Day 114 of walking

The comments on yesterday’s post (as well as the messages I received on Facebook and by email) were so inspiring that I went on a walk tonight. I got home just as the sun was setting, which I could use as a metaphor if I had any assurances the spirits of Strunk & White wouldn’t haunt me. I’m {this} close to abandoning dieting for good.

Six more weeks until school gets out! I’m so excited. I have so many books that I want to read! In fact, every day I find a new book that I want to read! Take yesterday, for example. I was looking for my book club’s next pick, which I knew I safely placed in 1 of 3 to-be-read stacks. Going through the stack I found another book I vaguely remember buying after a quasi-inspiring talk on approaching students like unique individuals instead of teaching to the average. I bought it because the talksounded suspiciously like How to Activate Your Student’sSpecial Snowflake Powers, to which I’m usually opposed, but I’m nothing if not open to a new perspective. Now that I remember owning the book, I’ll have to see if all the hype it received at the conference was valid!

Day 109-113 of walking

One desolate picture, just like my soul.

I’m sure it hasn’t escaped notice that my walks are not as consistent as they once were. The fact is I started that CEA HOW meal plan about a month ago, and since then I don’t have the energy to do much more than scowl. I’m also feeling bitter/sad/and extremely skeptical of the meal plan. There are too many off-limit foods that are perfectly healthy (nuts, olives, starchy vegetables) in addition to the no-sugar/no-flour edict. I found myself doing what I always do: drinking way too much caffeine and sugar free drinks.

It occurred to me yesterday that this lifestyle wasn’t for me when I flipped out after the Mister ate one of my hard boiled eggs for the second day in a row.

“You can eat anything in this kitchen at any time! Why are you constantly going after my hard boiled eggs?”

(“Going after,” like he’s lying in wait, plotting all sorts of unspeakable activity with my boiled eggs. “Constantly,” like two days is all you need to establish a pattern of behavior.)

I was like an angry, hormonal goose over a hard-boiled egg. I don’t even like hard-boiled eggs! I had them in my meal plan for the day and the thought of making more eggs felt like too much to ask.

On Facebook and Twitter I asked for some ideas on how to handle food. The only consensus was that there is no consensus.

I don’t know where I go from here. I don’t believe there is a meal plan or diet that works. I think it goes much deeper than what we eat. It’s how we eat, which means I need to learn how to approach food in a healthy, intuitive way. I don’t know how to do that, or if I can. All I know is that I lost almost 11 pounds this month, and it was not worth it.

Day 102-108 of walking

To be clear, buffet etiquette exists. There may even be Buffet Etiquette, but I’m not sure. I do know that when you eat at a buffet, there are certain things you must do to avoid the baleful glare of the rest of us who are not animals.

The wise person goes into holiday buffeting with honesty. If you are at a club buffet on a holiday, you share common goals with everyone else in attendance. You are there to eat without cooking; admire without cleaning; and keep children happy without having to provide the entertainment. These goals are established and true. Do not kid yourself! This is not Downton Abbey or East Egg.

The wise person also goes into holiday buffeting with patience. Wise people will encounter those who like to hover over chafing dishes and debate whether it is potato or squash casserole (“It definitely has cheese…”) and then take all the shrimp.

The wise person also goes into holiday buffeting with charity. Some people really like tomatoes in their salad! Allow them to take all the tomatoes out of the bowl of mixed salad and leave behind crushed lettuce. They need the tomatoes more than the wise person.

I am not a wise person.

Nor am I a patient person.

Or a particularly charitable person.

Come to think of it, maybe I am not a person. Maybe I am a giant gavel that occasionally strikes the bench and makes sweeping pronouncements like, “Out of order! You suck, as does the fact you did not replace the lids on the 14 chafing dishes from which you scavenged. May God have mercy on your soul.”

 

Day 101 of walking

My walks have been lacking good music. I remember discoveringall these amazing songs when I was walking daily a few years ago. How did I do that? I used Pandora originally, but switched to Spotify. I was never short of a good song, which usually lead to an even better playlist. Not so this time around. Please share anyplaylist you want to recommend! I’m a fan of pretty much all music, though I listen to inspirational the least because to my ears it all sounds the same.

Day 100 of walking

We are a people without faith and a healthy fear of God. Within the span of days we engaged in chemical warfare, missile retaliation, and a bombing during a Palm Sunday service. Then, today, a man walked into his wife’s special education classroom and killed her with a handgun before before turning the gun onhimself. Two children were injured during the shootout and a third one, eight years old, died from his injuries. What the hell are we doing?

People are often surprised to hear I’m Catholic. Faith and education, I’ve been told, don’t go hand-in-hand, especially not with a faith like Catholicism*. One of my closest friends (formerly Catholic, now atheist) told me she couldn’t believe someone as intelligent as I am still believed in fairy tales. Well, I do.

My belief isn’t easily acquired. I don’t walk around feeling #soblessed when my favorite song Christian pop song comes on, and not just because contemporary inspirational music makes me want to stuff my ears with bales of cotton. I’m naturally cynical, judgmental, and opinionated. I can be demanding and unforgiving and selfish. I am all the qualities, and more, that one doesn’t (or shouldn’t) associate with Christianity. In short, my faith is a choice. I choose to believe in God, and by choosing to do so in the absence of logic, He provides me confirmation every now and then that my faith isn’t misplaced. (Fitting, since I’m always right.)

 

* This sort of statement outs the person as one who has never tried to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church, a pope encyclical, any of the church fathers, apostolic letters, or anything else published on the Vatican website. Funny enough, this year I started educating myself more on Catholic doctrine. It’s been a natural search for more, not prompted by one of my famous personal challenges. It started with that demon book and moved on to How to Read Your Way into Heaven. The book title is ridiculous, but the content is great. It’s worth it for just the reading plan and book lists inside. The books I’ve read have all been excellent and, though it might pain Intellectualists everywhere, the more I educate myself on Catholic doctrine, the more I believe.

 

 

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