I really don’t care much about my hair. If it weren’t for the fact that I am 75% gray prematurely, I doubt I would get it cut and colored regularly. My eyebrows, on the other hand, are an entirely different matter. Every other week, without fail, I’m at the salon waxing down the beasts. Today was no different, except for the fact I walked out of the salon looking like this:
I even have the same suicidal expression. Oh, wait. No I don’t. I look permanently stunned. My eyebrows are so arched I look like someone is repeatedly biting my ankles. I know I’m not crazy. My best-friend-ever Kara came over to drop off a birthday present for Nico and after she got over the initial shock of seeing so much of my eye sockets exposed to fresh air, all she could stammer was, “They’re…they’re…they’re not even the same size! One is crooked and really thin and the other is…really, really thin.” In other words, they look like crap.
I knew the second the girl ripped the wax off my face that they were going to be too thin. It was one of those now that didn’t feel right moments. One brief, terrifying look in the mirror and my worst fears were confirmed. Early 90s Drew Barrymore brows. What did I do after I was confronted with such horror? I smiled and tipped the girl 20%, naturally. Petunia Face would understand.
Oh dear!! That’s one of my biggest fears. Is it wrong that I want to see pics?? At least they grow back quickly.
oh jules you are too too funny!! Hopefully they will work themselves out?? I hope! Let me guess… this isn’t your favorite moment ;)
Oh I hate that!
I like my eyebrows to be cleaned up, not a hair wide. And the worst part, they hand you the mirror and ask what you think. What are you supposed to say? THEY LOOK LIKE CRAP. Its too late now. A month of horrible eyebrowness. So I lie and tell the girl they look great. Maybe if we all spoke up for our eyebrows they’d get a hint?
And yes, i always ended up tipping 20%.
As someone who has catepillar eyebrows I can totally relate to this. I clench the arms of the chair while it is being done and the person always says to me, “It doesn’t hurt that bad.” She doesn’t understand I am clenching them because I’m afraid that my life will drastically change in the next few seconds. One wrong move by her and it’s all over.
I’m with mainehappymama…is it wrong that we want to see pictures?
She doesn’t understand I am clenching them because I’m afraid that my life will drastically change in the next few seconds. One wrong move by her and it’s all over.
That was pretty damn funny. So glad to see I am not the only one obsessed with my eyebrows. I think it’s something that happens when you grow up looking like Bert from Sesame Street.
Err… Grammar check! I’m not the only one obsessed with their eyebrows. I doubt you all are obsessed with my eyebrows. Although if you want to see pictures…
As always, you have me in stitches my dear friend. I don’t even know what to say other than you have had really good luck with your eyes, maybe it is a statistical bullet? I’m here for you girl!
Oh no! “Early 90s Drew Barrymore brows.” Perfect reference though � made me laugh.
Nice grammar check too.
Pictures!
You are hilarious…. I’m so sorry to hear about this tragic event. Growing up with the Italian ‘unibrow’, I can certainly relate to the importance of keeping up with the brows and keeping them separate. I, however, stick to doing it myself with my handy dandy tweezers.
They WILL grow back, they will grow back….
It’s almost as amusing reading the comments as your posts… Ah, I’m sorry that sucks ’bout the brows, try that eyelash stuff I’ve been hocking (the Revitlash) it works on eyebrows too, you’ll have catepillars on your forehead by the a.m.
I also think Anastasia the brow queen makes special eyebrow growth serum, you may have to mortgage your house but these are your eyebrows we are talking about…
I just spent FAR too long reading the last gagillion blog entries. (You, my dear, are an excellent blogger!) For some reason I didn’t have you on my bloglines (I could SWEAR I added you!) and I’m much too lazy to read blogs not on my bloglines. Then today, out of nowhere– I was actually at Target– I thought, “what was the name of her blog again??? Pickles and ice cream?? WAffles and ketchup? OH!! yes, pancakes and french fries…I need to check up on that sweet friend.” So I pop on over, and here you are, blogging like mad and making us all (ME, especially!) look like slackers. :) I’ve loved reading every last blogged-about minute of your life and have DEFINITELY added you to my bloglines. Hope you’re well, Miss J. And gosh, I HATE waxing mishaps too!
Aieee! To go through the pain, only to … look as if you’ve been through the pain… No fair! And the smiling tip: priceless.
Pictures, please!
PS I would say I bet it isn’t bad as you think, but your girlfriend destroyed that scrap of comfort.
I wish I had your gift to tell stories. You’re so funny. Sorry about the eyebrows though – yikes!
Yes, I do understand. Both from my own Supercuts haircut mishap and from my own self-mutilation of my brows. It’s just so addictive. I mean, if I look better without that stray brow right there, then why wouldn’t I look fabulous without that one? and then one right there? Suddenly I too look perennially surprised at what life has to offer.
From one guilty tipper to another: it’ll grow!
Get your eyebrows threaded instead of waxed. It’s much more precise.
Pig-Town: I used to get my eyebrows threaded and I loved it. I forgot all about my precious Amita until you mentioned threading! I drove 30 minutes to go to her and she never failed me. I got pregnant, nauseous, and lazy and found someone local (who subsequently screwed them up). I think it’s time to rethink making the drive for good brows.
Thanks for all the commiserating everybody! So glad to know I’m not alone in my beauty mishaps.
P-thanks for the compliment. It means a lot, especially coming from someone so talented. :)