Mikey is the boy who greets everyone with a hug–whether they want one, or not.
Mikey is the little boy who brings dinosaurs to school to show his principal the difference between an Apatosaurus, a Tyranasaurus Rex, and a Spinosaurus. Then he’ll tell her how they lived in Center America and that’s where paleontologists can find their fossils.
Mikey is the little boy who knows the alphabet, can count forwards and backwards, and does simple addition and subtraction.
Mikey is also the little boy teachers are suggesting needs a third year of preschool. For all that academic heft, he’s a bit of a rascal. He is, as they say, immature for his age. He doesn’t sit still during reading circle time, loves to wrestle and put out imaginary fires, and if it wasn’t for his ability to hear the theme song to Lazy Town in the shower while the T.V. is set to mute, I would assume he is deaf. By the way, Lazy Town? Freakiest show ever.
Every afternoon I pick him up and ask his teacher how he did. And every afternoon she says, “He’s working on it!” Translation: you’re lucky your kid is cute and friendly.
Last year, Mikey did better as the year progressed. By the time the school year ended, his listening skills were much improved–enough so that I had high hopes for this year. Right now, they are all but dashed. I’m at a bit of a loss. He doesn’t have any problems listening at home. He behaves very well, minus a few typical 4 year old transgressions, and doesn’t give me half the problems I hear and see my friends experiencing with their own kids. There is just something that happens to Mikey when he gets around a group of kids that makes him, literally, devolve into some quasi-hominid.
I explained all of this to his teacher on Friday. She suggested I cut out most of his T.V. time and encourage him to play cards, board games, puzzles, etc. Sounds easy enough. She then suggested I tire him out by playing outside and going on bike rides. Again, that sounds easy enough. Then she suggested that maybe, just maybe, he needs to be around more kids his age. You know, so he can learn what is appropriate behavior (i.e., quit hugging everyone), not get so excited every time he sees someone his size, and basically chill out when among his peers. She suggested we socialize. That didn’t sound easy at all.
The Mister and I, we’re home people. As I have mentioned before, we don’t like big parties or crowds or organized clubs. We don’t even watch reality T.V.–that’s how averse we are to people we don’t know.
Mikey, on the other hand, loves to be around people. He greets strangers with a handshake and a smile. “Hi! My name is Mikey K. and I love dinosaurs.” He will play with anyone and lights up whenever he sees other children. He really is a people person.
So, on Friday, as I watched him run around the room with Benjamin putting out imaginary fires and then later hold Brooke’s hand while her mom and I walked towards our parked cars, I thought to myself that if Mikey needs to socialize and be around more kids, so be it. If he is happy, I am happy. And that’s when I realized they weren’t lying when they said there isn’t much a mom won’t do for her child.
I understand the aversion to socializing your child, MORE than what you already think you do. My husband and I too are home bodies, probably due to apartment living for quite a while in the beginning of our marriage and then buying a house a couple years ago when our daughter was 2. She too is a real sociable kid, but almost too social. She plays now with two little girls just down the street and whenever she comes home, she is a real well, I’ll just say discipline case. We are distraught over this, because she almost takes on their mannerisms and physical movements to mimic their bad behavior. I know this, because when she comes home, she acts and talks like a person I’ve never met. It’s almost bizarre. Sorry, went on a tangent. What I’m saying is, with little to no child related socializing in earlier years, when she gets around other kids, it’s like she doesn’t know how to act, a little too willing to do whatever someone would ask her and obviously that scares the bejesus out of my husband and myself. On the other hand, she’s spent so much time with her grandma that she could probably talk your ear off about politics or the latest trial on court tv. UGH!
Awww, Jules. I think he’ll be just fine! My little dude is only about 2-1/2 and he does what we call the “frozen statue” move whenever he meets someone new or hasn’t seen in a couple of weeks. It cracks us up!
I think you both are going to have a wonderful time! Oh, and Happy Monday!
At least yours shakes hands- my 4.5 year old will hug anyone and everyone, and sometimes kiss them (pretty much anywhere, luckily not butts). We’re working on the “we only hug family, kiss on the cheek”.
I got the same thing last year too- about the not listening, being a little immature, but super smart(and the feeling that I’m lucky my kid is so cute, as well). But by the end of the year, he was doing great, the teachers LOVED him and he’s doing well this year so far. Sometimes it just takes a little time to get back into the swing of it- and he will :) Now, if I could only get him to listen to me…
But I have to disagree about Lazy Town- I think Yo Gabba Gabba is freakin’ freaky!
Your son sounds a lot like my daughter. Excitable, sociable and with maybe the tiniest bit shorter than average attention span/patience. Congrats on getting out of your comfort zone for your son. It’s amazing what we’ll do for them!
BTW, my 4 year-old daughter gets scared watching Lazy Town because of the guy with the black hair.
http://www.bethsfavouritethings.blogspot.com
Brooke, I think Mikey can recognize all the newscasters on Fox News thanks to my mom.
Hi Cathe, thanks for the support!
Carrie (That’s you, right?) I think Yo Gabba Gabba is freaky, too! They’re all weird. But the opening song for Lazy Town is a few techno beats and some whistles and glow sticks away from being something you’d hear in an LA dance club. O_O
Beth, I get scared watching the dark haired guy on Lazy Town.
Hey there! I just found your blog through Becoming Mom and was hooked in by this post! I am a first grade teacher and I love your translation of ‘he’s working on it’. Everyone is made differently – He’ll probably grow up to be a teacher!
I CAN NOT watch Lazy Town or Yo Gabba Gabba….they both freak me out and drive me crazy. As a former preschool teacher I do think your traslation of “he’s working on it” is close. I has kids like that all the time….not being able to sit through circle does not mean he will not do well later in life….nor does it mean a 3rd yr. of preschool is needed IMO.
Sheesh, it’s only the beginning of the year! He could totally change by the end.
Okay, I’m confused. I waited until my daughter was almost 4.5 to send her to preschool. Do you know how many times I heard that school is good for socialization? And that I was a freak for not putting her in school?
Isn’t that what preschool is for?
Personally, I think the teachers are jumping the gun!
By the way, Lazy Town IS freakishly weird! I was afraid to turn the sound on, but the visual itself is a bit high on Kool-aid!
Emily & Colleen, so glad to hear my interpretation is pretty close. :) I'm also glad to hear you both think this is something he'll grow out of!
Lisa, Mikey only goes to preschool 3 days a week, and other than that he doesn't spend time with kids his own age. The kids on our street are older, and he doesn't have any cousins his age, either.
I just got back from my first MOM'S Club meeting. Mikey played for 2.5 hours with some kids, and when I just suggested a nap he seemed to think it was a great idea. Zowza!
I COMPLETELY understand being a homebody! My goodness, going out into the world for your child, you ARE a super mom…He’s adorable, I need a Mikey hug:)
Jules, Don’t let the idea of holding Mickey back for a year of Maturing. We had to do that to his uncle and I think in the long run it worked well for him. I was the youngest in my class all thru school and wish I wasn’t. Especially in middle and High school, (the maturity really catches up fast) anyway just a few thoughts. I would certainly listen to the recommendations his teacher makes since he/she see’s him in a very different light than “Mom” does. signing out – Mister’s Dad.
Awww, thanks Mister’s Dad. :)
With a Nov 30th birthday, I was always THE youngest in my class. I was 17 when I was a freshman in college! I know how that goes, too. Thanks so much for the advice. It’s greatly appreciated. :)
Jules-I know it must be disheartening to hear that your wonderful little boy might end up needing more time in pre-school. But, think of it this way, one more year before he has to “grow up” totally. One more year that he can be a little guy and adjust. One more year to learn and be ready! Just some thoughts you can hold on to. Maybe God gave you Mikey (the social one) to get you and the Mister out of your comfort zones??
It will be best for him. Also, you might check out your local library-children’s section. They sometimes have story hour, where the kids listen to stories, maybe do a craft or puzzle and mom’s can go check out books. My kids all went to it, especially when my then 3 year old son (middle child) was a little socially immature. Trouble is, he still is.
He’s 28.
Anyways, that takes some heat off of you to socialize (and Hey, YOU CAN READ!)