Much can happen while you are putting away laundry, and it’s never a good sign when you call poison control before 10:00am. Of course, my day started hours earlier when Nicholas started chirping away in his crib at 6:00 am this morning, a solid 1.5-2 hours ahead of schedule. I looked at the Mister and said, “Today is going to be a bitch.”
I should buy lotto tickets.
As expected, Nicholas has been a bear all day. Crying, refusing to eat, crying, wanting to eat, crying, not liking what I offered to eat, crying, still wanting to eat, and did I mention crying? I made the mistake of giving him the box of cereal to play with while I got him a bowl; he promptly emptied the box onto the floor.
He climbed the beds and tried to take apart the blinds to see how they worked.
He brushed his teeth for 45 minutes.
He colored at the table, but then got frustrated and swept everything to the floor.
He pulled a stool out of the bathroom for the sole purpose of dancing atop it in the middle of the kitchen.
He took the stop out of the third bathroom sink.
He tossed all the soap dishes in the sink.
He opened the refrigerator repeatedly, hoping to find something appetizing.
He climbed onto the dining room table and started chewing on the fake apples.
I was pulling him off the table (and only barely yelling at the top of my voice) when Mikey came up to me talking around an open mouth quickly collecting saliva.
Mikey: “Mu. I neh wa-uh.”
Jules: “What? What’s wrong with your mouth?
Mikey: “Wa-uh!” pointing furiously at his mouth.
Jules: “Water? You need water? Why? Did you eat something?”
Mikey: “Uh-huh. Eeese.”
Jules: “Cheese?” I did have some gruyere in the fridge.
Mikey: “No, EEESE.”
Jules: “Okay, I can’t understand you,” I said walking towards the cabinet with the glasses. “Let’s get you some water and…MIKEY! IS THIS WHAT YOU ATE?!”
Mikey: “Yeah. Eeese.”
Jules: “Mikey, THESE ARE NOT SEEDS!”
I spent the next five minutes instructing Mikey on how to rinse out his mouth with water. I tried to teach him how to swish, but he couldn’t get the hang of it so he shook his head from left to right. Effectiveness Rate: Absolutely None. One thousand raw lentil pieces later, Mikey looked at me calmly and asked for real seeds. I said no.
I called the pediatrician, who referred me to poison control. I explained the entire situation, and how Mikey mistook a bag of lentils for the seeds I often given him with nuts and raisins to snack on.
“That’s what I get for trying to raise a health nut,” {pause for chuckles from Poison Control operator.}
Still waiting.
After a brief time on hold we got the all clear. I decided staying in the house one minute longer would surely be dangerous for all of us (mainly because I was going to kill them), so I packed up the boys and went to the bookstore and then lunch, whereupon I realized one of those life truths you only realize after hitting bottom.
Everything is better with books and ketchup.
Oh my! I’ve completely had days like this. In fact, I’ve had to call poison control at least 3 if not 4 times about the middle boy. I’m surprised they haven’t sent someone out to “check” on us, LOL. Hope the day got a little better after the outting :)
Oh my! I’ve completely had days like this. In fact, I’ve had to call poison control at least 3 if not 4 times about the middle boy. I’m surprised they haven’t sent someone out to “check” on us, LOL. Hope the day got a little better after the outting :)
Amen sister! But, if I’m to be honest, you’re scaring the crap out of me! Baby #2, a BOY, is quickly on the way and I already have the 4 year old covered.
Boys, gotta love ’em. They certainly do keep our lives exciting. Oh look, as I type Riley is stripping off all of his clothes….AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh that’s funny! I wouldn’t of even thought to call poison control can one get sick from eating raw lentils? And what are you giving the boy if he’s thinking raw lentils are edible? LOL! I loved the visual of Nico dancing on the stool in the middle of the kitchen and trying to eat the fake apples AND brushing his teethe for 45 minutes! Never a dull moment, glad I had a chance to pop in:)
Ha! You can’t get sick from raw lentils, it turns out. I didn’t think of calling poison control until the pediatrician told me to, and then I felt like the worst mom of the year because I know green potatoes can get you sick.
Mainehappymama–Nico can take off his diaper when he is wearing a zippered, footy pajama. I’ll find the diaper wrapped around his calve. O_O
My girls do that too! Payton will be walking like she just got off a horse and I’ll find her diaper down one leg of her jammies. Amazing isn’t it?
I must admit, your day did make me laugh. I’ve been there and it sucks, but it’s oh so amusing a few days later. Give it time.
;)
Oh geesh. My nephew once ate a big bowl of cherries after deciding it was too much trouble to spit out the seeds. He was stopped up so badly he had to go to the hospital to be, well, I don’t remember what they did to him(30 years ago) but it was ugly.
OMG, the visuals are killing me! What the heck is it with boys? Mine drove me to near tears today (and they weren’t of joy!) with all of the things he could think of to drive me crazy. Ok, tomorrow is another day…
Oh my God! Maybe I should re-think children. If that had happened to me I probably would have just drove away and left them home alone. You’re a really good mom!
Wow, I called that wrong. I was going to say that it sounded like someone’s getting a new tooth because my children were ASSHOLES when that happened.
I would expect that YOU should expect some major craps coming up, no?
Uggh, good call leaving the house. At the store a couple of days ago, I was pretty busy and Troy was supposed to be asleep in the back in his play yard. I went in to check on him and he had taken off his pants, his diaper, his socks and was happily playing in his own pee. It was everywhere.