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Yesterday I showed to the Mister this picture of a china cabinet that inspired in me a radical idea. Let me start at the beginning.
I love a clean home. I just don’t love dirtying my hands making it clean. There are a million other things I would rather do. Usually, I do them. My mother-in-law, Grandma Fern (the Mister’s most awesome grandma–Hi Fern!!), neighbors, friends, and my mom are always quick to point out that the house is far from filthy. It just looks like two very young boys live there. ;) My perfectionist nature fights their logic. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed at the impossibility of keeping it perfect that I wind up doing nothing. Not good.
So I’ve been reading up on organization and simplicity and maintaining a peaceful environment. There is a common theme with everything I’ve read. We, the dishelved, all have too much crap. Gadgets, gizmos, and gimmicks bust from our drawers and clutter our homes and minds, and according to everyone the first step is releasing from your environment everything you don’t love or need. Since coming back from vacation, I’ve been trying to purge what I can. I gave to Goodwill 95% of my closet. Next up, all the furniture that is taking up real estate in our garage.
Back to the china cabinet. It got me thinking about dishes and how much I hate to do them. We have a service for 10, and our usual routine is to pre-wash and rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher for a final clean. As you can imagine, we put off running the dishwasher until just before we run out of clean dishes. Then we have to unload a full dishwasher. What a boring waste of time.
We had already planned to replace our dishes this year, but what if, I asked the Mister, we replaced our dishes with a simple service for four? We are a family of four, after all. The caveat: we would have no choice but to keep up on our dishes. No more dishwasher full of plates and glasses waiting for the last minute. If we use it, we clean it. Otherwise, we don’t have anything to eat off. As luck would have it, it is easier to clean 4 dishes through out the day versus 10 all at once. The bonus is the service that once took up two-and-a-half cabinets in my kitchen will now fit on one, maybe two shelves. No more bulging cabinets.
I haven’t forgotten about guests. First of all, we’re anti-social. We never have people over. But in the event we do, that’s where the china cabinet comes in. In that I will store china, glassware, and linens for our guests. I can store artfully what we use only on occasion. Perfect.
I already have a china cabinet. It’s just a cheap old thing, but I’m going to try prettying it up. I plan on working on it in August, so I’ll be sure to post befores and afters.
So what do you think? Am I crazy? Have you done something similar, and did it work? I curious to know if I am the only one who feels weighed down by their possessions.
Did you see Nicole’s Style: June ’08 post? I’ve gone back to it several times already to look at all the items featured.
- My BFF, Kara, and I have wanted a crystalyn kae bag for over a year now.
- I’ve wanted a Manic Trout necklace for over a year, as well.
- The shoes are just plain charming. You don’t walk in those shoes; you mince.
- The skirt is unapologetically Scandinavian, and while I am not Western European, I’m still drawn to the pattern and color combination.
But when I first saw the style board I was disappointed and immediately thought it was nothing I could ever wear. The heels are delicate and not meant for running after a preschooler and toddler. I look best in skirts, but I avoid them because it makes bending over for strewn items in public risky. The bag has fabric panels that don’t always go with everything, and I don’t often have time to change out my purse. The necklace, too, is brass and my wedding set is platinum (I always feel awkward about mixing metals). But really? The real reason I thought the outfit wouldn’t work is because it’s too young and free for a stay-at-home-mom like me.
And then it occurred to me that I could not possibly be more uptight.
When did moms develop the uniform from which we rarely deviate? Jeans, yoga pants, t-shirts, hoodies, semi-stylish sneakers, and, of course, the ubiquitous ponytail. To lend polish to the outfit? A Coach bag, naturally. It’s all so safe it’s suffocating.
There are some moms who look outside the wardrobe of domesticity, but they veer down an equally disturbing path. I call them RockStar Momz. They showcase their fake boobs with lowcut wife-beater tank tops and have name brands dancing across their pilates-toned asses in rhinestones. Their hair is platinum blonde with the random black highlights. They have every possible “it” label in their possession because they depend on US Weekly to tell them what is cool. The look is worse than safe. It’s forced, and I can’t help but think they want everyone to think they are sexy despite being fertile.
I don’t want to be sexy, but I would like to be me. And my initial response to Nicole’s post begs the question: When did dressing young and free become incongruous with being a stay at home mom? From the looks of the other moms at schools, malls, and restaurants across the country, I am not the only one who relinquished style to embrace motherhood. I have treated my wardrobe with the same practical eye that, until recently, I used to decorate my house. Everything safe, predictable, unlikely to offend (or inspire), and guaranteed to last several years in a life without oxygen.
I have taken some steps in distancing myself from the Mom Club. I stopped using Coach two years ago (I still have a wallet I need to swap out–any suggestions?), and I cut my hair shoulder length to make it harder to put it back in a ponytail. Now I just need to work on my clothes.
Maybe Nicole’s outfit wasn’t totally wrong for me, after all. I don’t often wear shoes in the house, so the heels really aren’t as problematic as I imagined. Fabric panels peeking out of a purse probably coordinate with more items than giant interlocking Cs. If I look better in skirts, I should wear them–wardrobe malfunctions be damned. Mixing metals? There are bigger controversies– like waiting until you really are too old to buy an outfit you love.
Two things limit our success: drive and confidence. I really believe that if giving proper instruction, there isn’t much any of us can’t do. But, if you don’t believe you can do it, you’ll fail. Now, there are some things better left to those with a more congruous skill set. For example, you won’t see me moseying into the OR to perform neurosurgery anytime soon. This all points to drive. I could be, potentially, the world’s best neurosurgeon. Heck, even just a mediocre neurosurgeon. But I don’t have the drive to study the way medical school requires; I don’t want it enough.
This is hardly a new website, but if any of you are looking for a little inspiration from women in creative businesses you should read a few of the stories on Another Girl at Play. Here is a group of woman enjoying the synergistic effect of drive and confidence. When you want something bad enough, and believe you can do it, there really are no limits.
