this sec…
Fantastic. This is hilarious!
Hi Jules
I am the misspelled “Erin” who your readers seem to be buzzing about. (I’m semi famous..Yay!!!) anyways. The spelling of my name isn’t of important to me in this sense, it kind of acts as a ‘pen name,” like some writers have ;) I 1st must say that i throughly enjoy reading your posts, they are both entertaining and captivating. And secondly, while i do have an early 00’s Camry that has been washed since i bought it, both inside and out and has a backseat full of gatorade and water bottles; i would like to point out that i myself am a parent and understand how and why the car gets and stays messy. But on the other hand, I am “cool” (term used very loosely) college student, who still likes to drive around with his friends and hang out at the spot of the week; this is the reason why my car is somewhat clean.
Please do not feel bad for having a “messy” car. I appreciated the ride back. All I noticed was the very friendly, attractive “mommy blogger” who was kind enough to give me a ride back to the building. and i thank you for that.
Aaron! :) Glad to know how you spell your name. And, now that I am the color of a tomato, I am off to put my children to bed and lay in oncoming traffic…
Oh my – I was waiting for Aaron to weigh in on the ever-burgeoning messy-car debacle! Love the blog…and the antics. You commented on the long-haired kinesiologist/biomechanic, too funny that Erin (oops, I mean, Aaron) completely surprised me by being a daddy (and owning a Camry). Kudos to you both!
My first name is Erin; I was named such because my mom is from Ireland but hardly anybody in Ireland actually names their kid Erin and my dad is American so they thought it was a nice homage to my half-Irish heritage; and I once lived in an apartment on Erin Lane and I now live on Cloverfield which isn’t the same thing but it certainly sounds Irish, especially since the cross street is Leprechaun Lane (no joke).
Dramatic pause.
My car is often a biohazard thanks to my toddler. I finally bit the bullet and cleaned it a couple weeks ago, and actually found a dehydrated half-eaten apple under the passenger seat. So I think you’re doing pretty good with tacky religious iconography and sheet music.
Good god this was entertaining to read. Your post and all of the comments. We should a create a “We love Aaron” fan club to keep his chest pumped up a little longer. I am definately going to check out the shoes as I have a 2 year old and 12 and 10 year olds.
And Jules, let’s just get it out there right now….re: Twilight…I am unapologetically on “Team Jacob”.
Okay, that is weird. Look what I just tweeted and you’ll see what I mean. As I tweeted, your comment came through…
This has been so hilarious to read and follow. I love your self deprecating humour Jules! I nearly fell off my chair laughing (and empathising).
Ahahahaha!!!!! MAIF!!! I love it, but “twords” are my thing. (Tword being a term my husband coined, a few years ago, meaning two words smushed together. Like Male and Waif.) And just a word of warning, once you start twording, you can’t stop.
Etnies is definitely one of the envies of the ASI. Not only are the innovators and environmentally minded but they throw some awesome contests/parties. I’ve worked for several action sports brands and I agree with you about most boys(yes, boys these guys never grow up) being twigs, but that’s part of the gig. If you’re in the industry you’re usually involved with one of the sports all which are killer work outs. Of course, this doesn’t make you feel any better when you’re suffering from period bloat and eating salad so you can look killer in your holiday party dress and the boys you work with return from IN-N-OUT with double doubles, fries, and shakes and then innocently ask if you would like some. It takes extreme effort to not 1) bite their heads off for not understanding PMS or 2) dive head first into that double double pretending you’re one of the guys and won’t gain an ounce from this meal. All I can say is at least you didn’t have to hang out with the female employees. They tend to be just as thin, young, and naturally pretty, because heavy day make up really doesn’t vibe with the carefree lifestyle being promoted.
So…chiming in here from one of the female n0n-waifs of the company, unlike my super skinny lady colleauges (btw: the maifs comment was classic)! Anyway, since there were questions about the footwear, I thought I would clarify. There are a small handful of kids focused footwear brands who do provide similar technology to the etnies Grow with Me Fit System. We began development on it in 2007 and launched in 2008 to retailers. We do know that we are the first action sports footwear company to launch a toddler specific fit system and have seen incredible response because of the need in the market for better fitting toddler shoes designed for their developing feet.
On one more note – Aaron sits right next to my desk and I have to say ladies – he LOVES the attention. :)