Screw you.
You are hereby given notice that the undersigned is terminating your tenancy of the premises located at front hairline, where you are a tenant from month to month under the lease dated January 01, 1992 between Jules as unwilling landlord and Nasty-Ass-Gray-Hair as tenant. This termination is to be effective on December 14, 2007. You must continue to make landlord suffer mercilessly until this date.
You are required to vacate and surrender possession of the premises to the undersigned on or before the above date, free of all occupants and personal possessions, e.g., grotesque two inch baby hairs and maroon spots of faded color. Upon termination, the security deposit in the amount of $100.00, or any remaining balance, will be used to repair any damage to the premises and ego and otherwise applied according to law.
If you fail to vacate the premises by the above date, the undersigned may commence eviction proceedings against you and/or exercise other available rights and remedies under the law. Landlord is willing and able to use any and all coloring techniques to ensure your timely demise.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation, bitch.
Very truly yours,
Jules
Landlord
Thoughts?
Anne says
I had premature gray from the tender age of 8 so now it’s not a shocking thing for me. Weird thing is, my strands of gray turn back to black sometimes.
A friend tells me there’s something that your stylist can add to the color to make the color hold better on the gray. A small vile of something…I can’t remember. I find the memory loss a bit more inconvenient for sure.
carebear7951 says
LOL at the lawyer-speak! I think you should speak plain english if you want the gray to vacate! Hee hee! (See why I can’t deal with warranties and leases, etc?? I don’t understand them!) Good luck. My horrible color job that I did…you can still see some of my grays! That was the whole point of highlighting–to camouflage them!!! Grrr!!!
Kara says
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We need to learn how to color hair, so we can do each others and save on $$$. It can’t be that hard.
Let me try it on you first? hee, hee…..
XOXO-Kara
“May you live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live.”
-Irish blessing
Cathe says
OMG, Jules! You crack me up! Those nasty grey hair started to sneak up on me too since my [ahem] 35th birthday and when I spotted the first one, I looked on in horror as it danced around while I was chasing it with a pair of tweezers desperately trying to pluck it out.
Nasty grey hair… Go away, go away!!!!!!
patricia says
Oh the gray hair battle. So far mine is spread out here and there so it hides amongst my curls. I don’t know what I’ll do when it gets worse because I’ve never colored my hair and frankly I don’t want to be a slave to that. I totally feel your pain.
See I knew it. It’s all in the great writing. :)
APlanet4Creation says
I’ve had white hair since I was 12. Yes, white! Now it was just a few strands there (by the way, I’m older then you). This year I gave up since I was only dying my hair yearly (looking like a weird skunk the rest of the year). I’ve accepted the grey since I’ll be 40 soon. It cost me like $300 to get it dye once (I have lots of hair so they have to use at least 2 bottles of dye). I can spend that $300 on something else!
Jules says
Well hello there, ladies! Blogger didn’t tell me I had comments!!
Anne, you beat me with the gray hair since the age of 8! But I just noticed the most glaring typo in my post. Gray hair since 2004?! I wish! I’ll be generous and say 1992 is when I first “had” to color my hair. Yikes!! Oh, and the last time (3 weeks ago) she put in some secret ingredient that is supposedly for 100% coverage. No such luck. It keeps washing out!
Cara–yep, I figured I’d use that law degree somehow, even if it’s only for a chuckle. :)
Kara–You first! It can’t be that hard? famous last words
Cathe–that made me laugh out loud! Those gray hairs…it’s like they have evil spirits in them!
Patricia–Thanks! I wish mine were spread out, but, alas, they are all in front and now spread out along the part. I really can’t believe how much gray I have!
Jules says
AP4C–oops! We were posting at the same time. That’s my problem, too. I have really thick hair and it’s expensive to cover it all up! I give you credit, though. I’m not brave enough, yet, to embrace the gray.
Carey says
I’ve had gray hair since 16- never though about trying to evict it, LOL.
I dye mine own- but it’s shorter than shoulder length, so it’s not so bad.
Jules says
Carey– I tried dying it once. In the words of my husband, it was “a definite failure.” lol
Mrs. Fudala says
I feel your pain — I can’t dye my hair because of allergies. They developed over the last few years. Two weeks before I was to start my teaching job I went to the salon and got a great color. Well…24 hours later I looked like the elephant woman. It was frightening. I haven’t tried since — I just pluck them out. But I will be going bald at this rate.
What to do? What to do?
Jules says
I have to say, I think an allergy is worse the color resistance. Scary stuff!